One day in the Garden of Eden

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1. After the fall in Garden of EdenAfter the fall in Garden of Eden, Adam was walking with his sons Cain and Abel. They passed by the ruins of the Garden of Eden. One of the boys asked, «What’s that?» Adam replied, «Boys, that’s where your mother ate us out of house and home.»...
2. Перевод слова gardenGarden — сад Перевод слова At the bottom of his garden — в конце сада the boweriest part of the garden — самая тенистая часть сада to maintain a garden — ухаживать за садом vegetable garden — огород My hobby is Gardening. Мое хобби — садоводство. The Garden enchanted her. Сад очаровал ее. The Garden ... Читать далее...
3. Guns in a gardenAn aging man lived alone in Ireland. His only son was in Long Kesh Prison and he didn’t know anyone who would spade up his potato garden. The old man wrote to his son about it and received this reply. «For Heavens SAKES, don’t dig up that garden, that’s where I buried the GUNS!!! At ... Читать далее...
4. Working in the gardenA prisioner in jail received a letter from his wife: «I have decided to plant some lettuce in the back garden. When is the best time to plant them?» The prisioner, knowing that the prison guards read all the mail, replied in a letter: «Dear Wife, whatever you do, DO NOT touch the back garden! ... Читать далее...
5. Little Lucy was playing in the garden when sheLittle Lucy was playing in the garden when she spotted two spiders mating. «Daddy, what are those two spiders doing?» «They’re mating, Lucy» he replied. «What do you call the spider on top Daddy?» Lucy asked. «Oh, that’s a Daddy Longlegs. Lucy asked, «Oh, so one’s a Daddy Longlegs and the other one is a ... Читать далее...
6. Перевод слова snakeSnake — змея, гадина Перевод слова A poisonous snake — ядовитая змея a harmless snake — безвредная змея sea snake — морской змей He was bitten by a Snake. Его укусила змея. The Snake cast off its old skin. Змея сбросила старую кожу. The Snake reared its head. Змея подняла голову....
7. Перевод идиомы lead someone down / up the garden path, значение выражения и пример использованияИдиома: lead someone down / up the garden path Перевод: обманывать кого-либо, вводить кого-либо в заблуждение, водить кого-либо за нос Пример: The young woman was leading her boyfriend down the garden path when she promised to marry him. Молодая женщина водила за нос своего парня, когда пообещала ему выйти за него замуж....
8. Little Johnny sat playing in the gardenLittle Johnny sat playing in the garden. When his mother came out to collect him, she saw that he was slowly eating a worm. She turned pale. «No, Johnny! Stop! That’s horrible! You can’t eat worms!» Trying to convince him further, «Now the mother worm is looking all over for her nice baby-worm.» «No, she ... Читать далее...
9. What and who am IA snake and a rabbit were racing along a pair of intersecting forest pathways one day, when they collided at the intersection. They immediately began to argue with one another as to who was at fault for the mishap. When the snake remarked that he had been blind since birth, and thus should be given ... Читать далее...
10. Reward for goodnessThree men died in a car accident and met Jesus himself at the Pearly Gates. The Lord spoke unto them saying, «I will ask you each a simple question. If you tell the truth I will allow you into heaven, but if you lie….Hell is waiting for you. To the first man the Lord asked, ... Читать далее...
11. The ages of manGod created the mule, and told him, ‘you will be Mule, working constantly from dusk to dawn, carrying heavy loads on your back. You will eat grass and you lack intelligence. You will live for 50 years. The mule answered: ‘To live like this for 50 years is too much. Please, give me no more ... Читать далее...
12. Значение идиомы to hell with[to hell with] or [the hell with] {prep. phr.}, {informal} Used toexpress disgusted rejection of something. It’s slop; the hell withwhat the cook calls it. Compare: FED UP, GIVE A HANG....
13. Hungry SnakeHaving arived at the edge of the river, the fisherman soon realized he had forgotten to bring any bait. Just then he happened to see a little snake passing by who had caught a worm. The fisherman snatched up the snake and robbed him of his worm. Feeling sorry for the little snake with no ... Читать далее...
14. Seymour was a good and pious manSeymour was a good and pious man, and when he passed away, the Lord himself greeted him at the pearly gates of heaven. «Hungry, Seymour?» the Lord asked. «I could eat,» said Seymour. The Lord opened a can of tuna, and they shared it. While eating this humble meal, Seymour looked down into Hell and ... Читать далее...
15. Gates gets punishmentBill Gates suddenly dies and finds himself face to face with God. God stood over Bill Gates and said, «Well Bill, I’m really confused on this one. It’s a tough decision; I’m not sure whether to send you to Heaven or Hell. After all, you helped society enormously by putting a computer in almost every ... Читать далее...
16. Planting a GardenJoni: Smell that! Giuseppe: Smell what? Joni: Smell that Fresh air. Aren’t you glad I got you to help me Plant this Garden? We’re going to have so much fun today. Giuseppe: Uh huh. I’m glad to help, but I don’t exactly have a Green thumb. Joni: That’s okay. As long as you can Tell ... Читать далее...
17. The definition of a phallic symbolThis girl walks in to a doctors office and she asks «Whats a failic symbol? Doctor says «you’re kidding..» Girl says «no! I don’t know! Whats a failic symbol???» Doctor pulls his pants and underwear down and says «You see? This is a failic symbol!» Girl says «Oh! Its just like a penis, only smaller»...
18. Значение идиомы hell[hell] See: COME HELL OR HIGH WATER, GO THROUGH HELL AND HIGHWATER, HELL-ON-WHEELS, LIKE HELL, TO HELL WITH, UNTIL HELL FREEZESOVER, WHEN HELL FREEZES OVER....
19. Значение идиомы snake in the grass[snake in the grass] {n. phr.}, {informal} A person who cannot betrusted; an unfaithful traitor; rascal. Did Harry tell you that? He’s a snake in the grass! Some snake in the grass told theteacher our plans....
20. Capitalist and Socialist HellA young, ruthless executive died and went to hell. When he got there, he saw one sign that said Capitalist Hell, and another that said Socialist Hell. In front of the Socialist Hell was an incredibly long line, while there was no-one in front of the Capitalist Hell. So the executive asked the guard, «What ... Читать далее...
21. Saddam Hussein calls President Clinton and tells himSaddam Hussein calls President Clinton and tells him, «Bill, I had a wonderful dream last night. I could see America, the whole beautiful country, and on each house I saw a banner.» «What did it say on the banners?» Clinton asks. Saddam replies, «Allah is god, god is Allah.» Clinton says, «You know, Saddam, I ... Читать далее...
22. The ReverendFrancis Norton woke up Sunday morning and realizing it was an exceptionally beautiful and sunny early spring day, decided he just had to play golf. So… he told the Associate Pastor that he was feeling sick and convinced him to say Mass for him that day. As soon as the Associate Pastor left the room, ... Читать далее...
23. Перевод слова hellHell — ад, преисподня; черт (ругательство) Перевод слова To make smb.’s life a hell — превратить чью-л. жизнь в ад to suffer through hell — переносить муки ада oh hell! — черт возьми! hell of a way — чертовски далеко Who the Hell are you? Кто ты такой, черт побери? To Hell with the flaming ... Читать далее...
24. Значение идиомы a hell of[a hell of] a [or one hell of a] {adj. or adv. phr.}, {informal} Extraordinary; very. He made a hell of a shot during the basketball game. Max said seven months was a hell of a time to have to wait for a simple visa. The fall Max took left one hell of a bruise ... Читать далее...
25. A fellow dies, goes to hell, and is surprised whenA fellow dies, goes to hell, and is surprised when confronted by a room full of beautiful blondes and kegs of beer. He asks a nearby demon if this is really hell, and what was so bad about the place. «Well,» said the demon, «the kegs all have holes in the bottoms, and the blondes ... Читать далее...
26. Build an ArkThe Lord said to Noah, «In six months, I’m going to make it rain until the earth is covered with water and all the evil is destroyed. I want you to build an ark and save two of each animal species. Here are the blueprints for the ark.» Six months passed. The skies began to ... Читать далее...
27. A city boy was visiting the country andA city boy was visiting the country and wanted to go hunting. The farmer lent the boy his gun, telling him not to kill any farm animals. The city boy headed off and soon after saw a goat. He managed to creep into range and finally shot it. Not knowing anything about animals, the boy ... Читать далее...
28. Перевод слова lordLord — господин, повелитель; командовать, помыкать Перевод слова Our sovereign lord the King — король, наш верховный повелитель the House of Lords — палата лордов lord of the manor — владелец поместья he will not be lorded over — он не позволит командовать собой He Lords it over his friends. Он помыкает своими друзьями. Lord ... Читать далее...
29. Nature of HellA thermodynamics professor had written a take home exam for his graduate students. It had one question: Is Hell exothermic (gives off heat) or endothermic (absorbs heat)? Support your answer with a proof.» Most of the students wrote proofs of their beliefs using Boyle’s Law (gas cools off when it expands and heats up when ... Читать далее...
30. Перевод слова wonderfulWonderful — замечательный, удивительный, поразительный Перевод слова There is a wonderful likeness — сходство поразительное you look wonderful — вы выглядите великолепно how wonderful! — замечательно!, чудесно! As a writer, he’s Wonderful. Как писатель он великолепен. He can write Wonderful anacreontics. Ему прекрасно удается любовная лирика. It was just Wonderful to see her again. Было ... Читать далее...
31. A husband and wife were out playing golfA husband and wife were out playing golf. They tee off and one drive goes to the right and one drive goes to the left. The wife finds her ball in a patch of buttercups. She grabs a club and takes a mighty swing at the ball. She hits a beautiful second shot, but in ... Читать далее...
32. How the creators of Airplane! pulled off one of the funniest jokes we’ve ever heardHoly hell! This is one of the funniest stories we’ve heard in a long time. Ask yourself, «how far are you willing to go for a joke?» Once you’ve determined that, realize that David Zucker is willing to take it even further. First some background. David Zucker and his brother Jerry Zucker are part of ... Читать далее...
33. Перевод слова leastLeast — менее всего, малейший Перевод слова Nobody can complain, you least of all — никто не может жаловаться, а вы и подавно least beautiful — самый некрасивый the least chance — малейший шанс The garter snake is the Least dangerous snake Садовая змея наименее опасная из змей. To say the Least of it, the ... Читать далее...
34. A guy bought his wife a beautiful diamond ring forA guy bought his wife a beautiful diamond ring for Christmas. A friend of his said, «I thought she wanted one of those sporty 4-Wheel drive vehicles.» «She did,» he replied. «But where in the hell was I gonna find a fake Jeep?»...
35. Значение идиомы like hell[like hell] {adv.}, {slang}, {vulgar}, {avoidable} 1. With greatvigor. As soon as they saw the cops, they ran like hell. 2.{interj.} Not so; untrue; indicates the speaker’s lack of belief inwhat he heard. Like hell you’re gonna bring me my dough!...
36. Love JesusBy Dennis DiPasquale The other day I went to the local religious book store, where I saw a HONK IF YOU LOVE JESUS bumper sticker. I bought it and put it on the back bumper of my car, and I’m really glad I did. What an uplifting experience followed. I was stopped at the light ... Читать далее...
37. Some professionsA psychologist is a man who watches everyone else when a beautiful girl enters the room. A professor is one who talks in someone else’s sleep. A schoolteacher is a disillusioned woman who used to think she liked children. A consultant is someone who takes the watch off your wrist and tells you the time. ... Читать далее...
38. A man was leaving church one dayA man was leaving church one day. The Pastor was standing at the door (as he always is) to shake hands with members of the congregation. He grasped the man by the hand and pulled him aside. The Pastor said to him, «You need to join the Army of the Lord!» The man replied, «I’m ... Читать далее...
39. Noah And Today’s ArkNoah And Today’s Ark The Lord spoke to Noah and said, «Noah, in six months I am going to make it rain until the whole world is covered with water and all the evil things are destroyed. But, I want to save a few good people and two of every living thing on the planet. ... Читать далее...
40. An old man is sitting on the park bench cryingAn old man is sitting on the park bench crying. Another old man sits down next to him and says, «Mister, what’s the problem?» The old man wipes the tears from his eyes and explains, «I’ve got this beautiful, 35 year old wife, and all she wants to do is make love from the moment ... Читать далее...