Speaking of spelling, here is a news bulletin
Speaking of spelling, here’s a news bulletin…….. The European Commission has just announced an agreement whereby English will be the official language of the EU rather than German, which was the other possibility. As part of the negotiations, Her Majesty’s Government conceded that English spelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a 5-year phase-in plan that would be known as “EuroEnglish.” In the first year, “s” will replace the soft “c” . . . Sertainly, this will make the sivil servants jump with joy. The hard “c” will be dropped in favor of the “k.” This should klear up konfusion and keyboards kan have 1 less letter. There will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year, when the troublesome “ph” will be replased with the “f.” This will make words like “fotograf” 20% shorter. In the 3rd year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expekted to reach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible. Governments will enkourage the removal of double letters, which have always ben a deterent to akurate speling. Also, al wil agre that the horible mess of the silent “e’s” in the language is disgraseful, and they should go away. By the 4th yar, peopl wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing “th” with “z” and the “w” with “v.” During the fifz yar, ze unesesary “o” kan be dropd from vords kontaining “ou” and similar changes vud of kors be aplid to ozer kombinations of leters. After ze fifz yar, ve vil hav a realy sensibl vriten styl. Zer vil be no mor trubls or difikultis and evryvun vil find it easy tu understand each ozer. ZE DREM VIL FINALI KUM TRU!
Related topics:
- Europe English The European Commission has just announced an agreement whereby English will be the official language of the EU rather than German which was the other possibility. As part of the negotiations, Her Majesty’s Government conceded that English spelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a five year phase-in plan that would be known […]...
- The new Euro language The European Union commissioners have announced that agreement has been reached to adopt English as the preferred language for European communications, rather than German, which was the other possibility. As part of the negotiations, Her Majesty’s Government conceded that English spelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a five-year phased plan for what […]...
- Changing of the English Language Having chosen English as the preferred language in the EEC, the European Parliament has commissioned a feasibility study in ways of improving efficiency in communications between Government departments. European officials have often pointed out that English spelling is unnecessarily difficult – for example, cough, plough, rough, through and thorough. What is clearly needed is a […]...
- Перевод слова spelling Spelling – орфография, правописание Перевод слова Spelling rule – орфографическое правило spelling reform – реформа правописания word spelling checker – программа проверки орфографии He is poor at Spelling. У него хромает правописание. He is shaky in his Spelling. Он не силен в правописании. Check your Spelling and grammar. Проверьте свои правописание и грамматику. Происхождение слова […]...
- Spelling checker Eye Halve a Spelling Chequer Eye halve a spelling chequer It came with my pea sea It plainly marques four my revue Miss steaks eye kin knot sea. Eye strike a key and type a word And weight four it two say Weather eye am wrong oar write It shows me strait a weigh. As […]...
- A kindergartner was practicing spelling with magnetic letters A kindergartner was practicing spelling with magnetic letters on the refrigerator: cat, dog, dad, and mom had been proudly displayed for all to see. One morning while getting ready for the day, he bounded into the room with his arms outstretched. In his hands were three magnetic letters: G-O – D. “Look what I spelled, […]...
- While attending a spelling session in school one day While attending a spelling session in school one day, The teacher asked if anyone could spell the word DUMB? Darla raises her hand and says “I can, I can” The teacher replies, “OK, go ahead Darla…” Darla replies…”D-U-M-B” The teacher replies, “very good”, and “can you use that word in a sentence?” Darla replies, “Sure, […]...
- Англоговорящие страны/ English-Speaking Countries На английском языке Перевод на русский язык English-Speaking Countries Англоговорящие страны There are several countries in the world where English is a native language. These countries are the United Kingdom, the United States of America, Australia and New Zealand. It is also one of the official languages in Canada, the Irish Republic and the Republic […]...
- English-speaking countries Great Britain, USA, Canada, Australia and New Zealand are English speaking countries. They are situated in different parts of the world and differ in many ways. The nature of these countries, their weather and climate and way of life of their people differ. Each coutry has it’s own history customs, traditions, its own national holidays. […]...
- Satirical site The Onion is now worth more than most of the real news outlets it mocks SATIRICAL NEWS SITE The Onion – known for headlines like’World Death Rate Holding Steady at 100 Percent’ – has been valued at half a billion dollars, more than most of the news outlets it exists to mock. The biggest Spanish-language broadcaster in the US, Univision Communications, announced it has taken a 40% and controlling stake […]...
- Reading and Watching the News I’m a news Junkie. I like to read two newspapers everyday. I don’t just look at the Headlines. I read most of the stories. I like the Political news, the Business news, the Editorials, and the Entertainment news. The only things I don’t usually read are the Sports pages and the Classifieds. I also try […]...
- News from Washington WASHINGTON, DC – Frustrated by failed attempts to turn public support away from the president, congress today announced it would begin releasing completely fabricated documents and videotapes on Monday. Speaker Newt Gingrich addressed the press at the Capitol this morning. “We feel that with the release of all the documents from the Starr Inquisition, and […]...
- Giving sad news to a troop The Captain called the Sergeant in. “Sarge, I just got a telegram that Private Jones’ mother died yesterday. Better go tell him and send him in to see me.” So the Sergeant calls for his morning formation and lines up all the troops. “Listen up, men,” says the Sergeant. “Johnson, report to the mess hall […]...
- Customs and traditions of english speaking countries Топик Обычаи и традиции англоязычных стран рассказывает о том, как бережно англичане относятся к своим традициям и, зная об этом, вы лучше узнаете британцев. Самый почитаемый праздник в Великобритании – это Рождество. Самая главная традиция этого праздника – дарить подарки, и не только родственникам, но и коллегам по работе. Вторая традиция – посылать поздравительные открытки. […]...
- Пословица / поговорка no news is good news – перевод и значение, пример использования Пословица / поговорка: no news is good news Перевод: отсутствие вестей – хорошая весть Пример: Although the woman had not heard from her son for several weeks, she believed that no news is good news and she did not worry. Хотя женщина и не получала известий от своего сына несколько недель, она считала, что отсутствие […]...
- Пословица / поговорка bad news travels fast / bad news has wings – перевод и значение, пример использования Пословица / поговорка: bad news travels fast / bad news has wings Перевод: плохая молва на крыльях летит Эквивалент в русском языке: худые вести не лежат на месте Пример: Bad news travels fast and the man heard about the job layoffs a week before the official announcement. Плохая молва на крыльях летит, и мужчина услышал […]...
- English and me – Английский и я English belongs to the Teutonic or Germanic branch of the Indo-European family of the languages. It is only in the course of the last hundred years that English has become a world language. In Shakespeare’s time it was a provincial language of secondary importance with only 6 million native speakers. Nowadays English has become the […]...
- Bad news and awful news One morning Bill Clinton wakes up. He looks out side, it had snowed during the night and everything was covered in snow. He looks down and sees something written in urine on the lawn it reads “I hope YoU GeT ImPeAcHeD”. Bill calls the FBI and says “Someone has written “I hope you get impeached” […]...
- The bad news and the good news Harry answers the telephone, and it’s an Emergency Room doctor. The doctor says, “Your wife was in a serious car accident, and I have bad news and good news. The bad news is she has lost all use of both arms and both legs, and will need help eating and going to the bathroom for […]...
- Good news and bad news The McCartney kids are at the family ranch anxiously awaiting news of their mother. Paul emerges from his wife’s bedroom. “Kid’s……there’s good news and bad news.” “The bad news is your mother’s strength and will to live has been sucked away by her awful disease and she died a few moments ago” “The good news […]...
- Studying English grammar First of all, grammar is a main component of any language in the world. Without grammar, you can’t understand, for example, the time of action whether it happened in the past or in the present. So, it has a fundamental role in the language. Really, it is beyond description how much important to know the […]...
- Перевод слова take steps Take steps – принимать меры, предпринимать шаги Перевод слова To take step forward – сделать шаг вперед take necessary steps – принять необходимые меры take reasonable steps – предпринять разумные шаги She Took a step toward the door. Она сделала шаг к двери. The police Took steps to reduce crime. Полиция приняла меры для снижения […]...
- Перевод слова bulletin Bulletin – бюллетень, сводка Перевод слова Daily bulletin – ежедневная сводка to issue a bulletin – выпустить бюллетень electronic bulletin board – электронная доска объявлений Here is tonight’s news Bulletin. Вот сегодняшние сводки новостей. I’ll post the news on the Bulletin board. Я буду публиковать новости на доске объявлений. We heard on the radio the […]...
- My Favourite Subject Speaking about my favourite subject I must admit that I was privileged to study at a school where the English language was taught since the first form. It wasn’t a specialized English school, it was the school of fine-arts. Since the first days at school English has become my favourite subject. At the age of […]...
- English Has no Equals – Английский не имеет равных On the 5th of September 1977, the American spacecraft Voyager One blasted off on its historic mission to Jupiter and beyond. On board the scientists who knew that Voyager would one day spin through distant star systems had installed a recorded greeting from the people of the planet Earth. A brief message in fifty-five different […]...
- The South Takes a Cue from Oakland Everyone is familiar with the plan to teach Ebonics in such leftist enclaves as California and Massachusetts. “Ebonics,” a neologism created by combining “Ebony” and “phonics,” is supposed to be the language of the untermenschen, the urban underclass. Here in the South, we have a similar movement, called “Bubbonics!” Created from mixing “Bubba” and “phonics,” […]...
- English language Have you ever wondered why foreigners have trouble with the English Language? Let’s face it English is a stupid language. There is no egg in the eggplant No ham in the hamburger And neither pine nor apple in the pineapple. English muffins were not invented in England French fries were not invented in France. We […]...
- Standard English and Its Dialects Standard variety is the variety of a language which has the highest status in a community or nation and which is usually based on the speech and writing of educated native speakers of the language. A standard variety is generally used in the news, media and in literature; described in dictionaries and grammars; taught in […]...
- Holidays and Traditions in Russia and English-speaking Countries – Праздники и традиции в России и англоговорящих странах Holidays and Traditions in Russia and English-speaking Countries Every country has its national holidays, but there are also holidays that are common for many countries. New Year’s Day is the first holiday of each new year. In Russia it is the most popular holiday, but in Europe and America people pay more attention to Christmas. […]...
- The wife is not speaking to me One night, this guy come into a bar and asks the bartender for a drink. Then he asks for another. After a couple more drinks, the bartender gets worried. “What’s the matter?” the bartender asks. “My wife and I got into a fight,” explained the guy “and now she isn’t talking to me for a […]...
- The wife is not speaking to me 1 A construction worker walks into a bar. He’s a rather large, menacing guy. He orders a beer, chugs it back, and bellows, “All you guys on this side of the bar are a bunch of idiots!” A sudden silence descends. After a moment he asks “Anyone got a problem with that?” The silence lengthens. He […]...
- A blonde is speaking to her psychiatrist A blonde is speaking to her psychiatrist. “I’m on the road a lot, and my clients are complaining that they can never reach me.” Psychiatrist: “Don’t you have a phone in your car?” Blonde: “That was a little too expensive, so I did the next best thing. I put a mailbox in my car.” Psychiatrist: […]...
- The Night Before Christmas, Legally Speaking The Night Before Christmas, Legally Speaking: Whereas, on or about the night prior to Christmas, there did occur at a certain improved piece of real property (hereinafter “the House”) a general lack of stirring by all creatures therein, including, but not limited to, a mouse. A variety of foot apparel, e. g. stocking, socks, etc., […]...
- Moscow News Топик Московские новости рассказывает об истории создания и развития знаменитой газеты “Московские новости” на английском и русском языках, известную каждому изучающему английский язык. Из этой газеты можно узнать обо всем, что происходит в России, Москве, других странах мира. В газете много интересных рубрик и рекламы. “Moscow News” is a national weekly newspaper. The first issue […]...
- Перевод слова language Language – язык, речь Перевод слова Finger language – язык жестов, язык глухонемых articulate language – членораздельная речь literary language – литературный язык fine language – изысканный язык Don’t use bad Language. Не ругайтесь матом. They abandoned their native Language. Они перестали говорить на своем родном языке. Her Language is very slangy. Она часто переходит […]...
- English and Me В топике Английский и я – расскажу о том, какое место среди всех языков занимает английский язык: это самый важный язык в мире. По числу разговаривающих на нем, он уступает только китайскому. Но в мире политики, дипломатии и науки английский язык – первый. Даже в Индии и Пакистане этот язык считается вторым. Людей, изучающих английский […]...
- Foreign languages В топике Иностранные языки рассказывается, что в наше время каждый человек должен знать хотя бы один иностранный язык и чаще всего выбирают английский язык. Для улучшения навыков в изучении иностранного языка необходимо использовать каждую возможность: читать книги и газеты, смотреть фильмы с субтитрами, слушать английские песни, дополнительно заниматься с носителем языка и, по возможности, посетить […]...
- Learning foreign language Топик Изучение иностранного языка объясняет, что в наше время каждый образованный человек должен знать иностранный язык. И самый популярный язык во всем мире – английский. Это язык прогрессивной науки и техники, торговых и культурных связей, торговли и предпринимательства, язык международной авиации, судоходства и спорта и основной язык дипломатии. На втором месте в мире – китайский […]...
- News war Serbian official press agency claimed today that Serbian forces shot down two F-117 Planes and four Ballistic “smart” missiles. Pentagon denied the statement, saying that all of them had safely returned to NATO’s base....
- The way you are taught English Nowadays a lot of people all over the world learn English as the world language. There are many ways of learning a foreign language but most people begin learning it at school. So, what should we do to master a language. We must learn grammar in any language. Because we can’t build a house without […]...