Teaching

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1. One day a teacher was teaching religion One day a teacher was teaching religion, when she asked the class “What part of your body do you think goes up to heaven first?” Two children rose their hand. One was little Johnny. Hesitant to pick on him she chose little Mary. “I think your heart goes first because, that’s were your emotions of […]...
2. The homework schedule Here is an explanation of the school homework policy for the average student. Students should not spend more than ninety minutes per night. This time should be budgeted in the following manner if the student desires to achieve moderate to good grades in his/her classes. 15 minutes looking for assignment. 11 minutes calling a friend […]...
3. Перевод слова teaching Teaching – обучение, преподавание Перевод слова Teaching machine – обучающая машина the teachings of experience – то, что подсказывает опыт teaching profession – преподавательская деятельность Peter switched over to Teaching. Питер перешел на преподавательскую работу. Jan has a vocation for Teaching. У Яна есть склонность к преподаванию. Teaching adolescents can be quite a challenge. Обучение […]...
4. A young female teacher was giving an assignment A young female teacher was giving an assignment to her Grade 6 class one day. It was a large assignment so she started writing high up on the chalkboard. Suddenly there was a giggle from one of the boys in the class. She quickly turned and asked, “What’s so funny Pat?” “Well teacher, I just […]...
5. Special High Intensity Teaching Memo to all students: In order to assure the highest levels of quality work and productivity From students, it will be our policy to keep all students well taught through our program of SPECIAL HIGH INTENSITY TEACHING (S. H. I. T.). We are trying to give our students more S. H. I. T. than any […]...
6. A teacher was having trouble teaching arithmetic A teacher was having trouble teaching arithmetic to Little Johnny. So she said, “If you reached in your right pocket and found a nickel, and you reached in your left pocket and found another one, what would you have?” “Somebody else’s pants.” said the Little Johnny....
7. Перевод слова exhaustion Exhaustion – изнеможение, изнурение, истощение Перевод слова To be in a state of exhaustion – быть в изнеможении, лишиться сил he died of exhaustion – он умер от истощения he fell down with exhaustion – он упал обессиленный Sheer Exhaustion forced him to give up. Крайнее изнеможение заставило его сдаться. Having him talking all the […]...
8. Teaching Children About Safety Ms. Sanchez: Okay, kids. I’m Ms. Sanchez, your Substitute for this week. I’m taking all of you on the Field trip tomorrow. Listen up. There are some Ground rules we need To go over. First, each of you will have a Partner and you will Hold hands while we cross the streets. Student: Ms. Sanchez…? […]...
9. Winnie The???? “Winnie The????” It was the first day after Christmas vacation in a 3rd grade class. The teacher told the class that each student could tell the class one thing they got for Christmas. So, the teacher calls on a girl to come up to the front of the class and tell everyone 1 thing she […]...
10. A mother was teaching her three year old daughter A mother was teaching her three year old daughter The Lord’s Prayer. For several evenings at bedtime, she repeated it after her mother. One night she said she was ready to solo. The mother listened with pride, as she carefully enunciated each word right up to the end…”And lead us not into temptation”, she prayed, […]...
11. At a Texas University, a Professor had been teaching his At a Texas University, a Professor had been teaching his students human reproduction. For an exam, one of the questions was: “Female humans are born with a limited number of eggs, while males, during their lifetime, produce millions upon millions of sperm. Why are so many sperm produced?” One young woman’s answer: “Because they won’t […]...
12. One day in class the teacher One day in class the teacher has sex education. On the black board she draws a penis then asks the class if any of them knows what it is. In the back of the room, Dirty Johnny stands and says “That’s a penis, and my father has two of them”. The teacher looks surprised and […]...
13. Перевод слова assignment Assignment – назначение, распределение; задание Перевод слова Dangerous assignment – опасное задание special assignment – специальное задание assignment switch – распределитель вызовов The reporter is here on Assignment. Репортер здесь на задании. The students were given a homework Assignment. Студенты получили домашнее задание. He’s fussing about his new Assignment. Он волнуется о своем новом назначении. […]...
14. Learning Self-Defense Teacher: Welcome, everybody, to this Self-defense class. Today, you’ll learn how To size up a situation and how to tell the difference between a Harmless situation and a Threatening one. You’ll also begin to learn some Hand-to-hand combat moves To defend yourselves. Amy: Oh, good. I can’t wait to learn some Martial arts so I […]...
15. A good student It was the first day of school and a new student named Martinez, the son of a Mexican restaurateur, entered the fourth grade. The teacher said, “Let’s begin by reviewing some American history. Who said “Give me Liberty, or give me Death?” She saw a sea of blank faces, except for Martinez, who had his […]...
16. A little period The kindergarten class had a homework assignment to find out about something exciting and relate it to the class the next day. When the time came for the little kids to give their reports, the teacher was calling on them one at a time. She was reluctant to call upon little Johnnie, knowing that he […]...
17. Black belt degrees Requirements for 11th Degree Black Belt Master of Judo Well before testing for this rank any experienced Judo teacher should have already learned these basic techniques: Escape from Dojo The quick exit to avoid clean up and helping with the mats. Sleeper Stance Standing at the corner of the dojo pretending to be observing the […]...
18. Перевод слова extreme Extreme – экстремальный, крайний Перевод слова Extreme old age – глубокая старость extreme patience – величайшее терпение extreme conditions – экстремальные условия It cools with Extreme slowness. Он охлаждается чрезвычайно медленно. Extremes meet. Противоположности сходятся. He professed Extreme regret. Он изобразил крайнее сожаление....
19. Are You Obsessed With Grades – Ты зависишь от своих оценок While we recognize the importance of getting good grades—they indicate you’ve learned something, further your progress from high school to college, and keep your parents happy —those letters don’t mean everything. Sure, you want to do well, but focusing only on maintaining straight A’s can lead to hair loss, sleepless nights, and generally irrational behavior. […]...
20. A college professor is explaining to his class that pleasure A college professor is explaining to his class that pleasure is a mental state, and that many people overlook the things they already have. He says, “A man who has developed a true sense of appreciation can enjoy a good bowel movement as much as having sexual intercourse.” One student stands up and says, “Professor, […]...
21. Famous Quotes One Friday morning, a teacher came up with a novel way to motivate her class. She told them that she would read a quote and the first student to correctly identify who said it would receive the rest of the day off. She started with “This was England’s finest hour.” Little Suzy instantly jumped up […]...
22. Types of Students in School Cheech: Is this your old Yearbook? Boo: Yeah, I found it while cleaning out my closet. Cheech: Look at your picture! You look like you were an Honor roll student. Boo: Don’t be fooled. I was just an average student, not the Valedictorian, but not a Dropout either. Cheech: Who is that? She’s very pretty. […]...
23. Nature of Hell A thermodynamics professor had written a take home exam for his graduate students. It had one question: Is Hell exothermic (gives off heat) or endothermic (absorbs heat)? Support your answer with a proof.” Most of the students wrote proofs of their beliefs using Boyle’s Law (gas cools off when it expands and heats up when […]...
24. A psychology student at a local university A psychology student at a local university was sent on a field assignment to evaluate three patients in a local mental hospital. The first patient was locked in his room throwing tennis balls everywhere. The student asked why, and the patient answered “When I get out of here I going to ba a tennis pro.” […]...
25. A young schoolboy was having a hard time pronouncing A young schoolboy was having a hard time pronouncing the letter “R,” and all the other kids were, of course, teasing him about it. To help him out, the teacher gave him a sentence to practice at home: “Robert gave Richard a rap in the ribs for roasting the rabbit so rare.” In class a […]...
26. How to write a paper 1. Sit in a straight, comfortable chair in a well-lighted place with plenty of freshly sharpened pencils. 2. Read over the assignment carefully, to make certain you understand it. 3. Walk down to the vending machines and buy some coffee to help you concentrate. 4. Stop off at the third floor, on the way back […]...
27. The room was full of pregnant ladies The room was full of pregnant ladies and their partners, and the Lamaze class was in full swing. The instructor was teaching the women how to breathe properly, along with informing the men how to give the necessary assurances at this stage of the plan. The teacher then announced, “Ladies, exercise is good for you. […]...
28. Значение идиомы flash card [flash card] {n.} A card with numbers or words on it that is usedin teaching, a class. The teacher used flash cards to drill theclass in addition....
29. A group of third, fourth and fifth graders A group of third, fourth and fifth graders accompanied by two female teachers went on a field trip to the local race track to learn about thoroughbred horses and the supporting industry. During the tour some of the children wanted to go to the toilet so it was decided that the girls would go with […]...
30. Business is business A young Jewish boy starts attending public school in a small town. The teacher of the one-room school decides to use her position to try to influence the new student. She asks the class, “Who was the greatest man that ever lived?” A girl raises her hand and says, “I think George Washington was the […]...
31. My Future Profession В топике Моя будущая профессия – я рассказываю о выборе своей профессии. Это одно из самых важных решений для каждого человека, ведь от него зависит во многом будущая жизнь. Итак, я выбрал профессию учителя и поступил в Иркутский государственный педагогический университет, где студенты изучают английский и русский, педагогику, историю, медицину и другие предметы. Я хочу […]...
32. Accepting Credit Cards Danny: Are you sure we should start accepting credit cards from our customers? We’ve always been a Cash-only business. Katy: I think we need to for the convenience of our customers. It won’t be as big a Nuisance as you think, with this new Cash register. Danny: The instructions say the Merchant has to swipe […]...
33. The Teacher tells the class they are going to play a game The Teacher tells the class they are going to play a game, she will describe an object and the students will tell her what she had described. Teacher: “The first object is Red, Round, and has a stem.” Timmy: ” I know what it is, it’s an apple.” Teacher: “That’s right, I like the way […]...
34. A middle aged man and woman fall in love, and decide to get married A middle aged man and woman fall in love, and decide to get married. On their wedding night they settle into the bridal suite and the bride says to her new groom, “Please be gentle… I am still a virgin.” The startled groom says “How can that be? You’ve been married twice…” The bride responds… […]...
35. Great School Humor “I find television very educating. Every time somebody turns on the set, I go into the other room and read a book.” – Groucho Marx 1890-1977 – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – […]...
36. Значение идиомы belabor the point [belabor the point] {v. phr.} To overexplain something to the point of obviousness, resulting in ridicule. “Lest I belabor the point,” the teacher said, “I must repeat the importance of teaching good grammar in class.”...
37. A Burglar is in Big Trouble A burglar has just made it into the house he’s intending ransacking, and he’s looking around for stuff to steal. All of a sudden, a little voice pipes up, “I can see you, and so can Jesus!” Startled, the burglar looks around the room. No one there at all, so he goes back to his […]...
38. Перевод слова student Student – студент, курсант Перевод слова Student-curated exhibition – выставка, организованная студентами student demonstration – студенческая демонстрация student driver – лицо, обучающееся вождению She was an average Student. Она была обычной студенткой. Assign each Student a partner. Назначьте каждому студенту напарника. He is a Student of the occult. Он изучает оккультизм....
39. A little boy was excited about his first day at school A little boy was excited about his first day at school. So excited in fact, that only a few minutes after class started, he realized that he desperately needed to go to the bathroom. So he raised his hand politely to ask if he could be excused. Of course the teacher said yes, but asked […]...
40. How does physics save lives? One day our professor was discussing a particularly complicated concept. A pre-med student rudely interrupted to ask “Why do we have to learn this stuff?” “To save lives.” the professor responded quickly and continued the lecture. A few minutes later, the same student spoke up again. “So how does physics save lives?” he persisted. “It […]...