Man takes the ferry home from work

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1. Humor about the Stupid Irish Higgins lived in Staten Island, New York, and worked in Manhattan. He had to take the ferryboat home every night. One evening, he got down to the ferry and found there was a wait for the next boat, So Higgins decided to stop at a nearby tavern. Before long he was feeling no pain. When […]...
2. The newly married man came home from work The newly married man came home from work to find his new bride stretched languorously on the sofa, dressed in a negligee. “Guess what I got planned for dinner?” she asked seductively. “And don’t you dare tell me you had it for lunch today.”...
3. A man gets home early from work A man gets home early from work and hears strange noises coming from the bedroom. He rushes upstairs to find his wife naked on the bed, sweating and panting. “What’s up?” he says. “I’m having a heart attack,” cries the woman. He rushes downstairs to grab the phone for ambulance, but just as he’s dialing, […]...
4. A disabled sea captain An old sea captain with one wooden leg, one hook replacing a missing hand, and one missing eye goes into a bar. The sailor sitting next to him says, “You’re really in bad shape. What happened to your leg?” “I fell overboard,” says the Captain, “and before my mates could pull me aboard, a shark […]...
5. Перевод слова sailor Sailor – матрос, моряк, мореплаватель Перевод слова A sailor before the mast – рядовой матрос sailor suit – матроска to be a good sailor – хорошо переносить качку на море He worked as a Sailor on a cargo ship. Он работал матросом на сухогрузе. She is a poor Sailor. Ее быстро укачивает. What’s it like […]...
6. An old man, Mr. Smith, resided in a nursing home An old man, Mr. Smith, resided in a nursing home. One day he went into the nurses’ office and informed Nurse Jones that his penis died. Nurse Jones, realizing the Mr. Smith was old and forgetful decided to play along with him. “It did? I’m sorry to hear that,” she replied. Two days later, Mr. […]...
7. These two guys are car pooling home from work one day These two guys are car pooling home from work one day. Traffic is barely crawling along and they are both a bit bored. So the driver is looking around and suddenly he points at two dogs having sex on someone’s front lawn. “Look”, he shouts “What are the those dogs doing? are they fighting?” The […]...
8. Mary was having an affair during the day while Mary was having an affair during the day while her husband, John, was at work. One day she was in bed with her boyfriend, Ralph, and she heard her husband’s car pull in the driveway. She yelled at Ralph: “Hurry! Grab your clothes and jump out the window my husband is home early!” Ralph looked […]...
9. Перевод слова dock Dock – док, пристань; скамья подсудимых; сокращать, урезать Перевод слова In the dock – на скамье подсудимых to place vessel in dock – ставить судно в док to dock smb.’s wages – урезать заработную плату unloading dock – дебаркадер The ship is in Dock for repairs. Корабль находится в доке на ремонте. The dog was […]...
10. Last winter I was laid up at home with the flu Last winter I was laid up at home with the flu. My fiancee’ called and volunteered to come over and fix dinner and play nursemaid to me. I declined, not wanting to pass on the flu to her. “Okay honey”, she told me, “Will wait till after we get married. Then we can spend the […]...
11. Перевод слова deck Deck – палуба, настил; колода карт Перевод слова To swab a deck – драить палубу to cut a deck – снимать колоду to shuffle a deck – тасовать карты Let’s go up on Deck. Давайте поднимемся на палубу. Peter stayed below Deck. Питер остался на нижней палубе. The other players accused him of stacking the […]...
12. A young wife, her boorish husband and a young good looking A young wife, her boorish husband and a young good looking sailor were shipwrecked on an island. One morning, the sailor climbed a tall coconut tree and yelled, “Stop making love down there!” “What’s the matter with you?” the husband said when the sailor climbed down. “We weren’t making love.” “Sorry,” said the sailor, “From […]...
13. Значение идиомы work off [work off] {v.} To make go away, especially by working. John worked off the fat around his waist by doing exercise everymorning. Mr. Smith worked off his anger by chopping wood....
14. A man comes home from work and finds his wife admiring her breasts A man comes home from work and finds his wife admiring her breasts in the mirror. He asks, “What are you doing?” She replies, “I went to the doctor today, and he told me I have the breasts of a 25 year old.” The husband retorts, “Well, what did he say about your 50 year […]...
15. Значение идиомы leap year [leap year] {n.} Every fourth year during which the month ofFebruary contains 29 rather than 28 days. During a leap year onemust wait a day longer for one’s February pay check....
16. Time Off from Work My buddy from college, Jack, was getting married and our friend Rob was planning a Bachelor party for him in Vegas. It was going to be the Last weekend of the month and I wanted to go. The trouble was, I was scheduled to work that weekend. I needed to get the Time off from […]...
17. Значение идиомы lay up [lay up] {v.} 1. To collect a supply of; save for future, use;store. Bees lay up honey for the winter. 2. To keep in the houseor in bed because of sickness or injury; disable. Jack was laid upwith a twisted knee and couldn’t play in the final game. 3. To takeout of active service; put […]...
18. Little Johnny is coming home from the store Little Johnny’s is coming home from the store swinging the loaf of bread in one hand and the other hand in his pants pocket. Along come Priest Joe and he thinks to himself, “This is a good opportunity to say something from the bible to Little Johnny.” He walks up to Little Johnny and says, […]...
19. A story with a moral While they were taking up the collection, John leaned forward and said, “Hey, Marie, how about you and me go to dinner next Friday?” “Why Yes, John, that would be nice,” said Marie. Well, John couldn’t believe his luck. All week long he polished up his car, and on Friday he picked up Marie and […]...
20. Значение идиомы on deck [on deck] {adv.} or {adj. phr.} 1. On a floor of a ship open to theoutdoors. The passengers were playing shufflehoard on deck. Thesailors kept busy cleaning and painting on deck. 2. {informal} Readyto do something; present. The scout leader told the boys to be ondeck at 8:00 Saturday morning for the hike. Dick was […]...
21. A New Year’s Cruise My friends and I decided to do something a little different this year. Instead of going to a crowded club or throwing a party on New Year’s Eve, we decided to take a Harbor cruise instead. The cruise would be four hours long, and it included dinner, music, dancing, and a great view of the […]...
22. Перевод сленгового выражения work one’s ass off / work one’s tail off / work one’s buns off / work one’s butt off, значение и пример использования Сленговое выражение: work one’s ass off / work one’s tail off / work one’s buns off / work one’s butt off Сленговое выражение: work one’s ass off / work one’s tail off / work one’s buns off / work one’s butt off груб. Перевод: усердно трудиться, много работать Пример: You’ve been working your ass off […]...
23. Перевод слова leap Leap – прыжок, резкое изменение, скачок Перевод слова Large leaps – длинные прыжки prices went up with a leap – цены внезапно подскочили his heart gave a leap – сердце у него дрогнуло to leap over a fence – прыгать через забор The dolphin Leaped out of the water. Дельфин выскочил из воды. Prices will […]...
24. Having a Best Friend Lucy: I’m so excited! My friend, Marlene, is coming to town for a visit. Buddy: Have I met Marlene? Lucy: No, I don’t think so. We Grew up together and we were always Joined at the hip. Buddy: When I was little, I had a friend like that. We were Blood brothers. Lucy: Yeah, Marlene […]...
25. Значение идиомы keep the home fires burning [keep the home fires burning] {v. phr.} To keep things going asusual while someone is away; wait at home to welcome someone back. While John was in the army, Mary kept the home fires burning....
26. Значение идиомы jump on [jump on] or [jump all over] or [land on] or [land all over] {v. phr.}, {informal} To scold; criticize; blame. Tom’s boss jumped allover Tom because he made a careless mistake. Janice landed onRobert for dressing carelessly for their date. “I don’t know whyBill is always jumping on me; I just don’t understand him,” said […]...
27. Travel with a horse An out-of-towner drove his car into a ditch in a desolated area. Luckily, a local farmer came to help with his big strong horse named Buddy. He hitched Buddy up to the car and yelled, “Pull, Nellie, pull!” Buddy didn’t move. Then the farmer hollered, “Pull, Buster, pull!” Buddy didn’t respond. Once more the farmer […]...
28. Значение идиомы good buddy [good buddy] {n.}, {slang}, {citizen’s hand radio jargon}Salutation used by truckers and automobile drivers who have CB radios. What’s the Smokey situation, good buddy?...
29. Диалог на английском языке с переводом “Домашнее задание (Home Work)” По-английски Перевод на русский Mum: Have you got any homework for tomorrow, Ann? Мама: Энн, у тебя есть домашнее задание на завтра? Ann: Yes, I have some assignments in Maths and French. I also need to prepare a project in History. Can you help me with it? Энн: Да, у меня есть несколько заданий по […]...
30. Humor about Irish Marriages Some years ago, Michael J. Flanagan, a successful New York contractor, was standing on the deck of the Staten Island Ferry when a car got loose and sent him into the river where he drowned. The following Sunday his widow, all decked out in deepest black, was standing on the church steps after Mass, receiving […]...
31. Mr. Smith was brought to Mercy Hospital Mr. Smith was brought to Mercy Hospital (a Catholic hospital), and taken quickly in for coronary surgery. The operation went well and, as the groggy man regained consciousness, he was reassured by a Sister of Mercy, who was waiting by his bed. “Mr. Smith, you’re going to be just fine,” said the nun, gently patting […]...
32. A young man joined the Army and signed up with the paratroopers A young man joined the Army and signed up with the paratroopers. He went though the standard training, completed the practice jumps from higher and higher structures, and finally went to take his first jump from an airplane. The next day, he called home to his father to tell him the news. “So, did you […]...
33. This woman has her bridge club every Thursday night This woman has her bridge club every Thursday night and after a peaceful game or two with the ladies, she goes home to fix her husband dinner when he gets home from work. Well, one Thursday, she’s playing a great game and she has an incredible hand when she notices the time. “Oh, no! I […]...
34. Фразовый глагол tie up – перевод и значение, пример использования Фразовый глагол: tie up Перевод: надежно, прочно привязать, связать Пример: When we dock, make sure you tie the boat up. Когда мы войдем в док, обязательно привяжи лодку как следует....
35. Значение идиомы sailor collar [sailor collar] {n.} A large square collar like those worn bysailors. Little Timmy’s suit has a sailor collar. Mary’s blousehas a sailor collar....
36. Can you pass the Baby Boomer Quiz? 1. Name the Beatles, first and last names. 2. Finish this line: “Lions, and tigers, and bears…” (2 words) 3. “Hey kids, what time is it?” (4 words) 4. What do M&Ms do? 5. What helps build strong bodies 12 ways? 6. Before he was Mohammed Ali, before he was The Greatest, we knew him […]...
37. Пословица / поговорка it takes all kinds to make a world / it takes all sorts to make a world – перевод и значение, пример использования Пословица / поговорка: it takes all kinds to make a world / it takes all sorts to make a world Перевод: люди всякие бывают; все люди разные Эквивалент в русском языке: о вкусах не спорят Пример: The woman was wearing very strange clothes. It seems that it takes all kinds to make a world. Эта […]...
38. Two priests and a rabbi were discussing what portion of the Two priests and a rabbi were discussing what portion of the weekly collection they kept for themselves. The first priest explained that he drew a circle on the ground, stepped a few paces back and pitched the money towards the circle. What landed in the circle he kept and what landed outside the circle god […]...
39. Phone joke II One night when you have a few friends around, take turns calling the same phone number, a really obnoxious acquaintance that won’t recognize your voices is always a good choice. When the person answers, try to leave a message for John Smith (or any name that sounds real). Insist that you have the right number […]...
40. A little girl came running into the house crying A little girl came running into the house crying and miserable from a small cut she just received. She asked her mom for a glass of cider. “Why do you want cider?” asked Mom. “To take the pain away,” sobbed the little girl. Tired of all the tears, Mom poured her a glass. The little […]...