Marines and the police

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1. Daddy is going to warThe following is supposedly a true story relating a situation that actually occurred during the war. During the Persian Gulf War, I was assigned to go to Saudi Arabia. As I was saying good-bye to my family, my three-year-old son, Christopher, was holding on to my leg and pleading with me not to leave. «No, ... Читать далее...
2. Tribute to the MarinesA tribute to the United States Marine Corps and the reasons why they are superior to the many organizations of the world. . . * United States Marine Corps Birthday: 10 NOVEMBER 1775 * 1) Best haircut. Hands down. You can’t have a bad hair day with a high and tight. And you spend less ... Читать далее...
3. This dog loves peopleThe following is supposedly a true story. To be included, besides being true, the story is most likely strange, weird, surprising, or funny. A normally sweet Great Dane Psil has one quirk: she hates United Parcel Service drivers. While walk Psil one day, around the corner of a house came a UPS man. Struggling to ... Читать далее...
4. Beware of drunken bearsThe following is supposedly a true story. To be included, besides being true, the story is most likely strange, weird, surprising, or funny. LOS ANGELES TIMES, October 8: People of northwestern Montana have been advised to be on the lookout for drunken bears. Black bears and grizzlies have been congregating along the tracks of the ... Читать далее...
5. Значение идиомы tell it to the marines[tell it to the marines] or [tell it toSweeney] {slang} I don’tbelieve you; Stop trying to fool me. John said, «My father knowsthe President of the United States.» Dick answered, «Tell it to themarines.»...
6. Find out about the catThe following is supposedly a true story. To be included, besides being true, the story is most likely strange, weird, surprising, or funny. A chauffeur worked for a woman who took her cat with her on rides. During one trip, the driver droped her at a mall before he gasing up. The cat remained in ... Читать далее...
7. Problems during flightThe following is supposedly a true story. To be included, besides being true, the story is most likely strange, weird, surprising, or funny. On a recent flight, an elderly passenger kept peering out the window. Since it was totally dark, all she could see was the blinking wing-tip light. Finally, she rang for the flight ... Читать далее...
8. Try to catch the rabbitThe Los Angeles Police Department (LAPD), The FBI, and the CIA are all trying to prove that they are the best at apprehending criminals. The President decides to give them a test. He releases a rabbit into a forest and each of them has to catch it. The CIA goes in. They place animal informants ... Читать далее...
9. Tour near glaciersThe following is supposedly a true story relating to an actual guide and his response to questions. Swiss mountain guides who always do the same trails can get tired answering the same questions over and over. One time an English tourist was giving his guide an especially hard time with silly questions. They were walking ... Читать далее...
10. Choking a girlfriendThe following is supposedly a true story. To be included, besides being true, the story is most likely strange, weird, surprising, or funny. Sunday, November 29, 1992 The Ontario Press Council dismissed a complaint filed by Allan Sorensen against the Toronto Sun, which had reported that Sorenson had choked his ex-girlfriend. Sorensen’s complaint was that ... Читать далее...
11. Talking on a planeThe following is supposedly a true story relating to an actual event that took place during a flight. As a Delta Air Lines jet was flying over Arizona on a clear day, the co-pilot was providing his passengers with a running commentary about landmarks over the PA system. «Coming up on the right, you can ... Читать далее...
12. Appear on televisionThe following is supposedly a true story. To be included, besides being true, the story is most likely strange, weird, surprising, or funny. Wednesday, October 21, 1992 In July, Danny Fouts and his wife and her sister, in New York City to appear on the «Sally Jessy Raphael» show to discuss their arrest for shoplifting ... Читать далее...
13. Set up hidden camerasThe following is supposedly a true story. To be included, besides being true, the story is most likely strange, weird, surprising, or funny. December 18, 1992 Michael J. Schmidt, 29, set up a hidden video camera at his home near Superior, Wis., because he had been burglarized several times and thought he could catch the ... Читать далее...
14. Battles on the seaThe following is supposedly a true story relating to a United States shipping company. THE U. S. shipping company had a new ship built. It was to be the pride of the fleet, and something special was wanted to decorate the captain’s saloon, a large living room/office where the vessel’s business and entertaining would take ... Читать далее...
15. Insulting to womenThe following is supposedly a true story. To be included, besides being true, the story is most likely strange, weird, surprising, or funny. Bangkok, Thailand A member of the ruling junta who oversees Thai Airways International has ordered the carrier to hire more-attractive stewardesses. «We have received a lot of complaints that our air hostesses ... Читать далее...
16. Annoying phone callsThe following is supposedly a true story. To be included, besides being true, the story is most likely strange, weird, surprising, or funny. A co-worker of mine fielded phone calls from his Alumni Association every three months for about five years, ostensibly checking to see that his records were up to date, and coincidentally asking ... Читать далее...
17. Ordering fast foodThe following is supposedly a true story. To be included, besides being true, the story is most likely strange, weird, surprising, or funny. One night, a few co-workers at the computer data centre where I work stayed late and we all started to get hungry. We decided to order in food by phone, but our ... Читать далее...
18. Convince these studentsAn Army recruiter delivered a windy pep talk to encourage a group of college students to join the VOLAR. But the culminating point of his oration was greeted with cat calls, whistles and projection of rotten eggs and an assortment of no less rotten vegetables and fruits. A visitor asked a student: «Why you throw ... Читать далее...
19. Please show the I. DThe following supposedly a true story. This guy walked into a little corner store with a shot gun and demanded all the cash from the cash drawer. After the cashier put the cash in a bag, the robber saw a bottle of scotch that he wanted behind the counter on the shelf. He told the ... Читать далее...
20. Main Vice PresidentTom was so excited about his promotion to Vice President of the company he worked for and kept bragging about it to his wife for weeks on end. Finally she couldn’t take it any longer, and told him, «Listen, it means nothing, they even have a vice president of peas at the grocery store!». «Really?» ... Читать далее...
21. Bull free in TokoyoThe following is supposedly a true story. To be included, besides being true, the story is most likely strange, weird, surprising, or funny. Tokyo, Japan: A bull bound for slaughter gave its handlers the slip Wednesday and escaped into Tokyo’s teeming streets. The 1,300-pound bull, shipped in from southern Japan, thundered down the gangplank as ... Читать далее...
22. Newspaper typing errorThe following is supposedly a true story. To be included, besides being true, the story is most likely strange, weird, surprising, or funny. The following appeared on the back page of one of Australia’s more outrageous computer publications, «Computing Australia», 21st Sept 1987: … Blame it on the computer. An unfriendly computer has been held ... Читать далее...
23. Drinking and drivingThe following is supposedly a true story. To be included, besides being true, the story is most likely strange, weird, surprising, or funny. The «Environmental Engineering News» published some rather sobering information about punishment for drunk driving convictions in other countries. In Australia, the names of drunk drivers are printed in newspapers under the caption, ... Читать далее...
24. Idiots on the computerAny time you feel dumb, don’t worry. Check out the following excerpts from a «Wall Street Journal» article by Jim Carlton. Lots of people are dumber than you. 1. Compaq is considering changing the command «Press Any Key» to «Press Return Key» because of the many calls asking where the «Any» key is. 2. AST ... Читать далее...
25. Значение идиомы base[base] See: FIRST BASE, GET TO FIRST BASE or REACH FIRST BASE, LOAD THE BASES or FILL THE BASES, OFF BASE, SECOND BASE, STOLEN BASE, THIRD BASE....
26. The LAPD, The FBI, and the CIA are all trying toThe LAPD, The FBI, and the CIA are all trying to prove that they are the best at apprehending criminals. The President decides to give them a test. He releases a rabbit into a forest and each of them has to catch it. The CIA goes in. They place animal informants throughout the forest. They ... Читать далее...
27. Значение идиомы open fire[open fire] {v. phr.} To begin shooting. The big warship turnedits guns toward the enemy ship and opened fire. When the policemancalled to the robber to stop, he turned and suddenly opened fire....
28. Значение идиомы get to first base[get to first base] or [reach first base] {v. phr.} To make a goodstart; really begin; succeed, Joe had a long paper to write forhistory class, but when the teacher asked for it, Joe hadn’t got tofirst base yet. Suppose Sam falls in love with Betty. Can he evenget to first base with her? George ... Читать далее...
29. Значение идиомы draw fire[draw fire] {v. phr.} 1. To attract or provoke shooting; be a target. The general’s white horse drew the enemy’s fire. 2. To bring criticism or argument; make people say bad things about you. Having the newest car in your group is sure to draw fire....
30. Some police quotes«The handcuffs are tight because they’re new. They’ll stretch out after you wear them awhile.» «If you run, you’ll only go to jail tired.» «So, you don’t know how fast you were going. I guess that means I can write anything I want on the ticket, huh?» «Yes sir, you can talk to the shift ... Читать далее...
31. Перевод слова baseBase — основа, базис Перевод слова Mountain base — подножие горы base of the skull — основание черепа base motives — низменные побуждения One should always Base one’s opinion on facts. Всегда следует основывать свое мнение на фактах. Taxation is Based on income. Размер налога определяется доходом. Vodka is the Base for many cocktails. Водка ... Читать далее...
32. Ex-Police car jokeWe have various local spots where the teenagers park, cruise, hold drag races, drink beer etc. We happen to own a white 1983 Dodge Diplomat, the exact kind of car used by the State Patrol around here as well as many law enforcement agencies nationwide. (Actually our car WAS a state patrol car, but that’s ... Читать далее...
33. Police chief hates youTen Signs The Police Chief Hates You 10. He sends you on drug raids….alone. 9. He refers to you as «Our Little Mascot.» 8. The job description in your contract includes «crash test dummy» and «pepper-spray test subject.» 7. Instead of a gun, you were issued a water pistol. 6. He always tells you that ... Читать далее...
34. Значение идиомы cover ground[cover ground] or [cover the ground] {v. phr.} 1. To go a distance; travel. Mr. Rogers likes to travel in planes, because they cover ground so quickly. 2. {informal} To move over an area at a speed that is pleasing; move quickly over a lot of ground. The new infielder really covers the ground at ... Читать далее...
35. A drummer, tired of being ridiculed by his peersA drummer, tired of being ridiculed by his peers, decides to learn how to play some «real» musical instruments. He goes to a music store, walks in, approaches the store clerk, and says «I’ll take that red trumpet over there and that accordion.» The store clerk looks at him a bit funny, and replies «OK, ... Читать далее...
36. A bar nameA guy walks into a store and says to the managaer «why doesn’t your store have a name», the store manager says «I haven’t thought of one yet but I think u can help me, what’s your girlfriend’s name.» The guy says «Jenny» then the store owner says «What’s do you like most about Jenny» ... Читать далее...
37. A rookie police officer was assignedA rookie police officer was assigned to ride in a cruiser with an experienced partner. A call came over the car’s radio telling them to disperse some people who were loitering. The officers drove to the street and observed a small crowd standing on a corner. The rookie rolled down his window and said, «Let’s ... Читать далее...
38. Перевод слова storyStory — рассказ, повесть, сюжет Перевод слова Short story — рассказ, новелла funny story — анекдот the main thing in a novel is the story — самое главное в романе — это сюжет His Story rings true. Его рассказ звучит правдоподобно. He told us the Story. Он рассказал нам эту историю. I accredited his Story. ... Читать далее...
39. A little boy and his dad are standing in lineA little boy and his dad are standing in line at the grocery store behind a big fat lady. The little boy says, «hey dad, look how fat that lady is!» «Shhhh, quiet son, she’ll hear you.» «But dad, look how big and fat that lady is!» «Shhhhhh, don’t say that son, it’s not nice!» ... Читать далее...
40. Значение идиомы hang fire[hang fire] {v. phr.} 1. To fail or be slow in shooting or firing. Smith pulled the trigger, but the gun hung fire and the deerescaped. 2. To be slow in beginning; to be delayed; to wait. Theboys’ plans for organizing a scout troop hung fire because they couldnot find a man to be scoutmaster....