I was walking down an alley last night

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1. Two nuns are walking down an alleyTwo nuns are walking down an alley when two guys jump out of the dark. They start raping the nuns and the first nun says, “Forgive them, Father, for they know not what they do!” The second one says, “This one does!”...
2. Перевод идиомы up someone’s alley / down someone’s alley, значение выражения и пример использованияИдиома: up someone’s alley / down someone’s alley Идиома: up someone’s alley / down someone’s alley разг. Перевод: быть в кругу чьих-либо способностей, интересов Пример: He is very good at solving difficult math problems; this job is right up his alley. Он очень хорошо решает трудные математические задачи, эта работа как раз по его линии....
3. Значение идиомы blind alley[blind alley] {n.} 1. A narrow street that has only one entrance and no exit. The blind alley ended in a brick wall. 2. A way of acting that leads to no good results. John did not take the job because it was a blind alley. Tom thought of a way to do the algebra […]...
4. Значение идиомы down one’s alley[down one’s alley] or [up one’s alley] {adj. phr.}, {slang} Suited to your tastes and abilities; what you like or like to do. Baseball is right down Jim’s alley. Compare: CUP OF TEA....
5. Значение идиомы alley cat[alley cat] {n.}, {slang} 1. A stray cat. 2. A person of rather easy-going, or actually loose sexual morals; a promiscuous person. You’ll have no problem dating her; she’s a regular alley cat....
6. A little girl was walking along a beach in CaliforniaA little girl was walking along a beach in California when she came across a man with no clothes on and just a newspaper covering his genitals. The little girl said, “What do you have under that newspaper, Mister?” The man said, “Nothing, it’s just a bird, now go away!” The man thought nothing of […]...
7. Перевод слова handbagHandbag – дамская сумочка Перевод слова Beaded handbag – бисерная сумочка ladies’ handbag – дамская сумка pouchette handbag – сумочка на завязках I’ve got far too much clobber in my Handbag. У меня в сумке слишком много всякого хлама. She roundhouseed Smith with a Handbag. Она ударила Смита наотмашь сумочкой. She propped the mirror against […]...
8. Значение идиомы walking papers[walking papers] or [walking orders] also [walking ticket] {n.},{informal} A statement that you are fired from your job; dismissal. The boss was not satisfied with Paul’s work and gave him his walkingpapers. George is out of work. He picked up his walking ticketlast Friday....
9. Значение идиомы walking encyclopedia[walking encyclopedia] {n. phr.} A polymath; a person very wellversed in a number of different disciplines. My uncle is averitable walking encyclopedia when it comes to the history of WorldWar II. Contrast: WALKING DICTIONARY....
10. An eight year old boy is walking down the road one dayAn eight year old boy is walking down the road one day when a car pulls over next to him. “If you get in the car,” the driver says, “I’ll give you $10 and a piece of candy.” The boy refuses and keeps on walking. A few moments later, not to take no for an […]...
11. Reasons to stay at work all night1. Act out your version of a company takeover. 2. Find a way to change everyone’s password to “chrysanthemum”. 3. Around 3:20am, play connect-the-dots with lights still on in other office buildings. Keep going until you see a small woodland creature. 4. Sneaking in the boss’s desk could land you an unexpected promotion. 5. Draw […]...
12. A Jewish boy was walking with his girlfriendA Jewish boy was walking with his girlfriend on the grounds of his father’s house. His father was a successful doctor, and was carrying out a circumcision in the on-site surgery. As they were walking, they heard a scream and a foreskin flew out of the window and landed at the girl’s feet. “What’s this,” […]...
13. Перевод сленгового выражения walking on eggshells, значение и пример использованияСленговое выражение: walking on eggshells Перевод: быть в затруднительном положении; быть на краю опасности или гибели Синоним: walking on thin ice Пример: Ever since I smashed their car, I’ve been walking on eggshells with my parents. С тех пор, как я разбил машину своих родителей, отношения у меня с ними затруднительные. We’re walking on eggshells […]...
14. This guy was walking down the sidewalk when he sees a Little JohnnyThis guy was walking down the sidewalk when he sees a Little Johnny wearing a red firefighter’s hat and sitting in a red wagon which is being pulled slowly by a large Labador Retriever. When he got a little closer, he saw that the kid was holding a rope which is tied to the dog’s […]...
15. Two men were walking along the street whenTwo men were walking along the street when they came upon a dog licking his dick. One man said, “I sure wish I could do that.” The other replied, “You can, but you’re probably going to have to pet him first.”...
16. A tourist wanders into a back-alley antique shopA tourist wanders into a back-alley antique shop in San Francisco’s Chinatown. Picking through the objects on display he discovers a detailed bronze sculpture of a rat. The sculpture is so interesting and unique that he picks it up and asks the shop owner the price. “Twelve dollars for the rat, sir,” says the shop […]...
17. A nun is walking down a deserted road whenA nun is walking down a deserted road when a man grabs her and starts raping her. After the rapist is done, he says, “Hey Sister, what are you going to tell the other Sisters now?” “I’ll tell them the truth, that you grabbed me, threw me to the ground, and raped me twice….unless you’re […]...
18. This guy was walking down a street in Texas and this hookerThis guy was walking down a street in Texas and this hooker says, “Say, wanna have a good time? We do things in a big way down here in Texas.” “Sure,” he says and they were off to the nearest motel. She takes off her clothes and he keeps staring at her. She says, “Is […]...
19. Pappy sees Elmer walking with a lantern and asksPappy sees Elmer walking with a lantern and asks, “Where ya going boy?” The son smiled and replied, “I’m a-going courting Peggy-Sue.” The Father said, “When I went a-courtin’, I didn’t need me no dang lantern.” “Sure Pa, I know.” the boy said. “And look what you got!”...
20. A priest and a lawyer are walking downA priest and a lawyer are walking down the street and see a small boy eating an ice cream. The priest says, “How’d you like to fuck that?” To which the lawyer replied, “Out of what?”...
21. Two blondes were walking down the streetTwo blondes were walking down the street. One noticed a compact on the sidewalk and leaned down to pick it up. She opened it, looked in the mirror, and said, “Hmmm, this person looks familiar.” “Let me look.” said the other one. So she handed her the compact. The second blonde looked in the mirror […]...
22. Once upon a time a man was walking downOnce upon a time a man was walking down the street. He saw an ancient oil lamp in an ash can and, thinking of the Aladdin legend, he picked up and rubbed it. Sure enough, out popped a genie. “Master, I shall now grant you one wish.” The man spoke, his eyes bulging with desire. […]...
23. Two blondes were walking through the woodsTwo blondes were walking through the woods and they came to some tracks. The first blonde said “These look like deer tracks.” The other said, “No, they look like moose tracks.” They argued and argued and were still arguing when the train hit them....
24. Little Red Riding Hood was walking through the woodsLittle Red Riding Hood was walking through the woods on her way to visit her grandmother, when suddenly The Big Bad Wolf jumped out from behind a tree. “Ah-ha….,” The Big Bad Wolf said, “Now I’ve got you and I’m going to eat you! EAT! EAT! EAT!…” Little Red Riding Hood said angrily, “Damn it, […]...
25. Two men were walking through the woods whenTwo men were walking through the woods when a large bear walked out into the clearing no more than 50 feet in front of them. The first man dropped his backpack and dug out a pair of running shoes, then began to furiously attempt to lace them up as the bear slowly approached them. The […]...
26. There is a child molester and a young boy walking throughThere is a child molester and a young boy walking through a deep remote forest. After a while the boy gets very cold and frightened so he says, “Mister i’m scared and cold, please let me go”,the child molester cries out, “You think your scared I have to walk home alone!”...
27. There was a drunk man walking down the street turningThere was a drunk man walking down the street turning his car keys back and forth. A policeman came up to him and asked, “Sir, what are you doing?” The drunk replied, “I am looking for my car, the last time I saw it, it was on the end of these keys.” The police officer […]...
28. A man was walking down the street when he noticedA man was walking down the street when he noticed his grandpa sitting on the porch, in the rocking chair, with nothing on from the waist down. “Grandpa, what are you doing?” he exclaimed. The old man looked off in the distance and did not answer him. “Grandpa, what are you doing sitting out here […]...
29. One day there were these three boys walking downOne day there were these three boys walking down the street, all of a sudden they heard a yell: ‘HELP! HELP!’ When the boys got to the noise they saw Bill Clinton in a lake drowning. The three boys saved him from drowning. Bill Clinton asks the first boy how he could ever repay him. […]...
30. Mary Jane was walking on the beach one day and saw a sharkMary Jane was walking on the beach one day and saw a shark swimming around a man. The man was screaming, “Help me! Help me!” Mary Jane laughed and laughed! She knew that the shark was never going to help that man!...
31. Schick is walking down the boardwalk in Atlantic CitySchick is walking down the boardwalk in Atlantic City, runs into a hooker, and he says, “How much?” She says, “Twenty bucks.” He says, “All right.” They climb down under the boardwalk, and he bangs her. The next night, he runs into the same hooker, they go under the boardwalk, only this time while he’s […]...
32. This businessman was walking down the sidewalkThis businessman was walking down the sidewalk when a jet black van stopped by him. The guys pulled the man inside, stripped him of all his clothes till he was butt naked, threw him back outside, and then slammed the door shut taking off. Five miles later the men look outside and see the businessman […]...
33. Значение идиомы hell[hell] See: COME HELL OR HIGH WATER, GO THROUGH HELL AND HIGHWATER, HELL-ON-WHEELS, LIKE HELL, TO HELL WITH, UNTIL HELL FREEZESOVER, WHEN HELL FREEZES OVER....
34. This black guy is walking along a beach whenThis black guy is walking along a beach when he looks down a sees an antique lamp. Thinking that he’ll get enough money for another vial of crack, he takes the bottle home and starts to clean it. He starts rubbing the lamp, when all of a sudden a Jewish genie appears, and being a […]...
35. Two senior couples are walking along, wives in frontTwo senior couples are walking along, wives in front, husbands in back. Herb says to Sam, “Gee, we went to a new restaurant last night and had the best meal ever. Good prices too.” Sam says, “Well, we like to eat out too. What was the name of the restaurant?” Herb says, “You’ll going to […]...
36. A man was walking in the street when he heard a voiceA man was walking in the street when he heard a voice: “Stop! Stand still! If you take one more step, a brick will fall down on your head and kill you.” The man stopped and a big brick fell right in front of him. The man was astonished. He went on, and after awhile […]...
37. This 60 year old woman was walking along 5th AvenueThis 60 year old woman was walking along 5th Avenue when she heard a voice from above “You will live to be 100.” She looked around and didn’t see anyone. Again she heard “You will live to be 100.” Boy, she thought to herself, that was the voice of God. I’ve got 40 more years […]...
38. A man is walking past this house when a used condomA man is walking past this house when a used condom comes flying out of the second story window and lands squarely on his head. Rather disgusted and absolutely furious, he goes up to the front door and starts pounding on it. An elderly man opens it and asks him what caused him to knock […]...
39. A priest is walking down the street one day whenA priest is walking down the street one day when he notices a very small boy trying to press a doorbell on a house across the street. However, the boy is very small and the doorbell is too high for him to reach. After watching the boys efforts for some time, the priest moves closer […]...
40. This redneck gets married, but on his wedding nightThis redneck gets married, but on his wedding night he doesn’t know what to do. He’s fumbling around for a while, but finally his wife gets fed up and says, “Jeb, ya big idiot! Yer s’pposed to take that thing you play with and put it where I pee!” …So he got his bowling bowl […]...