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1. Letting Go of the PastEmma: I think It’s time. Uday: I Beg to differ. Emma: You can’t Live in the past. I know that you like Reliving your Glory days, but the only way To move on is To let go of the past. Uday: I don’t want to move on. If you’ve had the life I’ve had, you’d ... Читать далее...
2. Two men met at a bar and struck up a conversationTwo men met at a bar and struck up a conversation. After a while one of them said, «You think you have family problems? Listen to my situation: A few years ago I met a young widow with a grown-up daughter and we got married. Lately, my father married my stepdaughter. That made my stepdaughter ... Читать далее...
3. Irishman declares warSaddam Hussein is sitting at home when the phone rings. He picks it up and says «Hello». The voice at the end of the phone says «Hello Mr. Hussein, it’s Paddy here. I’m just ringing to let you know that we’ve declared war on your country.» SH smiles to himself, «Come on Paddy», he says, ... Читать далее...
4. Two young brothers, aged 5 and 6Two young brothers, aged 5 and 6, are listening through the keyhole as their older sister is getting it on with her new boyfriend. They hear her say, «Oh, Jim, you’re going where no man has gone before!» The six-year-old says to his brother, «He must be fucking her up the ass!»...
5. Iraqi vs. AmericanAverage Iraqi Has visited the convergence of the Tigris and Euphrates, cradle of the ancient civilization founded by his ancestors Average American Once got really sick on the Wild Mouse ride at Six Flags theme park Average Iraqi Willing to participate in Holy War for his nation Average American Willing to participate in People’s Choice ... Читать далее...
6. A Fist FightIsabella: What are you doing?! Why are you trying to hit that guy? Tony: He Deserves it. He Insulted you. I’m going To knock his block off! Isabella: Stop it! Be Civilized. This isn’t some Free-for-all. You can’t Punch a guy just because he said something Offensive. Tony: Oh, yes I can. Let me at ... Читать далее...
7. Перевод слова brotherBrother — брат Перевод слова Older brother — старший брат blood brother — кровный, родной брат full brother — родной брат I owe my Brother $50. Я задолжал моему брату $50. He is my own Brother. Он мой родной брат. You’ll like my Brother. Ты похож на моего брата. Интересные факты Warner Brothers Entertainment, Inc. ... Читать далее...
8. Перевод слова ownerOwner — владелец, собственник Перевод слова Joint owner — совладелец right owner — законный владелец the owner of a car — владелец автомобиля I met the Owner of the local hotel. Я встретил владельца местного отеля. The Owner’s mark was on all the sheep. Клеймо владельца стояло на всех овцах. The Owner is having to ... Читать далее...
9. Showing Off a New PurchaseMonica: Wow, Check you out! When did you buy a new car? Kevin: This isn’t just any new car. It’s a Ferrari. Monica: I can see that. It must have Set you back a few. Kevin: Yeah, but it was Worth it. You should see the looks I get riding around in this Baby. My ... Читать далее...
10. Showing Off a New PurchaseMonica: Wow, Check you out! When did you buy a new car? Kevin: This isn’t just any new car. It’s a Ferrari. Monica: I can see that. It must have Set you back a few. Kevin: Yeah, but it was Worth it. You should see the looks I get riding around in this Baby. My ... Читать далее...
11. Asking About Business HoursStore owner: Hello. Karin: Hello, is this Joe’s Shoe Repair? Store owner: Yes, how can I help you? Karin: I’m calling to find out your Business hours. Store owner: We’re open 24/7. Karin: Really? You’re open 24 hours a day, Seven days a week? Store owner: Yes, we are, More often than not. Of course ... Читать далее...
12. A six year old comes cryingA six year old comes crying to his Mother because his little sister pulled his hair. «Don’t be angry,» the Mother says, «Your little sister doesn’t realize that pulling hair hurts.» A short while later, there’s more crying, and the Mother goes to investigate. This time the sister is bawling and her brother says… «Now ... Читать далее...
13. We have new babiesFor weeks a six-year old lad kept telling his first-grade teacher about the baby brother or sister that was expected at his house. One day the mother allowed the boy to feel the movements of the unborn child. The six-year old was obviously impressed, but made no comment. Furthermore, he stopped telling his teacher about ... Читать далее...
14. Sisters and BrothersВ топике Братья и сестры — я хочу рассказать, как хорошо, когда у тебя есть самые родные люди, готовые поддержать в любую минуту. Часто в детстве, у детей в семье бывают конфликты между собой, по разным причинам: они делят игрушки, родителей, не могут жить в одной комнате, стараются превзойти в чем-то своих братьев, сестер и ... Читать далее...
15. I have a magical dancing duckA circus owner walked into a bar to see everyone crowded about a table watching a little show. On the table was an upside down pot and a duck tap dancing on it. The circus owner was so impressed that he offered to buy the duck from its owner. After some wheeling and dealing, they ... Читать далее...
16. Death of Energizer BunnyThe world was stunned by the news, this morning, of the death of the Energizer Bunny. He was six years old. Authorities believe that the death occurred at approximately 8:42PM last evening. Best known as the irritating pink bunny that kept going and going and going, «Pinkie» as he was known to his friends and ... Читать далее...
17. A dancing duckA circus owner walked into a bar to see everyone crowded about a table watching a little show. On the table was an upside down pot and a duck tap dancing on it. The circus owner was so impressed that he offered to buy the duck from its owner. After some wheelin’ and dealin’ they ... Читать далее...
18. Billy Ray and Billie Bob are driving home from a partyBilly Ray and Billie Bob are driving home from a party. BR runs a red light. BB says, «Hey! What the fuck are you doing! That light was red!» BR replies, «Don’t worry, my brother does it all the time, it’s OK.» Then he does it again. BB: » Damn it, you done it again!» ... Читать далее...
19. Psychiatrist: What is wrong with your brother?Psychiatrist: What is wrong with your brother? Sister: He thinks he’s a chicken. Psychiatrist: How long has be been acting like a chicken? Sister: Three years. We would have come in sooner, but we needed the eggs....
20. The owner of a small crossroads store in South CarolinaThe owner of a small crossroads store in South Carolina was appointed postmaster. Over six months went by and not one piece of mail left towm. Deeply concerned, postal authorities in Washington wrote the postmaster to inquire why. They received this short and simple explantion: «The bag ain’t full yet.»...
21. A blind man walks into a restaurant and sits downA blind man walks into a restaurant and sits down. The waiter, who is also the owner, walks up to the blind man and hands him a menu. «I’m sorry sir, but I am blind, and can’t read the menu. Just bring me a dirty fork from a previous customer, I’ll smell it and order ... Читать далее...
22. Confuse traffic signsA cop pulls over a carload of nuns. Cop: «Sister, this is a 65 MPH highway — why are you going so slow?» Sister: «Sir, I saw a lot of signs that said 22, not 65.» Cop: «Oh sister, that’s not the speed limit, that’s the name of the highway you’re on! Sister: Oh! Silly ... Читать далее...
23. Mr. Smith was brought to Mercy HospitalMr. Smith was brought to Mercy Hospital (a Catholic hospital), and taken quickly in for coronary surgery. The operation went well and, as the groggy man regained consciousness, he was reassured by a Sister of Mercy, who was waiting by his bed. «Mr. Smith, you’re going to be just fine,» said the nun, gently patting ... Читать далее...
24. Describing People’s PersonalitiesJoann: Oh, are those pictures of your kids? Artem: Yes. These are my three daughters and these are my two sons. Joann: Your sons look so alike. Are they similar in Personality, too? Artem: It’s funny you ask that. My wife and I are always saying how different they are from one another, even though ... Читать далее...
25. Перевод слова sisterSister — сестра, родственный Перевод слова Twin sister — сестра-двойняшка lay sister — послушница sister cities — города-побратимы sister languages — близкородственные языки She’s my twin Sister. Она — моя сестра-близнец. Do you know my Sister? Вы знаете мою сестру? He bequeathed his property to his Sister. Он завещал свое имущество сестре....
26. How Smart Are You?How Smart Are You? —————— 20 Correct — Genius 17 Correct — Above Normal 15 Correct — Normal 8 Correct — Nincompoop 6 Correct — Moron 3 Correct — Idiot QUESTIONS 1. Do they have a 4th of July in England? 2. How many birthdays does the average man have? 3. Some months have 31 ... Читать далее...
27. Cops: Would-be robbers nabbed after restaurant owner says ‘come back’, and they doTwo men made it easy for authorities to catch them after they tried to hold up a West Rogers Park restaurant using a squirt gun but were told by the owner to return in an hour, officials said. When Mario Garcia, 39, and Domingo Garcia-Hernandez, 28, went back to the restaurant on the 6400 block ... Читать далее...
28. Bying a horseThis guy owns a horse stud farm, and gets a call from a friend «I know this midget with a speech impediment who wants to buy a horse, I’m sending him over.» The midget arrives, and the owner asks if he wants a male or female horse. «A female horth,» the midget replies. So the ... Читать далее...
29. Перевод идиомы lesser of two evils, значение выражения и пример использованияИдиома: lesser of two evils Перевод: меньшее из двух зол Пример: The voters had to choose the lesser of two evils when they had to choose between the two candidates for mayor. Избирателям пришлось выбирать меньшее из двух зол, когда у них стоял выбор между двумя кандидатами в мэры....
30. I wrote it!There was this guy walking down the road when he noticed a night club ahead. He went in, went up to the bar and asked for a drink. The bar owner, who was tending bar, said, «I’ve never seen you in her before.» The guy says, «Yes, I’m not from around here. I’m just passing ... Читать далее...
31. A young Indian boy came back to the reservationA young Indian boy came back to the reservation for a family visit after his first year at college. When his dad asked him about his first year at school, he said: I’m having trouble with people making fun of me, especially my Indian name. How did you come to give your children such odd ... Читать далее...
32. Running a Family-Owned BusinessWhen I took over the family business three years ago, I didn’t know what I was Letting myself in for. My uncle, who ran the business before me, established a cLear chain of command, which I thought would Eliminate infighting and Bickering. I couldn’t have been more wrong. Despite Clear lines of authority, family members ... Читать далее...
33. A Family PartyI visit my Hometown about once a year. This year, I was In town for about five days and there was a family Get-together. It wasn’t a Family reunion since it was just my Immediate family, but still, there were a total of about 45 people who Showed up. Our family parties are always held ... Читать далее...
34. New son-in-lawA very successful businessman had a meeting with his new son-in-law. «I love my daughter, and now I welcome you into the family,» said the man. «To show you how much we care for you, I’m making you a 50-50 partner in my business. All you have to do is go to the factory every ... Читать далее...
35. With a puzzled look on his faceWith a puzzled look on his face an Indian boy asked, «Say, mom, why is my bigger brother named Mighty Storm?» She told him, «Because he was conceived during a mighty storm.» Then he asked, «Why is my sister named Cornflower?» She replied, «Well, your father and I were in a cornfield when we made ... Читать далее...
36. The Only Child in a FamilyТопик Единственный ребенок в семье — рассказывает о преимуществах и недостатках того, что в семье воспитывается лишь один ребенок. Если ребенок – единственный, то все свое внимание родители уделяют только ему, заботятся о его образовании и, по некоторым данным, такому ребенку легче стать лидером в его будущей взрослой жизни. С другой стороны, в многодетных семьях ... Читать далее...
37. Giving Birth to TwinsJerome: Congratulations! I just heard that you’re Pregnant with Twins. Paula: Thanks. We’re very excited, although I’m a little worried about a Multiple birth. Jerome: I Come from a long line of multiple births. My father is an Identical twin and he had cousins who are Fraternal twins. Paula: I see what you mean. Jerome: ... Читать далее...
38. Naming your childThere was a woman who was pregnant with twins, and shortly before they were due, she had an accident and went into a coma. Her husband was away on business, and unable to be reached. While in the coma, she gave birth to her twins, and the only person around to name her children was ... Читать далее...
39. Значение идиомы poles apart[poles apart] {adj.} Completely different. The two brothers werepoles apart in personality. It was hard for the members to makeany decisions because their ideas were poles apart....
40. Перевод слова eliminateEliminate — устранять, исключать, ликвидировать Перевод слова To eliminate errors — устранять ошибки to eliminate the hazard — устранять опасную ситуацию to eliminate war — ликвидировать войны Fatty foods should be Eliminated from the diet. Жирную пищу следует исключить из рациона. Our team was Eliminated in the first round. Наша команда выбыла в первом раунде. ... Читать далее...