A British General had sent some of his men off to fight for their country in the Falkland Island Crisis.
Upon returning to England from the South American island, three soldiers that had distinguished themselves in battle were summoned to the General’s office. «Since we weren’t actually at war,» the General began, «I can’t give out any medals. We did, however, want to let each of you know your efforts were appreciated.
What we’ve decided to do is to let each of you choose two points on your body. You will be given two pounds sterling for each inch of distance between those parts. We’ll start on the left, boys, so what’ll it be?»
Soldier 1: «The tip of me head to me toes, sahr!» General: «Very good son, that’s 70 inches which comes to 140 pounds»
Soldier 2: «The tip of the finger on one outstretched hand to the tip of the other, sir!»
General: «Even better son, that’s 72 inches which comes to 144 pounds»
Soldier 3: «The palm of me hand to the tip of me left pinky, sahr!»
General: «That’s a strange but fair request, son!
As the general begins the measurement: «What! Son, where is your left pinky?»
Soldier 3: «Falkland Island, sahr!»
Topic communication.
Тема туризм английский.
Related topics:
- Перевод слова fightFight — борьба, бой; драться Перевод слова Hand-to-hand fight — рукопашный бой free fight — всеобщая драка, свалка to fight like a lion — сражаться как лев She Fought her fear. Она боролась со своим страхом. He was still full of Fight. Он был все еще полон боевого задора. That cock won’t Fight. Этот номер ... Читать далее...
- Man takes the ferry home from workJohn Smith lived in Staten Island, New York and worked in Manhattan. He had to take the ferryboat home every night. One evening, he got down to the ferry and found there was a wait for the next boat, so John decided to stop at a nearby tavern. Before long he was feeling no pain. ... Читать далее...
- At the Russian War College, the general is a guest lecturerAt the Russian War College, the general is a guest lecturer and tells the class of officers that the session will focus on potential problems and the resulting strategies. One of the officers in the class begins by asking the first question, «Will we have to fight a World War Three?» «Yes, comrades, looks like ... Читать далее...
- Перевод слова soldierSoldier — солдат, рядовой, военнослужащий Перевод слова The Unknown Soldier — неизвестный солдат a soldier defects — солдат дезертирует seasoned soldier — закаленный боец The Soldier had a weekend pass. Солдат получил увольнительную на выходные. That Soldier really lacked «solids». Тому солдату действительно не хватало твердости характера. He is framed to be a Soldier. Он ... Читать далее...
- Soldier stands guardA new soldier was on sentry duty at the main gate. His orders were clear. No car was to enter unless it had a special sticker on the windshield. A big Army car came up with a general seated in the back. The sentry said, «Halt, who goes there?» The chauffeur, a corporal, says, «General ... Читать далее...
- Значение идиомы by inches[by inches] {adv. phr.} By small or slow degrees; little by little; gradually. The river was rising by inches. They got a heavy wooden beam under the barn for a lever, and managed to move it by inches. He was dying by inches....
- Перевод сленгового выражения work one’s ass off / work one’s tail off / work one’s buns off / work one’s butt off, значение и пример использованияСленговое выражение: work one’s ass off / work one’s tail off / work one’s buns off / work one’s butt off Сленговое выражение: work one’s ass off / work one’s tail off / work one’s buns off / work one’s butt off груб. Перевод: усердно трудиться, много работать Пример: You’ve been working your ass off ... Читать далее...
- Missing personRecently, a distraught wife went to the local police station, along with her next-door neighbor, to report that her husband was missing. The policeman asked for a description of the missing man. The wife said, «He is 35 years old, 6-foot 4-inches, has dark eyes, dark wavy hair, an athletic build, weighs 185 pounds, is ... Читать далее...
- AustraliaТопик Австралия рассказывает об огромном острове и государстве Австралия, по площади – в 25 раз больше, чем Великобритания. Большая часть населению проживает на юго-восточном побережье, где климат мягкий, умеренный. Современная Австралия — независимое федеративное государство, состоящее из 6 Штатов и 2-ух территорий. Страна является членом Британского Содружества, возглавляемого Королевой Великобритании. Национальный язык — английский. Столица ... Читать далее...
- A dog for a wifeIt was a dark, stormy, night. The Marine was on his first assignment, and it was guard duty. A General stepped out taking his dog for a walk. The nervous young Private snapped to attention, made a perfect salute, and snapped out «Sir, Good Evening, Sir!» The General, out for some relaxation, returned the salute ... Читать далее...
- A new taxDepartment of the Treasury Internal Revenue Service Washington, D. C. To: All Male Taxpayers RE: Notice of increase of tax payment Form 1040 — P The only thing that the IRS has not taxed yet is your penis. This is due to the fact that 40% of the time it is hanging around unemployed, 30% ... Читать далее...
- Reward for goodnessThree men died in a car accident and met Jesus himself at the Pearly Gates. The Lord spoke unto them saying, «I will ask you each a simple question. If you tell the truth I will allow you into heaven, but if you lie….Hell is waiting for you. To the first man the Lord asked, ... Читать далее...
- My daughter is your rewardOnce there was a millionaire, who collected live alligators. He kept them in the pool in back of his mansion. The millionaire also had a beautiful daughter who was single. One day he decides to throw a huge party, and during the party he announces, «My dear guests. . . I have a proposition to ... Читать далее...
- Being Different — British CharacterThe British can be particularly and stubbornly conservative about anything which is perceived as token of Britishness. In these use the same scales that are used nearly everywhere else in the world. But it has had only limited The British can be particularly and stubbornly conservative about anything which is perceived as token of Britishness. ... Читать далее...
- Значение идиомы cry wolf[cry wolf] {v. phr.} To give a false alarm; warn of a danger that you know is not there. The general said that the candidate was just crying wolf when he said that the army was too weak to fight for the country....
- Ten pounds of prideA Texan bought a round of drinks for all in the bar and announced that his wife had just produced a typical Texas baby, weighing a whopping twenty pounds. «WOW!» was the response from everyone at the bar. Two weeks later the Texan returned to the bar. The bartender recognized him and asked, «Aren’t you ... Читать далее...
- Перевод слова islandIsland — остров Перевод слова Small island — островок to live on an island — жить на острове a desert island — необитаемый остров The Island’s population irrupted. Население острова резко возросло. The Island possesses great charm. Остров обладает величайшим очарованием. The Island’s birds are quite tame. Птицы острова совсем ручные. Интересные факты «Остров» (The ... Читать далее...
- A few questions and answersQ. What should you do if your girlfriend starts smoking? A. Slow down and use a lubricant. Q. What’s six inches long, two inches wide, and drives women wild? A. Money. Q. What’s the difference between your wife and your job? A. After five years your job will still suck. Q. How can you spot ... Читать далее...
- During the Six Day WarDuring the Six Day War, this division of Arabs is making its way across the burning desert sands towards Israel, when the Arab commander, bouncing along in his jeep, spots an aged Israeli on top a distant sand dune. The commander drops his binoculars and shouts orders to a foot soldier to run up ahead ... Читать далее...
- A marine general, an army general and a navy admiralA marine general, an army general and a navy admiral were discussing who had the toughest men. The army general says, «Alright, I’ll prove the army has the toughest men in the country. Private, get over here!» The private reports as ordered, «Yes sir?» The general says, «See that man over there? Kill him!» Without ... Читать далее...
- Перевод слова rewardReward — награда, воздаяние Перевод слова To obtain a reward — получить награду just reward — справедливая награда tangible reward — материальное поощрение She wanted to Reward the cleaners for their efforts. Она хотела вознаградить уборщиков за их усилия. A Reward of $20,000 has been offered. Было предложение вознаграждение в размере 20 000 долларов США. ... Читать далее...
- Reasons to allow drinking at workThe below are valid reasons as to why drinking should be allowed at work. If you use them wisely, you may even be able to convince your boss into allowing alcohol. 1. It’s an incentive to show up. 2. It reduces stress. 3. It leads to more honest communications. 4. It reduces complaints about low ... Читать далее...
- Биография Юлия Цезаря на английском языке. Biography of Julius CaesarJulius Caesar was a Roman general and dictator who lived from 100 BC to 44 BC. He helped to make Rome a great empire. He was also a talented writer. Early life of Caesar His father, Gaius Caesar died when Caesar was 16. Caesar’s mother, Aurelia, influenced her son greatly. Although Caesar came from a ... Читать далее...
- The story with the moralIn the dead of summer a fly was resting on a leaf beside a lake. He was a hot, dry fly who said to no one in particular, «Gosh! If I go down three inches I will feel the mist from the water and I will be refreshed.» There was a fish in the water ... Читать далее...
- Перевод слова generalGeneral — общий, повсеместный, главный Перевод слова General meeting — общее собрание as a general rule — обычно, как правило general opinion — общее мнение The practice threatens to become General. Этот обычай грозит стать всеобщим. There was a General disposition to remain. Большинство хотело остаться. In General people like her. Обычно она людям нравится....
- Пословица / поговорка a little hard work never killed anyone / a little work never hurt anyone — перевод и значение, пример использованияПословица / поговорка: a little hard work never killed anyone / a little work never hurt anyone Перевод: небольшой труд еще никому не навредил Пример: The mother said that a little hard work never hurt anyone and asked her son to clean the kitchen. Мать сказала, что немного труда еще никому не вредило, и попросила ... Читать далее...
- Пословица / поговорка virtue is its own reward — перевод и значение, пример использованияПословица / поговорка: virtue is its own reward Перевод: добродетель не нуждается в вознаграждении Пример: «If I help you, will you pay me?» «Virtue is its own reward.» Если я помогу тебе, ты мне заплатишь? — Добродетель не нуждается в вознаграждении....
- Little Johnny was 7 years old, and like other boys his ageLittle Johnny was 7 years old, and like other boys his age, rather curious. He had been hearing quite a bit about courting from other boys and he wondered what it was and how it was done. One day he took his questions to his mother, and she became flustered. Instead of explaining things to ... Читать далее...
- Requesting a three day passAn Israeli soldier who just enlisted asked the Commanding Officer for a 3-day pass. The CO says «Are you crazy? You just join the Israeli army, and you already want a 3-day pass? You must do something spectacular for that recognition!» So the soldier comes back a day later in an Arab tank! The CO ... Читать далее...
- Перевод слова BritishBritish — британский, английский Перевод слова British Museum — Британский музей of British origin — британского происхождения his British promoter — его агент в Великобритании He has British nationality. Он имеет британское гражданство. Six British sailors drowned. Шесть британских моряков утонули. She has applied for British citizenship. Она подала заявление на получение британского гражданства....
- During WW II an American soldierDuring WW II an American soldier had been on the front lines in Europe for three months, when he was finally given a week of R&R. He caught a supply boat to a supply base in the south of England, then caught a train to London. The train was extremely crowded and he could not ... Читать далее...
- Recruiting any and all pilotsThe chief of staff of the US Air Force decided that he would personally intervene in the recruiting crisis affecting all of our armed services. He directed a nearby Air Force base that will be opened and that all eligible young men and women be invited. As he and his staff were standing near a ... Читать далее...
- Three Irish women were discussing their respective matesCould this herald the return of our resident wise man, Cunning Lin Gus? Three Irish women were discussing their respective mates over tea. «I call my man ‘Eight,’ » said the first woman, «Because he’s got eight inches, and we do it eight times a day.» The second woman said in response, «I call my ... Читать далее...
- My men are very braveGeneral McKenzie was in charge of the Navy, and he was visiting his colleague General Marshall, who was in charge of the Army. McKenzie arrives at the military camp and is greeted by Marshall. They both walk around the place, and McKensie asks: «So how are your men?» «Very well trained, Gral. McKenzie.» «I hope ... Читать далее...
- Значение идиомы hand[hand] See: AT HAND, BIRD IN THE HAND IS WORTH TWO IN THE BUSH, BITE THE HAND THAT FEEDS ONE, CLEAN HANDS, DIRTY ONE’S HANDS, EAT OUTOF ONE’S HAND, FORCE ONE’S HAND, FREE HAND, FROM HAND TO HAND, GLADHAND, HAM-HANDED, HANG HEAVY or HANG HEAVY ON ONE’S HANDS, HAT INHAND, HAVE A HAND IN, HAVE ... Читать далее...
- Значение идиомы hand in hand[hand in hand] {adv. phr.} 1. Holding hands. Bob and Mary walkedalong hand in hand in the park. Compare: ARM IN ARM. 2. Accompanyingeach other; together; closely connected. — Used with «go». Ignorance and poverty often go hand in hand. Selfishness andunhappiness often go hand in hand....
- A tourist, visiting a small town in IsraelA tourist, visiting a small town in Israel, came upon a statue dedicated to «The Unknown Soldier». At the base of the statue, a sign was displayed: «Here lies Seymour Ruthenberg». The tourist inquired of one of the locals how was it possible an unknown had a name. The resident replied, «As a soldier, that ... Читать далее...
- New Zealand (3)New Zealand is a very interesting country. It has got total area of 269,000 square kilometers. It is situated to south-east of Australia in the Pacific Ocean. It consists of two main islands (North Island and South Island) and some smaller ones. Nearly 3.5 million people live in the country. The capital of New Zealand ... Читать далее...
- Dishonesty at WorkAmina: Have you heard the latest news? Shane: No, what is it? Amina: Charlie was fired last Friday after the company found out that he had been Cooking the books for over six months and had Embezzled more than $50,000. Shane: Charlie? I don’t believe it! He is the most Upstanding person I know. I ... Читать далее...
- New Zealand (2)New Zealand, an independent state and a member of the Commonwealth, is situated south-east from Australia. The country consists of three large islands and also many small islands. New Zealand is a mountainous country. New Zealand’s rivers are short. The climate in New Zealand is warm and the greater part of the country is well ... Читать далее...
Reward these soldiers for their work