Excuses for refusing dates
Age EXCUSES FOR REFUSING DATES 17 Need to wash my hair 25 Need to wash and condition my hair 35 Need to color my hair 48 Need to have Francois color my hair 66
How To Give Your Cat a Pill
1. Grasp cat firmly in your arms. Cradle its head on your elbows, just as if you were giving a baby a bottle. Coo confidently, “That’s a nice kitty.” Drop pill into its mouth.
Dedicated geologists
Total immersion geologists Total immersion geologists: Are you totally obsessed with geology? If so, then you are a total immersion geologist. Here are the ten warning signs: 1. You judge a restaurant by the
The Perfect Worker
1 Bob Smith, my assistant programmer, can always be found 2 hard at work in his cubicle. Bob works independently, without 3 wasting company time talking to colleagues. Bob never 4 thinks twice about
Thirty minutes before a plane landed, its cabin lights came on
Thirty minutes before a plane landed, its cabin lights came on, indicating to the flight attendants that breakfast could be served. One of the passengers, upset because he was awakened, growled, “Who turned on
The general went to the doctor for a physical
The general went to the doctor for a physical. Before he began, the doctor asked him the standard questions – age, height, weight, and then he asked when was the last time the general
A company in the Foreign Legion had spent three years
A company in the Foreign Legion had spent three years in the Sahara desert never having seen a woman. They finally decide to send one private on vacation to the nearest town to spend
The wife coyly tried to explain her purchase of a new
The wife coyly tried to explain her purchase of a new pair of expensive imported panties. “After all, dear,” she said to her husband, “you wouldn’t expect to find fine perfume in a cheap
Mr. Schwatrz goes to meet his new son-in-law to be
Mr. Schwatrz goes to meet his new son-in-law to be, Sol. He says to Sol (who is very religious), “So nu, tell me Sol, my boy, what do you do? “I study the Torah,”
There are three friends, a blonde, a brunette, and a redhead
There are three friends, a blonde, a brunette, and a redhead. They were on a cruise ship and it was heading home. When they got about 20 miles of shore the boat began to