Set up hidden cameras

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1. Getting a new deputy The local sheriff was looking for a deputy, so Gomer – who was not exactly the sharpest nail in the bucket went in to try out for the job. “Okay,” the sheriff drawled, “Gomer, what is 1 and 1?” “11” he replied. The sheriff thought to himself, “That’s not what I meant, but he’s right.” […]...
2. Landing at a hidden military base You’ve all heard of the Air Force’s ultra-high-security, super-secret base in Nevada, known simply as “Area 51?” Well, late one afternoon, the Air Force folks out at Area 51 were very surprised to see a Cessna landing at their “secret” base. They immediately impounded the aircraft and hauled the pilot into an interrogation room. The […]...
3. This dog loves people The following is supposedly a true story. To be included, besides being true, the story is most likely strange, weird, surprising, or funny. A normally sweet Great Dane Psil has one quirk: she hates United Parcel Service drivers. While walk Psil one day, around the corner of a house came a UPS man. Struggling to […]...
4. Working With The FBI The phone rings at FBI headquarters. “Hello?” “Hello, is this the FBI?” “Yes. What do you want?” “I’m calling to report my neighbor Adrian Thibodeaux! He is hiding marijuana inside his firewood.” “Thank you very much for the call, sir.” The next day, the FBI agents descend on Thibodeaux’s house. They search the shed where […]...
5. Перевод слова tape Tape – лента, записывать на ленту (магнитофона) Перевод слова Tape duplication – копирование ленты electrical insulating tape – электрическая изоляционная лента perforated tape – перфолента to tape a telephone conversation – записать телефонный разговор His ankle had been Taped. Его лодыжка была забинтована. The show was recorded on Tape. Шоу было записано на пленку. I […]...
6. ‘Twas the Night After Christmas ‘Twas the night after Christmas and all through the trailer, the beer had gone flat and the pizza was staler. The tube socks hung empty, no candies or toys and I was camped out on my old Lay-Z-Boy. The kids they weren’t talking to me or my wife, the worst Christmas they said they had […]...
7. Ordering fast food The following is supposedly a true story. To be included, besides being true, the story is most likely strange, weird, surprising, or funny. One night, a few co-workers at the computer data centre where I work stayed late and we all started to get hungry. We decided to order in food by phone, but our […]...
8. VIP Louis Armstrong Louis Armstrong asked Richard Nixon to carry his bags through customs for him because he’was an old man’. The bags had marijuana in them. Louis Armstrong was first turned onto marijuana in the mid-1920s, and he smoked it all his life, including before performances and recordings. Armstrong was arrested in November 1930 while smoking marijuana […]...
9. Robin Hood В топике Робин Гуд я хочу рассказать о популярном герое средневековых английских народных баллад, благородном предводителе лесных разбойников. По преданию, он действовал со своей шайкой в Шервудском лесу около Ноттингема – грабил богатых, отдавая добытое беднякам. Особенно понравился рассказ о золотой стреле, завоеванной Робин Гудом в состязании лучников, которое устроил хитрый шериф Ноттингема, чтобы заманить […]...
10. Two story house A man appears before a judge one day, asking for a divorce. The judge quietly reviews some papers and then says, “Please tell me why you are seeking a divorce.” “Because,” the man says,”I live in a two-story house.” The Judge replies, “What kind of a reason is that? What is the big deal about […]...
11. Find out about the cat The following is supposedly a true story. To be included, besides being true, the story is most likely strange, weird, surprising, or funny. A chauffeur worked for a woman who took her cat with her on rides. During one trip, the driver droped her at a mall before he gasing up. The cat remained in […]...
12. Перевод слова story Story – рассказ, повесть, сюжет Перевод слова Short story – рассказ, новелла funny story – анекдот the main thing in a novel is the story – самое главное в романе – это сюжет His Story rings true. Его рассказ звучит правдоподобно. He told us the Story. Он рассказал нам эту историю. I accredited his Story. […]...
13. Problems during flight The following is supposedly a true story. To be included, besides being true, the story is most likely strange, weird, surprising, or funny. On a recent flight, an elderly passenger kept peering out the window. Since it was totally dark, all she could see was the blinking wing-tip light. Finally, she rang for the flight […]...
14. Значение идиомы friction tape [friction tape] {n.} Black cloth tape with one sticky side usedaround electric wires. The boy fixed his cracked baseball bat withsome friction tape....
15. There was a farmer, sitting on the front porch of his house There was a farmer, sitting on the front porch of his house this one hot summer day, when this kid comes walking down the road carrying a big bundle of wire. “Hey kid!” the farmer says. “Where ya goin’ with that wire?” “Well,” the kid drawls, “this here ain’t just any ol’ wire, this here’s […]...
16. Newspaper typing error The following is supposedly a true story. To be included, besides being true, the story is most likely strange, weird, surprising, or funny. The following appeared on the back page of one of Australia’s more outrageous computer publications, “Computing Australia”, 21st Sept 1987: … Blame it on the computer. An unfriendly computer has been held […]...
17. Choking a girlfriend The following is supposedly a true story. To be included, besides being true, the story is most likely strange, weird, surprising, or funny. Sunday, November 29, 1992 The Ontario Press Council dismissed a complaint filed by Allan Sorensen against the Toronto Sun, which had reported that Sorenson had choked his ex-girlfriend. Sorensen’s complaint was that […]...
18. Фразовый глагол break into (1) – перевод и значение, пример использования Фразовый глагол: break into (1) Перевод: вламываться, врываться, незаконно проникать Пример: Burglars broke into the house around midnight. Грабители проникли в дом около полуночи....
19. Appear on television The following is supposedly a true story. To be included, besides being true, the story is most likely strange, weird, surprising, or funny. Wednesday, October 21, 1992 In July, Danny Fouts and his wife and her sister, in New York City to appear on the “Sally Jessy Raphael” show to discuss their arrest for shoplifting […]...
20. Значение идиомы masking tape [masking tape] {n.} A paper tape that is stuck around the edges ofa surface being painted to keep the paint off the surface next to it. The painters put masking tape around the window frames to keep thepaint off the glass....
21. Insulting to women The following is supposedly a true story. To be included, besides being true, the story is most likely strange, weird, surprising, or funny. Bangkok, Thailand A member of the ruling junta who oversees Thai Airways International has ordered the carrier to hire more-attractive stewardesses. “We have received a lot of complaints that our air hostesses […]...
22. Battles on the sea The following is supposedly a true story relating to a United States shipping company. THE U. S. shipping company had a new ship built. It was to be the pride of the fleet, and something special was wanted to decorate the captain’s saloon, a large living room/office where the vessel’s business and entertaining would take […]...
23. The ‘Good Will Hunting’ Script’s Hidden Secret Penned by a couple of then-relatively unknown writers and produced with a modest budget, Good Will Hunting proved to be a surprising success at the box office. It also garnered several Oscar nominations, with the late Robin Williams picking up the prize for Best Supporting Actor. Also taking home Oscar gold for the movie were […]...
24. Значение идиомы stash bag [stash bag] or [stuff bag] {n.}, {slang}, {informal} 1. A small bagcontaining marijuana cigarettes or the ingredients for making them. The police are holding John because they found a stash bag full ofthe stuff on him. 2. Any small bag resembling a stash bag used forsmall personal items such as lipstick, driver’s license, etc. Doyou […]...
25. Annoying phone calls The following is supposedly a true story. To be included, besides being true, the story is most likely strange, weird, surprising, or funny. A co-worker of mine fielded phone calls from his Alumni Association every three months for about five years, ostensibly checking to see that his records were up to date, and coincidentally asking […]...
26. The evils of marijuana A certain college professor was notorious for getting off the topic of the lecture, and on to his favorite subject: the evils of marijuana. Off he went one day into his inventory of horrors, “Used regularly,” he explained, “pot can cause psychic disorientation, sterility, cancer and castration!” “Now wait a minute, professor,” interrupted a student. […]...
27. Beware of drunken bears The following is supposedly a true story. To be included, besides being true, the story is most likely strange, weird, surprising, or funny. LOS ANGELES TIMES, October 8: People of northwestern Montana have been advised to be on the lookout for drunken bears. Black bears and grizzlies have been congregating along the tracks of the […]...
28. Age difference What is the difference between girls aged: 8, 18, 28, 38, 48, 58 and 68? At 8 – You take her to bed and tell her a story. At 18 – You tell her a story and take her to bed. At 28 – You don’t need to tell her a story to take her […]...
29. Photographer works There was this haunted house on the outskirts of the town which was avoided by all the townfolk – the ghost which ‘lived’ there was feared by all. However, an enterprising journalist decided to get the scoop of the day by photographing the fearsome phantom. When he entered the house, armed with only his camera, […]...
30. Перевод слова true True – верно, правильный, правдивый, истина Перевод слова True story – правдивая история true friend – верный друг out of true – плохо установленный; неточный Can it be True? Неужели это правда? I affirm that it is True. Я подтверждаю, что это правда. “It will be difficult.”This is True.” – Это будет трудно. – Это […]...
31. Значение идиомы red tape [red tape] {n. phr.} Unnecessary bureaucratic routine; needless butofficial delays. If you want to get anything accomplished in ahurry, you have to find someone in power who can cut through all thatred tape....
32. Days after Christmas The first day after Christmas My true love and I had a fight And so I chopped the pear tree down And burnt it, just for spite Then with a single cartridge I shot that blasted partridge My true love, my true love, my true love gave to me. The second day after Christmas I […]...
33. Значение идиомы ring true [ring true] {v. phr.} To have a tone of genuineness; soundconvincing. I believed his sob story about how he lost his fortune, because somehow it all rang true....
34. Значение идиомы write up [write up] {v.} 1. To write the story of; describe in writing; givea full account of. Reporters from many newspapers are here to writeup the game. The magazine is writing up the life of thePresident. 2. To put something thought or talked about into writing;finish writing. John took notes of what the teachersaid in class […]...
35. Значение идиомы turn out [turn out] {v.} 1. To make leave or go away. His father turnedhim out of the house. If you don’t behave, you will be turnedout. Compare: THROW OUT. 2. To turn inside out; empty. He turnedout his pockets looking for the money. Robbers turned out all thedrawers in the house in a search for jewels. […]...
36. Funny Humor about the Irish This is a true story of the late Irish author Brendan Behan who one night collapsed in a diabetic coma in a Dublin street. It was at a time when he was at the height of his drunken notoriety and passes-by naturally thought he was dead drunk. They took him to the nearby surgery of […]...
37. Bull free in Tokoyo The following is supposedly a true story. To be included, besides being true, the story is most likely strange, weird, surprising, or funny. Tokyo, Japan: A bull bound for slaughter gave its handlers the slip Wednesday and escaped into Tokyo’s teeming streets. The 1,300-pound bull, shipped in from southern Japan, thundered down the gangplank as […]...
38. Arizona Man Trades $160K Diamond for $20 Weed, Cops Say An Arizona man could have gotten himself one of the fanciest cars on the road and had money left over with what a diamond he allegedly stole was worth, but instead police say he traded the $160,000 gem for $20 worth of marijuana. Walter Earl Morrison, 20, of Phoenix, Az., was charged with felony theft […]...
39. Drinking and driving The following is supposedly a true story. To be included, besides being true, the story is most likely strange, weird, surprising, or funny. The “Environmental Engineering News” published some rather sobering information about punishment for drunk driving convictions in other countries. In Australia, the names of drunk drivers are printed in newspapers under the caption, […]...
40. Clinton is in Heaven President Clinton died and knocked at the Pearly Gates. “Who goes there?” inquired St. Peter. “It’s me, Bill Clinton”. “What bad things did you do on earth?” Clinton thought a bit and answered, “Well, I smoked marijuana, but you shouldn’t hold that against me because I didn’t inhale. And I lied, but I didn’t commit […]...