Sweet, Sweet Road Rage

Related topics:

1. Finding a Parking SpaceAlan: We have to find a Parking space. Let’s drive around the Block one more time. Did you say that the restaurant we’re going to has no Off-street parking at all? Sasha: None. When I called the restaurant earlier today, I was told they have Ample street parking. Alan: Obviously not on a Saturday night. ... Читать далее...
2. A veterinarian surgeonA veterinarian surgeon had had a hell of a day, but when he got home from tending to all the sick animals his wife was waiting with a long cool drink and a romantic candle-lit dinner, after which they had a few more drinks and went happily to bed. At about 2:00 in the morning, ... Читать далее...
3. Перевод сленгового выражения road rage, значение и пример использованияСленговое выражение: road rage Перевод: злость, раздражение на других участников движения во время пробок, заторов; споры, оскорбления между автомобилистами Пример: That lady tried to run me off the road! She must have a bad case of road rage. Эта дамочка пыталась вытеснить меня с дороги. Наверное, она сильно бесится за рулем. The police blamed road ... Читать далее...
4. A real bastardA little boy is standing at the side of a river, weeping. His tears are streaming down his cheeks. An elderly lady passes by and feels pity for him. «What is the matter, young boy? Why are you crying?» «It’s mean!», the boy sniffed, «My daddy drowned all four little kittens we had yesterday!» «That’s ... Читать далее...
5. A policeman was patrolling near midnightA policeman was patrolling near midnight at a local parking spot overlooking a golf course. He drove by a car and saw a couple inside with the dome light on. Inside there was a young man in the driver’s seat reading a computer magazine and a young lady in the back seat calmly knitting. He ... Читать далее...
6. Fighting a Parking TicketMindy: Hey, where are you going? Eric: I’m going to Traffic court. I got a parking Ticket and I’m going to Fight it. Mindy: How much was the Fine? Eric: It was Only $40. But it’s not the money, it’s the Principle of the thing. Mindy: Why? Weren’t you parked Illegally? Eric: No, I wasn‚Aot. ... Читать далее...
7. More neighborhood jokesThey had a ‘witchy’ old lady next door that was constantly complaining about everything and everyone in the neighborhood. After one really good round about kids and pets messing up her spotless front yard, my buddies planned what turned out to be a better joke than they originally thought. Juvenile as we all were, they ... Читать далее...
8. Parking InstructionsI arrived for my meeting at the headquarters of Woon Enterprises and I stopped at the Kiosk to ask for directions. It’s a huge organization and the offices are located on a 30-acre Compound, so it’s very hard To find your way around Without some help. Guard: Good morning. Edyta: Good morning. I’m here for ... Читать далее...
9. Перевод слова ladyLady — леди, женщина Перевод слова Great lady — знатная дама you’ve dropped your gloves, lady! — женщина, вы обронили перчатки! foxy lady — соблазнительная женщина your good lady — ваша супруга Shall we rejoin the Ladies? Не вернуться ли нам к дамам? She’s swell, a real Lady. Она одевается стильно, как настоящая леди. Don’t ... Читать далее...
10. Welfare officeA young man walked into the local welfare office, marched straight up to the counter and said, «Hi, I hate drawing welfare. I would really rather find a job. The man behind the counter replied, «Your timing is amazing. We’ve just got a listing from a very wealthy man who wants a chauffeur/bodyguard for his ... Читать далее...
11. A horse and a rabbitA horse and a rabbit are playing in a meadow. The horse falls into a mud hole and is sinking. He calls to the rabbit to go and get the farmer to help pull him out to safety. The rabbit runs to the farm but the farmer can’t be found. He drives the farmer’s Mercedes ... Читать далее...
12. A horse and a chicken are playing in a meadowA horse and a chicken are playing in a meadow. The horse falls into a mud hole and is sinking. He calls to the chicken to go and get the farmer to help pull him out to safety. The chicken runs to the farm but the farmer can’t be found. So he drives the farmer’s ... Читать далее...
13. Smart decisionTwo gas company servicemen, a senior training supervisor and a young trainee, were out checking meters in a suburban neighborhood. They parked their truck the end of the alley and worked their way to the other end. At the last house a woman looking out her kitchen window watched the two men as they checked ... Читать далее...
14. Two blondes observed in a parking lot trying to unlockTwo blondes observed in a parking lot trying to unlock the door of their Mercedes with a coat hanger. Blonde#1: I can’t seem to get this door unlocked! Blonde#2: Well, you’d better hurry up and try harder, its starting to rain and the top is down!...
15. Don’t do while drivingWe do not advise following any of the below driving rules to any extent. Driving should be taken seriously at all times. The below jokes are simply here for entertainment purposes. When using a metered entrance ramp, vehicles in the carpool lane do not need to stop. Similarly, vehicles NOT in the diamond lane also ... Читать далее...
16. Значение идиомы double-park[double-park] {v.} To park a car beside another car which is at the curb. Jimmy’s father double-parked his car and the police gave him a ticket. If you double-park, you block other cars from passing....
17. Перевод слова spaceSpace — пространство, интервал; космос Перевод слова A space of ten feet — расстояние в 10 футов parking space for 500 cars — место для стоянки пятисот автомобилей to domesticate space — осваивать космос There’s not much empty Space. Там не так много свободного места. Space exploitation is now a fact. Исследования космического пространства стали ... Читать далее...
18. It was the age when knighthood was in flowerIt was the age when knighthood was in flower. A young lady was pounding away at a piece of iron with a sledgehammer. Another young lady saw her and asked, «What are you doing?» The first one answered, «I’m making socks and sweater for some soldier boy!»...
19. Three little old ladies, sitting on a park benchThree little old ladies, sitting on a park bench. The town flasher comes by and shows them his ALL! The first little old lady had a huge stroke. The second little old lady had a little stroke. The third little old lady would have had a stroke…………….but her arms weren’t quite long enough....
20. ConfessionsThree young women are at a cocktail party. The conversation turns to their position in life, and it’s clear that they’re trying to one-up each other. The first one says, «My husband is taking me to the French Riviera for two weeks on vacation,» and then looks at the others with a superior demeanor. The ... Читать далее...
21. The young couple was engaged in a most affectionateThe young couple was engaged in a most affectionate embrace when there came the sound of a key in the front door. The young lady broke away at once, eyes wide with alarm. «Heavens,» she cried, «it’s my husband! Quick, jump out the window.» The young man, equally alarmed, made a quick step toward the ... Читать далее...
22. Перевод слова upsetUpset — расстройство, огорчение; выводить из равновесия, опрокидывать Перевод слова Mental upset — психическое расстройство to upset a boat — опрокинуть лодку a bit of an upset with his father — небольшая размолвка с отцом to upset everything in the house — перевернуть все в доме He was Upset but never let it show. Он ... Читать далее...
23. Перевод слова parkPark — парк; парковаться Перевод слова Amusement park — парк развлечений city park — городской парк national park — национальный парк to park a car along the side of a street — поставить машину у тротуара Let’s meet at the Park. Давайте встретимся в парке. We biked to the Park. Мы поехали на великах в ... Читать далее...
24. Thank you for the emailsTHANK YOU Thank you to all my friends who sent me such important emails this year! It’s so wonderful that you included me in your quest to inform! Because of all of you I stopped drinking Coca-Cola after I found out from you that it’s good for removing toilet stains and rusting the arse out ... Читать далее...
25. At an Amusement ParkMy brother, his wife, and their two daughters are in town and I had promised the girls that I would take them to an Amusement park. I don’t really like Roller coasters, but I knew the kids would like it. On Saturday morning, we drove down to the Theme park. We parked and took a ... Читать далее...
26. A young soldier was making his first parachute jumpA young soldier was making his first parachute jump. The corporal explained the procedure «You count to ten and pull the first ripcord. If the chute doesn’t open, pull the second. That should do it. Then, after you land, there’ll be a truck waiting to pick you up.» The soldier checked his gear, called out ... Читать далее...
27. Taking the Driving TestCesar: I just took the Driving test. See this? That’s my new License. May: You have to give me the Play-by-play. I’m taking the test next week and I’m Freaking out. Cesar: There’s nothing to worry about. It was easy. May: I’m not worried about the written test. It’s the driving test I’m worried about. ... Читать далее...
28. A young lady walks into a doctors officeA young lady walks into a doctors office. «Doctor I’m suffering from a terrible discharge» The Doctor lays her down lifts up her dress and has a good probe around and says «how does that feel?» Young lady, «Oooh doctor that feels lovely….. …but the discharge is from my ear!!»...
29. Cowboy Joe was telling his fellow cowboys back on the ranchCowboy Joe was telling his fellow cowboys back on the ranch about his first visit to a big-city church. «When I got there, they had me park my old truck in the corral,» Joe began. «You mean the parking lot,» interrupted Charlie, a more worldly fellow. «I walked up the trail to the door,» Joe ... Читать далее...
30. The Road to the Stars — Дорога к звездамWhen did man first begin to think of space travel? Man began to think of space travel in the second century A. D. At that time a Greek, Lucian of Samos, wrote a fantastic story about a man who was carried to the Moon by a storm. In his second story about space, Lucian’s hero ... Читать далее...
31. Working on the roadA fellow stopped at a rural gas station and, after filling his tank, he paid the bill and bought a soft drink. He stood by his car to drink his cola and he watched a couple of men working along the roadside. One man would dig a hole two or three feet deep and then ... Читать далее...
32. Small WorldTwo men are having an awfully slow round of golf because the two ladies in front of them managed to get into every sand trap, lake, and rough on the course, and they didn’t bother to wave the men on through, which is proper golf etiquette. After two hours of waiting and waiting, one man ... Читать далее...
33. Going Out of BusinessJulianne: I’m really glad to be back in Macville. What happened to the market that used to be here? Helio: Oh, it Went belly up. It Struggled for many years. The owners tried To downsize and reduced the space they were renting, but they had To throw in the towel when they got into Debt. ... Читать далее...
34. A little boy and his dad are standing in lineA little boy and his dad are standing in line at the grocery store behind a big fat lady. The little boy says, «hey dad, look how fat that lady is!» «Shhhh, quiet son, she’ll hear you.» «But dad, look how big and fat that lady is!» «Shhhhhh, don’t say that son, it’s not nice!» ... Читать далее...
35. Фразовые глаголы с «PULL»Pull round — поправляться He was just beginning to pull round after his operation. Pull away — выделяться, отрываться от лидера Sullivan pulled away in the final lap. Pull back — отступать Our tank forces pulled back to regroup. Pull off — отходить, отъезжать If you’re feeling sleepy, pull off the road immediately and have ... Читать далее...
36. Evaluating employeesRE: Quotes Taken from actual performance evaluations: «Since my last report, this employee has reached rock bottom and has started to dig.» «His men would follow him anywhere, but only out of morbid curiosity.» «I would not allow this employee to breed.» «This associate is really not so much of a has-been, but more of ... Читать далее...
37. While out one morning in the park, a jogger found a brand newWhile out one morning in the park, a jogger found a brand new tennis ball. Seeing no one around that it might belong to, he slipped it into the pocket of his shorts. Later, on his way home, he stopped at the pedestrian crossing, waiting for the lights to change. A girl standing next to ... Читать далее...
38. This fellow was screwing his best friend’s wife when heThis fellow was screwing his best friend’s wife when he suddenly stopped and sat on the edge of the bed, holding his head in his hands. «What the hell is your problem?» the lady asked. «I feel like a regular son of a bitch, getting my best friends pussy,» the man moaned. The lady reached ... Читать далее...
39. Travel with a horseAn out-of-towner drove his car into a ditch in a desolated area. Luckily, a local farmer came to help with his big strong horse named Buddy. He hitched Buddy up to the car and yelled, «Pull, Nellie, pull!» Buddy didn’t move. Then the farmer hollered, «Pull, Buster, pull!» Buddy didn’t respond. Once more the farmer ... Читать далее...
40. The young lady entered the doctor’s office carrying an infantThe young lady entered the doctor’s office carrying an infant. «Doctor,» she explained, «the baby seems to be ailing. Instead of gaining weight, he lost three ounces this week.» The medic examined the child and then started to squeeze the girl’s breasts. He then unbuttoned her blouse, removed the bra and began powerfully sucking on ... Читать далее...