Seems this elderly couple went to the clinic

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1. Перевод слова clinicClinic — поликлиника, лечебница Перевод слова Diabetic clinic — клиника для больных диабетом fracture clinic — травмопункт dental clinic — стоматологическая клиника He was detoxified in the Clinic. Он проходил детоксикацию в клинике. The Clinic rehabilitates drug addicts. Клиника осуществляет реабилитацию наркоманов. The Clinic provides free care for indigent patients. Клиника предоставляет бесплатную помощь для ... Читать далее...
2. An elderly couple, still very loving after all these yearsAn elderly couple, still very loving after all these years, is shocked when the woman’s doctor says she has a heart condition that could kill her at any time. She is to avoid stress, eat right, and never, ever have sex again — the strain would be too much. The couple reluctantly try to live ... Читать далее...
3. An elderly couple walk into a doctor officeAn elderly couple walk into a doctor’s office. The man tells the doctor, «Doctor, we want to have a baby.» The doctor replies,»At your age I don’t think it’s possible, but I’ll give you a jar, come back in a few days with a sperm sample.» So the couple comes back a few days later. ... Читать далее...
4. An elderly couple in a senior homeAn elderly couple in a senior’s home used to visit the recreation room everyday. While there, the old lady would sit quite contently holding the old guys’s penis. One day she goes down to the rec. room and is mortified to find her man with another women holding his penis. «What’s she got that I ... Читать далее...
5. An elderly couple, living apartAn elderly couple, living apart, had been dating for several years. One day Elmer said to Betsy, «We should stop this nonsense. We are paying two rents, two car insurance payments, buying separate food and cooking separate meals. We should just move in together. Betsy: Whose house would we live in? Elmer: Mine, it is ... Читать далее...
6. This fundamentalist Christian couple felt it important toThis fundamentalist Christian couple felt it important to own an equally fundamentally Christian pet. So, they went shopping. At a kennel specializing in this particular breed, they found a dog they liked quite a lot. When they asked the dog to fetch the Bible, he did it in a flash. When they instructed him to ... Читать далее...
7. What a Woman Really NeedsA couple was having some trouble, so they did the right thing and went to a marriage counselor. After a few visits, and a lot of questioning and listening, the counselor said that he had discovered the main problem. He stood up, went over to the woman, asked her to stand, and gave her a ... Читать далее...
8. A couple, age 67, went to the doctors officeA couple, age 67, went to the doctor’s office. The doctor asked, «What can I do for you?» The man said, «Will you watch us have sexual intercourse?» The doctor looked puzzled, but agreed. When the couple finished, the doctor said, «There is nothing wrong with the way you have intercourse.» And he then charged ... Читать далее...
9. An elderly woman entered a large furniture storeAn elderly woman entered a large furniture store and was greeted by a much younger salesman. «Is there something in particular I can show you?» he asked. «Yes, I want to buy a sexual sofa.» «You mean a sectional sofa,» he suggested. «Sectional schmectional.» she bitterly retorted. «All I want is an occasional piece in ... Читать далее...
10. SufferingA young couple on the brink of divorce visit a marriage counselor. The counselor asks the wife about the problem. She responds, «My husband suffers from premature ejaculation.» The counselor turns to her husband and inquires «Is that true?» The husband replies «Well not exactly, she’s the one that suffers, not me.»...
11. Перевод слова coupleCouple — пара, два, двое Перевод слова A couple of apples — два яблока in a couple of days — через два-три дня loving couple — любящая пара «Are they a Couple?»No, they are just good friends.» «Они пара?»Нет, они просто хорошие друзья.» They’re an odd Couple. Они странная парочка. We spent a Couple of ... Читать далее...
12. A couple of geezers were sittingA couple of geezers were sitting on a bench outside the nursing home, having a little chat. «How are you, Tom?» asked Marvin. «I’m not feeling well today — utterly exhausted,» Tom replied. «I pulled a muscle and it’s killing me.» «That pulled muscle shouldn’t make you so tired, though.» «Well, it does if you ... Читать далее...
13. This elderly woman passed a police van loading up the girlsThis elderly woman passed a police van loading up the girls from a local brothel, and as she passed by, she asked one girl what the lineup was for. the girl shrugged and said, jokingly, «cough drops» and snickered. Just then the cop approached the old gal and said, «What are you doing here, m’am?» ... Читать далее...
14. After a couple of years a couple wanted to have childrenAfter a couple of years a couple wanted to have children, but nothing worked. So they went to a doctor, and got checked over. The doctor took time to reassure them. «Don’t worry,» he said, «Just take this sample bottle home and do the necessary, and bring it back tomorrow.» So he went home feeling ... Читать далее...
15. An elderly patient needed a heart transplantAn elderly patient needed a heart transplant and discussed his options with his doctor. The doctor said, «We have 3 possible donors; the 1st is a young, healthy athlete who died in an automobile accident, the 2nd is a middle-aged businessman who never drank or smoked and who died flying his private jet. The 3rd ... Читать далее...
16. An elderly man goes into a brothelAn elderly man goes into a brothel and tells the madam he would like a young girl for the night. Surprised, she looks at the ancient man and asks how old he is. «I’m 90 years old,» he says. «90!» replies the woman. «Don’t you realize you’ve had it?» «Oh, sorry,» says the old man, ... Читать далее...
17. An elderly Yuppie boasted to his guests«Look at me.» an elderly Yuppie boasted to his guests at his birthday bash. «I’ve aged like a fine old carefully stored wine.» «I certainly have to agree with that.» piped-up his obviously long suffering wife. «Henry’s cork’s been stationary for years.»...
18. Two elderly Southern women are sitting on the verandaTwo elderly Southern women are sitting on the veranda sipping lemonade and reminiscing about old times. One says to the other, «Darling, do you remember the minuet?» The other replies, «Sweetheart, I can’t even remember the ones I screwed!»...
19. Breaking Bad HabitsCounselor: Welcome everybody. You’ve all joined this Support group because you have some Bad habits that you’d like To break. Would anyone like to introduce themselves and tell us about their bad habit? Stu: Uh yeah, I’m Stu and my wife Signed me up for this support group because she says I have some really ... Читать далее...
20. A couple was delighted when finally their long wait to adoptA couple was delighted when finally their long wait to adopt a baby came to an end. The adoption center called and told them they had a wonderful Japanese baby boy, and the couple took him without hesitation. On the way home from the adoption center, they stopped by the local college so they each ... Читать далее...
21. Elderly romanceThere’s an elderly man and woman sitting in the sunroom of a retirement home. The old man says to the woman, «For five dollars, I’ll have sex with you on that rocking chair over there. For ten dollars, I’ll have sex with you on that couch. But for twenty dollars, I’ll take you to my ... Читать далее...
22. Three elderly men are at the doctor for a memory testThree elderly men are at the doctor for a memory test. The doctor says to the first man, «What is three times three?» «274,» was his reply. The doctor says to the second man, «It’s your turn. What is three times three?» «Tuesday,» replies the second man. The doctor says to the third man, «Okay, ... Читать далее...
23. There was an old married couple that had happilyThere was an old married couple that had happily lived together for nearly forty years. The only friction in their marriage was caused by the husband’s habit of breaking wind nearly every morning as he awoke. The noise would always wake up his wife and the smell would cause her eyes to water as she ... Читать далее...
24. A young couple got married, and in their familyA young couple got married, and in their family, it was tradition that the best man dance with the bride for the first song. Well, this happened…but then they danced for the second song too. And the third. By the time the fourth song came on, the groom ran up and kicked the bride between ... Читать далее...
25. Three couples wanted to join a churchThree couples, an elderly couple, a middle aged couple and a young newlywed couple wanted to join a church. The pastor says, «We have special requirements for new parishioners. You must abstain from having sex for two weeks.» The couples agreed and came back at the end of two weeks. The pastor goes to the ... Читать далее...
26. Magnussen goes to a marriage counselor and saysMagnussen goes to a marriage counselor and says, «My wife isn’t as much fun as she used to be.» The marriage counselor says, «Do you still enjoy a roll in the hay?» Magnussen says, «As much as the next fellow.» The counselor says, «Maybe between you and the next fellow, she’s exhausted.»...
27. A college couple is under a tree on campus making outA college couple is under a tree on campus making out. After a while, the girl says, «I wish you had a flashlight.» He says, «Why’s that?» She says, «Because you’ve been eating grass for fifteen minutes.»...
28. A young married couple has difficulties conceiving a babyA young married couple has difficulties conceiving a baby, so after a while the wife consults her doctor, who recommends the minor of three possible operations. The operation is performed, but a month later, she’s still not pregnant, so she goes to see the doctor again. This time he recommends the medium operation, a somewhat ... Читать далее...
29. An old couple is on a walk, when a pigeon flies byAn old couple is on a walk, when a pigeon flies by and deposits a poopy little present on the woman’s head. «Yech!» says the woman. «Get some toilet paper.» «What for? He must be half-a-mile away by now.»...
30. A couple came upon a wishing wellA couple came upon a wishing well. The husband leaned over, made a wish and threw in a penny. The wife decided to make a wish, too. But she leaned over too much, fell into the well, and drowned. The husband was stunned for a while but then smiled and said, «It really works!»...
31. The couple was dining out when the wife noticedThe couple was dining out when the wife noticed a familiar face at the bar. «Elliot,» she said, pointing «do you see that man downing bourbon at the bar?» The husband looked over and nodded. «Well,» the woman continued, «he’s been drinking like that for 10 years, ever since I jilted him!» The husband returned ... Читать далее...
32. A couple have not been getting along for yearsA couple have not been getting along for years, so the husband thinks, «I’ll buy my wife a cemetery plot for her birthday.» Well, you can imagine her disappointment. The next year, her birthday rolls around again and this time he doesn’t get her anything. She says, «Why didn’t you get me a birthday present!?» ... Читать далее...
33. After the party, as the couple was driving homeAfter the party, as the couple was driving home, the woman asks her husband, «Honey, has anyone ever told you how handsome, sexy and irresistible to women you are?» The flattered husband said, «No, dear they haven’t.» The wife yells, «Then what the heck gave you THAT idea at the party tonight?»...
34. A couple gets married, and thirty years later they’reA couple gets married, and thirty years later they’re in the same hotel, in the same room. She takes off all her clothes, lies back on the bed, and spreads her legs. Her husband starts to cry. She says, «What’s the matter?» He says, «Thirty years ago I couldn’t wait to eat it. Now it ... Читать далее...
35. The young immigrant couple had just left theThe young immigrant couple had just left the courthouse after being sworn in as American citizens. «It is wonderful,» the husband exclaimed. «We are American citizens at last! Do you know what this means to us my dear wife?» «Yes, you male chauvinist pig,» his wife replied. «Tonight, you cook dinner and I get on ... Читать далее...
36. Перевод слова annualAnnual — ежегодный, годовой Перевод слова Annual bonus — ежегодная премия annual budget — ежегодный бюджет annual earnings — ежегодная прибыль annual function — ежегодный прием Each worker receives an Annual bonus. Каждый работник получает ежегодный бонус. The company’s Annual sales turnover is around $300 million. Годовой товарооборот компании составляет около 300 млн. долл....
37. Could be here soonerAn elderly couple were killed in an accident and found themselves being given a tour of heaven by Saint Peter. «Here is your oceanside condo, over there are the tennis courts, swimming pool, and two golf courses. If you need any refreshments, just stop by any of the many bars located throughout the area.» «Heck, ... Читать далее...
38. There is this French couple, sitting up talking, whenThere is this French couple, sitting up talking, when the wife says to the husband that it was time he had a conversation with their thirteen year old son about the birds and the bees. So the father goes to his son’s room and says «Son do you remember that session I arranged for you ... Читать далее...
39. A couple on their honeymoon woke up after their big nightA couple on their honeymoon woke up after their big night. The bride rolled over and said, «That was nice but tell me, what did my pussy look like before you rooted it?» The husband replied «Like a beautiful rose with drops of dew on it.» «That’s nice honey» she replied, «What did it look ... Читать далее...
40. Partial DosageAn elderly gentleman went to the local drug store and asked the pharmacist for Viagra. The pharmacist said «That’s no problem. How many do you want?» The man answered, «Just a few, maybe 4, but cut each one in 4 pieces.» The pharmacist said, «That won’t do you any good.» The elderly gentleman said, «That’s ... Читать далее...