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1. An easy solutionOn a plane bound for New York the flight attendant approached a blonde sitting in the first class section and requested that she move to coach since she did not have a first class ticket. The blonde replied, «I’m blonde; I’m beautiful; I’m going to New York; and I’m not moving.» Not wanting to argue ... Читать далее...
2. How do you tell if you’re making love to a nurseQ: How do you tell if you’re making love to a nurse, a schoolteacher, or an airline stewardess? A: A nurse says: «This won’t hurt a bit.» A schoolteacher says, «We’re going to have to do this over and over again until we get it right.» An airline stewardess says, «Just hold this over your ... Читать далее...
3. Перевод слова pilotPilot — летчик, пилот, штурман; экспериментальный Перевод слова Airline pilot — летчик гражданской авиации fighter pilot — летчик-истребитель pilot lot — пробная партия pilot system — экспериментальная версия системы The Pilot gave the order to bomb up. Пилот отдал приказ загружать бомбы. The Pilot has logged 1200 flying hours. На счету этого пилота 1200 летных ... Читать далее...
4. Landing at a hidden military baseYou’ve all heard of the Air Force’s ultra-high-security, super-secret base in Nevada, known simply as «Area 51?» Well, late one afternoon, the Air Force folks out at Area 51 were very surprised to see a Cessna landing at their «secret» base. They immediately impounded the aircraft and hauled the pilot into an interrogation room. The ... Читать далее...
5. Ought to be hungWhen the airline Captain announced they were flying over Salt Lake City, Utah, a woman told the man sitting beside her, «I understand this is the home of the Mormon religion where husbands believe it’s OK to have more than one wife.» That’s true,» he replied, «as a matter of fact I happen to be ... Читать далее...
6. Flying on a Budget AirlineAnton: It’s amazing that we were able to get these airline tickets so cheaply. Federica: It’s great, isn’t it? We can fly to Lawrence City for a fun weekend. Let’s Check in using this Kiosk. Anton: Hmm, this is asking me to pay $50 to bring a piece of luggage aboard. I didn’t know there ... Читать далее...
7. A BlondeA Blonde A Blonde was down on her luck. In order to raise some money, she decided to kidnap a kid and hold him for ransom. She went to the playground, grabbed a kid, took him behind a tree, and told him, «I’ve kidnapped you.» She then wrote a note saying, «I’ve kidnapped your kid. ... Читать далее...
8. Значение идиомы overnight[overnight] {adj.} 1. From one evening until the next morning. We could drive from Chicago to Detroit in one day, but it would bemore comfortable if we stayed overnight in a motel. 2. Rapidly. When Tom won the lottery he became a rich man overnight....
9. Перевод слова stewardessStewardess — стюардесса Перевод слова Air stewardess — бортпроводница chief stewardess — старшая стюардесса As such the applicant who is a flight Stewardess can only compare herself to other flight stewardesses. Поэтому истец, которая является стюардессой, может сравнивать себя только с другими стюардессами. First he cheated on me with a Stewardess named Monique. Сначала изменил ... Читать далее...
10. Guy goes to hell and is met by the devilGuy goes to hell and is met by the devil, who explains that the punishments are changed every thousand years and he is to select his first punishment. First room has a young guy on the wall being whipped. The new guy not keen on this asks to see the next room. The next room ... Читать далее...
11. Buying some golf ballsA blonde golfer goes into the pro shop and looks around frowning. Finally the pro askes her what she wants. «I can’t find any green golf balls,» the blonde golfer complains. The pro looks all over the shop, and through all the catalogs, and finally calls the manufacturers and determines that sure enough, there are ... Читать далее...
12. Перевод слова overnightOvernight — всю ночь, накануне вечером; произошедший внезапно Перевод слова Overnight hike — поход с ночевкой an overnight meeting — встреча, состоявшаяся накануне вечером an overnight flight — ночной рейс an overnight success — мгновенный успех The rain Overnight on Sunday helped to damp down the fire. Дождь, шедший всю ночь в воскресенье, помог потушить ... Читать далее...
13. Перевод слова personnelPersonnel — персонал, штат, кадры Перевод слова The personnel of the hospital — персонал больницы to increase personnel — увеличить штат office and management personnel — административно-управленческий аппарат She has a diploma in Personnel management. У нее диплом в области управления персоналом. The department was reinforced with skilled Personnel. Отдел был укреплен квалифицированными кадрами. The ... Читать далее...
14. A mother and her son were flying Southwest AirlinesA mother and her son were flying Southwest Airlines from Kansas to Chicago. The son, who had been looking out the window, turned to his mother and said, «If big dogs have baby dogs and big cats have baby cats, why don’t big planes have baby planes?» The mother, who couldn’t think of an answer, ... Читать далее...
15. Перевод слова airlineAirline — авиалиния, авиакомпания Перевод слова Internal airline — внутренняя авиалиния local airline — местная авиалиния airline schedule — расписание самолетов The Airline is upgrading its fleet. Авиакомпания обновляет свой летный парк. The Airline overbooked the flight. Авиакомпания перебронировалы рейс This Airline’s safety record is impeccable. Репутация этой авиалинии безупречна. . Происхождение слова airline Образовано ... Читать далее...
16. Giving sad news to a troopThe Captain called the Sergeant in. «Sarge, I just got a telegram that Private Jones’ mother died yesterday. Better go tell him and send him in to see me.» So the Sergeant calls for his morning formation and lines up all the troops. «Listen up, men,» says the Sergeant. «Johnson, report to the mess hall ... Читать далее...
17. A blonde walks into the police department looking for a jobA blonde walks into the police department looking for a job. The officer wants to ask her a few questions…. Officer: What’s 2+2? Blonde: Ummmmm… 4! Officer: What’s the square root of 100? Blonde: Ummmm… 10! Officer: Good! Now, who killed Abraham Lincoln? Blonde: Ummmm… I dunno. Officer: Well, you can go home and think ... Читать далее...
18. A helicopter was flying around above SeattleA helicopter was flying around above Seattle yesterday when an electrical malfunction disabled all of aircraft’s electronic navigation and communication equipment. Due to the clouds and haze the pilot could not determine his position or course to steer to the airport. The pilot saw a tall building, flew toward it, circled, drew a handwritted sign ... Читать далее...
19. A young blonde woman is distraughtA young blonde woman is distraught because she fears her husband is having an affair, so she goes to a gun shop and buys a handgun. The next day she comes home to find her husband in bed with a beautiful redhead. She grabs the gun and holds it to her own head. The husband ... Читать далее...
20. Перевод слова arrivalArrival — прибытие Перевод слова Unexpected arrival — неожиданный приезд arrival time — время прибытия arrival platform — платформа, к которой прибывает поезд port of arrival — порт прибытия Call me after your Arrival. Позвоните мне после вашего приезда. He informed us about his Arrival. Он уведомил нас о своем приезде. They were awaiting the ... Читать далее...
21. There was an exhibitionist who was taking a trip on an airplaneThere was an exhibitionist who was taking a trip on an airplane. At the top of the stairs there was a stewardess collecting tickets. When the man got to the top of the stairs, he opened his coat and exposed himself. The stewardess said, «I’m sorry sir. You have to show your ticket here, not ... Читать далее...
22. A blonde was complaining to her friend about constantly beingA blonde was complaining to her friend about constantly being called a dumb blonde. Her friend tells her «go do something to prove them wrong! Why don’t you learn all the state capitals or something?» The blonde thinks this is a great idea, and locks herself up for two weeks studying. The next party she ... Читать далее...
23. Flying in the planeSue and Bob, a pair of tight wads, lived in the mid west, and had been married years. Bob had always want to go flying. The desire deepen each time a barn stormer flew into town to offer rides. Bob would ask, and Sue would say, «No way, ten dollars is ten dollars.» The years ... Читать далее...
24. A blonde came running home to her motherA blonde came running home to her mother, sobbing and hysterical. «What’s wrong?» her mum, (another blonde) asked. «My boyfriend’s just dropped me!» wailed the blonde. Her mother nodded wisely and started to tell her all about the birds and the bees. «No mum,» the blonde interrupted. «You don’t understand — I can fuck and ... Читать далее...
25. A merchant captain and several of his officersA merchant captain and several of his officers were returning to the ship after a big night ashore. As they climbed the gangway the captain threw up all over himself. Pointing to an apprentice seaman above him he shouted, «Give that man five days in the brig for vomiting on me!» The following morning the ... Читать далее...
26. A blonde decided that she was tired of her empty lifeA blonde decided that she was tired of her empty life. She cut her hair and dyed it brown, and set off for a drive. She wanted to do random acts of kindness to see if it would change her life. While driving through the countryside, she came across a farmer who was trying to ... Читать далее...
27. A blonde is speaking to her psychiatristA blonde is speaking to her psychiatrist. «I’m on the road a lot, and my clients are complaining that they can never reach me.» Psychiatrist: «Don’t you have a phone in your car?» Blonde: «That was a little too expensive, so I did the next best thing. I put a mailbox in my car.» Psychiatrist: ... Читать далее...
28. Pilot to towerPilot to tower. . . pilot to tower. . . I am 300 miles from land. . . 600 feet over water. . . and running out of fuel. . . please instruct! Tower to pilot. . . tower to pilot. . . repeat after me: «Our Father, which art in heaven. . .»...
29. Значение идиомы on the beam[on the beam] {adv.} or {adj. phr.} 1. In theradio beam that marks the path to follow between airports; flying inthe right direction. A radio signal tells the pilot of an airplanewhen he is flying on the beam. 2. {slang} Doing well; just right;good or correct. Kenneth’s answer was right on the beam. Contrast:OFF THE ... Читать далее...
30. Red shirtLong ago, when sailing ships ruled the waves, a captain and his crew were in danger of being boarded by a pirate ship. As the crew became frantic, the captain bellowed to his First Mate, «Bring me my red shirt!» The First Mate quickly retrieved the captain’s red shirt, which the captain put on and ... Читать далее...
31. A closer callThe Pilots One day at a busy airport, the passengers on a commercial airliner are seated, waiting for the cockpit crew to show up so they can get under way. The pilot and co pilot finally appear in the rear of the plane, and begin walking up to the cockpit through the center aisle. Both ... Читать далее...
32. Перевод слова routeRoute — путь, маршрут, трасса Перевод слова Bus route — маршрут автобуса the great trade routes — великие торговые пути two-way route — трасса в двух направлениях I drive this Route every day. Я езжу по этому маршруту каждый день. He had marked the Route on the map in red. Он отметил маршрут на карте ... Читать далее...
33. Commiting suicideA blonde and a brunette are living together. The brunette came home from work one day and the blonde had a rope around her waist. The brunette asked why the rope was around her waist. The blonde said that she was trying to commit suicide. The brunette said, «You put it around your neck!» The ... Читать далее...
34. Haircut before a tripA man was getting a haircut prior to a trip to Rome. He mentioned the trip to the barber who responded, «Rome? Why would anyone want to go there? It’s crowded & dirty and full of Italians. You’re crazy to go to Rome. So, how are you getting there?» «We’re taking TWA,» was the reply. ... Читать далее...
35. One day a blonde went into Wal-Mart andOne day a blonde went into Wal-Mart and saw something she liked. The Blonde asked the clerk what it was. The Clerk said it was a thermous. What does the thermous do? It keeps hot things hot and cold things cold. So she bought one. The blonde brought it to work one day and the ... Читать далее...
36. Перевод слова captainCaptain — капитан Перевод слова To hold the rank of captain — иметь звание капитана captain’s shoulder straps — погоны капитана captain’s mate — помощник капитана They chose her as Captain. Ее выбрали капитаном. A general ranks a Captain. Генерал выше по званию, чем капитан. Captain is in close arrest. Капитан находится под строгим арестом. ... Читать далее...
37. Перевод слова exitExit — выход, исчезновение; уходить, покидать Перевод слова Exit visa — выездная виза, виза на выезд a fire exit — запасный выход to take one’s exit — сойти со сцены, умереть The crowd swept me to the Exit. Толпа вынесла меня к выходу. He Exited the courtroom in a fury. Он покинул зал суда в ... Читать далее...
38. A man was looking for a cheap prostitute in a brothelA man was looking for a cheap prostitute in a brothel. He went up to the pimp, and asked him what he had. The pimp showed him a blonde whore for $50, but she was far too expensive. The pimp then showed him a brunette for $10, but she was also too expensive. Finally the ... Читать далее...
39. A disabled sea captainAn old sea captain with one wooden leg, one hook replacing a missing hand, and one missing eye goes into a bar. The sailor sitting next to him says, «You’re really in bad shape. What happened to your leg?» «I fell overboard,» says the Captain, «and before my mates could pull me aboard, a shark ... Читать далее...
40. Fighting Irish HumorMcNally was taking his first plane ride, flying over the Rocky Mountains. The stewardess handed him a piece of chewing gum. «It’s to keep your ears from popping at high altitudes,» she explains. When the plane landed McNally rushed up to her. «Miss,» he said, «I’m meetin’ me wife right away. How do I get ... Читать далее...