Swerve to avoid a box

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1. A state trooper pulled a car overA state trooper pulled a car over and told the man driving that he was going 50 mph in a 40 mph zone. «I was only going 40!» the driver protested. «Not according to my radar,» the trooper said. «Yes, I was!» the man shouted back. «No you weren’t!» the trooper said. With that, the ... Читать далее...
2. Two guys are driving through Texas whenTwo guys are driving through Texas when they get pulled over by a state trooper. The trooper walks up, taps on the window with his nightstick, the driver rolls down the window, and the trooper smacks him in the head with the stick. The driver says, «Why’d you do that? The trooper says, «You’re in ... Читать далее...
3. Arguing about the signA man was driving down a local street one day and approached a stop sign. He barely slowed down and ran right through the stop sign after glancing for traffic. What the driver didn’t know was that a policeman was watching the intersection. The policeman pulled out after him and stopped the car two blocks ... Читать далее...
4. Hope never diesA man driving outside of Baltimore, Maryland was southbound on Interstate 95 in the far right hand lane traveling at 55 mph, minding his own business. He noticed in his rear view mirror that a Maryland State Trooper was right behind him. A mile later nothing changed, except now he’s driving at 65 mph, the ... Читать далее...
5. Driving home very drunkIt seems a gentleman had too much alcohol at a party, was heading home, and was pulled over by a state trooper. Upon being tested, the fellow couldn’t walk a straight line any more than he could drive one, so the trooper wrote out a ticket and had just given it to the driver before ... Читать далее...
6. Перевод слова avoidAvoid — избегать, остерегаться, уклоняться Перевод слова To avoid collision — избежать столкновения a fatality that it was hopeless to avoid — судьба, которой нельзя было избежать to avoid ambiguity — избежать неясности in order to avoid — во избежание Let’s Avoid a confrontation. Давайте избегать конфронтации. Why do you keep Avoiding me? Почему ты ... Читать далее...
7. Taking a Test DriveMario: I’d like To test drive the new Racer. Leah: Sure, all Prospective buyers can take one of our cars for a test drive. May I see your Driver’s license? Mario: Here it is. Leah: Okay, come with me. Why don’t you get into the Driver’s seat and I’ll get into the Passenger seat? All ... Читать далее...
8. Now he’s in troubleA police officer had just pulled a car over. When he walked up to the car a man rolled down the window and said, «what’s the problem officer?» To which the policeman responded, «I stopped you for running that red light behind you.» Just then the man’s wife leaned forward from the driver’s seat and ... Читать далее...
9. One night, a police officer was stalking out a particularly rowdy barOne night, a police officer was stalking out a particularly rowdy bar for possible violations of the driving-under-the — influence laws. At closing time, he saw a fellow stumble out of the bar, trip on the curb, and try his keys on five different cars before he found his. Then, sat in the front seat ... Читать далее...
10. Obey the speed limitSitting on the side of the highway waiting to catch speeding drivers, a State Police Officer see’s a car puttering along at 22 MPH. He thinks to himself, «This driver is just as dangerous as a speeder!»So he turns on his lights and pulls the driver over. Approaching the car, he notices that there are ... Читать далее...
11. The hunting seasonThis truck driver hauling a tractor-trailer load of computers stops for a beer. As he approaches the bar he sees a big sign on the door saying «NERDS NOT ALLOWED — ENTER AT OWN RISK!» He goes in and sits down. The bartender comes over to him, sniffs, says he smells kind of nerdy, asks ... Читать далее...
12. Save the dead rabbitA man was driving along the highway, and saw a rabbit hopping across the middle of the road. He swerved to avoid hitting the rabbit, but unfortunately the rabbit jumped in front of the car and was hit. The driver, being a sensitive man as well as an animal lover, pulled over to the side ... Читать далее...
13. Getting a Traffic TicketI was driving down the street when I saw a Police car behind me. Suddenly, it turned on its Siren. I realized that I was Being pulled over. Officer: Can I see your Driver’s license, Registration, and Proof of insurance? Ray: Sure. Here you are, officer. Officer: Did you know that you were Speeding? You ... Читать далее...
14. Перевод слова recklessReckless — необдуманный, безрассудный, беспечный Перевод слова Reckless step — безрассудный шаг, опрометчивый поступок reckless gambler — отчаянный игрок reckless driving — неосторожная езда reckless of danger — равнодушный к опасности Происхождение слова reckless Образовано от слова Reck (обращать внимание, иметь значение) с помощью суффикса — less, который означает отсутствие либо нехватку чего-либо....
15. Hair sprayA man was driving along the highway, and saw a rabbit hopping across the middle of the road. He swerved to avoid hitting the rabbit, but unfortunately the rabbit jumped in front of the car and was hit. The driver, being a sensitive man as well as an animal lover, pulled over to the side ... Читать далее...
16. AVOID SOCIAL BLUNDERS WITH THESE HELPFUL WEDDING HINTSAVOID SOCIAL BLUNDERS WITH THESE HELPFUL WEDDING HINTS: — Livestock usually is a poor choice for a wedding gift. — Is it okay to bring a date to a wedding? Not if you are the groom. — When dancing, never remove undergarments; no matter how hot it is. — Kissing the bride for more than ... Читать далее...
17. Handling a Traffic StopI was having a great day until I saw the police car behind me with its loud Siren and lights Flashing. I Pulled off the road and waited for the officer to approach my car. Officer: May I see your Driver’s license, proof of insurance, and Car registration, please? Lindsay: Let me get them out ... Читать далее...
18. He’s drunk at the barOne night a police officer was staking out a particularly rowdy bar for possible DUI violations. At closing time, he saw a fellow stumble out of the bar, trip on the curb and try his keys on five different cars before he found his. The man sat in the front seat fumbling around with his ... Читать далее...
19. A policeman was patrolling near midnightA policeman was patrolling near midnight at a local parking spot overlooking a golf course. He drove by a car and saw a couple inside with the dome light on. Inside there was a young man in the driver’s seat reading a computer magazine and a young lady in the back seat calmly knitting. He ... Читать далее...
20. A policeman pulls over a driver for swerving in and outA policeman pulls over a driver for swerving in and out of lanes on the highway. He tells the guy to blow a breath into a breathalyzer. «I can’t do that, officer.» «Why not?» «Because I’m an asthmatic. I could get an asthma attack if I blow into that tube.» «Okay, we’ll just get a ... Читать далее...
21. A fellow was following a truck in heavy trafficA fellow was following a truck in heavy traffic. Every block or so, when they were stopped at a stop light, the driver of the truck would jump out of the cab with a big stick and bang on the side of the cargo bay. He’d then jump back into the cab in time to ... Читать далее...
22. A driver, obviously drunk, was heading the wrong wayA driver, obviously drunk, was heading the wrong way down a one-way street when a policeman pulled him over. «Didn’t you see the arrow, buddy?» he asked. «An arrow?» the confused driver said. «I didn’t even see the Indians...
23. Two truck drivers arrive in front of a tunnelTwo truck drivers arrive in front of a tunnel. The sign says MAXIMUM HEIGHT 3 METERS. The first driver measures his truck and says, «Damn…3 .2 meters!» The second one looks furtively around and says, «No police, anywhere. We can go!»...
24. I just did all of thatAfter a particularly poor game of golf, a popular club member skipped the clubhouse and started to go home. As he was walking to the parking lot to get his car, a policeman stopped him and asked, «Did you tee off on the sixteenth hole about twenty minutes ago?» «Yes,» the golfer responded. «Did you ... Читать далее...
25. Значение идиомы get down to brass tacks[get down to brass tacks] also [get down to cases] {v. phr.},{informal} To begin the most important work or business; get startedon the most important things to talk about or know. The men talkedabout little things and then got down to brass tacks. A busydoctor wants his patients to get down to brass tacks....
26. A guy driving a truck in the middle of nowhereA guy driving a truck in the middle of nowhere picks up a hitch-hiker. It gets dark and the hitch-hiker falls asleep. Suddenly bang, and the hitch-hiker wakes up,»what the hell was that?». The truck driver replies, «some kinda animal, go back to sleep.» Further the same thing again, bang, «What the hell was that?», ... Читать далее...
27. The answer to the eternal questionA man was speeding down the highway, feeling secure in a gaggle of cars all traveling at the same speed. However, as they passed a speed trap, he got nailed with an infrared speed detector and was pulled over. The officer handed him the citation, received his signature and was about to walk away when ... Читать далее...
28. Charged for speedingA man was speeding down a Alabama highway, feeling secure in a gaggle of cars all traveling at the same speed. However, as they passed a speed trap, he got nailed with an infrared speed detector and was pulled over. The officer handed him the citation, received his signature and was about to walk away ... Читать далее...
29. Policemen in HeavenSt Peter is standing at heaven’s gate when a man walks up. «Welcome to heaven my son. What did you do with your life?» «I was a policeman,» he responded. «What kind of policeman?» St Peter asked. «I was a vice officer. I kept dangerous narcotics out of the hands of kids.» «Wonderful my son, ... Читать далее...
30. He is extremely drunkLate one Friday night the policeman spotted a man driving very erratically through the streets of Dublin. They pulled the man over and asked him if he had been drinking that evening. «Aye, so I have. ‘Tis Friday, you know, so me and the lads stopped by the pub where I had six or seven ... Читать далее...
31. An offenseLate one Friday night the policeman spotted a man driving very erratically through the streets of Dublin. They pulled the man over and asked him if he had been drinking that evening. «Aye, so I have. ‘Tis Friday, you know, so me and the lads stopped by the pub where I had six or seven ... Читать далее...
32. Перевод слова truckTruck — грузовик Перевод слова Truck driver — водитель грузовика light truck — малотоннажный грузовой автомобиль to slam into a truck — врезаться в грузовик The Truck laboured up the hill. Грузовик с трудом взбирался вверх по склону. He has Trucked all his equipment. Он привез на грузовике все свое оборудование. He jumped into his ... Читать далее...
33. Deaf lady in troubleOne day a lady was driving on the Highway. She frequently checked her speed gauge to make sure she stayed within the speed limit. However, when she looked into her rear mirror, much to her dismay, she saw a police car not far behind! And, to make matters worse, the police car turned on his ... Читать далее...
34. Blonde on blondeA blonde woman was speeding down the road in her little red sports car and was pulled over by a woman police officer, who was also a blonde. The cop asked to see the blonde’s driver’s license. She dug through her purse and was getting progressively more agitated. «What does it look like?» she finally ... Читать далее...
35. Don’t say this to a copThe top 20 things not to say to a cop when he pulls you over. 20. I can’t reach my license unless you hold my beer. 19. Sorry officer, I didn’t realize my radar detector wasn’t plugged in. 18. Aren’t you the guy from the villiage people? 17. Hey, you must have been doing 125 ... Читать далее...
36. A police officer came upon a terrible wreckA police officer came upon a terrible wreck where the driver and passenger had been killed. As he looked upon the wreckage a little monkey came out of the brush and hopped around the crashed car. The officer looked down at the monkey and said «I wish you could talk.» The monkey looked up at ... Читать далее...
37. A taxi passenger tapped the driver on the shoulderA taxi passenger tapped the driver on the shoulder to ask him a question. The driver screamed, lost control of the car, nearly hit a bus, went up on the footpath, and stopped centimeters from a shop window. For a second everything went quiet in the cab, then the driver said, «Look mate, don’t ever ... Читать далее...
38. These two guys are car pooling home from work one dayThese two guys are car pooling home from work one day. Traffic is barely crawling along and they are both a bit bored. So the driver is looking around and suddenly he points at two dogs having sex on someone’s front lawn. «Look», he shouts «What are the those dogs doing? are they fighting?» The ... Читать далее...
39. Rolls Royce vs. YugoA guy driving a Yugo pulled up to a stoplight next to a Rolls-Royce. He rolled down his window and shouted to the driver of the Rolls. «Hey, buddy, that’s a nice car. You got a phone in your Rolls? I’ve got a phone in my Yugo!» The driver of the Rolls looked over and ... Читать далее...
40. Attempts by the dumbSIX DIE TRYING TO SAVE CHICKEN — August 1, 1995 CAIRO, Egypt (AP) — Six people drowned yesterday while trying to rescue a chicken that had fallen into a well in southern Egypt. An 18-year-old farmer was the first to descend into the 60-foot well. He drowned, apparently after an undercurrent in the water pulled ... Читать далее...