Главная ⇒ 📌Jokes ⇒ Sleeping on the job

Sleeping on the job

Things To Say If You Get Caught Sleeping At Your Desk

15. «They told me at the blood bank this might happen.»

14. «This is just a 15 minute power-nap like they raved about in the last time management course you sent me to.»

13. «Whew! Guess I left the top off the liquid paper»

12. «I wasn’t sleeping! I was meditating on the mission statement and envisioning a new paradigm!»

11. «This is one of the seven habits of highly effective people!»

10. «I was testing the keyboard for drool resistance»

9. «Actually I’m doing a «Stress Level Elimination Exercise Plan» (SLEEP) I learned it at the last mandatory seminar you made me attend.

8. «I was doing a highly specific Yoga exercise to relieve work related stress.»

7. «Darn! Why did you interrupt me? I had almost figured out a solution to our biggest problem.»

6. «The coffee machine is broken….»

5. «Someone must’ve put decaf in the wrong pot.»

4. «Boy, that cold medicine I took last night just won’t wear off!»

3. «Ah, the unique and unpredictable circadian rhythms of the workaholic!»

2. «I wasn’t sleeping, I was trying to pick up contact lens without hands.»

AND THE #1 BEST THING TO SAY IF YOU GET CAUGHT SLEEPING AT YOUR DESK:

«Amen»



Guy fawkes night перевод.
Глаголы на кухне на английском.

Related topics:

  1. Sleeping Beauty, Tom Thumb and Don Juan were having a terrible fightSleeping Beauty, Tom Thumb and Don Juan were having a terrible fight. «I am the most beautiful person in the world,» proclaimed Sleeping Beauty. «No, you’re not,» answered Don Juan and Tom Thumb. «I am the smallest person in the world,» shouted Tom Thumb. «No, you’re not,» said Sleeping Beauty and Don Juan. «I’ve had ... Читать далее...
  2. Пословица / поговорка let sleeping dogs lie — перевод и значение, пример использованияПословица / поговорка: let sleeping dogs lie Перевод: спящего пса не буди Эквивалент в русском языке: не буди лиха, пока лихо спит Пример: «You should let sleeping dogs lie and not ask your friend for the money that he owes you.» Не стоит будить спящего пса, и не нужно просить у своего друга денег, которые ... Читать далее...
  3. An accountant is having a hard time sleepingAn accountant is having a hard time sleeping and goes to see his doctor. «Doctor, I just can’t get to sleep at night.» «Have you tried counting sheep?» «That’s the problem — I make a mistake and then spend three hours trying to find it.»...
  4. Перевод слова managementManagement — управление, менеджмент Перевод слова Dexterous in the management — опытный в управлении factory management — дирекция завода household management — домоводство Many companies go bankrupt due to bad Management. Многие компании разоряются из-за непрофессионального управления. The Management are aware of the problem. Администрации известно об этой проблеме. All senior Management were told to ... Читать далее...
  5. Значение идиомы let sleeping dogs lie[let sleeping dogs lie] Do not make angry and causetrouble or danger; do not make trouble if you do not have to. — Aproverb. Don’t tell Father that you broke the window. Let sleepingdogs lie....
  6. Forming a UnionNorma: What is this? Jimmy: It’s a Flyer for a meeting I’ve called to talk about forming a Labor union here. Norma: Here? Do you think the Management will let us? Jimmy: They can’t stop us. We’re working longer and longer hours and we need To demand higher pay. We also need better Work conditions ... Читать далее...
  7. Scared sleepingShakey went to a psychiatrist. «Doc,» he said, «I’ve got trouble. Every time I get into bed, I think there’s somebody under it. I get under the bed, I think there’s somebody on top of it. Top, under, top, under. «you gotta help me, I’m going crazy!» «Just put yourself in my hands for two ... Читать далее...
  8. Перевод слова stressStress — давление, нажим; ударение; стресс Перевод слова Times of stress — тяжелые времена the stress of war — тяготы войны the stress falls upon… — ударение падает на… under stress — в условиях стресса What’s the best way to relieve Stress? Какой лучший способ снять стресс? He put the Stress on the wrong syllable. ... Читать далее...
  9. Having Trouble SleepingLuis: So, how are the Newlyweds doing? Stevie: Oh, we’re great. I’m just a little tired. Luis: Well, that Goes with the territory, right? Stevie: No, that’s not what I mean. Patrick has been keeping me up with his Snoring. Luis: Oh, that’s a Bummer. Stevie: Yeah, it really is. I’m usually Awakened soon after ... Читать далее...
  10. Значение идиомы blood[blood] See: DRAW BLOOD, FLESH AND BLOOD, IN COLD BLOOD, IN ONE’S BLOOD or INTO ONE’S BLOOD, MAKE ONE’S BLOOD BOIL or MAKE THE BLOOD BOIL, NEW BLOOD, OUT OF ONE’S BLOOD, RUN IN THE BLOOD or RUN IN THE FAMILY, SPORTING BLOOD, SWEAT BLOOD, WARM ONE’S BLOOD....
  11. George Costanza’s Tips for Working Hard IIIMessy desk. Top management can get away with a clean desk. For the rest of us, it looks like you’re not working hard enough. Build huge piles of documents around your workspace. To the observer, last year’s work looks the same as today’s work; it’s volume that counts. Pile them high and wide. If you ... Читать далее...
  12. Значение идиомы in cold blood[in cold blood] {adv. phr.} Without feeling or pity; in a purposelycruel way; coolly and deliberately. The bank robbers planned toshoot in cold blood anyone who got in their way. The banditsplanned to murder in cold blood all farmers in the village by theriver....
  13. Значение идиомы new blood[new blood] {n.} Something or someone that gives new life or vigor, fresh energy or power. New blood was brought into the companythrough appointment of younger men to important positions....
  14. Reasons to allow drinking at workThe below are valid reasons as to why drinking should be allowed at work. If you use them wisely, you may even be able to convince your boss into allowing alcohol. 1. It’s an incentive to show up. 2. It reduces stress. 3. It leads to more honest communications. 4. It reduces complaints about low ... Читать далее...
  15. Значение идиомы in one’s blood[in one’s blood] or [into one’s blood] {adv. phr.} Agreeingperfectly with one’s sympathies, feelings, and desires. Living in awarm section of the country gets in your blood. The woods got intoJim’s blood. Contrast: OUT OF ONE’S BLOOD....
  16. When the staff goes out after work, they talk aboutWhen the staff goes out after work, they talk about football or basketball. When Middle management gets together, they talk about tennis or baseball. Top management discusses golf. Conclusion: The higher up you are in management, the smaller your balls are....
  17. The Story of the BatsTwo vampire bats wake up in the middle of the night, thirsty for blood. One says, «Let’s fly out of the cave and get some blood.» «We’re new here,» says the second one. «It’s dark out, and we don’t know where to look. We’d better wait until the other bats go with us.» The first ... Читать далее...
  18. I’m at the wrong bankLetterman’s Top Ten Signs You’re Doing Business With The Wrong Bank 10. When you make a deposit, tellers high-five each other. 9. After you get a free toaster, bank president shows up at your house begging for toast. 8. Your monthly statements are handwritten, in crayon. 7. When you want to make a withdrawal, clerks ... Читать далее...
  19. Перевод слова minuteMinute — минута; мелкий Перевод слова Minute hand — минутная стрелка in a minute — скоро, прямо сейчас to measure very minute changes of temperature — измерять малейшие изменения температуры minute particles of dust — мельчайшие частицы пыли I’ll be back in a Minute. Я вернусь через минуту. Hey, wait a Minute! Эй, подождите минутку! ... Читать далее...
  20. Bad Japanese economyAccording to inside contacts, the Japanese banking crisis shows no signs of ameliorating. If anything, it’s getting worse. Following last week’s news that Origami Bank had folded, we are hearing that Sumo Bank has gone belly up, and Bonsai Bank plans to cut back some of its branches. Karaoke Bank is up for sale, and ... Читать далее...
  21. Перевод слова deskDesk — письменный стол, парта; стойка, касса Перевод слова Writing desk — письменный стол to clear one’s desk — навести порядок на своем столе front desk — конторка портье, консьержа He parked behind a Desk. Он устроился за партой. His Desk is always messy. У него на письменном столе всегда беспорядок. No one was manning ... Читать далее...
  22. Перевод слова bloodBlood — кровь Перевод слова Blood loss — потеря крови fresh blood — новая кровь в семье the ties of blood — узы крови It made my Blood freeze. У меня от этого кровь стыла в жилах. The sharks will smell Blood. Акулы учуют запах крови. He was weak with loss of Blood. Он ослабел ... Читать далее...
  23. Значение идиомы blood runs cold[blood runs cold] also [blood freezes] or [blood turns to ice] You are chilled or shivering from great fright or horror; you are terrified or horrified. — Usually used with a possessive. The horror movie made the children’s blood run cold. Mary’s blood froze when she had to walk through the cemetery at night. Oscar’s ... Читать далее...
  24. To Forgive and ForgetLuc: You’ll never guess who called and left a Voicemail message today. Angela: Who? Luc: Barbara! Angela: Oh, really? What did she want? Luc: She said she was calling to RSVP for our party this Saturday. Angela: Did she? Luc: Stop Playing innocent with me. Did you or did you not invite her to our ... Читать далее...
  25. Fair businessHere’s one about the old native American who wanted a loan for $500. The banker pulled out the loan application, «What are you going to do with the money?» «Take jewlery to city and sell it,» was the response. «What have you got for collateral?» «Don’t know collateral.» «Well that’s something of value that would ... Читать далее...
  26. Значение идиомы out of one’s blood[out of one’s blood] {adv. phr.} Separate from one’s feelings, interests, or desires. When Tom moved to the city, he couldn’t getthe country out of his blood. Mary is having a hard job gettingsummer laziness out of her blood. Contrast: IN ONE’S BLOOD....
  27. Fixing an ailmentIn Ireland there is a mental institution that every year picks two of it’s most reformed patients and questions them. If they get the questions right they are free to leave. This year the two lucky patients were Patty and Mike. They were called down to the office and left there by the orderly. They ... Читать далее...
  28. Значение идиомы catch up[catch up] {v.} 1. To take or pick up suddenly; grab. She caught up the book from the table and ran out of the room. 2. To capture or trap in a situation; concern or interest very much. — Usually used in the passive with «in». The Smith family was caught up in the war ... Читать далее...
  29. A blonde walked into a doctor’s office with a hole in her handA blonde walked into a doctor’s office with a hole in her hand. The doctor told her that he had to report all gunshot wounds, and this was an obvious gunshot wound, so would she please explain how it happened? The blonde said, «Well, to be honest with you, I was trying to commit suicide, ... Читать далее...
  30. Перевод слова bankBank — банк Перевод слова Bank borrowings — займы, получаемые в банке counterfeit bank-note — фальшивый банкнот to deposit money in a bank — внести деньги в банк My Bank balance isn’t good. Состояние моего банковского счета оставляет желать лучшего. The Bank bounced the cheque. Банк вернул чек. Our Bank merged with theirs. Наш банк ... Читать далее...
  31. Перевод слова exerciseExercise — упражнение, тренировка; упражнять, развивать Перевод слова The will can be exercised — волю можно развить five-finger exercises — фортепьянные упражнения you do not take enough exercise — вы мало двигаетесь Exercise is a must. Делать упражнения необходимо. It’s a pointless Exercise. Это бессмысленное занятие. She Exercises two or three times a week. Она ... Читать далее...
  32. HOT STEAMNew secretary (second day on the job) answers telephone as is told in official tones: «This is the phone company. We are testing a new circuit wiring scheme in your offices. Please keep everyone off the phones for the next 10 minutes. We will be verifying the correct wiring of your system by passing HOT ... Читать далее...
  33. Chain Letter Type IIIHi there!! This chain letter has been in existence since 1897. This is absolutely incredible because there was no email then and probably not as many little 8 year olds writing chain letters. So this is how it works. Pass this on to 15,067 people in the next 7 minutes or something horrible will happen ... Читать далее...
  34. The Causes of Heart DiseasHeart disease affects so many people that it has become a serious concern for medical science. The heart is a complex organ that is vulnerable to hereditary as well as environmental risks. Scientists identified a number of risk factors associated with heart disease. They grouped these risk factors into major and minor causes. Major causes ... Читать далее...
  35. Showing Disapproval and SympathyMaggie: Why the Long face? Joe: I just heard that I won’t be rehired for next year. Maggie: That’s awful! What a rotten thing for the management to do. Joe: I’ll be okay, but Monica is losing her job, too. Maggie: Oh no, not Monica, too. I’m So sorry to hear that. Who do they ... Читать далее...
  36. Перевод слова powerPower — сила, мощь, энергия, мощность; власть, могущество Перевод слова The power of a blow — сила удара the power of the law — сила закона separation of powers — разделение властей electric power — электроэнергия Power to the people! Власть народу! She had me in her Power. Я был в ее власти. He was ... Читать далее...
  37. The Necessity of StressThe Biosphere 2 project was created as a research tool for scientists to study Earth’s living systems, and it allowed scientists to play with farming and innovation in a way that didn’t harm the planet. One of the most profound discoveries made by the scientists had nothing to do with a cure for some new ... Читать далее...
  38. Sweden Blood Bank Texts Donors To Notify Them Whenever Their Blood Helps Save A LifeThough technology may seem like a lifeline for many people today, for Sweden’s blood bank, it is exactly that. Sweden’s blood service notifies donors via text message whenever their blood is used, The Independent reports. The initiative aims to raise awareness for the need for blood donation, which has recently been on the decline. «We ... Читать далее...
  39. Dealing with Unhappy EmployeesAsa: I don’t know how we Got stuck with reviewing employee Complaints. This has got to be the worst job ever! Samantha: This is important work and somebody has to do it. Come on, let’s get started. Asa: I think it’s bad for Morale to allow employees to file complaints. We’re all Overworked and Underpaid, ... Читать далее...
  40. A policeman pulls over a driver for swerving in and outA policeman pulls over a driver for swerving in and out of lanes on the highway. He tells the guy to blow a breath into a breathalyzer. «I can’t do that, officer.» «Why not?» «Because I’m an asthmatic. I could get an asthma attack if I blow into that tube.» «Okay, we’ll just get a ... Читать далее...

Sleeping on the job