Question answer 01

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1. Question answer 02 Why should you be careful playing against a team of big cats? They might be cheetahs! Manager: Our new midfielder cost ten million. I call him our wonder player Fan: Why’s that? Manager: Everytime he plays I wonder why I bothered to buy him! Why do artists never when they play football? They keep drawing! […]...
2. Question answer 04 What did the footballer say when he accidentally burped during a game? Sorry, it was a freak hic! Why are football grounds odd? Because you can sit in the stands but can’t stand in the sits! What do you get if you drop a piano on a team’s defence? A flat back four! Why did […]...
3. Question answer 03 What’s the chilliest ground in the premiership? Cold Trafford! How did the footbal pitch end up as triangle? Somebody took a corner! Why didn’t the dog want to play football? It was a boxer! What did they call Dracula when he won the league? The champire! Which England player keeps up the fuel supply? Paul […]...
4. Question answer 05 Our team is doing so badly that “Manager of the Month” isn’t an award. It’s an appointment! Did you hear about the football team who ate too much pudding? They got jellygated! Which insect didn’t play well in goal? The fumble bee! What did the bumble bee striker say? Hive scored! What is black and […]...
5. Question answer 08 Which goal keeper can jump higher than a crossbar? All of them, a crossbar can’t jump! Why do grasshoppers not go to many football matches? They prefer cricket matches! What stories are told by basketball players? Tall stories! Who won the race between two balls of string? They we’re tied! Why are football players never […]...
6. Question answer 06 What lights up a football stadium? A football match! If you have a referee in football, what do you have in bowls? Cornflakes! Why aren’t football stadiums built in outer space? Because there is no atmosphere! Where do spiders play their FA Cup final? Webley stadium! When fish play football, who is the captain? The […]...
7. Question answer 07 How do you stop squirrels playing football in the garden? Hide the ball, it drives them nuts! What’s tennis players favourite city? Volley wood! How does a physicist exercise? By pumping ion! Why does someone who runs marathons make a good student? Because education pays off in the long run! What is a runner’s favourite […]...
8. The answer to the eternal question A man was speeding down the highway, feeling secure in a gaggle of cars all traveling at the same speed. However, as they passed a speed trap, he got nailed with an infrared speed detector and was pulled over. The officer handed him the citation, received his signature and was about to walk away when […]...
9. Question and answer Q: How can you tell if a lawyer is well hung? A: You can’t get a finger between the rope and his neck! Q: If you are stranded on a desert island with Adolph Hitler, Atilla the Hun, and a lawyer, and you have a gun with only two bullets, what do you do? A: […]...
10. There was a boy who worked in the produce section of the market There was a boy who worked in the produce section of the market. One day, a man came in and asked to buy half a head of lettuce. The boy told him that they only sold whole heads of lettuce, but the man replied that he did not need a whole head, but only a […]...
11. Why lawyers should never ask a witness a question Why lawyers should never ask a witness a question if they aren’t prepared for the answer: In a trial, a Southern small town prosecuting attorney called his first witness to the stand – a grandmotherly, elderly woman. He approached her and asked, “Mrs.. Jones, do you know me?” She responded, “Why, yes I do know […]...
12. The bank manager was in the final stages of hiring The bank manager was in the final stages of hiring a cashierand was down to two final applicants – one of which would get the job. The first one interviewed was from a small college in upstate New York. A nice young man, but a bit timid. Then he called for the second man, “Jim […]...
13. Alter thanksgiving day 1. During the middle of the meal, turn to mom and say, “See mom, I told you they wouldn’t notice that the turkey was four months past its expiration date. You were worried for nothing.” 2. When everyone goes around to say what they are thankful for, say, “I’m thankful I didn’t get caught” and […]...
14. I have a question A father and son went fishing one day. While they were out in the boat, the boy suddenly became curious about the world around him. He asked his father, “How does this boat float? The father replied, “Don’t rightly know son.” A little later, the boy looked at his father and asked, “How do fish […]...
15. Перевод слова reporter Reporter – докладчик, репортер Перевод слова Reporter on the ground – репортер, находящийся на месте событий financial reporter – финансовый обозреватель set right the reporter – поправлять докладчика As a Reporter, you must be well primed with facts. Ты репортер, и у тебя всегда должен быть заранее под рукой ворох фактов. It’s a news Reporter’s […]...
16. All Jews and six Mexicans This freelance journalist discovered Adolf Hitler was alive and well and living in South America. He managed to wrangle a ‘once-in-a-lifetime’ interview with Hitler on the condition that he was not to reveal where Hitler was living. He went to this interview, and lo and behold, yes, it was Adolf Hitler, looking very old. He […]...
17. The power of the press Two boys are playing football in Golden Gate Park when one is attacked by a Rottweiler. Thinking quickly, the other boy rips off a board of the nearby fence, wedges it down the dog’s collar and twists, breaking the dog’s neck. A reporter who is strollin by sees the incident, and rushes over to interview […]...
18. Значение идиомы what’s up [what’s up] or [what’s cooking] also [what’s doing] {slang} What ishappening or planned; what is wrong. – Often used as a greeting. “What’s up?” asked Bob as he joined his friends. “Are you going tothe movies?” What’s cooking? Why is the crowd in the street? What’s doing tonight at the club? Hello Bob, what’s up? […]...
19. The right way to ask a question A Jewish guy in a London hotel calls the operator and asks, in broken English with a heavy Lithuanian-Yiddish accent, for number 266418. A short time later, someone knocks, and when he opens the door he sees 2 beautiful and sexy girls who asked him: Have you ordered 2 shikses for one night?...
20. The work qualification test Murphy applied for an engineering position at an Irish firm based in Dublin. An American applied for the same job and both applicants having the same qualifications were asked to take a test by the Department manager. Upon completion of the test both men only missed one of the questions. The manager went to Murphy […]...
21. Перевод слова crowd Crowd – толпа, давка; группа людей Перевод слова To bustle through a crowd – пробиваться сквозь толпу to follow with the crowd – следовать за большинством, думать и поступать, как все she came in with all her crowd – она пришла со своей компанией We were standing Crowded together before the picture. Мы столпились перед […]...
22. Перевод слова shake Shake – трясти, сотрясать; встряска, толчок Перевод слова A shake of the hands – рукопожатие to shake with cold – дрожать от холода to shake carpets – трясти ковры He Shook his black chevelure. Он тряхнул своей черной шевелюрой. Shake up the medicine before drinking it. Встряхните лекарство перед употреблением. She Shook him to wake […]...
23. Перевод слова religious Religious – религиозный, верующий Перевод слова Early religious beliefs – религиозные представления в древности a religious ceremony – религиозный обряд he is not religious – он не верит в бога religious bigot – религиозный фанатик My Religious beliefs forbid the drinking of alcohol. Мои религиозные убеждения запрещают употреблять алкоголь. A poet and a profoundly Religious […]...
24. Planning a Business Luncheon One of my co-workers, Betty, was Retiring this month after working for the company 23 years. I was put In charge of planning a retirement lunch In her honor at a restaurant nearby. The company was Picking up the tab and it was Up to me to set a day and time. After asking the […]...
25. Question is too easy ON A CHEMISTRY TEST at Midpark High School in Middleburg Heights, Ohio, one question concerned how to clean the floor after a chemical-powder spill. In detail, I described the liquid I would combine with the powder in order to dissolve it with chemical bonding and electron transfer. I was pleased with my grasp of molecular […]...
26. Ask your question One day at a trial, an eminent psychologist was called to testify. A severe, no-nonsense professional, she sat down in the witness chair, unaware that its rear legs were set precariously on the back of the raised platform. “Will you state your name?” asked the district attorney. Tilting back in her chair she opened her […]...
27. Значение идиомы call in question [call in question] or [call into question] or [call in doubt] {v. phr.} To say may be a mistake; express doubt about; question. Bill called in question Ed’s remark that basketball is safer than football....
28. Next time you think your hotel bill is too high you might want to consider this Husband and wife are traveling by car from Key West to Boston After almost twenty-four hours on the road, They’re too tired to continue, and they decide to stop for a rest. They stop at a nice hotel and take a room, but they only plan to sleep for four hours and then get back […]...
29. Перевод слова club Club – клуб Перевод слова Tennis club – теннисный клуб nature-study club – клуб натуралистов-любителей to join a club – стать членом клуба Shall we go to a Club? Мы пойдем в клуб? You have to play a Club. Вы должны играть в клубе. I’ll see you at the Club. Увидимся в клубе....
30. Перевод слова station Station – станция, пункт, пост, местоположение Перевод слова Dressing station – перевязочный пункт arctic station – арктическая станция coast-guard station – пост береговой охраны television broadcasting station – телевизионная радиостанция I’ll happily take you to the Station. Я с удовольствием подвезу вас на станцию. I placed myself on my former Station. Я встал на свое […]...
31. Expresso and a syringe This guy goes into a restaurant. He’s a little more than strung out from lack of sleep. The waiter asked for his order. Trying to be funny he asked the waiter for a hit of his best heroin. Struggling to keep a straight face. The waiter says,”I’m sorry sir, we’re all out”. “In that case […]...
32. Equally qualified Young man Murphy applied for an engineering position at an Irish firm based in Dublin. An American applied for the same job and both applicants having the same qualifications were asked to take a test by the Department manager. Upon completion of the test both men only missed one of the questions. The manager went […]...
33. Перевод слова manager Manager – управляющий, руководитель, менеджер Перевод слова Manager of distribution – менеджер отдела сбыта branch manager – заведующий отделением, заведующий филиалом campaign manager – руководитель избирательной кампании He was appointed Manager. Его назначили управляющим. He will make a good Manager. Он станет хорошим управляющим. I demand to see the Manager. Я хочу видеть менеджера. Происхождение […]...
34. A man lay sprawled across three entire seats A man lay sprawled across three entire seats in the posh theater. When the usher came by and noticed this, he whispered to the man, “Sorry, sir, but you’re only allowed one seat.” The man groaned but didn’t budge. The usher became impatient. “Sir, if you don’t get up from there I’m going to have […]...
35. How soccer saved a boy’s future: Aceh tsunami survivor Martunis joins Portuguese club Sporting Lisbon Aceh tsunami survivor Martunis joins Portuguese club Sporting Lisbon On Wednesday, a seventeen-year-old boy named Martunis from Banda Aceh, Indonesia, was announced as the newest addition to Sporting Portugal’s U-19 football team. He will wear the green-and-white hoops and train at the very same academy where his idol, three-time FIFA World Player of the Year […]...
36. The duffer muffed his tee shot into the woods The duffer muffed his tee shot into the woods, then hit into a few trees, then proceeded to hit across the fairway into another woods. Finally, after banging away several more times, he proceeded to hit into a sand trap. All the while, he’d noticed that the club professional had been watching. “What club should […]...
37. Once the club duffer challenged the local golf pro Once the club duffer challenged the local golf pro to a match, with a $100 bet on the side. “But,” said the duffer, “since you’re obviously much better than I, to even it a bit you have to spot me two’gotchas’.” The golf pro didn’t know what a ‘gotcha’ was, but he went along with […]...
38. Значение идиомы more than one could shake a stick at [more than one could shake a stick at] {adj. phr.}, {informal} Verymany; a great many; more than you can count. There were more peopleat the game than you could shake a stick at. I had moreassignments for homework than I could shake a stick at....
39. A blonde began a job as an Junior school counselor A blonde began a job as an Junior school counselor, and she was eager to help. One day during break she noticed a boy standing by himself on the side of a playing field while the rest of the kids enjoyed a game of football at the other. Sandy approached and asked if he was […]...
40. Значение идиомы beg the question [beg the question] {v. phr.}, {literary} To accept as true something that is still being argued about, before it is proved true; avoid or not answer a question or problem. The girls asked Miss Smith if they should wear formal dresses to the party; Miss Smith said they were begging the question because they didn’t […]...