What are the five reasons for not wanting to be an egg?

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1. The medical student was asked four reasons The medical student was asked four reasons why mother’s milk was better for babies than cow’s milk. This is the answer he submitted: 1. It’s fresher. 2. It’s cleaner. 3. The cats can’t get to it. 4. It’s easier to take on a picnic. He also added: “It comes in such cute containers.”...
2. A guy walks into a pet store wanting a parrot A guy walks into a pet store wanting a parrot. The store clerk shows him two beautiful ones out on the floor. “This one’s $5,000 and the other is $10,000.” the clerk said. “Wow! What does the $5,000 one do?” “This parrot can sing every aria Mozart ever wrote.” “And the other?” said the customer. […]...
3. Значение идиомы boiling point [boiling point] {n.} 1. The temperature at which a liquid boils. The boiling point of water is 272 Fahrenheit. 2. The time when you become very angry. He has a low boiling point. After being teased for a long time, John reached the boiling point. When John made the same mistake for the fourth time, […]...
4. Are computers males or females? TOP 5 REASONS WHY COMPUTERS MUST BE MALE Are computers males or females? You decide. TOP 5 REASONS WHY COMPUTERS MUST BE MALE: 5. They’re heavily dependent on external tools and equipment. 4. They periodically cut you off right when you think you’ve established a network connection. 3. They’ll usually do what you ask them to do, but they won’t do more than […]...
5. A man calls his mother in Florida A man calls his mother in Florida. “Mom, how are you?” “Not too good,”says the mother. “I’ve been very weak.” The son says, “Why are you so weak?” She says, “Because I haven’t eaten in 38 days.” The man says, “That’s terrible. Why haven’t you eaten in 38 days? The mother answers, “Because I didn’t […]...
6. Reasons to allow drinking at work The below are valid reasons as to why drinking should be allowed at work. If you use them wisely, you may even be able to convince your boss into allowing alcohol. 1. It’s an incentive to show up. 2. It reduces stress. 3. It leads to more honest communications. 4. It reduces complaints about low […]...
7. A young black boy goes into the kitchen where his mother is baking A young black boy goes into the kitchen where his mother is baking. He puts his hands in the flour and coats his face with it. He looks at his mother and says “Look Momma, I’m a white boy.” His mother slaps him hard On the face and says “Boy, go show your Daddy.” The […]...
8. Five Reasons Why You Should Probably Stop Using Antibacterial Soap As the FDA recently noted, antibacterial products are no more effective than soap and water, and could be dangerous The FDA announced a bold new position on antibacterial soap: Manufacturers have to show that it’s both safe and more effective than simply washing with conventional soap and water, or they have to take it off […]...
9. Last winter I was laid up at home with the flu Last winter I was laid up at home with the flu. My fiancee’ called and volunteered to come over and fix dinner and play nursemaid to me. I declined, not wanting to pass on the flu to her. “Okay honey”, she told me, “Will wait till after we get married. Then we can spend the […]...
10. The CIA was recruiting for a top secret assignment The CIA was recruiting for a top secret assignment. They were down to three recruits, two men and one woman. Only one could get the position. As a final test each recruit was led down a hallway to a large gray door. The CIA agents say to the first man, “We need to know that […]...
11. Little Johnny comes home from school Little Johnny comes home from school with a note from his teacher, indicating that “Johnny seems to be having some difficulty with the difference between boys and girls,” and would his mother,”please sit down and have a talk with Johnny about this.” So johnny’s mother takes him quietly, by the hand, upstairs to her bedroom, […]...
12. Значение идиомы face [face] See: BLUE IN THE FACE, CUT OFF ONE’S NOSE TO SPITE ONE’SFACE, FLY IN THE FACE OF, HATCHET FACE, HIDE ONE’S FACE, IN ONE’SFACE, IN THE FACE OF, LONG FACE, LOOK IN THE EYE or LOOK IN THE FACE, MAKE A FACE, ON THE FACE OF IT, SAVE FACE, SET ONE’S FACE AGAINST, SHOOT […]...
13. A young Jewish man excitedly tells his mother A young Jewish man excitedly tells his mother he’s fallen in love and that he is going to get married. He says, “Just for fun, Ma, I’m going to bring over 3 women and you try and guess which one I’m going to marry.” The mother agrees. The next day, he brings three beautiful women […]...
14. Pecuniary reasons A few moments after the daughter announced her engagement, her Father asked, “Does this fellow have any money?” The daughter shook her head sadly. “Oh Daddy! You men are all alike.” sighing deeply, she replied, “That’s exactly what he asked me about you.”...
15. Reasons for the Mir Accident After intensive investigation on both the Soviet and US parts, spokespersons from both space agencies have determined the cause for the accident which has placed the station and its resident personnel in jeopardy. In terse statements at a recent press conference, Soviet and US space agency spokespersons said Thursday We have concluded joint investigations concerning […]...
16. Ru-Ru Two guys get stuck on a desert island. They are soon caught by the natives and brought to a village and put before the cheif. He says to the first guy,”As punishment for tresspassing I give you a choice, death or Ru Ru”.Not wanting to die he picks Ru Ru. He is then beaten and […]...
17. A hot meal Two starving homeless men are walking down an empty street in a quiet town. they spy a dead horse on the side of the road and run towards it. the first man begins to eat the horse, but the second man refuses, saying only that he will wait. after the first man has eaten his […]...
18. Reasons to stay at work all night 1. Act out your version of a company takeover. 2. Find a way to change everyone’s password to “chrysanthemum”. 3. Around 3:20am, play connect-the-dots with lights still on in other office buildings. Keep going until you see a small woodland creature. 4. Sneaking in the boss’s desk could land you an unexpected promotion. 5. Draw […]...
19. A fair price A college student picked up his date at her parents home. He’d scraped together every cent he had to take her to a fancy restaurant. To his dismay, she ordered almost everything expensive on the menu. Appetizers, lobster, champagne. . .the works. Finally he asked her, “Does your Mother feed you like this at home?” […]...
20. A definition of God A little boy was learning about God in his church, and he was talking to his mother about it. She, not wanting to place prejudice in the little boy’s mind, sat him and said: “God is not a man or a woman, and God is not black or white.” To which the child responded, “Well, […]...
21. Wanting Peace and Quiet After three days of travel and meetings, I returned to my hotel room ready for some Downtime. All I wanted was some Peace and quiet so I could get a Good night’s sleep. … [phone rings] Carl: Hello. Hotel staff: Hello, Mr. Mendez. I’m calling to welcome you to our hotel. I hope you’re finding […]...
22. Значение идиомы boil over [boil over] {v. phr.} 1. To rise due to boiling and overflow down the sides of a pan or a pot. “Watch out!” Jane cried. “The milk is boiling over on the stove!” 2. To become enraged to the point of being unable to contain oneself. John took a lot of abuse from his boss, […]...
23. Collection 12 What’s the latest dope – besides you? I heard that they tried to take an X-ray picture of your jaw, but all they got was a moving picture. You don’t believe in being artificial. You want people to hate you for yourself. When people cut their fingers you cry over it just so that you […]...
24. I just ate those peanuts A man visits his aunt in the nursing home. It turns out that she is taking a nap, so he just sits down in a chair in her room, flips through a few magazines, and munches on some peanuts sitting in a bowl on the table. Eventually, the aunt wakes up, and her nephew realizes […]...
25. Значение идиомы lay low [lay low] {v.} 1. To knock down; to force into a lying position; toput out of action. Many trees were laid low by the storm. Janewas laid low by the flu. 2. To kill. The hunters laid low sevenpheasants. 3. See: LIE LOW....
26. Things That Sound Dirty At The Office But Are Not Things That Sound Dirty At The Office But Aren’t I need you to whip it out by 5:00! Mind if I use your laptop? Put this in my box before you leave. I want it on my desk now! Hmm.. I think I’m out of fluid. My equipment’s so old, it takes forever to finish! […]...
27. One day, little Billy comes home from kindergarten One day, little Billy comes home from kindergarten for lunch. Not finding his mother in the kitchen, or the living room, he heads upstairs to check her bedroom. He opens the door, and what does he see, but his father, who had also come home for lunch, stripped naked, on top of his mother, also […]...
28. Problems Getting Along With Family Oscar: So you’re back from your mother’s birthday dinner. How was it? Priscilla: Same old, same old. It isn’t a family gathering without a major Meltdown or Blowup. Oscar: Yikes, what happened? Priscilla: You know how it is. It starts out with Bickering and somebody Taking offense at some Slight or Dig, or bringing up […]...
29. Water pollution Water pollution is one of the famous and one of the largest problems in our world. People in Africa cannot drink clean water; their children die because a big part of our water has been polluted. Children in Kenya often have to go many kilometers to collect drinking water. At all over 2 million people […]...
30. Значение идиомы straight face [straight face] {n.} A face that is not laughing or smiling. Mary told all the funny stories she knew to try to make Joan laugh, but Joan kept a straight face. It is hard to tell when Jim isteasing you. He can tell a fib with a straight face. When Bob fellinto the water, he […]...
31. England Jokes Q: What’s the difference between England and a tea bag? A: The tea bag stays in the cup longer. – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – […]...
32. Перевод слова boil Boil – кипятить, кипеть Перевод слова To bring to the boil – доводить до кипения on the boil – в возбужденном состоянии to boil oil – варить масло He was Boiling with rage. Он кипел от гнева. The water is about to Boil. Вода вот-вот закипит. Bring water to a Boil. Доведите воду до кипения. […]...
33. Term dictionary Parent’s Dictionary of Meanings DUMBWAITER: one who asks if the kids would care to order dessert. FEEDBACK: the inevitable result when the baby doesn’t appreciate the strained carrots. FULL NAME: what you call your child when you’re mad at him. GRANDPARENTS: the people who think your children are wonderful even though they’re sure you’re not […]...
34. Значение идиомы in one’s face [in one’s face] {adv. phr.} 1. Against your face. The trickcigar blew up in the clown’s face. A cold wind was in our faces aswe walked to school. 2. In front of you. The maid slammed the doorin the salesman’s face. I told the boys that they were wrong, butthey laughed in my face. Compare: […]...
35. Значение идиомы water [water] See: BLOOD IS THICKER THAN WATER, COME HELL OR HIGH WATER, DEEP WATER, FISH OUT OF WATER, GO THROUGH HELL AND HIGH WATER, HEADABOVE WATER, HOLD WATER, HELL AND HIGH WATER, HOT WATER, LIKE WATER, LIKE WATER OFF A DUCK’S BACK, MAKE ONE’S MOUTH WATER, OF THE FIRSTWATER, POUR OIL ON TROUBLED WATERS, THROW […]...
36. And yet another college dorm joke I have lived in several different houses with a bunch of guys. Needless to say things got pretty rowdy sometimes and many were victims of some pretty funny jokes. One of the favorites as I recall (and still is) is to go into the bathroom while the victim is taking a shower, and pour a […]...
37. Значение идиомы soak up [soak up] {v.} 1. To take up water or other liquid as a spongedoes. The rag soaked up the water that I spilled. 2. To use asponge or something like a sponge to take up liquid. John soaked upthe water with the rag. 3. {informal} To take up into yourself in theway a sponge takes […]...
38. Значение идиомы hot water [hot water] {n.} {informal} Trouble. – Used with “in”, “into”,”out”, “of”. John’s thoughtless remark about religion got John intoa lot of hot water. It was the kind of trouble where it takes afriend to get you out of hot water....
39. Значение идиомы lay to rest [lay to rest] {v. phr.}, {informal} 1. To put a dead person into agrave or tomb; bury. President Kennedy was laid to rest inArlington National Cemetery. 2. To get rid of; put away permanently;stop. The Scoutmaster’s fears that Tom had drowned were laid torest when Tom came back and said he had gone for a […]...
40. The only wish Two guys of limited intelligence were on a ship that sank in the middle of the ocean. They managed to inflate a rubber life raft and grab a box of provisions before their ship slipped below the surface. After floating under blazing heat for 6 days they ran out of food and water. On the […]...