Mr. Jones had hired a new secretary

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1. Jones is checking out of a hotel when suddenly he has toJones is checking out of a hotel when suddenly he has to take a shit real bad. The toilet in his room isn’t working, so he bolts down to use the lobby Men’s Room, but all of the stalls are occupied, so he runs back up to his room, and in desperation, he drops his ... Читать далее...
2. Jones came into the office an hour late for the third timeJones came into the office an hour late for the third time in one week and found the boss waiting for him. «What’s the story this time, Jones?» he asked sarcastically. «Let’s hear a good excuse for a change.» Jones sighed, «Everything went wrong this morning, Boss. The wife decided to drive me to the ... Читать далее...
3. Why I Fired My SecretaryI woke up early, feeling depressed because it was my birthday, and I thought, «I’m another year older,» but decided to make the best of it. So I showered and shaved, knowing when I went down to breakfast my wife would greet me with a big kiss and say, «Happy birthday, dear.» All smiles, I ... Читать далее...
4. Перевод слова secretarySecretary — секретарь Перевод слова Press secretary — пресс-секретарь executive secretary — ответственный секретарь chartered secretary — управляющий делами They traced the leak to a Secretary. Они выяснили, что утечка информации шла от секретарши. We require our Secretary to be on time. Мы требуем от нашего секретаря чтобы он приходил во время. She is a ... Читать далее...
5. Several weeks after a young man had been hiredSeveral weeks after a young man had been hired, he was called into the personnel director’s office. «What is the meaning of this?» the director asked. «When you applied for this job, you told us you had five years experience. Now we discovered this is the first job you’ve ever held.» «Well,» the young man ... Читать далее...
6. A young man, hired by a supermarket, reported for his first dayA young man, hired by a supermarket, reported for his first day of work. The manager greeted him with a warm handshake and a smile, gave him a broom and said, «Your first job will be to sweep out the store.» «But I’m a college graduate.» the young man replied indignantly. «Oh, I’m sorry. I ... Читать далее...
7. Jones is driving past the state mental hospitalJones is driving past the state mental hospital when his left rear tire suffers a flat. While Jones is changing the tire, another car goes by, running over the hub cap in which Jones was keeping the lug nuts. the nuts are all knocked into a nearby storm drain. Jones is at a loss for ... Читать далее...
8. Значение идиомы hired man[hired man] {n. phr.} A man employed to do jobs every day about ahouse or farm. The hired man was sick, and a lot of the dailychores were not done....
9. Перевод слова dictationDictation — диктант, диктовка; диктат, предписание, распоряжение Перевод слова To do a dictation — писать диктант take to dictation — подчиниться диктату at somebody’s dictation — в соответствии с предписанием He used a tape recorder for Dictation. Он используется магнитофон для диктовки. He signed and mailed his Dictation without bothering to read it. он подписал ... Читать далее...
10. Диалог на английском языке с переводом «Секретарь по телефону (Secretary Answering The Phone)»По-английски Перевод на русский Secretary: Good afternoon. Siemens Electronics. How can I help you? Секретарь: Добрый день. Сименс Электроникс. Чем могу вам помочь? Caller 1: Hello. I would like to speak to the Executive manager, please. Звонящий 1: Здравствуйте. Я хотел бы поговорить с исполнительным директором, пожалуйста. Secretary: He is not here at the moment. ... Читать далее...
11. A secretaryA secretary, who works in an office with my daughter’s friend, Commented at lunch that it was such a shame that the spice girls couldn’t stay together considering they are sisters and all. There was silence for a bit, then someone told her that they weren’t sisters. She said, » Of course they are, they ... Читать далее...
12. Remember a childA young man was walking through a supermarket to pick up a few things when he noticed an old lady following him around. Thinking nothing of it, he ignored her and continued on. Finally he went to the checkout line, but she got in front of him. «Pardon me,» she said, «I’m sorry if my ... Читать далее...
13. Mrs. Jones is having her house paintedMrs. Jones is having her house painted, and her husband comes home from work and leans against the freshly painted wall. The next day, she says to the painter, «You wanna see where my husband put his hand last night?» He sighs and says, «Look, lady, I got a tough day’s work ahead of me. ... Читать далее...
14. The pretty secretary came in late for work the third dayThe pretty secretary came in late for work the third day in a row. The boss called her into his office and said, «Now look Sharon, I know we had a wild fling for a while, but that’s over. I expect you to conduct yourself like any other employee around here. The boss pressed on, ... Читать далее...
15. The hotel Astor had hired a new bus driverThe hotel Astor had hired a new bus driver and instructed him to meet all incoming trains and announce at the depot in a very loud voice, «Free bus to the hotel Astor!» On the way to the station on his first trip her kept repeating to himself, «Free bus to the hotel Astor, Free ... Читать далее...
16. Selling war insuranceAirman Jones was assigned to the induction center where he was to advise new recruits about their government benefits, especially their GI insurance. It wasn’t long before Captain Smith noticed that Airman Jones had almost a 100% record for insurance sales, which had never happened before. Rather than ask about this, the Captain stood in ... Читать далее...
17. Good sales strategyAirman Jones was assigned to the induction center, where he advised new recruits about their government benefits, especially their GI insurance. It wasn’t long before Captain Smith noticed that Airman Jones was having a staggeringly high success-rate, selling insurance to nearly 100% of the recruits he advised. Rather than asking him about this, the Captain ... Читать далее...
18. One Sunday morning the pastor noticed little JohnnyOne Sunday morning the pastor noticed little Johnny was standing staring up at the large plaque that hung in the foyer of the church. The young man of seven had been staring at the plaque for some time, so the pastor walked up and stood beside him and gazing up at the plaque he said ... Читать далее...
19. An unfortunate coincidenceOne day Mrs. Jones went to have a talk with the minister at the local church. «Reverend,» she said, «I have a problem—my husband keeps falling asleep during your sermons. It’s very embarrassing. What should I do?» «I have an idea,» said the minister. «Take this hatpin with you. I will be able to tell ... Читать далее...
20. Значение идиомы door[door] See: AT DEATH’S DOOR, AT ONE’S DOOR, CLOSED-DOOR, CLOSE ITS DOORS, CLOSE THE DOOR or BAR THE DOOR or SHUT THE DOOR, DARKEN ONE’S DOOR, or DARKEN THE DOOR, FOOT IN THE DOOR, KEEP THE WOLF FROM THE DOOR, LAY AT ONE’S DOOR, LOCK THE BARN DOOR AFTER THE HORSE IS STOLEN, NEXT DOOR, ... Читать далее...
21. Egg jokeIn a similar vein, tell your victim that you have a test of coordination you would like him to try with you. Find a door with a fairly large crack between the door and the wall when the door is open. (You know, over by the hinges; across the width of the door from the ... Читать далее...
22. Перевод слова politePolite — вежливый, учтивый Перевод слова Polite rebuff — вежливый отказ a thought more polite — чуть вежливей the polite thing — благовоспитанность She’s always very Polite. Она всегда очень вежлива. It’s not Polite to interrupt. Не вежливо перебивать. Please be Polite to the guests. Пожалуйста, будь вежлив с гостями....
23. The 21st Century Indiana Jones is a Woman Crowdsourcing Space ArchaeologyEgyptian Pyramids captured by DubaiSat-1 of EIAST, Dubai. Sarah Parcak’s innovative work in space archaeology has earned her the nickname «the Indiana Jones of the 21st century.» When she appeared-wearing Indian Jones’ iconic hat-on The Late Show with Stephen Colbert in January, the host referred to her as a «space archaeologist wizard genius.» In November ... Читать далее...
24. Humor about Drunk Irishmen 2Casey McCarthy had just arrived in New York City and was amazed at the enormity of everything. Having drunk a pint or two on the flight over, he sorely needed to relieve himself. The first door he entered happened to be a large health club, and he asked the clerk if he might use the ... Читать далее...
25. Значение идиомы open the door[open the door] {v. phr.} To allow more action or discussion; givea chance. Learning to read and write opens the door to a better joband better living conditions. Raising the tax rates will open thedoor to more help for older people. Contrast: CLOSE THE DOOR. Compare: OPEN ITS DOORS....
26. Диалог на английском языке с переводом «секретаря и посетителя в офисе (Dialogue between a secretary and an office guest)— Good morning! Can I see Mr. Watson, please? — Good morning, sir. Do you have an appointment? — Yes, I have an appointment at 10 o’clock. My name is Sam Johnson. — That’s right, Mr. Johnson. May I take your coat, please? — Thank you. Here you are. Is Mr. Watson in his office? ... Читать далее...
27. You can come out nowJon was looking for a little «action». He picked up a sweet young thang at the bar and took her back to his hotel room. Little did he know she was damn near a nymphomaniac. After six times she was screaming for more. After the *eighth* time Jon told her that he needed to slip ... Читать далее...
28. Safe to appearDon was looking for a little «action.» He picked up a sweet young thang at the bar and took her back to his hotel room. Little did he know she was damn near a nymphomaniac. After six times, she was screaming for more. After the *eighth* time, Don told her that he needed to slip ... Читать далее...
29. The CIA was recruiting for a top secret assignmentThe CIA was recruiting for a top secret assignment. They were down to three recruits, two men and one woman. Only one could get the position. As a final test each recruit was led down a hallway to a large gray door. The CIA agents say to the first man, «We need to know that ... Читать далее...
30. Put it to a good useThe doctor comes out of the delivery room and says to the father, «I’m sorry to have to tell you this, Mr. Jones, but apparently your child was born with no arms, only one leg, and teeth that project six inches out of its mouth.» Mr. Jones cries, «My God! What will we do with ... Читать далее...
31. The bank manager was in the final stages of hiringThe bank manager was in the final stages of hiring a cashierand was down to two final applicants — one of which would get the job. The first one interviewed was from a small college in upstate New York. A nice young man, but a bit timid. Then he called for the second man, «Jim ... Читать далее...
32. No exitAn airline captain was breaking in a very pretty new blonde stewardess; the route they were flying had a stay-over in another city. Upon their arrival the captain showed the stewardess the best place for airline personnel to eat, shop and stay overnight. The next morning as the pilot was preparing the crew for the ... Читать далее...
33. Перевод сленгового выражения sweet, значение и пример использованияСленговое выражение: sweet Перевод: очень хороший, отличный Пример: I got a new job taking pictures. It’s sweet. У меня новая работа, на которой я занимаюсь фотографированием. Это просто отлично....
34. Перевод слова sweetSweet — сладкий, милый; конфета Перевод слова Sweet apples — сладкие яблоки sweet girl — милая девушка to like sweets — любить сласти She has a Sweet smile. У нее милая улыбка. Revenge is Sweet. Месть сладка. The Sweet voice of a bird. Мелодичное пение птички. Примеры из жизни Вы могли видеть слово ‘Sweet’ на ... Читать далее...
35. Значение идиомы open heart[open heart] {n.} 1. No hiding of your feelings; frankness;freedom. She spoke with an open heart of her warm feelings for herpupils. She told her troubles with an open heart. Compare: HEARTON ONE’S SLEEVE. 2. Kindness; generosity. She contributed to thefund with an open heart. Mr. Jones has an open heart forunderprivileged children. Compare: OPEN ... Читать далее...
36. Перевод слова openOpen — открытый, открыть Перевод слова To blow open a safe — взломать сейф open border — открытая граница to open the door — открыть дверь The zoo is Open daily. Зоопарк работает ежедневно. He kicked Open the door. Он распахнул дверь ударом ноги. They are in the Open sea. Они в открытом море. Примеры ... Читать далее...
37. One of my first evenings back from overseasOne of my first evenings back from overseas, my girl’s understanding parents left us alone in the living room. Naturally, we did not talk all the time. In the midst of a kiss, I noticed her little sister in her nightgown watching us from the doorway. «If you will be a good girl and go ... Читать далее...
38. A young man was staying on a farm with his uncle and auntA young man was staying on a farm with his uncle and aunt for the summer. One morning the aunt and uncle walked in the kitchen and the young man was drinking an extremely large glass of milk. The young man said «I took the liberty of milking your cow this morning!» He then continues ... Читать далее...
39. Значение идиомы close the door[close the door] or [bar the door] or [shut the door] {v. phr.} To prevent any more action or talk about a subject. The President’s veto closed the door to any new attempt to pass the bill. Joan was much hurt by what Mary said, and she closed the door on Mary’s attempt to apologize. ... Читать далее...
40. The dean of women at an exclusive girl’s collegeThe dean of women at an exclusive girl’s college was lecturing her students on sexual morality. «In moments of temptation,» said the speaker to the class, «ask yourself just one question: Is an hour of pleasure worth a lifetime of shame?» A sweet young thing in the back of the room rose to ask: «How ... Читать далее...