Psychiatrist phone

Related topics:

1. Psychiatric Hotline If you are obsessive-compulsive, please press 1 repeatedly. If you are co-dependent, please ask someone to press 2. If you have multiple personalities, please press 3, 4, 5, and 6. If you are paranoid-delusional, we know who you are and what you want. Just stay on the line so we can trace the call. If […]...
2. Where lawers come from An anxious woman goes to her doctor. “Doctor,” she asks nervously, “can you get pregnant from anal intercourse?” “Certainly,” replies the doctor, “Where do you think lawyers come from?”...
3. Перевод слова anxious Anxious – озабоченный, тревожный Перевод слова Anxious moment – тревожный момент anxious time – трудное время anxious business – хлопотное дело anxious eye – беспокойный взгляд People are Anxious about the future. Люди беспокоятся о своем будущем We were all Anxious for news. Мы все с нетерпением ждали новостей. She feels Anxious and depressed. Она […]...
4. ABBOTT AND COSTELLO MEETS WINDOWS95 ABBOTT AND COSTELLO MEETS WINDOWS95 Costello: Hey, Abbott! Abbot: Yes, Lou? Costello: I just got my first computer. Abbot: That’s great Lou. What did you get? Costello: A Pentium II-266, with 40 Megs of RAM, a 2.1 Gig hard drive, and a 24X CD-ROM. Abbot: That’s terrific, Lou. Costello: But I don’t know what any […]...
5. Traditions A man and a woman got married, and he told her : ” since you are my wife you should respect my traditions and habits…and i have 3 traditions. So, first tradition: On wednesdays i play football with my friends…no matter what..whether it snows or it rains…i dont care..i play football!! -Is it clear for […]...
6. A man goes to a psychiatrist A man goes to a psychiatrist. To start things off, the psychiatrist suggests they start with a Rorschach Test. He holds up the first picture and asks the man what he sees. “A man and a woman making love in a park,” the man replies. The psychiatrist holds up the second picture and asks the […]...
7. A profoundly ugly girl went to the psychiatrist A profoundly ugly girl went to the psychiatrist. “My life is a mess, doctor,” she began, “I am so fucking hideous that no one will associate with me, touch me, or even talk to me. Can you help?” “Why, certainly! Helping people feel much better about themselves is my area of expertise. I can start […]...
8. A Jewish young man was seeing a psychiatrist A Jewish young man was seeing a psychiatrist for an eating and sleeping disorder. “I am so obsessed with my mother… As soon as I go to sleep, I start dreaming, and everyone in my dream turns into my mother. I wake up in such a state, all I can do is go downstairs and […]...
9. Значение идиомы at random [at random] {adv. phr.} With no order, plan, or purpose; in a mixed-up, or thoughtless way. He opened the letters at random. His clothes were scattered about the room at random....
10. I. R. S. phone calls The following are actual phone calls made to I. R. S. offices across the United States. – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – […]...
11. Перевод слова press Press – нажимать, давить, пресс; пресса Перевод слова Wine press – виноградный пресс to press a lever – нажать на рычаг don’t press him too hard – не дави на него слишком сильно Press the pause button. Нажмите на паузу. Have the Press got a sniff yet? Пресса уже пронюхала? To cut text, Press Control […]...
12. A customer walks into a pharmacy A customer walks into a pharmacy and asks assistant for an anal deodorant. The assistant explains that they don’t stock them. The man insists that he bought his last one from this store. The assistant passes man on to the pharmacist, who explains that store has never stocked such an item. The man explains he […]...
13. Значение идиомы champ at the bit [champ at the bit] {v. phr.} To be eager to begin; be tired of being held back; want to start. The horses were champing at the bit, anxious to start racing. As punishment John was kept after school for two hours. He was champing at the bit to go out....
14. Значение идиомы press the flesh [press the flesh] {v.}, {slang} To shake hands with total strangersby the hundreds, keeping an artificial smile all the way, in order toraise one’s popularity during political elections. IncumbentGovernor Maxwell was pressing the flesh all day long at six differenthotels. Compare: BABY KISSER....
15. A Product Recall Melissa: This is a Disaster! If we have to Recall 100,000 units, we’ll take a huge Loss this year. Lee: We have no choice. The Product defect poses a Safety hazard. If we don’t act quickly, we’ll have a huge Liability issue On our hands. Melissa: I think we’re Blowing this out of proportion. Only […]...
16. Education for women Continuing Education Courses for Women Silence, the Final Frontier: Where No Woman Has Gone Before. The Undiscovered Side of Banking: Making Deposits. Parties: Going Without New Outfits. Man Management: Discover How Minor Household Chores Can Wait Until After the Game. Bathroom Etiquette I: Men Need Space in the Bathroom Cabinet Too. Bathroom Etiquette II: His […]...
17. A woman goes to a psychiatrist and says A woman goes to a psychiatrist and says, “Doctor, you’ve got to do something about my husband – he thinks he’s a refrigerator!” “I wouldn’t worry too much about it,” the doctor replies. “Lots of people have harmless delusions. It will pass.” “But you don’t understand,” the woman insists. “He sleeps with his mouth open, […]...
18. A blonde is speaking to her psychiatrist A blonde is speaking to her psychiatrist. “I’m on the road a lot, and my clients are complaining that they can never reach me.” Psychiatrist: “Don’t you have a phone in your car?” Blonde: “That was a little too expensive, so I did the next best thing. I put a mailbox in my car.” Psychiatrist: […]...
19. A woman came to the psychiatrist worried A woman came to the psychiatrist worried. “Doctor,” she said, “I can’t sleep at night. When I’m in the next room, I have this dreadful fear that I won’t hear the baby if he falls out of the crib at night. What should I do?” “Easy,” said the doctor. “Just take the carpet off the […]...
20. Значение идиомы bingo card [bingo card] {n.}, {slang} A response card, bound into a periodical, containing numbers keyed to editorial or advertising matter, giving the reader the opportunity to send for further information by marking the numbers of the items he is interested in; such a card can be mailed free of charge. Jack thinks he is saving time […]...
21. A psychiatrist met a friend and exclaimed A psychiatrist met a friend and exclaimed, “I heard you died.” “But you see I’m alive,” smiled the friend. “Impossible,” said the psychiatrist. “The man who told me is much more reliable than you.”...
22. This guy walks into a psychiatrist’s office with a This guy walks into a psychiatrist’s office with a concerned look on his face. “Doc,” he says, “I’m worried. It’s that dream. I’m having it again.” “What dream?” asked the shrink, not really paying attention. “You know,” says the man, “the one where I’m into sadism and bestiality and necrophilia. Should I be worried or […]...
23. Psychiatrist: What is wrong with your brother? Psychiatrist: What is wrong with your brother? Sister: He thinks he’s a chicken. Psychiatrist: How long has be been acting like a chicken? Sister: Three years. We would have come in sooner, but we needed the eggs....
24. Значение идиомы the matter [the matter] {adj.} Not as it should be; wrong. – Used in questionsor with negatives or “if”. Why don’t you answer me? What’s thematter? John may be slow in arithmetic, but nothing’s the matterwith his pitching arm. If anything is the matter, please tell me....
25. Text Messaging I was supposed to meet Jenny at the library, but I was late. Jenny Texted me: “I M @ lib wher r u?” I’m not very good at texting so I used a Template to say I was going to be late. When I arrived at the library, Jenny laughed at me because she knew […]...
26. A very homely young woman made an appointment with a psychiatrist A very homely young woman made an appointment with a psychiatrist. She walked into his office and said, “Doctor, I’m so depressed and lonely. I don’t have any friends, no man will come near me, and everybody laughs at me. Can you help me accept my ugliness?” “I’m sure I can,” the psychiatrist replied. “Just […]...
27. Перевод идиомы at random, значение выражения и пример использования Идиома: at random Перевод: наугад, наобум, беспорядочно Пример: The members of the team were chosen at random from among the regular players. Члены команды были наугад выбраны из постоянных игроков....
28. Describing Order and Sequence Patrick: Okay, your first Task is To put all of these files in order. Maya: Wow, there must be hundreds of files in this Storeroom. How am I supposed to organize them? Patrick: Create a basic Filing system. Put things in Sequence. If they’re Labeled with dates, put them in Chronological order. If they’re labeled […]...
29. Play the Office Game Here’s a way to spice up your office. Pick two or three colleagues and agree to play the Office Game which awards points as follows: ONE POINT Run one lap around the office at top speed. Walk sideways to the photocopier. Find the vacuum and start vacuuming around your desk. When they’re not looking, pour […]...
30. Phone keeps ringing The following is supposedly a true story. To be included, besides being true, the story is most likely strange, weird, surprising, or funny. Phone Won’t Stop Ringing? Here’s What You Do Leola Starling of Ribrock, Tenn., had a serious telephone problem. But unlike most people she did something about it. The brand-new $10 million Ribrock […]...
31. A man answers the phone and has the following A man answers the phone and has the following conversation: “Yes, mother, I’ve had a hard day. Gladys has been most difficult – I know I ought to be more firm, but it is hard. Well, you know how she is. “Yes, I remember you warned me. I remember you told me that she was […]...
32. Phone joke II One night when you have a few friends around, take turns calling the same phone number, a really obnoxious acquaintance that won’t recognize your voices is always a good choice. When the person answers, try to leave a message for John Smith (or any name that sounds real). Insist that you have the right number […]...
33. Phone songs All of the following songs may be played on a touch-tone phone. Commas are pauses, and hyphens are held notes. Mary Had A Little Lamb 3212333, 222, 399, 3212333322321 or 3212333, 222, 133, 3212333322321 Jingle Bells 333, 333, 39123, 666-663333322329, 333, 333, 39123, 666-6633, 399621 Frere Jacques 1231, 1231, 369, 369, 9*9631, 9*9631, 111, 111 […]...
34. A Jewish man has just won the lottery and invites A Jewish man has just won the lottery and invites his family to a dinner. He then stands up to thank everyone. “First I must thank my beautiful wife for her help and support, then I want to thank my children, and the lottery commission.” “Then I would like to thank Adolf Hitler”. Suddenly everyone […]...
35. Phone joke A few months ago I saw a newspaper clipping which told of a newspaper in Illinois (I think…) which ran a story warning consumers that, on such-and – such day, Illinois Bell would be “blowing the dust out of the phone lines” and that all phone owners should cover the earpiece of their phones with […]...
36. Перевод слова answer Answer – отвечать, откликаться; ответ Перевод слова To give an answer – отвечать the answer to 3 17 is 51 – 3×17 равно 51 definite answer – ясный и точный ответ double answer – двусмысленный ответ He gave a coy Answer. Он дал уклончивый ответ. Who knows the Answer? Кто знает ответ? I will Answer […]...
37. Annoying phone calls The following is supposedly a true story. To be included, besides being true, the story is most likely strange, weird, surprising, or funny. A co-worker of mine fielded phone calls from his Alumni Association every three months for about five years, ostensibly checking to see that his records were up to date, and coincidentally asking […]...
38. Значение идиомы no matter [no matter] 1. Not anything important. I wanted to see himbefore he left but it’s no matter. 2. It makes no difference;regardless of. She was going to be a singer no matter whatdifficulties she met. He had to get the car fixed no matter howmuch it cost. No matter what you try to do, it […]...
39. A man spoke frantically into the phone A man spoke frantically into the phone: “My wife is pregnant and her contractions are only two minutes apart!” “Is this her first child?” the emergency operator asked. “No, you idiot!” the man shouted. “This is her husband!”...
40. Corporal Conroy needed to use a pay phone Corporal Conroy needed to use a pay phone, but didn’t have change for a dollar. He saw Private Duncan mopping the base’s corridor floors, and asked him, “Soldier, do you have change for a dollar?” Private Duncan replied, “Sure.” The Corporal turned red. He said, “That’s no way to address a superior officer! Now let’s […]...