Love Jesus

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1. Jesus and Moses are sitting in a boat fishingJesus and Moses are sitting in a boat fishing and Jesus says to Moses «I want to do a miracle so we can feel like the good old days.» and Moses says «Yeah sure.» So Jesus gets up and says «I think I’ll walk on the water, that was always a good one.» So Jesus ... Читать далее...
2. Значение идиомы Jesus boots[Jesus boots] or [Jesus shoes] {n.}, {slang} Men’s sandals, particularly as worn by hippies and very casually dressed people. Idig your Jesus boots, man, they look cool....
3. And Jesus said unto his disciplesAnd Jesus said unto his disciples, «Whom do men say that I am?» And His disciples answered unto Him, «Master, thou art the supreme eschatological manifestation of omnipotent ecclesiastical authority, the absolute, divine, sacerdotal monarch.» And Jesus said, «What?»...
4. The Naming of JesusA group of biblical scholars were involved in a heated discussion about how Jesus of Nazareth was named. How did he become known as the Messiah, or Christ. One of the scholars argued that the name was a Greek corruption of Aramaic, and purists and fundamentalists ought to use the name Joshua. Another argued that ... Читать далее...
5. Who has the right of way when four cars approachQ: Who has the right of way when four cars approach a four-way stop at the same time? A: The pickup truck with the gun rack and the bumper sticker saying, «Guns don’t kill people. I do.»...
6. Scientists Reveal What Jesus Looked Like And It’ll Surprise YouIt’s days like this when you realise just how amazing technology can be, as scientists reveal what they believe Jesus really looked like. People often imagine Jesus with long hair, a lengthy beard and bizarrely — despite being born in the middle east — with fair skin. Has nobody questioned that at all? Besides having ... Читать далее...
7. LoveLove is the best feeling in the world. Love makes the world go round. It is the greatest mystery of all times. If you ask someone «What is love?», he or she will hardly find enough words to express its meaning. Love can be different. There is love for parents, love for children, love for ... Читать далее...
8. How did they know that Jesus was Jewish?Q: How did they know that Jesus was Jewish? A: Because he lived at home until he was thirty, he went into his father’s business, his mother thought he was God, and he thought his mother was a virgin....
9. Пословица / поговорка love me, love my dog — перевод и значение, пример использованияПословица / поговорка: love me, love my dog Перевод: любишь меня, люби и мою собаку (т. е. все со мной связанное) Эквивалент в русском языке: кто гостю рад, тот и собачку его накормит Пример: «Love me, love my dog», the man told his fiance when she asked him to sell his favorite chair which she ... Читать далее...
10. Now he’s in troubleA police officer had just pulled a car over. When he walked up to the car a man rolled down the window and said, «what’s the problem officer?» To which the policeman responded, «I stopped you for running that red light behind you.» Just then the man’s wife leaned forward from the driver’s seat and ... Читать далее...
11. Soldier stands guardA new soldier was on sentry duty at the main gate. His orders were clear. No car was to enter unless it had a special sticker on the windshield. A big Army car came up with a general seated in the back. The sentry said, «Halt, who goes there?» The chauffeur, a corporal, says, «General ... Читать далее...
12. A man was driving up a steep and narrow mountain roadA man was driving up a steep and narrow mountain road. A woman was driving down the same road. As they passed each other, the woman leaned out the window and yelled, «Pig!» The man immediately leaned out his window and replied, «Bitch!» They continue on their way and as the man rounded the next ... Читать далее...
13. Значение идиомы puppy love[puppy love] also [calf love] {n.}, {informal} The first love ofvery young people. When John and Mary began going around togetherin junior high school, their parents said it was just puppy love....
14. Reward for goodnessThree men died in a car accident and met Jesus himself at the Pearly Gates. The Lord spoke unto them saying, «I will ask you each a simple question. If you tell the truth I will allow you into heaven, but if you lie….Hell is waiting for you. To the first man the Lord asked, ... Читать далее...
15. Jesus has risenEaster is approaching. Father O’Maley checks estimates for the flower decoration of the altar. The catholic florist — $ 300. «Too expensive» moans the priest. The protestant florist — $ 250, «No, it would not be right to buy at another Christian believer, especially as the price difference is rather small.» But lo! Solly Goldberg ... Читать далее...
16. A Burglar is in Big TroubleA burglar has just made it into the house he’s intending ransacking, and he’s looking around for stuff to steal. All of a sudden, a little voice pipes up, «I can see you, and so can Jesus!» Startled, the burglar looks around the room. No one there at all, so he goes back to his ... Читать далее...
17. Driving school testThe following are a sampling of real answers received on exams given by the California Department of Transportation’s driving school. Q: Do you yield when a blind pedestrian is crossing the road? A: What for? He can’t see my license plate. Q: Who has the right of way when four cars approach a four-way stop ... Читать далее...
18. One Sunday, the pope REALLY wanted to play golfOne Sunday, the pope REALLY wanted to play golf. But he couldn’t, since it was Sunday. But he figured, well, it’s ok if i just play a little bit. So he changed clothes and went out into the green. Up in heaven an angel saw him and reported it to Jesus. However, Jesus didn’t do ... Читать далее...
19. Husband always insisted on making loveHusband always insisted on making love in the dark. After 20 years wife turns on the light, finds him holding a vibrator. She goes balistic, «You impotent bas*ard! How could you lie to me all these years?» Husband looks her straight in the eyes & calmly says, «I’ll explain the toy, you explain the kids…..»...
20. Do this while drivingStrange and silly things to do while driving. We do not advise doing any of the below «things to do while driving», as all driving should be taken seriously. The below «things to do while driving» are simply here for entertainment purposes. Vary your vehicle’s speed inversely with the speed limit. Roll down your windows ... Читать далее...
21. Значение идиомы make love[make love] {v. phr.} 1. To be warm, loving, and tender towardsomeone of the opposite sex; try to get him or her to love you too. There was moonlight on the roses and he made love to her in the porchswing. 2. To have sexual relations with. It is rumoredthat Alfred makes love to every ... Читать далее...
22. After their love-making session the young bride asks her husbandAfter their love-making session the young bride asks her husband «Was making love to me really the same as making love to Marilyn Monroe?» «Yes, she’s dead to!»»Was making love to me really the same as making love to Marilyn Monroe?» «Yes, she’s dead to!»...
23. Love to DeathA man goes to his doctor for his annual physical complaining of all kinds of mysterious ailments — lack of sleep, no drive, very little appetite, nervous, etc. After a complete exam, the doctor can find nothing physically wrong and suspects the man is suffering from depression. The two had been friends for many years, ... Читать далее...
24. California Driving Test AnswersThe following are a sampling of REAL answers received on exams given by the California Department of Transportation’s driving school (read at Saturday Traffic School for moving violation offenders.) Q: Do you yield when a blind pedestrian is crossing the road? A: What for? He can’t see my license plate. Q: Who has the right ... Читать далее...
25. Перевод слова loveLove — любовь, привязанность, влюбленность; любить Перевод слова Love of country — любовь к родине, патриотизм love of gain — корыстолюбие unrequited love — любовь без взаимности love at first sight — любовь с первого взгляда She Loves her husband deeply. Она сильно любит своего мужа. I Love cooking Я люблю готовить. I fell in ... Читать далее...
26. Love means different things to different peopleВ топике Люди по разному относятся к любви – автор старается разобраться, что есть любовь? На Земле миллионы людей и у каждого свое понятие истины, дружбы, ненависти, верности и, конечно, любви. Это чувство описывали поэты и писатели, каждый по-своему. Можно встретить разные определения любви: мудрая, глупая, глубокая, горькая, забавная и др. Некоторые считают, что любовь ... Читать далее...
27. Значение идиомы in love[in love] {adj. phr.} Liking very much; loving. John is in lovewith Helen. Tom and Ellen arc in love. Mary is in love withher new wristwatch....
28. Darling, she whispered after they had finished making love«Darling,» she whispered after they had finished making love, «Will you still make love like that to me after we’re married?» He considered this for a moment, and then replied, «I think so. I’ve always been especially fond of married women.»...
29. The ReverendFrancis Norton woke up Sunday morning and realizing it was an exceptionally beautiful and sunny early spring day, decided he just had to play golf. So… he told the Associate Pastor that he was feeling sick and convinced him to say Mass for him that day. As soon as the Associate Pastor left the room, ... Читать далее...
30. Friendship & Love&nbspSome people think that life-long friendship exists only in books and films. Others believe that it exists in real life. Friendship is considered one of the central human experiences and for many people it may be as important as love. There are different types of friendship. People have close friends, pen pals or just acquaintances. ... Читать далее...
31. I’ve never understood why women love catsI’ve never understood why women love cats. Cats are independent, they don’t listen, they don’t come in when you call, they like to stay out all night, come home and expect to be fed and stroked, then want to be left alone and sleep. In other words, every quality that women hate in a man, ... Читать далее...
32. Значение идиомы love affair[love affair] {n.} A friendship between lovers; a romance orcourtship. The love affair of Bob and Jane went on for months. Harry had many love affairs, but he never married....
33. A helicopter was flying around above SeattleA helicopter was flying around above Seattle yesterday when an electrical malfunction disabled all of aircraft’s electronic navigation and communication equipment. Due to the clouds and haze the pilot could not determine his position or course to steer to the airport. The pilot saw a tall building, flew toward it, circled, drew a handwritted sign ... Читать далее...
34. Значение идиомы love-in[love-in] {n.}, {slang}, {informal} A festival or occasion tocelebrate life, human sensuality, the beauty of nature, humansexuality, and universal love; affairs so conceived by some frequentlydeteriorate into obscenity and drug using sessions in parody of theirstated purpose. The hippies gathered for a big love-inin the Halght-Ashbury district of SanFrancisco....
35. Try to get some restA man had been driving all night and by morning was still far from his destination. He decided to stop at the next city he came to, and park somewhere quiet so he could get an hour or two of sleep. As luck would have it, the quiet place he chose happened to be on ... Читать далее...
36. Arguing about the signA man was driving down a local street one day and approached a stop sign. He barely slowed down and ran right through the stop sign after glancing for traffic. What the driver didn’t know was that a policeman was watching the intersection. The policeman pulled out after him and stopped the car two blocks ... Читать далее...
37. Любовь/ LoveНа английском языке Перевод на русский язык Love Любовь Love is the best feeling in the world. Love makes the world go round. It is the greatest mystery of all times. If you ask someone “What is love?”, he or she will hardly find enough words to express its meaning. Love can be different. There ... Читать далее...
38. Пословица / поговорка love is blind — перевод и значение, пример использованияПословица / поговорка: love is blind Перевод: любовь слепа Эквивалент в русском языке: любовь зла, полюбишь и козла Пример: The girl was not very attractive to most people but love is blind and her boyfriend loved her very much. Девушка не очень нравилась большинству людей, но любовь слепа, и ее молодой человек очень ее любил....
39. Значение идиомы for love or money[for love or money] {adv. phr.} For anything; for any price. Usedin negative sentences. I wouldn’t give him my dog for love ormoney. Compare: FOR ALL THE WORLD....
40. A Love LetterVicky: What are you working on? Issac: If I tell you, will you Promise not to laugh? Vicky: All right. What is it? Issac: It’s a Love letter to Julie. Vicky: Isn’t it a little Premature? You’ve only been going out for a month. Issac: Maybe, but I really want her to know how I ... Читать далее...