My brother-in-law went to the doctor complaining of

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1. These two guys are car pooling home from work one day These two guys are car pooling home from work one day. Traffic is barely crawling along and they are both a bit bored. So the driver is looking around and suddenly he points at two dogs having sex on someone’s front lawn. “Look”, he shouts “What are the those dogs doing? are they fighting?” The […]...
2. A blonde was complaining to her friend about constantly being A blonde was complaining to her friend about constantly being called a dumb blonde. Her friend tells her “go do something to prove them wrong! Why don’t you learn all the state capitals or something?” The blonde thinks this is a great idea, and locks herself up for two weeks studying. The next party she […]...
3. A young woman visited her doctor complaining of a bed wetting problem A young woman visited her doctor complaining of a bed wetting problem. The doctor asked her the usual questions and then asked her to go behind the screen and remove her clothes. She was a bit shocked but went ahead anyway. When she was undressed he asked her to stand on her hands in front […]...
4. Перевод слова brother Brother – брат Перевод слова Older brother – старший брат blood brother – кровный, родной брат full brother – родной брат I owe my Brother $50. Я задолжал моему брату $50. He is my own Brother. Он мой родной брат. You’ll like my Brother. Ты похож на моего брата. Интересные факты Warner Brothers Entertainment, Inc. […]...
5. PUPPY LOVE A man and his son were walking through a field, and saw two dogs mating. The little boy asked his Dad what was happening. The Father replied, “Well, son, they’re making a puppy.” The following evening, the little boy was thirsty, so he went from his bed to get a glass of water. Not being […]...
6. Перевод слова dumb Dumb – немой, бессловесный, глупый Перевод слова Dumb crambo – шарада-пантомима deaf and dumb from birth – глухонемой от рождения dumb brutes – бессловесные твари dumb bunny – глупец, дурак He’s kinda Dumb, isn’t he? Он отчасти глуповат, не так ли? What a Dumb question. Что за тупой вопрос. I was struck Dumb with astonishment […]...
7. Перевод идиомы doggy bag / doggie bag, значение выражения и пример использования Идиома: doggy bag / doggie bag Идиома: doggy bag / doggie bag Перевод: пакет, коробка, или контейнер с остатками еды, заказанной посетителем, который посетитель ресторана может забрать с собой Пример: If we can’t eat all the lobster, ask for a doggy bag and we’ll take it home. We can have it for lunch tomorrow. Если […]...
8. Psychiatrist: What is wrong with your brother? Psychiatrist: What is wrong with your brother? Sister: He thinks he’s a chicken. Psychiatrist: How long has be been acting like a chicken? Sister: Three years. We would have come in sooner, but we needed the eggs....
9. Charlie was playing with his little brother Mickey Charlie was playing with his little brother Mickey when the little boy asked whether he could fly like Superman. “Sure you can, Mickey,” Charlie said, “Just flap your arms really *really* hard.” So Mickey climbed up on the windowsill, started flapping like mad, jumped, then smashed into the ground six stories below. Horrified, their mother […]...
10. Диалог на английском языке с переводом “Между братом и сестрой (Between Brother And Sister)” По-английски Перевод на русский Brother: Rita, what are doing? Брат: Рита, чем ты занята? Sister: I’m working on my home work. Why? Do you need my help? Сестра: Я работаю над своим домашним заданием. А что? Тебе нужна моя помощь? Brother: In fact, I do. Mrs. Jenkins told us to prepare a project about one […]...
11. A man goes to the doctor with a long history of A man goes to the doctor with a long history of migraine headaches. When the doctor does his history and physical, he discovers that his poor patient has had practically every therapy known to man for his migraines and STILL no improvement. “Listen,” says the Doctor, “I have migraines, too and the advice I’m going […]...
12. A concerned husband went to a doctor to talk about his wife A concerned husband went to a doctor to talk about his wife. He says to the doctor, “Doctor, I think my wife is deaf because she never hears me the first time and always asks me to repeat things.” “Well,” the doctor replied, “go home and tonight stand about 15 feet from her and say […]...
13. Two missionaries in Africa get apprehended by a tribe Two missionaries in Africa get apprehended by a tribe of very hostile cannibals who put them in a large pot of water, build a huge fire under it, and leave them there. A few minutes later, one of the missionaries starts to laugh uncontrollably. The other missionary can’t believe it! He says, “What’s wrong with […]...
14. The doctor had just completed his examination The doctor had just completed his examination of the gorgeous redhaired beauty. “I would suggest to you, young lady,” began the medic, as he regained som of his professional dignity, “that you discontinue some of your running around. Stop drinking so much, cut down on your smoking, and above all you will have to start […]...
15. Work Environment Work Environment: (Wise manager) + (Wise employee) = PROFIT (Wise manager) + (Dumb employee) = PRODUCTION (Dumb manager) + (Wise employee) = PROMOTION (Dumb manager) + (Dumb employee) = OVERTIME...
16. Doctor and engineer A pastor, a doctor and an engineer were waiting one morning for a particularly slow group of golfers. Engineer: What’s with these guys? We must have been waiting for 15 minutes! Doctor: I don’t know, but I’ve never seen such ineptitude! Pastor: Hey, here comes the greens keeper. Let’s have a word with him. [dramatic […]...
17. Значение идиомы go to the dogs [go to the dogs] {v. phr.}, {informal} To go to ruin; to be ruinedor destroyed. The man went to the dogs after he started drinking. After the death of the owner, the business went to the dogs. The team went to the dogs when its best players got hurt. Compare:GO TO POT....
18. Traditions A man and a woman got married, and he told her : ” since you are my wife you should respect my traditions and habits…and i have 3 traditions. So, first tradition: On wednesdays i play football with my friends…no matter what..whether it snows or it rains…i dont care..i play football!! -Is it clear for […]...
19. Перевод слова position Position – положение, местонахождение, позиция Перевод слова Position data – координаты position buoy – указательный буй a high position in society – высокое положение в обществе He was appointed to the Position. Его назначили на эту должность. They are now leaning to our Position. Сейчас они склоняются на нашу сторону. The lever is in the […]...
20. A dubious remedy A man was having problems with premature ejaculation so he decided to go to the doctor. He asked the doctor what he could do to cure his problem. In response, the doctor said, “When you feel like you are getting ready to ejaculate, try startling yourself.” That same day the man went to the store […]...
21. Constantly complaining A customer was bothering the waiter in a restaurant. First, he asked that the air conditioning be turned up because he was too hot, then he asked it be turned down cause he was too cold, and so on for about half an hour., Surprisingly, the waiter was very patient, he walked back and forth […]...
22. A man was complaining to a friend A man was complaining to a friend. “I had it all. Money, a beautiful house, a BIG car, the love of a beautiful woman, then, POW! it was all gone!” “What happened?” asked the friend. “My wife found out.”...
23. The Missionary and the Chief A missionary who had spent years showing a tribe of natives how to farm and build things to be self-sufficient gets word that he is to return home. He realizes that the one thing he never taught the natives was how to speak English, so he takes the chief and starts walking in the forest. […]...
24. One day Pete was complaining to his friend One day Pete was complaining to his friend “my elbow hurts. I better see a doctor”. His friend said “Don’t do that. There’s a computer in the drug store that can diagnose anything. It’s quicker and cheaper than visiting a doctor. Simply put a urine sample in the machine and it will diagnose your problem […]...
25. Billy Ray and Billie Bob are driving home from a party Billy Ray and Billie Bob are driving home from a party. BR runs a red light. BB says, “Hey! What the fuck are you doing! That light was red!” BR replies, “Don’t worry, my brother does it all the time, it’s OK.” Then he does it again. BB: ” Damn it, you done it again!” […]...
26. A secretary A secretary, who works in an office with my daughter’s friend, Commented at lunch that it was such a shame that the spice girls couldn’t stay together considering they are sisters and all. There was silence for a bit, then someone told her that they weren’t sisters. She said, ” Of course they are, they […]...
27. Перевод слова tonight Tonight – сегодня вечером, сегодняшний вечер (ночь) Перевод слова Come down to my place tonight – приходи ко мне сегодня вечером there will be dancing tonight – сегодня будут танцы we have got a do on tonight – у нас сегодня вечер Tonight I saw the sunset. Сегодня вечером я наблюдал закат солнца. Anything on […]...
28. My Family. (var. 2) There are 4 of us in our family: my mother, father, my elder brother and me. I think our family is friendly and united. We spend much time together, hike, visit theaters, museums, go to the cinema. My mother’s name is Luidmila Mikhailovna. She is an engineer, she works in an office. She is a […]...
29. Nuns First Hot Dog Nuns First Hot Dog Two Scottish nuns have just arrived in the USA by boat and one says to the other, “I hear that the occupants of this country actually eat dogs.” “Odd,” her companion replies, “but if we shall live in America, we might as well do as the Americans do.” Nodding emphatically, the […]...
30. A man comes to a doctor and A man comes to a doctor and, twitching his fingers and stuttering, finally manages to say, “Doctor, I have a sexual performance problem. Can you help me?” “Oh, that’s not a problem for us men anymore!” announces a proud physician, “They just came out with this new wonder drug, Viagra, that does the trick! You […]...
31. Diary Entries AUG. 12 Moved to our new home in Ohio. It is so beautiful here. The hills are so majestic. I can hardly wait to see them with snow covering them. I love it here. OCT. 14 Ohio is the most beautiful place on Earth. The leaves are turned all the colors and shades of red […]...
32. Life as a thing Life is so interesting thing…. when i was 3 years i always ask her play game with me. i was so small and also i was sweat. Now i am 13 years old, i really grow up.. at the moment i am studying chinese in China. I have a dream be with my mother very […]...
33. Personal Grooming Giorgio: I’ll pick you up tonight at 7:00, okay? Anna: You’d better make it 8:00. I need time to get ready. Giorgio: You just need to go home, take a shower, and throw on some clothes. How much time do you need? Anna: You have no idea what a woman has to do to look […]...
34. Диалог на английском языке с переводом “Жалоба в отеле (Complaining At The Hotel)” По-английски Перевод на русский Receptionist: Good afternoon, sir. How may I help you? Портье: Добрый день, сэр. Чем могу вам помочь? Customer: Good afternoon. I’d like to make a complaint. Клиент: Добрый день. Я хотел бы подать жалобу. Receptionist: What’s the problem, sir? Портье: В чем проблема, сэр? Customer: My room number is 205. I […]...
35. Naming your child There was a woman who was pregnant with twins, and shortly before they were due, she had an accident and went into a coma. Her husband was away on business, and unable to be reached. While in the coma, she gave birth to her twins, and the only person around to name her children was […]...
36. The young playboy took a blind date to an amusement park The young playboy took a blind date to an amusement park. They went for a ride on the Ferris wheel. The ride completed, she seemed rather bored. “What would you like to do next?” he asked. “I wanna be weighed,” she said. So the young man took her over to the weight guessed. “One-twelve,” said […]...
37. Bathroom control One day Pablo and Paco are riding through the desert on their horses. As they ride along, Pablo smells something horrible. He stops his horse and turns around. He says “Hey Paco, you shit your pants?” Paco says “No, Pablo, I did not shit my pants.” He believes him and they keep riding. As they […]...
38. Перевод сленгового выражения the shit hits the fan, значение и пример использования Сленговое выражение: the shit hits the fan Сленговое выражение: the shit hits the fan груб. Перевод: разразится большой скандал; дело примет плохой оборот; запахнет жареным Пример: It was a good party until Ed started a fight. Then the shit hit the fan! Вечеринка была хорошей, пока Эд не начал драку. Тогда все понеслось! If Dad […]...
39. The young playboy took a blind date to an The young playboy took a blind date to an amusement park. They went for a ride on the Ferris wheel. The ride completed, she seemed rather bored. “What would you like to do next?” he asked. “I wanna be weighed,” she said. So the young man took her over to the weight guesser. “One-twelve,” said […]...
40. In a Rut Woman: What do you want to do tonight? Man: I don’t know. What do you want to do? W: I have no idea. Do you think we’re In a rut? M: What do you mean? W: Well, we do the same things every weekend. We go to the same restaurants. We see the same friends. […]...