Главная ⇒ 📌Jokes ⇒ Nine things Dogs don’t Understand

Nine things Dogs don’t Understand

1. It’s not a laugh to practice barking at 3a. m.

2. It’s wrong to back Grandma into a corner and guard her.

3. He shouldn’t jump on your bed when he’s sopping wet.

4. The cats have every right to be in the living room.

5. Barking at guests 10 minutes after they arrive is stupid.

6. Getting up does NOT mean we are going for a walk.

7. Just because I’m eating, doesn’t mean you can.

8. If you look at me with those big soppy eyes, I’m not going to give in and feed you. NOT NOT NOT. Oh, ok, just this once.

9. No, it’s my food….Oh alright then, just a small piece.



The changing face of tourism ecotourism.
Диалог про достопримечательности на английском.

Related topics:

  1. Значение идиомы bark up the wrong tree[bark up the wrong tree] {v. phr.}, {informal} To choose the wrong person to deal with or the wrong course of action; mistake an aim. If he thinks he can fool me, he is barking up the wrong tree. He is barking up the wrong tree when he blames his troubles on bad luck. The ... Читать далее...
  2. Значение идиомы rain cats and dogs[rain cats and dogs] or [rain buckets] or [rain pitchforks] {v. phr.}, {informal} To rain very hard; come down in torrents. In themiddle of the picnic it started to rain cats and dogs, and everybodygot soaked. Terry looked out of the window and said, «It’s rainingpitchforks, so we can’t go out to play right now.»...
  3. Перевод идиомы rain cats and dogs, значение выражения и пример использованияИдиома: rain cats and dogs Перевод: льет, как из ведра (о дожде) Пример: It has been raining cats and dogs all morning. Все утро дождь льет, как из ведра....
  4. Steven Wright on dogsThe other day, I was walking my dog around my building…on the ledge. Some people are afraid of heights. Not me, I’m afraid of widths. I had a dog once. I spilled spot remover on him, and now he’s gone. I put contact lenses in my dog’s eyes. They had little pictures of cats on ... Читать далее...
  5. THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN DOGS AND CATSTHE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN DOGS AND CATS A dog thinks: Hey, these people I live with feed me, love me, provide me with a nice warm, dry house, pet me, and take good care of me… They must be gods! A cat thinks: Hey, these people I live with feed me, love me, provide me with ... Читать далее...
  6. Значение идиомы wrong[wrong] See: BARK UP THE WRONG TREE, BET ON THE WRONG HORSE, GETOFF ON THE WRONG FOOT, GET UP ON THE WRONG SIDE OF THE BED, IN THEWRONG, LAUGH ON THE WRONG SIDE OF ONE’S MOUTH, RUB THE WRONG WAY....
  7. A young man joined the Army and signed up with the paratroopersA young man joined the Army and signed up with the paratroopers. He went though the standard training, completed the practice jumps from higher and higher structures, and finally went to take his first jump from an airplane. The next day, he called home to his father to tell him the news. «So, did you ... Читать далее...
  8. Grandma Saperstein and Grandpa Rabinowitz are sittingGrandma Saperstein and Grandpa Rabinowitz are sitting on the veranda of the old folks home rocking back and forth in their rocking chairs. Grandpa Rabinowitz rocks forward in his chair and says to Grandma, «Fuck you!» Grandma Saperstein rocks forward in her chair and says to Grandpa, «Fuck you too!» Grandpa becomes very much excited ... Читать далее...
  9. A little girl was out with her GrandmotherA little girl was out with her Grandmother when they came across a couple of dogs mating on the sidewalk. «What are they doing, Grandma?» asked the little girl. The grandmother was embarrased, so she said, «The dog on top has hurt his paw, and the one underneath is carrying him to the doctor.» They’re ... Читать далее...
  10. Jokes of science 02The experimentalist comes running excitedly into the theorist’s office, waving a graph taken off his latest experiment. «Hmmm,» says the theorist, «That’s exactly where you’d expect to see that peak. Here’s the reason (long logical explanation follows).» In the middle of it, the experimentalist says «Wait a minute», studies the chart for a second, and ... Читать далее...
  11. Перевод идиомы bark up the wrong tree, значение выражения и пример использованияИдиома: bark up the wrong tree Перевод: лаять не на то дерево; сделать неправильное предположение о чем-либо Пример: The police are barking up the wrong tree in their investigation of the criminal. Полиция задержала не того преступника в своем расследовании....
  12. Перевод слова guardGuard — охрана, защита Перевод слова Guard dog — караульная собака soldier on guard at the door — боец, стоящий на страже у дверей the guard at the door — часовой у двери frontier guard — пограничник The Guard dog came for me. Сторожевая собака бросилась ко мне. The Guard checked our passes. Охранник проверил ... Читать далее...
  13. Значение идиомы on guard[on guard] {adj. phr.} Watchful; watching. The police warnedpeople to he on guard for pickpockets during the Christmas rush. Two men are on guard at the door. Contrast: OFF GUARD....
  14. Значение идиомы laugh on the wrong side of one’s mouth[laugh on the wrong side of one’s mouth] or [laugh on the otherside of one’s mouth] or [laugh out of the other side of one’s mouth]{v. phr.}, {informal} To be made sorry; to feel annoyance ordisappointment; cry. Paul boasted that he was a good skater, butafter he fell, he laughed out of the other side ... Читать далее...
  15. Перевод слова jumpJump — прыгать; скачок, резкое повышение Перевод слова To jump for joy — прыгать от радости to jump into a taxi — вскочить в такси to give a jump — резко подняться, подскочить jump in prices — резкое повышение цен How high can you Jump? Как высоко ты можешь прыгнуть? Don’t Jump the camera. Не ... Читать далее...
  16. Перевод слова laughLaugh — смеяться Перевод слова To laugh at a joke — посмеяться над анекдотом to laugh a reply — ответить смеясь infectious laugh — заразительный смех sardonic laugh — сардонический смех He gave a loud Laugh. Он громко рассмеялся. What are you Laughing about? Над чем вы смеетесь? He Laughed a reply. Он ответил со ... Читать далее...
  17. Rooms in a HouseI don’t like cats. That’s not really true. I like cats, but they don’t like me. Last week, my friend Sara asked me To babysit her cat for two days while she was out of town. Normally, I would have said no, but she was In a jam, so I said okay. As I said, ... Читать далее...
  18. Значение идиомы off guard[off guard] {adj.} In a careless attitude; not alert to comingdanger; not watching. In the second that the boxer was off guard, his opponent landed a knockout punch. Timmy s question caught Jeanoff guard, and she told him the secret before she knew it. Contrast:ON GUARD....
  19. Juan comes up to the Mexican border on his bicycleJuan comes up to the Mexican border on his bicycle. He’s got two large bags over his shoulders. The guard stops him and says, «What’s in the bags?» «Sand,» answered Juan. The guard says, «We’ll just see about that get off the bike.» The guard takes the bags and rips them apart; he empties them ... Читать далее...
  20. Mexican SmugglerJuan pedals up to the Mexican border on his bicycle. He’s got two large bags over his shoulders. The guard stops him and asks, «What’s in the bags?» «Sand,» answers Juan. The guard says, «We’ll just see about that. Get off the bike.» The guard takes the bags and rips them apart. He empties them ... Читать далее...
  21. Значение идиомы bring to bay[bring to bay] {v. phr.} To chase or force into a place where escape is impossible without a fight; trap; corner. The police brought the robber to bay on the roof and he gave up. The fox was brought to bay in a hollow tree and the dogs stood around it barking. Compare: AT BAY....
  22. Crossing the borderWhile crossing the US-Mexican border on his bicycle, the man was stopped by a guard who pointed to two sacks the man had on his shoulders. «What’s in the bags?», asked the guard. «Sand,» said the cyclist. «Get them off — we’ll take a look,» said the guard. The Cyclist did as he was told, ... Читать далее...
  23. Pedestrian SafetyRueben: I never imagined walking our daughter to school could be so Dangerous. Carla: What happened? Rueben: We were walking on the Sidewalk approaching the Intersection. The Crossing guard was there to stop Traffic so we could cross the street. We were halfway through the Designated crosswalk when a guy driving like a Demon whips ... Читать далее...
  24. Перевод слова practicePractice — практика, применение; привычка Перевод слова To put into practice — осуществлять, проводить в жизнь international practice — международная практика practice of trade — торговый обычай in practice — на практике, на деле, фактически I cannot be a votary to this Practice. Я не могу быть сторонником этой деятельности. The Practice threatens to become ... Читать далее...
  25. Horses at the RaceA champion jockey is about to enter an important race on a new horse. The horse’s trainer meets him before the race and says, »All you have to remember with this horse is that every time you approach a jump, you have to shout, ‘ALLLLEEE OOOP!’ really loudly in the horse’s ear. Providing you do ... Читать далее...
  26. Значение идиомы get the jump on[get the jump on] or [have the jump on] {v. phr.}, {slang} To getahead of; start before ; have an advantage over. Don’t letthe other boys get the jump on you at the beginning of the race. Our team got the jump on their rivals in the first minutes of play, and held the lead ... Читать далее...
  27. Перевод слова cornerCorner — угол Перевод слова In the corner of the room — в углу комнаты at the corner of the street — на углу улицы to turn the corner — завернуть за угол to cut off a corner — срезать угол, пойти напрямик We turned round the Corner. Мы свернули за угол. Once the dog ... Читать далее...
  28. Значение идиомы out of practice[out of practice] {adj. phr.} Not in proper condition; unable to dosomething well because of lack of practice. The basketball team gotout of practice during the Christmas holidays. Compare: OUT OF SHAPE. Contrast: IN PRACTICE....
  29. Biologist experimentThere was this biologist who was doing some experiments with frogs. He was measuring just how far frogs could jump. So he puts a frog on a line and says «Jump frog, jump!». The frog jumps 2 feet. He writes in his lab book: ‘Frog with 4 legs — jumps 2 feet’. Next he chops ... Читать далее...
  30. Значение идиомы he laughs best who laughs last[he laughs best who laughs last] A person should go ahead with whathe is doing and not worry when others laugh at him. When he succeedshe will enjoy laughing at them for being wrong more than they enjoyedlaughing at him. — A proverb. Everyone laughed at Mary when she waslearning to ski. She kept falling ... Читать далее...
  31. Перевод слова understandUnderstand — понимать, догадываться, осознавать Перевод слова To understand a question — понимать вопрос the verb may be either expressed or understood — глагол может быть указан или подразумеваться for the life of me I can’t understand it — хоть убей, не могу этого понять it is easy to understand his anger — легко понять ... Читать далее...
  32. Значение идиомы color guard[color guard] {n.} A military guard of honor for the flag of a country; also: a guard of honor to carry and protect a flag or banner. There were four Marines in the color guard in the parade. Bob was picked to be a color guard and to carry the banner of the drum corps ... Читать далее...
  33. Dogs and Light BulbsHow many dogs does it take to change a light bulb? Border Collie: Just one. Then I’ll replace any wiring that’s not up to code. Rottweiler: Make me! Lab: Oh, me, me! Pleeease let me change the light bulb! Can I? Huh? Huh? Dachshund: You know I can’t reach that stupid lamp! Malamute: Let the ... Читать далее...
  34. Значение идиомы give to understand[give to understand] {v. phr.}, {informal} 1. To make a personthink that something is true but not tell him; suggest; hint. Mr. Johnson gave Billy to understand that he would pay him if he helpedhim clean the yard. 2. To make a person understand by telling himvery plainly or boldly. Frank was given to understand ... Читать далее...
  35. Значение идиомы laugh off[laugh off] {v.} To dismiss with a laugh as not important or notserious; not take seriously. He had a bad fall while ice skatingbut he laughed it off. You can’t laugh off a ticket for speeding. Compare: MAKE LIGHT OF....
  36. A girl sees three dogs in the park and kneels down to pet themA girl sees three dogs in the park and kneels down to pet them. «What’s your name?» she asks the first. To her surprise, the dog answers «My name’s Huey and I’m having a great day going in and out of puddles.» She goes up to the second dog and asks «What’s your name?» The ... Читать далее...
  37. Elephants found to understand human pointing without trainingA study by researchers from the University St Andrews has found that elephants are the only wild animals that can understand human pointing without being trained. In the study, published in Current Biology, the researchers show that a group of 11 captive Zimbabwean elephants, which were used to following vocal instructions but weren’t trained to ... Читать далее...
  38. Значение идиомы have the last laugh[have the last laugh] or [get the last laugh] {v. phr.} To makesomeone seem foolish for having laughed at you. Other schoolslaughed at us when our little team entered the state championship, butwe had the last laugh when we won it. Compare: HE LAUGHS BEST WHOLAUGHS LAST, TURN THE TABLES....
  39. Visiting a MuseumI wanted to visit the National Museum, but when I arrived, it was closed. Rudy: Can you tell me the Hours of operation for the Museum? Guard: It’s open from 10 a. m. to 5 p. m., Monday through Saturday. It’s closed on Sunday. Rudy: Thanks. I’ll be back tomorrow. —— The next day, I ... Читать далее...
  40. The Army Airborne major was used to harassmentThe Army Airborne major was used to harassment from Air Force fliers about crazy Army paratroopers jumping out of perfectly good aircraft. «Obviously the Air Force knows there’s no such thing as a ‘perfectly good aircraft,'» the irritated officer finally countered one afternoon, «because they pay you bastards four times as much to stay in ... Читать далее...

Nine things Dogs don’t Understand