Last Lunch
Three steel workers were having lunch at the construction site, a 20 story building. The first worker is Italian and when he looks in his lunch box, he exclaims, “Oh, no, if I have to eat spaghetti for lunch one more time, I going to jump off the 20th floor and kill myself.” The second worker is Hispanic. When he looks in his lunch box, he exclaims, ” Oh, no, if I have to eat tacos for lunch one more time, I going to jump off the 20th floor and kill myself.” The third worker is polish. When he looks in his lunch box, he exclaims, “Oh, no, if I have to eat polish sausage one more time for lunch, I’m going to jump off the 20th floor and kill myself.” The next day the Italian looks in his lunch box, sees a bowl of spaghetti. He walks to the edge and jumps to his death. Then the Hispanic worker looks in his lunch box, sees 2 tacos. He walks to the edge and jumps to his death. Finally the polish worker looks in his lunch box, sees a polish sausage sandwich. He walks to the edge and jumps to his death. At the funeral for the three workers the Italian workers wife is sobbing out of control and cries,” Oh, its all my fault. If only I had packed him a different lunch!” The Hispanics wife is also sobbing out of control and cries,” Oh, its all my fault. If only I had packed my husband a different lunch!” The polish workers wife isn’t crying at all so the other two wives confront her. “Don’t look at me,” she exclaims, “He packs his own lunch!”
(1 оценок, среднее: 5.00 из 5)Related topics:
- An Irishman, a Mexican and a Blonde Guy were doing An Irishman, a Mexican and a Blonde Guy were doing construction work on scaffolding on the 20th floor of a building. They were eating lunch and the Irishman said, “Corned beef and cabbage! If I get corned beef and cabbage one more time for lunch, I’m going to jump off this building.” The Mexican opened […]...
- Biologist experiment There was this biologist who was doing some experiments with frogs. He was measuring just how far frogs could jump. So he puts a frog on a line and says “Jump frog, jump!”. The frog jumps 2 feet. He writes in his lab book: ‘Frog with 4 legs – jumps 2 feet’. Next he chops […]...
- Three guys go into a bar, one in a wheelchair, one Three guys go into a bar, one in a wheelchair, one is blind and the other appears normal. A couple of minutes later, God walks in to get a beer. He sees the guys and decides to have compassion on them. He touches the blind guy on the forehead, and his sight is restored. He […]...
- Mary came back from lunch to find that all the girls Mary came back from lunch to find that all the girls in the office had removed their clothes and were lying on the floor naked. She lost no time in taking off her dress and joining them, but as soon as she laid down the girl on her right hissed, “Turn over, Mary – this […]...
- I am afraid of that tarmac A motorway walks into a pub one day. He goes up to the bar and orders himself a drink. He just sits down when in walks a strip of tarmac. The motorway sees the tarmac and starts to panic so he jumps over the bar and ducks down so it won’t see him. The barman […]...
- Перевод слова lunch Lunch – обед, ланч, второй завтрак Перевод слова Half lunch – легкий завтрак alfresco lunch – завтрак на свежем воздухе box lunch – обед фабричного изготовления в упаковке They joined us for Lunch. Они присоединились к нам за обедом. They broke for Lunch. У них перерыв на обед. He blew $50 on Lunch. Он выкинул […]...
- I got a great Polish joke A guy walks into a bar, orders a beer and says to the bartender, “Hey, I got this great Polish Joke…” The barkeep glares at him and says in a warning tone of voice: “Before you go telling that joke you better know that I’m Polish, both bouncers are Polish and so are most of […]...
- Two law partners leave their office and go to lunch Two law partners leave their office and go to lunch. In the middle of lunch the junior partner slaps his forehead. “Damn,” he says. “I forgot to lock the office safe before we left.” His partner replies ” What are you worried about? We’re both here.”...
- Bill Clinton and Al Gore go into a local diner for lunch Bill Clinton and Al Gore go into a local diner for lunch. As they read the menu the waitress comes over and askes Clinton, “Are you ready to order?” Clinton replies, “Yes, I’d like a quickie.” “A quickie?!?” the waitress replies. “Sir, given the current situation of your personal life I don’t think that is […]...
- Значение идиомы out to lunch [out to lunch] {adj.}, {slang}, {informal} 1. Gone for the middaymeal. 2. Inattentive; daydreaming; inefficient; stupid. Neil Benderis just out to lunch today....
- Eating a School Lunch Chris: What are you doing? Let’s get into the hot Lunch line. Sybil: See this Lunchbox? My mom made me Brown-bag it today. She says that the lunches served at school aren’t Nutritious enough. Chris: That Sucks. What did she make you? Sybil: A salad. Chris: Oh, Gross. I really feel sorry for you. What […]...
- Перевод слова worker Worker – работник, трудящийся, сотрудник Перевод слова Factory and office workers – рабочие и служащие brain worker – работник умственного труда fellow worker – сотрудник, сослуживец She is a very responsible Worker. Она – очень ответственный работник. The Worker bee is neuter. Рабочая пчела бесплодна. The Worker was dismissed for laziness. Рабочего уволили за лень. […]...
- Passing an exam Three patients in a mental institution prepare for an examination given by the head psychiatrist. If the patients pass the exam, they will be free to leave the hospital. However, if they fail, the institution will detain them for five years. The doctor takes the three patients to the top of a diving board looking […]...
- A cop sees a car weaving all over the road and pulls it over A cop sees a car weaving all over the road and pulls it over. He walks up to the car and sees a nice-looking woman is driving and smells liquor on her breath. He says, “I’m going to have to give you the breathalyzer test to determine if you are under the influence of alcohol.” […]...
- Little Red Riding Hood is skipping down the road Little Red Riding Hood is skipping down the road when she sees the Big Bad Wolf crouched down behind a log. “My what big eyes you have, Mr Wolf”, says Little Red Riding Hood. The wolf jumps up and runs away. Further down the road Little Red Riding Hood sees the wolf again. This time […]...
- Bad Manners at a Business Lunch Yolanda: I will never invite George to another business lunch with Clients again! Sunan: Why, what happened? Yolanda: George has the worst Manners of anyone I know. First of all, he was ten minutes late. And as soon as he sat down, his cell phone rang and he answered it! Sunan: Maybe it was an […]...
- A young man joined the Army and signed up with the paratroopers A young man joined the Army and signed up with the paratroopers. He went though the standard training, completed the practice jumps from higher and higher structures, and finally went to take his first jump from an airplane. The next day, he called home to his father to tell him the news. “So, did you […]...
- The story with the moral In the dead of summer a fly was resting on a leaf beside a lake. He was a hot, dry fly who said to no one in particular, “Gosh! If I go down three inches I will feel the mist from the water and I will be refreshed.” There was a fish in the water […]...
- Перевод слова polish Polish – блеск, полировать, шлифовать Перевод слова To polish one’s nails – полировать ногти metal takes polish – металл приобретает блеск stone takes a polish – камень полируется to polish out scratches – затирать царапины I need more shoe Polish. Мне нужно больше лака для обуви. Polish up the silver ready for the important dinner. […]...
- The hunting season This truck driver hauling a tractor-trailer load of computers stops for a beer. As he approaches the bar he sees a big sign on the door saying “NERDS NOT ALLOWED – ENTER AT OWN RISK!” He goes in and sits down. The bartender comes over to him, sniffs, says he smells kind of nerdy, asks […]...
- A little turtle begins to climb a tree slowly A little turtle begins to climb a tree slowly. After long hours of effort, he reaches the top, jumps into the air waving his front legs, until reaches heavily into the ground with a hard knock over his shell. After recovering his consciousness, he starts to climb the tree again, jumps again, and knocks the […]...
- Значение идиомы on edge [on edge] {adj. phr.} Excited or nervous; impatient. Themagician kept the children on edge all through his show. We wereall on edge as we listened to the TV for news of the electionresults. Father was on edge after driving home through the heavyholiday traffic. See: SET ONE’S TEETH ON EDGE. Contrast: AT EASE....
- Two executives working in the garment center are having lunch together Two executives working in the garment center are having lunch together. Goldstein says to his friend, “Last week was one of the worst weeks of my entire life.” “What happened?” asks Birnbaum. Goldstein moans, “My wife and I went to Florida on vacation. It rained for seven days and seven nights, so my wife went […]...
- Jump out of the plane An Englishman, Frenchman, Mexican, and Texan were flying across country on a small plane when the pilot comes on the loud speaker and says ” We’re having mechanical problems and the only way we can make it to the next airport is for 3 of you to open the door and jump, at least one […]...
- Значение идиомы jump ball [jump ball] {n.} The starting of play in basketball by tossing theball into the air between two opposing players, each of whom jumps andtries to hit the ball to a member of his own team. Two players heldonto the ball at the same time and the referee called a jump ball....
- Перевод слова edge Edge – край, граница; острота, режущая кромка Перевод слова The knife has no edge – нож затупился the edge of sarcasm – острие сарказма from edge to edge – от края до края He fell over the cliff’s Edge. Он упал с края обрыва. Don’t go near the Edge – it isn’t safe. Не подходи […]...
- Значение идиомы the edge [the edge] {n.}, {informal} The advantage. – Usually used in thephrases “get the edge on”, “have the edge on”. In the last quarterof the game, our team got the edge on the other team and kept it. Mary has the edge on Jane in the beauty contest....
- A marine general, an army general and a navy admiral A marine general, an army general and a navy admiral were discussing who had the toughest men. The army general says, “Alright, I’ll prove the army has the toughest men in the country. Private, get over here!” The private reports as ordered, “Yes sir?” The general says, “See that man over there? Kill him!” Without […]...
- Appropriate punishment Through the kitchen window a farmer’s wife sees her son coming home from school. The boy’s in a bad mood, and as he crosses the field he kicks a pig. He walks a little further and kicks a cow. Once inside, his mother says, “I saw what you did, young man! For kicking the pig […]...
- Перевод слова jump Jump – прыгать; скачок, резкое повышение Перевод слова To jump for joy – прыгать от радости to jump into a taxi – вскочить в такси to give a jump – резко подняться, подскочить jump in prices – резкое повышение цен How high can you Jump? Как высоко ты можешь прыгнуть? Don’t Jump the camera. Не […]...
- Значение идиомы take the edge off [take the edge off] also [take off the edge] {v. phr.} To lessen, weaken, soften or make dull. Eating a candy bar before dinner hastaken the edge off Becky’s appetite. Bob was sorry for hurting Tomand that took the edge off Tom’s anger. A headache took the edgeoff Dick’s pleasure in the movie....
- A good student It was the first day of school and a new student named Martinez, the son of a Mexican restaurateur, entered the fourth grade. The teacher said, “Let’s begin by reviewing some American history. Who said “Give me Liberty, or give me Death?” She saw a sea of blank faces, except for Martinez, who had his […]...
- Poor batman! A nun is walking down the street, when suddenly a punk jumps out of the bushes and hits her over the head, proceeds to kick her in the groin and break her nose with a massive left hook. As the nun is lying bleeding on the floor, the guy looks down and says: You’re getting […]...
- Диалог на английском языке с переводом “Обед (Lunch)” По-английски Перевод на русский Ray: Hi, Fiona. Would you like to join me for lunch? Рэй: Привет, Фиона. Ты бы не хотела присоединиться ко мне во время обеда? Fiona: Hi there. I’d love to. Where do you usually have lunch? Фиона: Привет. С удовольствием. Где ты обычно обедаешь? Ray: I prefer eating at that small […]...
- A man comes home and hears hard breathing female noises A man comes home and hears hard breathing female noises from inside the aprtment, walks inside to find his wife on the floor of the living room naked. Wife yells, “help, help, I am having a heart attack”, the husband runs in the other room to call the doctor when one of his kids run […]...
- Annoying some waiters 10. Eight hour lunch, two dollar tip. 9. Ask, “Excuse me, are you a really bad singer, or a really bad actor?” 8. After he describes each special, you shout, “Garbage!” 7. Whenever he walks by, cough and mutter, “Minimum wage”. 6. Every few seconds, yell, “More waffles, Cuomo!” 5. Insist that before ordering, you […]...
- Another ethnic joke A man of Polish ancestry walked up to the counter and asked for a Polish Meatball Sandwich. The man at the counter said, “What a Pollack.” The Polish man said, “I resent that. If a Jew came to your counter and asked for a kosher salami on rye, would you call him a stupid Jew.” […]...
- A tourist wanders into a back-alley antique shop A tourist wanders into a back-alley antique shop in San Francisco’s Chinatown. Picking through the objects on display he discovers a detailed bronze sculpture of a rat. The sculpture is so interesting and unique that he picks it up and asks the shop owner the price. “Twelve dollars for the rat, sir,” says the shop […]...
- Counting cars A blond sees a brunette standing in the middle of the highway. The brunette keeps saying, “88, 88, 88…” The blond calls to her as the cars and trucks wizz past. “What are you doing?” “I’m counting cars,”comes the rely. “Want to help?” “Sure!” says the blond. She walks out to the middle of the […]...
- Значение идиомы get the jump on [get the jump on] or [have the jump on] {v. phr.}, {slang} To getahead of; start before ; have an advantage over. Don’t letthe other boys get the jump on you at the beginning of the race. Our team got the jump on their rivals in the first minutes of play, and held the lead […]...