Lawyers as lab rats

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1. Lawyers arrive in JapanSource: Sunday Daily Breeze Take heart, America. Three monkey wrenches have been thrown into Japan’s well-oiled economic machine. It’s only a mater of time before that powerful engine of productivity begins to sputter and fail. What could cause such a sharp turnaround? High interest rates? Increased unemployment? Lower productivity? No, it’s something much more economically ... Читать далее...
2. How to hunt elephants — Lawyers styleHow to hunt elephants — Lawyer’s style Lawyers don’t hunt elephants, but they do follow the herds around arguing about who owns the droppings. Software lawyers will claim that they own an entire herd based on the look and feel of one dropping. Sent by Alex...
3. History of lawyersWhy God Created Lawyers Satan was complaining bitterly to God, «You made the world so that it was not fair, and you made it so that most people would have to struggle every day, fight against their innate wishes and desires, and deal with all sorts of losses, grief, disasters, and catastrophes. Yet people worship ... Читать далее...
4. Empathic rats spring each other from jailYou enter a room with two cages. One contains a friend, who is clearly distressed. The other contains a bar of chocolate, which clearly isn’t. What do you do? While a few people would probably go for the chocolate first (and you know who you are), most would choose to free the friend. And so, ... Читать далее...
5. Lawyers on a juryA trial had been scheduled in a small town, but the court clerk had forgotten to call in a jury panel. Rather than adjourning what he thought was an exceptionally simple case, the judge ordered his bailiff to go through the courthouse and round up enough people to form a jury. The bailiff returned with ... Читать далее...
6. If lawyers are disbarred and clergymen defrockedIf lawyers are disbarred and clergymen defrocked, doesn’t it follow that electricians can be delighted, musicians denoted, cowboys deranged, models deposed, tree surgeons debarked, and dry cleaners depressed?...
7. Question and answerQ: How can you tell if a lawyer is well hung? A: You can’t get a finger between the rope and his neck! Q: If you are stranded on a desert island with Adolph Hitler, Atilla the Hun, and a lawyer, and you have a gun with only two bullets, what do you do? A: ... Читать далее...
8. Lawyers are greedyA lawyer opened the door of his BMW, when suddenly a car came along and hit the door, ripping it off completely. When the police arrived at the scene, the lawyer was complaining bitterly about the damage to his precious BMW. «Officer, look what they’ve done to my Beeeeemer!!!», he whined. «You lawyers are so ... Читать далее...
9. Перевод слова instituteInstitute — институт, учреждение; устанавливать, учреждать Перевод слова Institute of marriage — институт брака research institute — исследовательский институт to institute a society — основать общество In 1885 Henry R. Waite founded the American Institute of Civics. В 1885 г. Генри Р. Уэйт основал Американский институт граждановедения. We will Institute a number of measures to ... Читать далее...
10. Why lawyers should never ask a witness a questionWhy lawyers should never ask a witness a question if they aren’t prepared for the answer: In a trial, a Southern small town prosecuting attorney called his first witness to the stand — a grandmotherly, elderly woman. He approached her and asked, «Mrs.. Jones, do you know me?» She responded, «Why, yes I do know ... Читать далее...
11. Wigs and LawyersВ топике Парики и юристы рассказывается история появления в Англии столь знакомых нам белых, завитых и напудренных париков. Хотя за многовековую историю парики не раз отменяли, потом вводили снова, расписывали условия, при которых парики необходимы, они и по сей день являются непременным атрибутом британских судей и адвокатов. English legal dress has a long history. The ... Читать далее...
12. Humor about Drunk IrishmenA man was on a walking holiday in Ireland. He became thirsty so decided to ask at a home for something to drink. The lady of the house invited him in and served him a bowl of soup by the fire. There was a wee pig running around the kitchen, running up to the visitor ... Читать далее...
13. Constipation problemOld Aunt Dora went to her doctor to see what could be done about her constipation. «It’s terrible,» she said, «I haven’t moved my bowels in a week.» «I see. Have you done anything about it?» asked the doctor. «Naturally,» she replied, «I sit in the bathroom for a half — hour in the morning ... Читать далее...
14. Aunt Dora went to her doctor to see what could be doneAunt Dora went to her doctor to see what could be done about her constipation. «It’s terrible,» she said, «I haven’t moved my bowels in a week.» «I see. Have you done anything about it?» asked the doctor. «Naturally,» she replied, «I sit in the bathroom for a half-hour in the morning and again at ... Читать далее...
15. Picking a WardrobeI’m one of those people who doesn’t have much of a Fashion sense. I mean, I know that you shouldn’t wear a pink shirt with green pants, but beyond that I’m pretty much a Basket case when it comes to picking my Wardrobe. I have plenty of Short-sleeve and Long-sleeve dress shirts, some have a ... Читать далее...
16. This Is Why We Call It’Soccer,’ Not’Football’As the FIFA World Cup kicks off in Brazil this week, fans of the globe’s most popular sport have been tuning in to watch the greatest names in the game square off. But one question continues to crop up: Why is it that Americans insist on calling the sport «soccer,» while the rest of the ... Читать далее...
17. IDAHO TEACHER TRIES TO MOVE FORWARD AFTER SEX ED COMPLAINTDIETRICH — Tim McDaniel’s world turned upside down in 2013. The Dietrich science teacher found out four parents filed an ethics complaint against him as a result of a sex education lesson he taught. The Idaho Professional Standards Commission dropped the complaint and didn’t take action. But news of the complaint in Dietrich — a ... Читать далее...
18. A tourist wanders into a back-alley antique shopA tourist wanders into a back-alley antique shop in San Francisco’s Chinatown. Picking through the objects on display he discovers a detailed bronze sculpture of a rat. The sculpture is so interesting and unique that he picks it up and asks the shop owner the price. «Twelve dollars for the rat, sir,» says the shop ... Читать далее...
19. Russian and American SymbolsEach country has its own national symbols. Speaking about American symbols we must say about the national hymn. It is called «The Star-Spangled Banner». One of the most famous symbols of the USA is the Statue of Liberty. France gave the Statue to America in 1884 as a symbol of friendship. The eagle became the ... Читать далее...
20. Перевод слова associationAssociation — соединение, объединение, общество, союз Перевод слова Conditional association — условная связь mutual association — ассоциация взаимопомощи business association — торгово-промышленное товарищество He ceased to be a member of the Association. Он перестал быть членом ассоциации. This town has many happy childhood Associations for me. С этим городом связаны мои воспоминания о счастливом детстве. ... Читать далее...
21. Worries while flyingTwo statisticians were travelling in an airplane from LA to New York. About an hour into the flight, the pilot announced that they had lost an engine, but don’t worry, there are three left. However, instead of 5 hours it would take 7 hours to get to New York. A little later, he announced that ... Читать далее...
22. Living in a Condo or Co-opDiane: I’m so Exasperated! I’m really tired of the Homeowner’s association in my condo building. Ricardo: What’s the matter with it? Diane: The people who sit on the condo association board are a bunch of Do-nothings. I’ve filed Complaint after complaint and they refuse To enforce the House rules. Ricardo: Well, that might not be ... Читать далее...
23. The Purchasing powerCologne, May 27 dpa — The U. S. dollar is undervalued against the Deutsch-mark based on how many «Big Mac» hamburger sandwiches the two currencies can purchase, said one of Germany’s leading institutes. The Institute of the German Economy (IW) in Cologne noted that the popular sandwich by the McDonald’s restaurant chain is increasingly being ... Читать далее...
24. Comments of HillaryReporter: Governor Clinton, what damage do you think has been done to your campaign by your wife’s comment the other day about how «Hitler was really a great guy»? Clinton: (Mixture of sadness and anger, but articulate as always.) Hillary and myself are shocked, outraged, and deeply saddened by this terrible misunderstanding. The media hype ... Читать далее...
25. Значение идиомы follow suit[follow suit] {v. phr.} 1. To play a card of the same color andkind that another player has put down. When diamonds were led, Ihad to follow suit. 2. To do as someone else has done; followsomeone’s example. When the others went swimming, I followed suit....
26. Borat parody mistakenly played for Kazakh gold medalistKazakhstan sharpshooter Mariya Dmitrienko stood with her hand on her heart and a gold medal around her neck expecting to hear her country’s national anthem at an international shooting championship in Kuwait Friday. Instead, the sound system blared the insulting parody anthem from the movie «Borat: Cultural Learnings of America for Make Benefit Glorious Nation ... Читать далее...
27. Перевод слова healthHealth — здоровье Перевод слова Ministry of Health — министерство здравоохранения broken in health — с подорванным здоровьем hazard to public health — угроза для здоровья людей His Health rebounded. Здоровье его улучшилось. She swims for her Health. Она занимается плаванием ради здоровья. I drink your good Health. Я пью за ваше здоровье. Интересные факты ... Читать далее...
28. Перевод слова nationalNational — национальный, народный, государственный Перевод слова National budget — государственный бюджет national characteristic — национальные особенности national disaster — национальная катастрофа national flag — национальный флаг national affairs — вопросы государственной политики He’s a National celebrity. Он является национальной знаменитостью. The dancers were in National costume. Танцоры были в национальных костюмах....
29. Перевод слова suitSuit — костюм, набор; подходить, устраивать Перевод слова Business suit — костюм для службы, деловой костюм suit of sails — комплект парусов this suits me best — это меня устраивает больше всего they are suited to each other — они подходят друг другу Red Suits you. Красный вам к лицу. That Suits me fine. Это ... Читать далее...
30. Temperatures and What They Mean40 Californians shiver uncontrollably, Minnesotans go swimming. 35 Italian cars don’t start. 32 Water freezes. 30 You can see your breath. Politicians begin to worry about the Homeless. 25 Boston water freezes. Cat insists on sleeping on your bed with you. 20 Californians weep pitiably, Minnesotans eat ice cream. You can hear your breath. 15 ... Читать далее...
31. British Youth — Британская молодежьMost 18 and 19 year-olds in Britain are quite independent people. Relationships within the British family are different now. Children have more freedom to make their own decisions. For example, children aged 13 may be employed part time in Great Britain. Aged 16 they can leave home, marry with «parents’ consent». Age 18 can vote, ... Читать далее...
32. Buying a Men’s SuitSales clerk: Good afternoon. What can I help you find? Bo: I’m looking for a Suit for work. Sales clerk: I’m sure we have something for you. Are you looking for a traditional or Contemporary suit? Bo: I’m not sure. I’d like To try on some different ones. Sales clerk: That’s no problem. Let me ... Читать далее...
33. Значение идиомы rank and file[rank and file] {n. phr.} Ordinary people; the regular membershipof an organization; the enlisted privates in the Army. The generalusually inspects the rank and file on specific national holidays. The secretary of the association sends letters annually to the rankand file....
34. A glass of waterTell someone you can pin a glass of water to the wall — a real glass, not a paper cup, using an ordinary straight pin. Naturally they won’t believe, so you set out to prove it. Get a glass of water and a pin. Hold the glass up to the wall and start to pin ... Читать далее...
35. Annoying phone callsThe following is supposedly a true story. To be included, besides being true, the story is most likely strange, weird, surprising, or funny. A co-worker of mine fielded phone calls from his Alumni Association every three months for about five years, ostensibly checking to see that his records were up to date, and coincidentally asking ... Читать далее...
36. Значение идиомы strike up[strike up] {v.} 1a. To start to sing or play. We were sittingaround the camp fire. Someone struck up a song, and we all joined in. The President took his place on the platform, and the band struckup the national anthem. 1b. To give a signal to start playing. When the team ran on the ... Читать далее...
37. Перевод слова AmericanAmerican — американский, американец Перевод слова American states — американские государства; страны американского континента American colonies — английские колонии в Северной Америке of American make — американского производства Her mother is American. Ее мать — американка. She spoke with an American accent. Она говорила с американским акцентом. Интересные факты Обратите внимание, что в английском языке ... Читать далее...
38. Recovering After a SetbackCarl: Come on, let’s go. I have $500 Burning a hole in my pocket. Shelly: Where are we going? Carl: We’re going to the Track. I have a Tip on a Sure thing for one of this afternoon’s Races. This is exactly what I need after last week’s Setback. Shelly: You mean after losing all ... Читать далее...
39. Clean Jokes about IrelandAn American and an Irishman were enjoying a ride in the country when they came upon an unusual sight — an old gallows. The American thought he would have a joke on his Irish companion. «You see that, I reckon,» said he to the Irishman, pointing to the gallows. «And now where would you be ... Читать далее...
40. Little Melissa comes home from first grade and tellsLittle Melissa comes home from first grade and tells her father that they learned about the history of Valentine’s Day. «Since Valentine’s Day is for a Christian saint and we’re Jewish,» she asks, «will God get mad at me for giving someone a valentine?» Melissa’s father thinks a bit, then says «No, I don’t think ... Читать далее...