Democrats Republicans
1. Democrats buy most of the books that have been banned somewhere. Republicans form censorship committees and read them as a group. 2. Republicans consume three-fourths of all the rutabaga produced in this country.
Five fingers
A beautiful young woman marries this seventy year old bloke for his money. On their wedding night she joyfully jumps into bed and he holds up five fingers. “Oh darling!” she squeals with delight,
Some relatives
A couple drove down a country road for several miles, not saying a word. An earlier discussion had led to an argument and neither of them wanted to concede their position. As they passed
Three little old ladies, sitting on a park bench
Three little old ladies, sitting on a park bench. The town flasher comes by and shows them his ALL! The first little old lady had a huge stroke. The second little old lady had
New rules for bowling
Supplemental Rules for Bowling If you holler “overs!” before the ball passes the arrows, you get to throw the ball over, unless of course, you get a strike. In which case, you can renege
A couple on their honeymoon woke up after their big night
A couple on their honeymoon woke up after their big night. The bride rolled over and said, “That was nice but tell me, what did my pussy look like before you rooted it?” The
12 Days of Windows 95
On the 1st day of Christmas, my true love gave to me. . . Windows 95 for my PC On the 2nd day of Christmas, my true love gave to me. . . 2
Mrs. Ogden went to her doctor and said
Mrs. Ogden went to her doctor and said “Please give me a prescription for the Pill.” “I don’t think you need the Pill at your age.” “It relaxes me.” “But you know the ‘purpose’
Redneck wins lottery
A Redneck buys a ticket and wins the lottery. He goes to Austin to claim it where the man verifies his ticket number. The Redneck says “I want my $20 million.” To which the
Tommy goes into a confessional box and says
Tommy goes into a confessional box and says, “Bless me father for I have sinned. I have been with a loose woman.” The Priest says, “Is that you, Tommy? Tommy says “Yes father, it’s