Mexican Smuggler
Juan pedals up to the Mexican border on his bicycle. He’s got two large bags over his shoulders.
The guard stops him and asks, “What’s in the bags?”
“Sand,” answers Juan.
The guard says, “We’ll just see about that. Get off the bike.” The guard takes the bags and rips them apart. He empties them out and finds nothing but sand.
He detains Juan overnight and has the sand analyzed, only to discover that it is pure sand.
The guard releases Juan, puts the sand into new bags, hefts them onto the man’s shoulders, and allows him to cross the border.
A week later, the same thing happens. The guard asks, “What have you got?”
“Sand,” says Juan.
The guard does his thorough examination and discovers that the bags contain nothing but sand. He gives the sand back, and Juan crosses the border on his bicycle.
This sequence of events is repeated every day for three years. Finally, one day, Juan doesn’t show up and the guard sees him in a cantina in Mexico.
“Hey, Buddy,” says the guard, “I know you’re smuggling something. It’s driving me crazy. It’s all I think about. Just between you and me, what are you smuggling?”
Juan sips his beer and says, “Stolen bicycles.”
Related topics:
- Juan comes up to the Mexican border on his bicycle Juan comes up to the Mexican border on his bicycle. He’s got two large bags over his shoulders. The guard stops him and says, “What’s in the bags?” “Sand,” answered Juan. The guard says, “We’ll just see about that get off the bike.” The guard takes the bags and rips them apart; he empties them […]...
- Crossing the border While crossing the US-Mexican border on his bicycle, the man was stopped by a guard who pointed to two sacks the man had on his shoulders. “What’s in the bags?”, asked the guard. “Sand,” said the cyclist. “Get them off – we’ll take a look,” said the guard. The Cyclist did as he was told, […]...
- Preparing Food for Cooking Marissa: How can I help? Juan Carlos: Um…why don’t you Iron the Tablecloth and Set the table? Marissa: I already did that. I want to help with the cooking. Juan Carlos: Okay, you can Scrub these potatoes, Peel the carrots, and Rinse these grapes. Marissa: All right, I’ll do that, but I think you’re just […]...
- An Old Love Juan: You’ll never guess who I got an email from yesterday. Naomi: Who? Juan: Diana Shultz. Naomi: Weren’t you two An item back in high school? So, you got an email from an Old flame. Very interesting. Juan: Well, that’s Ancient history. We Lost touch After we went off to college. Naomi: What did she […]...
- So this Mexican dude was taking a piss on the side of a building So this Mexican dude was taking a piss on the side of a building and this white dude sees him. After the Mexican is done the white guy asks him, “How come you Mexicans don’t wash your hands after you pee?” And the Mexican guy replies, “Because we Mexicans don’t piss in our hands”...
- Englishman in Australia An Englishman arrived to Australia. Passport control in the airport. Border guard asks him: – Have you ever been convicted of a crime? – Hmm.. Is it still necessary? Изначально в Австралию ссылали заключенных из Англии....
- Child Sports Injuries Angela: Wait! I need to put Sunscreen on Davy before he goes to the game. Juan: It’s not sunny today. He doesn’t need sunscreen. Angela: And here are four water bottles to make sure he stays Hydrated and doesn’t get Heat stroke. Juan: One of the other parents is bringing drinks for the kids. It’s […]...
- Types of Meetings Susanna: All right, then. This meeting is over. We’ll meet again next week for a Status update. Juan: Hey, do you have a few minutes to talk about tomorrow’s Teleconference? Susanna: Sorry, I’ve got to run. I’m late for my department’s weekly Brainstorming session. Can it wait? Juan: Sure, how about a Lunch meeting? Susanna: […]...
- Sleeping Beauty, Tom Thumb and Don Juan were having a terrible fight Sleeping Beauty, Tom Thumb and Don Juan were having a terrible fight. “I am the most beautiful person in the world,” proclaimed Sleeping Beauty. “No, you’re not,” answered Don Juan and Tom Thumb. “I am the smallest person in the world,” shouted Tom Thumb. “No, you’re not,” said Sleeping Beauty and Don Juan. “I’ve had […]...
- Значение идиомы shoulder [shoulder] See: CHIP ON ONE’S SHOULDER, COLD SHOULDER, GOOD HEAD ONONE’S SHOULDERS, HEAD AND SHOULDERS, PUT ONE’S SHOULDER TO THE WHEEL, ON ONE’S SHOULDERS, RUB ELBOWS or RUB SHOULDERS, SQUARE ONE’SSHOULDERS, WEIGHT OF THE WORLD ON ONE’S SHOULDERS....
- Перевод слова bicycle Bicycle – велосипед Перевод слова Racing bicycle – гоночный велосипед mountain bicycle – горный велосипед to ride a bicycle – ездить на велосипеде The Bicycle dented my car. Велосипед оставил вмятину на моей машине. Can James ride a Bicycle yet? Джеймс еще может ездить на велосипеде? The Bicycle chain needs oiling. Велосипедная цепочка должна быть […]...
- Перевод слова guard Guard – охрана, защита Перевод слова Guard dog – караульная собака soldier on guard at the door – боец, стоящий на страже у дверей the guard at the door – часовой у двери frontier guard – пограничник The Guard dog came for me. Сторожевая собака бросилась ко мне. The Guard checked our passes. Охранник проверил […]...
- Перевод слова sand Sand – песок, засыпать песком Перевод слова To blanket the fire with sand – засыпать огонь песком sand-blast cleaning – пескоструйная очистка corn of sand – песчинка I have Sand in my shoe. У меня песок в ботинках. Water permeates Sand easily. Вода легко проходит сквозь песок. The new Renault comes in black, silver, blue […]...
- Значение идиомы on guard [on guard] {adj. phr.} Watchful; watching. The police warnedpeople to he on guard for pickpockets during the Christmas rush. Two men are on guard at the door. Contrast: OFF GUARD....
- Visiting a Museum I wanted to visit the National Museum, but when I arrived, it was closed. Rudy: Can you tell me the Hours of operation for the Museum? Guard: It’s open from 10 a. m. to 5 p. m., Monday through Saturday. It’s closed on Sunday. Rudy: Thanks. I’ll be back tomorrow. —– The next day, I […]...
- Значение идиомы off guard [off guard] {adj.} In a careless attitude; not alert to comingdanger; not watching. In the second that the boxer was off guard, his opponent landed a knockout punch. Timmy s question caught Jeanoff guard, and she told him the secret before she knew it. Contrast:ON GUARD....
- A Mexican, a black, and a white guy A Mexican, a black, and a white guy are in a bar having a drink when a good-looking girl comes up to them and says “whoever can say liver and cheese in a sentence can have me”. So the white guy says “I love liver and cheese.” she says “that’s not good enough.” The black […]...
- Диалог на английском языке с переводом “All messed up” Juan Хуан No wonder your luck’s been so bad recently. Неудивительно, что тебе так не везло последнее время. Luis Луис What are you talking about? Что ты имеешь в виду? Juan Хуан Your apartment’s Feng Shui is All messed up. У тебя в квартире Полный беспорядок с Фэн Шуем. Luis Луис You getting superstitious on […]...
- Значение идиомы square one’s shoulders [square one’s shoulders] {v. phr.} To stand strong and ready togive battle; be brave. Jack squared his shoulders and entered thegame. Graduates must square their shoulders and face the world....
- An Irishman, a Mexican and a Blonde Guy were doing An Irishman, a Mexican and a Blonde Guy were doing construction work on scaffolding on the 20th floor of a building. They were eating lunch and the Irishman said, “Corned beef and cabbage! If I get corned beef and cabbage one more time for lunch, I’m going to jump off this building.” The Mexican opened […]...
- Значение идиомы good head on one’s shoulders [good head on one’s shoulders] {n. phr.} Good sense; good judgment. Jack has a good head on his shoulders; he never drives too fast. Alice is a girl with a good head on her shoulders, she always keepsgood company. George showed he had a good head on his shoulders byrefusing to cheat....
- Значение идиомы head and shoulders [head and shoulders] {adv. phr.} 1. By the measure of the head andshoulders. The basketball player is head and shoulders taller thanthe other boys. 2. By far; by a great deal; very much. She is headand shoulders above the rest of the class in singing. See: FAR ANDAWAY....
- Значение идиомы hide one’s head in the sand [hide one’s head in the sand] or [bury one’s head in the sand] or[have one’s head in the sand] To keep from seeing, knowing, orunderstanding something dangerous or unpleasant; to refuse to see orface something. If there is a war, you cannot just bury your headin the sand....
- Значение идиомы sand-lot [sand-lot] {adj.} Of the kind seen on sand lots; not professional. The professional football team was so confused by their opponents’fast play that they acted like a bunch of sand-lot amateurs....
- Значение идиомы color guard [color guard] {n.} A military guard of honor for the flag of a country; also: a guard of honor to carry and protect a flag or banner. There were four Marines in the color guard in the parade. Bob was picked to be a color guard and to carry the banner of the drum corps […]...
- A blonde and a brunette were talking one day A blonde and a brunette were talking one day. The brunette said that her boyfriend had a slight dandruff problem but she gave him “Head and Shoulders” and it cleared it up. The blonde asked inquisitively, “How do you give shoulders?”...
- During the Six Day War During the Six Day War, this division of Arabs is making its way across the burning desert sands towards Israel, when the Arab commander, bouncing along in his jeep, spots an aged Israeli on top a distant sand dune. The commander drops his binoculars and shouts orders to a foot soldier to run up ahead […]...
- Перевод идиомы rub shoulders with somebody, значение выражения и пример использования Идиома: rub shoulders with somebody Перевод: общаться, встречаться, вращаться в обществе; находиться бок о бок (с кем-либо) Пример: At the party we were able to rub shoulders with many important people. На вечере мы смогли пообщаться с многими важными людьми....
- Jewish fly A man goes into a bar and sits down to have a drink….he notices that at the other end of the bar is the most attractive woman he has ever seen….he is immediately lust-struck and decides that he must have her….He leans over to the bartender and asks if the bartender has any Spanish-fly in […]...
- Over the counter A middle aged man, about 5 foot 8 inches tall, walks into a Walmart and asks where the pharmacy counter is. He is directed to it. When he reaches it, he asks to see the pharmacist. The pharmacist comes and the man, looking around furtively, asks quietly, “Do you sell Viagra here?” The pharmacist answers […]...
- Capitalist and Socialist Hell A young, ruthless executive died and went to hell. When he got there, he saw one sign that said Capitalist Hell, and another that said Socialist Hell. In front of the Socialist Hell was an incredibly long line, while there was no-one in front of the Capitalist Hell. So the executive asked the guard, “What […]...
- Значение идиомы good faith [good faith] {n.} 1. Belief in another person’s honesty; trust. Uncle Dick let me have the keys to his candy store to show his goodfaith. – Often used in the phrase “in good faith”. The teacheraccepted Bob’s excuse for being late in good faith. 2. Honesty ofpurpose; trustworthiness. John agreed to buy Ted’s bicycle for […]...
- Перевод идиомы head and shoulders above (someone or something), значение выражения и пример использования Идиома: head and shoulders above (someone or something) Перевод: на голову выше, значительно лучше Пример: I believe that our team is head and shoulders above the other teams in the league. Я считаю, что наша команда на голову выше других команд в лиге....
- Перевод идиомы have a good head on one’s shoulders, значение выражения и пример использования Идиома: have a good head on one’s shoulders Перевод: иметь хорошую, умную голову на плечах; быть умным, смышленым Пример: The new salesman has a good head on his shoulders. У нового продавца хорошая голова на плечах....
- Значение идиомы catch off guard [catch off guard] {v. phr.} To challenge or confront a person at a time of lack of preparedness or sufficient care. The suspect was caught off guard by the detective and confessed where he had hidden the stolen car....
- Two bags Mr. Goldfarb was walking down the street. In each arm he carried a bag. He ran into Mr. Klein. Mr. Klein asked, “What are those bags for?” “I’m collecting for Israel”, said Mr. Goldfarb. “You need two bags?”, asked Mr. Klein. “I’ve got a system, said Mr. Goldfarb. It’s fantastic. I go into the men’s […]...
- Death row sing along There was an inmate on death row, and he was scheduled to be put to death by firing squad the next morning. Throughout the day, the prison guards were being very nice to him. But when they asked him if he wanted something specific for his last meal, he didn’t want anything special. When they […]...
- Going Through Customs Customs Officer: Your Passports, please. What is your Final destination? Ozkan: Los Angeles. Customs Officer: How long is your Stay? Ozkan: We’ll be there for a week. Customs Officer: What is the purpose of your trip? Ozkan: I’m going there on Business and my family is Accompanying me on vacation. Customs Officer: Who are you […]...
- Some very common traits in two drunks A man stumbles up to the only other patron in a bar and asks if he could buy him a drink. “Why of course,” comes the reply. The first man then asks: “Where are you from?” “I’m from Ireland,” replies the second man. The first man responds: “You don’t say, I’m from Ireland too! Let’s […]...
- Значение идиомы eye out [eye out] Careful watch or attention; guard. – Used after “keep”,”have” or “with”. Keep an eye out. We’re close to Joe’s house. -Usually used with “for”. Mary has her eye out for bargains. They went through the woods very quietly, with an eye out forIndians. Compare: LOOK OUT, ON GUARD, ON THE ALERT, ON THE […]...