One day a priest went into a public bathroom to use the stall

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1. Using the RestroomDenzel: Excuse me, where is the Restroom? Server: It’s down the hall, on your left. Denzel: Thanks. When I got into the bathroom, it was a Mess. I walked into a Stall and there was Toilet paper all over the floor. There were no Toilet seat covers and the Toilet wouldn’t Flush. Even the Toilet ... Читать далее...
2. Buying Bathroom SuppliesJan: We’re almost done. We just need to get some bathroom Supplies for Kimberly. Tim: Okay, here are some Towels, a Bathmat and a Bathroom scale. Don’t forget the cleaning supplies. She’ll need some Rubber gloves, Disinfectant, Bowl cleaner, and a Plunger. Jan: All right. We have all that. Where are you going? Tim: She’ll ... Читать далее...
3. Buying Bathroom SuppliesJan: We’re almost done. We just need to get some bathroom Supplies for Kimberly. Tim: Okay, here are some Towels, a Bathmat and a Bathroom scale. Don’t forget the cleaning supplies. She’ll need some Rubber gloves, Disinfectant, Bowl cleaner, and a Plunger. Jan: All right. We have all that. Where are you going? Tim: She’ll ... Читать далее...
4. A Rabbi and a Priest were sitting together on a trainA Rabbi and a Priest were sitting together on a train, and the Rabbi leans over and asks, «So how high can you advance in your organization?» The Priest says «If I am lucky, I guess I could become a Bishop.» «Well, could you get any higher than that?» asks the Rabbi. «I suppose that ... Читать далее...
5. Перевод слова priestPriest — священник Перевод слова To ordain a priest — посвящать в духовный сан priest’s trappings — внешние атрибуты священника priest brethren — братья в священстве We thanked the Priest for his kind words. Мы поблагодарили священника за теплые слова. A Priest, vested in surplice. Священник, облаченный в стихарь. A Priest has eased me of ... Читать далее...
6. A Lutheran pastor, a Catholic priest and a RabbiA Lutheran pastor, a Catholic priest and a Rabbi were fishing from a boat not from the lake shore. The pastor had to make a trip to the port-a-potty located on the shore, so he got out of the boat, walked across the water and in the same matter, came back to the boat after ... Читать далее...
7. Before performing a baptism, the priest approachedBefore performing a baptism, the priest approached the young father and said solemnly, «Baptism is a serious step. Are you prepared for it?» «I think so,» the man replied. «My wife has made appetizers and we have a caterer coming to provide plenty of cookies and cakes for all of our guests.» «I don’t mean ... Читать далее...
8. Перевод слова bathroomBathroom — ванная комната, уборная Перевод слова Bathroom fitment — сантехника hog the bathroom — занять надолго ванную и никого туда не пускать bathroom pod — санкабина The Bathroom is occupied. Ванная занята. The Bathroom’s a bit chilly. В ванной комнате прохладно. The Bathroom is up the stairs. Ванная комната вверх по лестнице. Происхождение слова ... Читать далее...
9. A boy finished cutting the lawn of a priestA boy finished cutting the lawn of a priest…the grass was very thick and long, and it took the boy about 4 hours to cut. He approached the Father for payment and the priest paid him $1.00. The boy said «Thank you, virgin Father!» The priest replied, «What did you say?» The boy repeated, «Thank ... Читать далее...
10. The priest was preparing a manThe priest was preparing a man for his long day’s journey into night. Whispering firmly, the priest said, «Denounce the Devil! Let him know how little you think of his evil!» The dying man said nothing. The priest repeated his order. Still the dying man said nothing. The priest asked, «Why do you refuse to ... Читать далее...
11. Значение идиомы air one’s dirty linen in public[air one’s dirty linen in public] or [wash one’s dirty linen in public] {v. phr.} To talk about your private quarrels or disgraces where others can hear; make public something embarrassing that should be kept secret. Everyone in the school knew that the superintendent and the principal were angry with each other because they aired ... Читать далее...
12. Значение идиомы in public[in public] {adv. phr.} 1. In a place open to the people; in such away that the public may see, hear, or know; not secretly; openly. Two boys down the street are dancing in public for pennies. Actors are used to appearing in public. The mayor has told hisfriends that he is sick but will ... Читать далее...
13. A priest and a rabbi operated a church and a synagogueA priest and a rabbi operated a church and a synagogue across the street from each other. Since their schedules intertwined, they decided to go in together to buy a car. So they did. They drove it home and parked it in the street between their establishments. A few minutes later, the rabbi looked out ... Читать далее...
14. A young priest, who is still unsure of the penance to dole outA young priest, who is still unsure of the penance to dole out during confession, asks an older priest what he should give a cocksucker. «Oh,» says the older priest, «give the altar boy a dollar or so, if you feel like it. Personally, I never give them more than fifty cents.»...
15. A fun gameWhile your sitting on the toilet you see written on the stall door: Congratulations! You’ve won one free game of Toilet Tennis! Look Left. You look left and it reads: Look Right You look right and it reads: Look Left…...
16. An Irish priest and a Rabbi found themselves sharingAn Irish priest and a Rabbi found themselves sharing a compartment on a train. After a while, the priest opened a conversation by saying «I know that, in your religion, you’re not supposed to eat pork…Have you actually ever tasted it? The Rabbi said, «I must tell the truth. Yes, I have, on the odd ... Читать далее...
17. A priest and a lawyer are walking downA priest and a lawyer are walking down the street and see a small boy eating an ice cream. The priest says, «How’d you like to fuck that?» To which the lawyer replied, «Out of what?»...
18. A priest was vested in his surplus and cassockA priest was vested in his surplus and cassock ready to process at the beginning of the service. His surplus was very ornate and he was swinging the incense pot which had smoke coming from it. A lady touched him on the shoulder and said, «Darling, I love your dress; but your purse is on ... Читать далее...
19. A priest is walking down the street one day whenA priest is walking down the street one day when he notices a very small boy trying to press a doorbell on a house across the street. However, the boy is very small and the doorbell is too high for him to reach. After watching the boys efforts for some time, the priest moves closer ... Читать далее...
20. A husband emerged from the bathroom naked andA husband emerged from the bathroom naked and was climbing into bed when his wife complained, as usual, «I have a headache.» «Perfect» her husband said. «I was just in the bathroom powdering my penis with aspirin. You can take it orally or as a suppository,… it’s up to you!»...
21. Перевод идиомы air one’s dirty laundry in public / air one’s dirty linen in public, значение выражения и пример использованияИдиома: air one’s dirty laundry in public / air one’s dirty linen in public Идиома: air one’s dirty laundry in public / air one’s dirty linen in public Перевод: выносить на достояние общественности что-либо неприятное, что должно держаться в тайне Пример: The dinner party became uncomfortable when the host began to air his colleague’s dirty ... Читать далее...
22. Перевод слова toiletToilet — туалет, уборная; костюм, одевание Перевод слова Morning toilet — утренний туалет summer toilets of the ladies — летние туалеты дам toilet stall — кабина в уборной Mummy, I need to go to the Toilet! Мамочка, мне нужно в туалет! She made Tina flush the pills down the Toilet. Она заставила Тину спустить таблетки ... Читать далее...
23. Перевод слова publicPublic — общественный, народный, публичный Перевод слова Public opinion — общественное мнение public morality — общественная мораль public library — публичная библиотека public lecture — публичная лекция Don’t bawl in Public! Не орите в общественных местах! Her trial will be Public. Судебное разбирательство по ее делу будет открытым. It is too Public here. Здесь слишком ... Читать далее...
24. Перевод идиомы wash one’s dirty laundry in public / wash one’s dirty linen in public, значение выражения и пример использованияИдиома: wash one’s dirty laundry in public / wash one’s dirty linen in public Идиома: wash one’s dirty laundry in public / wash one’s dirty linen in public Перевод: выносить на достояние общественности что-либо неприятное, что должно держаться в тайне Пример: The man began to wash his best friend’s dirty linen in public after he ... Читать далее...
25. Значение идиомы public-address system[public-address system] {n.} A set of devices for making aspeaker’s voice louder so that he can be heard by more people. Thepublic-address system broke down during the senator’s speech. Thenews was announced over the public-address system....
26. This is what should happen to ALL CATS!This is what should happen to ALL CATS..! HOW TO WASH THE CAT 1. Thoroughly clean the toilet. 2. Add the required amount of shampoo to the toilet water and have both lids up. 3. Find the cat and soothe him while you carry him toward the bathroom. 4. In one smooth movement, put the ... Читать далее...
27. Being Affectionate in PublicNelly: Look at that Couple over there. What they’re doing is Indecent! Sadat: Where? Oh, you mean those two people Hugging and Kissing? That’s not indecent. Nelly: They’re not just hugging and kissing. That girl is Sitting on her boyfriend’s lap and they’re Making out in the middle of a Public place. They need To ... Читать далее...
28. This guy walks in to a bathroomThis guy walks in to a bathroom. There is a hole in the wall, and a sign that says «put your dick in here, we’ll do what your wife does for you». So the guy puts his dick in there, and they sew a button on it....
29. A man and a woman are sitting next to each otherA man and a woman are sitting next to each other at a bar getting drunk. The man turns to the woman and asks her why she’s so down. «My husband just left me. He said I’m too kinky in bed,» she said. «What a coincidence! My wife just left me,» said the man, «she ... Читать далее...
30. The local priest came across Paddy who hadThe local priest came across Paddy who had stumbled out of the town tavern. «Paddy,» he said, » I’m afraid I’ll not be seeing you in Heaven one day.» «Really, Father?» slurred Paddy. «What have you done?»...
31. Issuing a Public ApologyWorking in Public relations, I often have to deal with my clients’ Gaffes and Blunders. My job is to calm any Firestorm before it Gets out of hand. One of the most important things to do whenever there’s been a Misstep is to issue a Public apology. An apology should say Plainly and clearly that ... Читать далее...
32. Little Harry walks in the bathroom and sees his mum withLittle Harry walks in the bathroom and sees his mum with no clothes on, standing in front of him, he looks up at her private parts he asks «What’s that mum? » His mum frozen tried to think what to say, finally she came up with the following, «That’s where your dad accidentially hit me ... Читать далее...
33. Poor Rabbi!A young Jewish couple had only recently set up housekeeping when an unfortunate incident occurred. Early one morning, the wife, drowsy from bed, went to the toilet for the morning’s relief, and neglected to notice that the seat was up. When she sat, she kept going! She was just the right size and shape so ... Читать далее...
34. Running a Pilot ProgramRosalind: How is the Pilot program coming along? Jimmy: We’ll be ready To launch it in another month, but I have some serious Reservations. Rosalind: Like what? Jimmy: We haven’t Worked out all of the bugs yet and we might Come up against some Resistance from the community. Rosalind: Isn’t that the Nature of a ... Читать далее...
35. Falling downThere’s this old priest who got sick of all the people in his parish who kept confessing to adultery. One Sunday, in the pulpit, he said, «If I hear one more person confess to adultery, I’ll quit!» Well, everyone liked him, so they came up with a code word. Someone who had committed adultery would ... Читать далее...
36. Значение идиомы John Q. Public[John Q. Public] {n.} A name used informally for the averagecitizen. It is John Q. Public’s duty to vote at each election. Compare: JOE DOAKES....
37. Перевод слова marriageMarriage — брак, супружество Перевод слова Marriage certificate — свидетельство о заключении брака marriage counsellor — консультант по брачно-семейным отношениям marriage deformed by jealousy — брак, испорченный ревностью He asked for her hand in Marriage. Он попросил ее руки. Their Marriage ended in divorce. Их брак закончился разводом. The priest blessed the Marriage. Священник благословил ... Читать далее...
38. One day Clinton goes to the bathroomOne day Clinton goes to the bathroom, pulls down his pants, and much to his amazement, he finds a red ring around his penis. So the next day he goes to his physician and the doctor says, «I cant figure out what it is. So I’ll give you some medicine, and if it doesn’t work, ... Читать далее...
39. This fellow comes to confessionThis fellow comes to confession. «Father, he said, forgive me for I have sinned.» The priest asked, «What did you do, my son?» «I lusted,» the fellow replied. «Tell me about it,» the priest said. The fellow then related his story. «Father, I am a deliveryman for UPS. Yesterday I was making a delivery in ... Читать далее...
40. Marriage quotes 07If your wife wants to learn how to drive, don’t stand in her way. In marriage, as in war, it is permitted to take every advantage of the enemy. In marriage, the bridge gets a shower. But for the groom, it’s curtains! Jimmy Carter as President is like Truman Capote marrying Dolly Parton. The job ... Читать далее...