Saxophone

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1. BanjoQ: How many banjo players does it take to change a light bulb? A: Only one, but all the others gathered around will complain that that’s not the way Earl Scruggs would have done it. Q: How can you tell the stage you’re playing on is level? A: The banjo player is drooling out of ... Читать далее...
2. BagpipesQ: Why do bagpipers walk when they play? A: To get away from the noise. Q: What’s the only thing worse than a bagpiper? A: Good question. We’re still trying to find out too. Bagpipes (noun) — I understand the inventor of the bagpipes was inspired when he saw a man carrying an indignant, asthmatic ... Читать далее...
3. BassQ: Why did the bass player get mad at the timpanist? A: He turned a peg and wouldn’t tell the bass player which one. Q: How many bass players does it take to change a light bulb? A: Only one — but the guitarist has to show him first. Q: How many bass players does ... Читать далее...
4. French hornQ: What do you get when you cross a French horn player with a goal post? A: A goal post that can’t march. Q: How many French horn players does it take to change a light bulb? A: Just one, but he’ll spend two hours checking the bulb for alignment and leaks. Q: What do ... Читать далее...
5. TrumpetQ: How many lead trumpet players does it take to change a light bulb? A: Fifty. One to do it and the others to stand around and say, «I could do that better. Q: What do lead trumpet players use for birth control? A: Their personality. Q: What is the difference between a trumpet soloist ... Читать далее...
6. GuitarQ: How do you make him stop playing? A: Put notes on it! Q: What did the guitar say to the guitarist? A: Pick on someone your own size! Q: What’s the definition of a minor second? A: Two lead guitarists playing in unison. Q: What do you call two guitarists playing in unison? A: ... Читать далее...
7. AccordionsAn accordion is a bagpipe with pleats. Q: What is the definition of an optimist? A: An accordion player with a pager. Q: What is the difference between an Uzi and an accordion? A: The Uzi stops after 20 rounds. Q: What do accordion players use as a contraceptive? A: Their personalities. Q: What’s the ... Читать далее...
8. TubaQ: What is the range of a tuba? A: Twenty yards if you’ve got a good arm. Q: What’s a tuba for? A: 1 1/2 X 3 1/2. Q: There are two tubaplayers sitting in a car. Who’s driving? A: The policeman Tuba Player: Did you hear my last recital? Friend: I hope so. Q: ... Читать далее...
9. English hornQ: What is the difference between hearing an English horn solo and being tortured? A: One is far more painful to your ears. Q: What’s the name of a good English horn player? A: I’ll tell you when I meet one. Q: How many English horn players does it take to change a light bulb? ... Читать далее...
10. VocalsQ: How do you tell when your lead singer is at the door? A: He can’t find the key and doesn’t know when to come in. Q: What is the difference between a Wagnerian soprano and an All-Pro offensive lineman? A: Stage makeup. Q: How many lead singers does it take to change a light ... Читать далее...
11. Dogs and Light BulbsHow many dogs does it take to change a light bulb? Border Collie: Just one. Then I’ll replace any wiring that’s not up to code. Rottweiler: Make me! Lab: Oh, me, me! Pleeease let me change the light bulb! Can I? Huh? Huh? Dachshund: You know I can’t reach that stupid lamp! Malamute: Let the ... Читать далее...
12. How many women with PMS does it take toQ: How many women with PMS does it take to screw in a light bulb? A: One. ONE!! And do you know WHY it only takes ONE? Because no one else in this house knows HOW to change a light bulb. They don’t even know the bulb is BURNED OUT. They would sit in this ... Читать далее...
13. Перевод слова bulbBulb — луковица, электрическая лампочка Перевод слова Bulb of the hair — луковица волос bulb of eye — глазное яблоко frosted bulb — матовая лампочка The Bulb’s gone in the bathroom. В ванной перегорела лампочка. A light Bulb dangled from the ceiling. С потолка свисала электрическая лампочка. I’m not very practical — I can’t even ... Читать далее...
14. MusicianQ: How many musicians does it take to change a light bulb? A: Twenty. 1 to do it and the other 19 to stand around and say, «I can do that!» Q: What do you get if Bach falls off a horse, but has the courage to get on again and continue riding? A: Bach ... Читать далее...
15. Значение идиомы change one’s tune[change one’s tune] {v. phr.}, {informal} To make a change in your story, statement, or claim; change your way of acting. The man said he was innocent, but when they found the stolen money in his pocket he changed his tune. Bob was rude to his teacher, but she threatened to tell the principal and ... Читать далее...
16. ViolaQ: What is a chord? A: Three violists playing in unison. Q: What is the best recording of the Walton viola concerto? A: Music Minus One. Q: What is the difference between a viola and a trampoline? A: You take off your shoes before you jump on the trampoline. Q: What is the difference between ... Читать далее...
17. Значение идиомы sing a different tune[sing a different tune] or [whistle a different tune] also [sing anew tune] {v. phr.}, {informal} To talk or act in the opposite way;contradict something said before. Charles said that all smokersshould be expelled from the team but he sang a different tune afterthe coach caught him smoking. Syn.: CHANGE ONE’S TUNE, DANCE TOANOTHER TUNE. ... Читать далее...
18. How many managers does it take to change a light bulb?Q: How many managers does it take to change a light bulb? A: We’ve formed a task force to study the problem of why light bulbs burn out, and figure out what, exactly, we as supervisors can do to make the bulbs work smarter, not harder....
19. Appearance: The Arms and Hands — Внешность: рукиThe arms and hands of our prehistoric ancestors were probably not very different from the human arm and hand today. The upper and lower joints of the arm, elbow and wrist, were probably very similar, and the basic structure of the hand with its five fingers was also the same. But according to some scientists, ... Читать далее...
20. Значение идиомы dance to another tune[dance to another tune] {v. phr.} To talk or act differently, usually better because things have changed; be more polite or obedient because you are forced to do it. Johnny refused to do his homework but punishment made him dance to another tune. Compare: CHANGE ONE’S TUNE, SING A DIFFERENT TUNE....
21. Buying a chainsawThis fellow is looking to buy a saw to cut down some trees in his back yard. He goes to a chainsaw shop and asks about various chainsaws. The dealer tells him, «Look, I have a lot of models, but why don’t you save yourself a lot of time and aggravation and get the top-of-the-line ... Читать далее...
22. Значение идиомы get a grip on[get a grip on] {v. phr.} To take firm control of something. IfTim wants to keep his job, he had better get a grip on himself andstart working harder. Contrast: LOSE ONE’S GRIP....
23. Значение идиомы in tune[in tune] {adv.} or {adj. phr.} 1. At the proper musical pitch;high or low enough in sound. The piano is in tune. 2. Going welltogether; in agreement; matching; agreeable. — Often used with «with». In his new job, John felt in tune with his surroundings and hisassociates. Contrast: OUT OF TUNE....
24. Thomas Alva EdisonMost people know that Thomas Edison invented the first working light bulb, but they don’t know anything else about him. Edison had almost no formal schooling, yet he invented over 1000 different things. Among Edison’s inventions are: the phonograph (record player), the movie camera and the movie projector. Thomas Edison invented his electric light bulb ... Читать далее...
25. Значение идиомы out of tune[out of tune] {adv.} or {adj. phr.} 1. Out of proper musical pitch;too low or high in sound. The band sounded terrible, because theinstruments were out of tune. 2. Not in agreement; in disagreement;not going well together. — Often used with «with». What Jack saidwas out of tune with how he looked; he said he ... Читать далее...
26. Перевод идиомы get a grip on oneself / get a grip of oneself, значение выражения и пример использованияИдиома: get a grip on oneself / get a grip of oneself Перевод: взять себя в руки, контролировать в себя, владеть собой Пример: When he cried, she said, «Get a grip on yourself, Dear.» Когда он заплакал, она сказала: «Возьми себя в руки, дорогой». The man got a grip of himself and calmed down. Человек ... Читать далее...
27. Chem one-liners 02Q: How many physical chemists does it take to change a light bulb? A: Only one, but he’ll change it three times, plot a straight line through the data, and then extrapolate to zero concentration. «A super-saturated solution is one that holds more than it can hold.» Isaac Asimov said that if you want to ... Читать далее...
28. Golf in the BedroomGolf in the Bedroom Rules of Play Each player shall provide his own equipment — normally one club and two balls. Play on a course must be approved by the owner of the hole. Unlike outdoor golf, the object is to get the club in the hole and keep the balls out of the hole. ... Читать далее...
29. Значение идиомы lose one’s grip[lose one’s grip] {v. phr.} To fail in control or command; loseyour strength, force, or ability to lead. Mr. Jones began to losehis grip: he no longer wanted the hard jobs, and he left decisions toothers. When a locomotive engineer loses his grip, he is no longertrusted with express runs....
30. Describing Talent and AbilityKathy: Thanks for inviting me to see your team. Who’s your best player? Brad: That would be Sarah. She’s a Natural. No one comes close to her speed and Dexterity. She has good Instincts and a Flair for getting out of difficult situations. Kathy: She sounds Promising. Anyone else I should be Keeping an eye ... Читать далее...
31. Перевод слова gripGrip — схватить, сжать Перевод слова To get a grip on oneself — владеть собой the story gripped me — рассказ захватил меня the child gripped his mother’s hand — ребенок крепко держался за руку матери Please relax your Grip on my arm. Пожалуйста, не сжимай мне так руку. Asthma has Gripped me by the ... Читать далее...
32. ClarinetQ: What’s the definition of a nerd? A: Someone who has his or her own alto clarinet. Q: Why do clarinetists leave their cases on the dashboard? A: So they can park in the handicap zones. Q: What do you call a bass-clarinetist with half a brain? A: Gifted. Q: What is the difference between ... Читать далее...
33. A lady goes in to take a tennis lessonA lady goes in to take a tennis lesson, and the instructor notices she is using the wrong grip. After several failed attempts to correct her, he finally says «OK,, just grip it like you do your husband’s member». After that, she immediately rips a couple of top spin winners down the line. The instructor ... Читать далее...
34. Перевод слова differenceDifference — различие, разница, несходство Перевод слова Difference of opinion — расхождение во мнениях difference of five pounds — разница в пять фунтов to have a difference with smb. — поспорить с кем-л. It makes no Difference. Какая разница? Can you taste the Difference? Вы можете почувствовать разницу? It makes a vast Difference. Это значительно ... Читать далее...
35. Значение идиомы to the tune of[to the tune of] {adv. phr.}, {informal} To the amount or extentof; in the amount of. He had to pay to the tune of fifty dollarsfor seeing how fast the car would go. When she left the race trackshe had profited to the tune of ten dollars....
36. Перевод слова playerPlayer — игрок, плеер Перевод слова Circumspect player — осторожный игрок composite player — коллективный игрок chess player — игрок в шахматы He’s a very fine Player. Он очень хороший игрок. He’s a keen chess Player. Он фанатичный шахматист. Each Player throws one die. Каждый игрок бросает одну кость. Происхождение слова player Образовано от глагола...
37. Sports TryoutsMarcela: All right, you’re ready for these Tryouts. You’ve passed your Physical. You’ve trained for months. You’re going To make that team. Kenji: It’s okay. I don’t need a Pep talk. I’m just going to do the best I can. Marcela: Yes, but you want To have your head in the right place. You’re going ... Читать далее...
38. Перевод слова tuneTune — мелодия, настраивать Перевод слова To tune a piano — настраивать фортепьяно to tune public opinion — настраивать общественное мнение popular tune — популярная мелодия The piano is out of Tune. Пианино расстроено. The Tune is pretty. Эта мелодия прелестна. The place Tuned me to a solemn mood. Это место настроило меня на торжественный ... Читать далее...
39. OrchestraQ: What is the definition of a Soviet String Quartet? A: A Soviet Symphony Orchestra after a tour of the USA! Q: What do you do with percussionists that lose one of their drumsticks? A: Stick them up front of the group and tell them to wave their arms! Q: How many conductors does it ... Читать далее...
40. Значение идиомы call the tune[call the tune] {v. phr.}, {informal} To be in control; give orders or directions; command. Bill was president of the club but Jim was secretary and called the tune. The people supported the mayor, so he could call the tune in city matters. Syn.: CALL THE SHOTS....