Satirical site The Onion is now worth more than most of the real news outlets it mocks

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1. Fucking onion – boy, I need some onion – sorry, mam, we don’t have onion at the moment – I don’t care, I need some onion – but mam, we don’t have onion in the market right now – you don’t understand me, I need some onion – well, mam, lets check your english. How many letters […]...
2. Man buys $27 of bitcoin, forgets about them, finds they’re now worth $886k Bought in 2009, currency’s rise in value saw small investment turn into enough to buy an apartment in a wealthy area of Oslo The meteoric rise in bitcoin has meant that within the space of four years, one Norwegian man’s $27 investment turned into a forgotten $886,000 windfall. Kristoffer Koch invested 150 kroner ($26.60) in […]...
3. Reporting the News I have always wanted to be a News reporter. When I was about 10 years old, I would write my own news stories and Publish them in my own newspaper. In reality, the newspaper was just a piece of paper on which I’d written my stories and drew my pictures, but it was My first […]...
4. Пословица / поговорка no news is good news – перевод и значение, пример использования Пословица / поговорка: no news is good news Перевод: отсутствие вестей – хорошая весть Пример: Although the woman had not heard from her son for several weeks, she believed that no news is good news and she did not worry. Хотя женщина и не получала известий от своего сына несколько недель, она считала, что отсутствие […]...
5. Перевод слова site Site – место, местоположение, местонахождение Перевод слова The site of the coal industry – центр угольной промышленности the site of a battle – поле боя, место сражения the site of the fire – место пожара We have now finished coaling at the Site. Сейчас мы закончили добычу угля в этом месторождении. Be sure to visit […]...
6. Good news and bad news The McCartney kids are at the family ranch anxiously awaiting news of their mother. Paul emerges from his wife’s bedroom. “Kid’s……there’s good news and bad news.” “The bad news is your mother’s strength and will to live has been sucked away by her awful disease and she died a few moments ago” “The good news […]...
7. Liberal and Conservative News Bill: Why are you reading that Rag? Rachel: I enjoy reading it. I like its News coverage and its Incisive commentaries. Bill: That’s nothing but a Liberal propaganda rag. You can’t believe a thing they Print in there. Rachel: That’s not true. The news stories are Objective and Unbiased. This magazine isn’t like the newspapers […]...
8. Пословица / поговорка bad news travels fast / bad news has wings – перевод и значение, пример использования Пословица / поговорка: bad news travels fast / bad news has wings Перевод: плохая молва на крыльях летит Эквивалент в русском языке: худые вести не лежат на месте Пример: Bad news travels fast and the man heard about the job layoffs a week before the official announcement. Плохая молва на крыльях летит, и мужчина услышал […]...
9. Перевод слова news News – новости, хроника Перевод слова What’s the news? – что нового? here is an interesting piece of news – вот интересная новость latest news – последние известия We heard that item on the late News. Мы услышали об этом в последнем выпуске новостей. That is no News. Это уже всем известно Pass the News […]...
10. The bad news and the good news Harry answers the telephone, and it’s an Emergency Room doctor. The doctor says, “Your wife was in a serious car accident, and I have bad news and good news. The bad news is she has lost all use of both arms and both legs, and will need help eating and going to the bathroom for […]...
11. Construction Worker Hides Waldo On Site For Kids In Hospital Next Door One man is helping kids find a little joy. Jason Haney, a construction foreman, hides a life-size cutout he made of Where’s Waldo on site every day for kids who are staying at a hospital next door to find. “It’s just for the kids to get their minds off of things,”Haney told The Huffington Post. […]...
12. Visiting a Construction Site Bill: Ma’am! ma’am! Estelle: Yes? Bill: Ma’am, you’re not supposed to be here. This is a Construction site and you’re not allowed. Please don’t step on that Scaffolding. It’s dangerous. Estelle: Oh, I just wanted a quick look to see how the building is Coming along. Look at all this Lumber and Brick. The Foundation […]...
13. Reading and Watching the News I’m a news Junkie. I like to read two newspapers everyday. I don’t just look at the Headlines. I read most of the stories. I like the Political news, the Business news, the Editorials, and the Entertainment news. The only things I don’t usually read are the Sports pages and the Classifieds. I also try […]...
14. Visiting an Archaeological Site Lillian: Look at this! I’m going to take this home as a souvenir. Bruce: You can’t do that. That might be an Artifact of some kind. It belongs to this Archaeological site. Lillian: It’s just a rock. No one will miss it. Bruce: That’s not the point. Everything here should be Preserved. That’s the point […]...
15. An On-Site Estimate I work for a Building contractor and I spend most of my workday giving On-site estimates. I mainly go to people’s homes, discuss the work they want done, Inspect the site, and give them a Quote. Robert: You want to Expand your kitchen, is that right? Abigail: Yes, with our growing family, we need more […]...
16. Bad news and awful news One morning Bill Clinton wakes up. He looks out side, it had snowed during the night and everything was covered in snow. He looks down and sees something written in urine on the lawn it reads “I hope YoU GeT ImPeAcHeD”. Bill calls the FBI and says “Someone has written “I hope you get impeached” […]...
17. Good news Hiram answers the telephone, and it’s an emergency room doctor. The doctor says, “Your wife was in a serious car accident, and I have bad news and good news. The bad news is she has lost all use of both arms and both legs, and will be on a respirator the rest of her life.” […]...
18. Перевод слова investment Investment – инвестирование Перевод слова A bigtime investment banker – крупный инвестиционный банк to make an investment – инвестировать investment in oil stocks – вложение в акции нефтяных компаний That was a smart Investment. Это была разумная инвестиция. I’m shopping for a safe Investment. Я присматриваюсь, куда бы понадежнее поместить капитал An Investment that pays […]...
19. Перевод слова darling Darling – дорогой, любимый Перевод слова My darling son – мой любимый сын darling of fortune – баловень судьбы my darling – любимая You are such a Darling, John. Ты просто прелесть, Джон. What a Darling little house! Какой милый домик! Don’t worry, Darling, Daddy’s here. Не волнуйся, дорогая, папа здесь....
20. Значение идиомы bad news [bad news] {n.}, {slang} An event, thing, or person which is disagreeable or an unpleasant surprise. What’s the new professor like? – He’s all bad news to me....
21. A site foreman had ten very lazy men working for him A site foreman had ten very lazy men working for him, so one day he decided to trick them into doing some work for a change. “I’ve got a really easy job today for the laziest one among you,” he announced. “Will the laziest man please put his hand up.” Nine hands went up. “Why […]...
22. The Keurig K-Cup’s inventor says that he feels bad that he made it – here’s why Keurig Green Mountain made $4.7 billion in revenue last year. Much of that money came thanks to K-Cups, the coffee-in-a-pod system invented by cofounder John Sylvan. He knew he had a hit on his hands when he was figuring out the pod mechanism back in the ’90s. “It’s like a cigarette for coffee, a single-serve […]...
23. Перевод слова media Media – СМИ Перевод слова Media king – медиа-магнат local media – местные средства массовой информации the power of the media – власть средств массовой информации media advisory – оповещение через СМИ The Media were present in large numbers. Журналисты присутствовали в большом количестве. The Media are engaging in sensationalism. СМИ заняты погоней за сенсациями. […]...
24. Перевод сленгового выражения bad news, значение и пример использования Сленговое выражение: bad news Перевод: что-либо или кто-либо, доставляющий неприятности, трудности, хлопоты Пример: He’s bad news, you shouldn’t hang around with him. От него много неприятностей, не стоит с ним водиться....
25. Real-world doctors fact-check Dr. Oz, and the results aren’t pretty Dr. Mehmet Oz and his daily talk show come under fire from Canadian researchers, who say only one-third of the recommendations made on the program can be supported by medical evidence. What do real-world doctors have to say about the advice dispensed on “The Dr. Oz Show”? Less than one-third of it can be backed […]...
26. In 3 Days Elon Musk’s Tesla Motors & SpaceX Went From Potential Bankruptcy to $1.8 Billion. Risk Is Worth It Elon Musk is the man behind some of the most innovative companies we know today: PayPal, Tesla, SpaceX, and Solar City. In a recent “60 Minutes” interview Musk gave great insight into his mindset and hardships. His story teaches us a lot about being willing to risk everything for something we believe in. Musk is […]...
27. Giving Bad News and Condolences I was at the hospital at with my friend, Wendy. Her father was in an accident and she was waiting to talk to the doctor. Doctor: Hello, I’m Dr. Johnson. How are you holding up? Wendy: Oh, I’m fine. Is there any news? Doctor: Yes. I have examined your father’s Test results and I’m afraid […]...
28. Перевод идиомы break the news (to someone), значение выражения и пример использования Идиома: break the news (to someone) Перевод: сообщать кому-либо какие-либо новости, известия Пример: He is planning to break the news about his transfer tomorrow. Он собирается рассказать о своем переводе завтра....
29. Speaking of spelling, here is a news bulletin Speaking of spelling, here’s a news bulletin…….. The European Commission has just announced an agreement whereby English will be the official language of the EU rather than German, which was the other possibility. As part of the negotiations, Her Majesty’s Government conceded that English spelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a 5-year […]...
30. Значение идиомы in print [in print] {adj. phr.} Obtainable in printed form from a printer orpublisher; printed. The author has finished writing his book but itis not yet in print. The story of the students’ trip to Washingtonappeared in print in the newspaper. It is a very old book and nolonger in print. Contrast: OUT OF PRINT....
31. Moscow News Топик Московские новости рассказывает об истории создания и развития знаменитой газеты “Московские новости” на английском и русском языках, известную каждому изучающему английский язык. Из этой газеты можно узнать обо всем, что происходит в России, Москве, других странах мира. В газете много интересных рубрик и рекламы. “Moscow News” is a national weekly newspaper. The first issue […]...
32. Sweden Blood Bank Texts Donors To Notify Them Whenever Their Blood Helps Save A Life Though technology may seem like a lifeline for many people today, for Sweden’s blood bank, it is exactly that. Sweden’s blood service notifies donors via text message whenever their blood is used, The Independent reports. The initiative aims to raise awareness for the need for blood donation, which has recently been on the decline. “We […]...
33. Government Reactions to Protests Tom: Have you seen the news? Marianne: No, what’s happening? Tom: People in McQuillanland are Rising up against the Dictator and Rallying against his government. Marianne: Wow, this is big. I thought the dictator would order a Media blackout and we wouldn’t hear any news out of McQuillanland. Tom: There is a media blackout, but […]...
34. Here’s How Much Walmart Loses Every Year to Theft Walmart is fighting back against “unknown shrinkage”. When you’re a company as big as Walmart, everything about you is huge, even your losses from shoplifting. The retailing giant says that it loses about $3 billion every year from theft, or 1% of its $300 billion in revenue, Reuters reports. Leading the effort to fight back […]...
35. On their wedding night the husband was so self On their wedding night the husband was so self – conscious about the smallness of his penis that before undressing, he snapped off the light. Once he was in bed, he unzipped his pants and handed his member to his bride. “That’s thoughtful, darling,” she cooed, “but we’ll need the light if you want to […]...
36. The real treasure An 8 year old boy walks home from school each day past an 8 year old girls house. One day as he is passing by, carrying a football, he can’t resist taunting the girl. He holds up the football and says, “See this football? Football is a boys game, and only boys can have a […]...
37. Watching the TV News Anchor: Good evening. I’m Gary Singh and this is the evening news. Tonight, we’ll have a Special report from our Field reporter, Monique Sanders, on the Latest developments In the Eddie Litton court case. And in our Feature segment, we’ll go to Arizona To interview the world’s fattest dog, weighing 210 pounds! We’ll also have […]...
38. Experts: Ansel Adams photos found at garage sale worth $200 million Los Angeles, California (CNN) – Rick Norsigian kept two boxes he bought at a garage sale under his pool table for four years before realizing they may be too valuable to store at home. The Fresno, California, commercial painter learned this week that what was in those boxes he paid $45 dollars for a decade […]...
39. Перевод слова worth Worth – значение, ценность, стоимость Перевод слова To be of no worth – не иметь никакой ценности, быть никуда не годным a man of worth – достойный человек not worth a stiver – гроша не стоит This play is Worth seeing. Эту пьесу стоит посмотреть. He is Worth over a million. Его состояние больше миллиона. […]...
40. Перевод слова print Print – отпечаток, печатать Перевод слова Print of a foot upon the sand – след ноги на песке sorrow’s print upon his face – следы горя на его лице the book is now printing – книга печатается to get into print – появиться в печати It is their job to Print the truth. Печатать правду […]...