Last winter I was laid up at home with the flu

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1. «Мои зимние каникулы» (My winter holidays)Every year schoolchildren have their winter holidays. They usually last for 2 weeks: from the New Year’s Day till the 12th of January. I am sure that all of us look forward to this time because it’s a great chance not to get up early and to do what we want. As for me I ... Читать далее...
2. Перевод слова winterWinter — зима, зимний Перевод слова A bla winter day — унылый зимний день winter blizzard — зимняя вьюга dead of winter — глубокая зима I need a new Winter coat. Мне нужно новое зимнее пальто. Winter is almost upon us. Зима уже близко. It was a long, cold Winter. Это была длинная, холодная зима....
3. Значение идиомы kill the goose that laid the golden egg[kill the goose that laid the golden egg] To spoil something thatis good or something that you have, by being greedy. — A proverb. Mrs. Jones gives you an apple from her tree whenever you go by herhouse, but don’t kill the goose that laid the golden egg by botheringher too much....
4. A girl runs home to her mother cryingA girl runs home to her mother crying, «I can’t marry Joe! He’s an atheist! He doesn’t believe in God or Jesus or anything! «Don’t worry, Honey,» said her mom. «But Mom, he doesn’t even believe in Hell! «Don’t worry, Honey,» repeated her mom, «you marry him…and we’ll convince him!»...
5. One day a lady went to the doctors officeOne day a lady went to the doctor’s office and told the doctor that her husband wasn’t interested in her any more he just wouldn’t have sex with her anymore. So the doctor went into the back of the shop and got a bottle of 100 pills. He told her that «if you give your ... Читать далее...
6. A man had a flat tire on a very cold winter dayA man had a flat tire on a very cold winter day. He told his girl friend he’d have it fixed in no time. However as it was very cold his hands kept getting cold. He asked his girl if he could put his hands between her knees to warm them. She said that would ... Читать далее...
7. After the party, as the couple was driving homeAfter the party, as the couple was driving home, the woman asks her husband, «Honey, has anyone ever told you how handsome, sexy and irresistible to women you are?» The flattered husband said, «No, dear they haven’t.» The wife yells, «Then what the heck gave you THAT idea at the party tonight?»...
8. A woman comes homeA woman comes home from the doctor and tells her husband the bad news that she has only 18 hours to live. «That’s terrible!!!» said her husband, «What would you like to do during your last hours? I’ll try to make it as memorable as possible for you.» «Well,» she said, «First, I want to ... Читать далее...
9. Значение идиомы till the cows come home[till the cows come home] {adv. phr.} Until sunset; until the last. The women in the country used to sit in the spinning room makingyarn out of skeins of wool, usually till the cows came home....
10. Man takes the ferry home from workJohn Smith lived in Staten Island, New York and worked in Manhattan. He had to take the ferryboat home every night. One evening, he got down to the ferry and found there was a wait for the next boat, so John decided to stop at a nearby tavern. Before long he was feeling no pain. ... Читать далее...
11. Miles Dobson was away from home on businessMiles Dobson was away from home on business in another city. When he called home, his wife told him, «Miles, they had your name in the obits today.» «What! In the obituary column! That’s not only disgraceful but bad journalism. I’ll sue ’em.» «Tell me, Miles,» his wife asked tremulously, «wh…wh…where are you calling from?»...
12. The little boy comes home from school and asks momThe little boy comes home from school and asks mom, «Where do babies come from?» Not wanting to get into the discussion of sex at such an early time she replies, «From the stork of course!» The little guy thinks for a few seconds and then asks, «But mom, who fucks the stork?»...
13. A well laid out plan«First,» said the playboy, «I’m going to buy you a few drinks and get you a bit loose.» «Oh no you’re not,» said the girl. «Then I’ll take you to dinner and ply you with a few more drinks.» «Oh no you’re not.» «Then I’ll take you to my place and keep serving you drinks.» ... Читать далее...
14. An old man, Mr. Smith, resided in a nursing homeAn old man, Mr. Smith, resided in a nursing home. One day he went into the nurses’ office and informed Nurse Jones that his penis died. Nurse Jones, realizing the Mr. Smith was old and forgetful decided to play along with him. «It did? I’m sorry to hear that,» she replied. Two days later, Mr. ... Читать далее...
15. One day, little Billy comes home from kindergartenOne day, little Billy comes home from kindergarten for lunch. Not finding his mother in the kitchen, or the living room, he heads upstairs to check her bedroom. He opens the door, and what does he see, but his father, who had also come home for lunch, stripped naked, on top of his mother, also ... Читать далее...
16. Значение идиомы lay up[lay up] {v.} 1. To collect a supply of; save for future, use;store. Bees lay up honey for the winter. 2. To keep in the houseor in bed because of sickness or injury; disable. Jack was laid upwith a twisted knee and couldn’t play in the final game. 3. To takeout of active service; put ... Читать далее...
17. Значение идиомы write home about[write home about] {v. phr.} To become especially enthusiastic orexcited about; boast about. — Often used after «to». Mary’s trip tothe World’s Fair was something to write home about. Joe did a goodenough job of painting but it was nothing to write home about. «That was a dinner worth writing home about!» said Bill coming ... Читать далее...
18. Как я провел зимние каникулы/ How I Spent Winter HolidaysНа английском языке Перевод на русский язык How I Spent Winter Holidays Как я провел зимние каникулы All schoolchildren look forward to having long holidays and I’m no exception. My favourite holidays are in summer and winter. Perhaps, winter holidays are even better, because it’s also the time for Christmas and New Year celebrations. Everyone ... Читать далее...
19. Как я проведу зимние каникулы/ How Will I Spend Winter HolidaysНа английском языке Перевод на русский язык How Will I Spend Winter Holidays Как я проведу зимние каникулы Every year we have a week or two to relax during the celebration of New Year holidays. The schools don’t work and many companies also take a break. That’s why I and my parents can do whatever ... Читать далее...
20. A man comes home with his little daughter, whom he hasA man comes home with his little daughter, whom he has just taken to work. The little girl asks, «I saw you in your office with your secretary. Why do you call her a doll?» Feeling his wife’s gaze upon him, the man explains, «Well, honey, my secretary is a very hard-working girl. She types ... Читать далее...
21. A boy comes home from school and tells his motherA boy comes home from school and tells his mother that he got a part in the school play. «What part?» the mother asked. «I play a Jewish husband,» the boy replied. «Go back to school and tell your teacher that you want a speaking role!»...
22. Значение идиомы keep the home fires burning[keep the home fires burning] {v. phr.} To keep things going asusual while someone is away; wait at home to welcome someone back. While John was in the army, Mary kept the home fires burning....
23. The newly married man came home from workThe newly married man came home from work to find his new bride stretched languorously on the sofa, dressed in a negligee. «Guess what I got planned for dinner?» she asked seductively. «And don’t you dare tell me you had it for lunch today.»...
24. Anybody Home?A boss of a big company needed to call one of his employees about an urgent problem with one of the main computers. He dialed the employee’s home phone number and was greeted with a child’s whispered, «Hello?» Feeling put out at the inconvenience of having to talk to the youngster, the boss asked, «Is ... Читать далее...
25. A concerned husband went to a doctor to talk about his wifeA concerned husband went to a doctor to talk about his wife. He says to the doctor, «Doctor, I think my wife is deaf because she never hears me the first time and always asks me to repeat things.» «Well,» the doctor replied, «go home and tonight stand about 15 feet from her and say ... Читать далее...
26. Значение идиомы home[home] See: AT HOME, BRING HOME, BRING HOME THE BACON, CHICKENSCOME HOME TO ROOST, CLOSE TO HOME, CONVALESCENT HOME or NURSING HOMEor REST HOME, KEEP THE HOME FIRES BURNING, MAKE ONESELF AT HOME, NOBODY HOME, WRITE HOME ABOUT....
27. An aging hooker volunteered to give the noviceAn aging hooker volunteered to give the novice a few tips on the art of fellatio. Satisfied that she had perfected the basics, the old pro asked the beginner if she had any questions. «Well yeah. I was wondering how long dicks should be sucked.» «The same as the short ones, honey.»...
28. A young boy on his way home from school must pass by a groupA young boy on his way home from school must pass by a group of hookers. Everyday as he passes them, the hookers wave at him with their pinkies and say «Hi there little boy!!» One day the boy stops and asks one of the hookers why they always wave at him with their pinkies. ... Читать далее...
29. This bloke went into a nightclub and saw a gorgeousThis bloke went into a nightclub and saw a gorgeous honey sitting by herself at the bar, he asked her to dance. She agreed and they took to the dance floor for a slow one. While they were cheek to cheek, the guy said, «You really smell terrific. What’s that you have on?» The flattered ... Читать далее...
30. Winter WeatherI grew up in Minnesota where the summers are hot and Humid and winters are Bitterly cold. Living in Los Angeles now, it’s sometimes hard to describe to people how winter weather can be in Chillier climates. In L. A. most of the year, the weather is Sunny, Clear, and warm. In one of my ... Читать далее...
31. The approach of winterDec. 8 5:00 p. m. — It’s starting to snow, the first of the season, and the wife and I took our buttered rum and sat by the window watching the soft flakes drift down, clinging to the trees and covering the ground. It was so beautiful. Dec. 9 — We awoke to a big ... Читать далее...
32. On a very cold winter nightOn a very cold winter night, three homeless men huddled up close to keep warm. In the morning, the guy on the right says, «I had a dream that someone was pulling on my dick.» The guy on the left says, «I also had a dream that someone was pulling on my dick.» «The guy ... Читать далее...
33. Перевод слова honeyHoney — мед, сладость, медовый, сладкий Перевод слова To remove honey from a hive — отбирать мед из улья he was all honey — он был приторно любезен honey cake — медовая коврижка honey sweet — сладкий как мед She likes Honey in her tea. Она любит чай с медом. She specializes in Honey bees. ... Читать далее...
34. What are the five reasons for not wanting to be an egg?What are the five reasons for not wanting to be an egg? 1) You only get laid once. 2) You only get eaten once. 3) It takes you seven min. to get hard in boiling water. 4) You have to come in a box with 11 other guys. 5) The only one that ever sits ... Читать далее...
35. Значение идиомы lay by[lay by] {v.} To save, especially a little at a time. Thestudents laid a little money by every week till they had enough for atrip to Florida. The farmer laid by some of his best corn to usethe next year for seed....
36. The Home Improvement StoreWhen you own a house, there is always something that Needs work. I have been Putting off repainting the Garage and I decided that I would do it this weekend. I went to the Home improvement store early in the morning to get the Supplies I’d need. I walked into the Huge store and began ... Читать далее...
37. The Home Improvement StoreWhen you own a house, there is always something that Needs work. I have been Putting off repainting the Garage and I decided that I would do it this weekend. I went to the Home improvement store early in the morning to get the Supplies I’d need. I walked into the Huge store and began ... Читать далее...
38. A young teenager comes home from schoolA young teenager comes home from school and asks her mother, «Is it true what Rita just told me? That babies come out of the same place where boys put their thingies?» «Yes, dear,» replies her mother, pleased that the subject had finally come up and she wouldn’t have to explain it. «But then when ... Читать далее...
39. Перевод слова waitWait — ждать, дожидаться, откладывать Перевод слова To wait orders — ждать распоряжений wait until he comes — дождитесь его прихода that work will have to wait — эту работу придется отложить Hey, Wait a minute! Эй, подождите минутку! Wait for the rain to pass. Подожди, пока пройдет дождь. I’ll Wait in the car. Я ... Читать далее...
40. Being a Stay-at-Home DadGladys: Hi, Dan. I’m surprised to see you here at the supermarket in the middle of the day. Dan: Why? Gladys: I thought you’d be working. Dan: I am working. I’m a Stay-at-home dad and I take care of the kids while my wife goes to work. Gladys: Oh, did you get Laid off from ... Читать далее...