I was out with one of my best drinking buddies

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1. Traditions A man and a woman got married, and he told her : ” since you are my wife you should respect my traditions and habits…and i have 3 traditions. So, first tradition: On wednesdays i play football with my friends…no matter what..whether it snows or it rains…i dont care..i play football!! -Is it clear for […]...
2. Out All Night Drinking An Irishman’s been at a pub all night drinking. The bartender finally says that the bar is closed. So he stands up to leave and falls flat on his face. He figures he’ll crawl outside and get some fresh air and maybe that will sober him up. Once outside he stands up and falls flat […]...
3. Wishful Drinking Quotes *** “Sometimes you can only find Heaven by slowly backing away from Hell.” *** “Anyway, George comes up to me the first day of filming and he takes one look at the dress and says, ‘You can’t wear a bra under that dress.’ So, I say, ‘Okay, I’ll bite. Why?’ And he says, ‘Because… there’s […]...
4. Two buddies get together and decide to Two buddies get together and decide to go to a whorehouse, one of them tired of doing it with his wife all the time, the other not having it done for a long time. Anyways the married one goes up and comes down and says ” My wife is much better”. “Allright” goes the other […]...
5. Bloke is drinking at a pub Bloke is drinking at a pub and after a few rounds goes to leave, explaining to the barman he has to go home to do a shit. “Don’t be stupid,” says the barman, “We’ve got a perfectly good toilet here!” “Yes,” explains the drinker, “but I take salts.” “So what??!! That doesn’t matter – you […]...
6. A man had been drinking at the bar for hours A man had been drinking at the bar for hours when he mentioned something about his girlfriend being out in the car. The bartender, concerned because it was so cold, went to check on her. When he looked inside the car, he saw the drunk’s buddy, Pete, and his girlfriend going at it in the […]...
7. Перевод слова recall Recall – отозвать, возвращать, вспоминать Перевод слова Beyond recall – не могущий быть отмененным to recall an ambassador – отозвать посла I don’t recall his name – я не припоминаю его фамилию She was Recalled by a loud laugh. Она запомнилась громким смехом. The furnishings Recall the 1960s. Мебель напоминает о 1960-х годах. The admiral […]...
8. Two friends were out drinking Two friends were out drinking when suddenly one lurched backward off his barstool and lay motionless on the floor. “One thing about Jim,” his buddy said to the bartender, “he knows when to stop.”...
9. Two buddies were sharing drinks while discussing their wives Two buddies were sharing drinks while discussing their wives. “Does your wife ever… well, you know… does she… well, let you do it doggie style?” asked one of the two. “Well, not exactly,” his friend replied, “She’s into the dog trick aspect of it.” “Oh, I see. Kinky stuff, huh?” “Well… not exactly. More like […]...
10. Preventing Binge Drinking Danielle: They’re At it again. Those college kids next door are having another Kegger. Nabil: That’s what we get for buying a house this close to a college. College students will have keggers and they’ll Binge drink. It’s a Rite of passage. Danielle: It’s dangerous to their health and a Menace to the neighborhood, and […]...
11. Значение идиомы as a matter of fact [as a matter of fact] {adv. phr.} Actually; really; in addition to what has been said; in reference to what was said. – Often used as an interjection. It’s not true that I cannot swim; as a matter of fact, I used to work as a lifeguard in Hawaii. Do you think this costs too […]...
12. A man says to his wife A man says to his wife, “Get ready you, me & the dog are going fishing.” Wife says, “I dont want to go.” Man gives her 3 choices, fishing, blow job or take it up the a*se. Wife pick blow job. After she sucking for a while she says, “It tastes like sh*t. Man says, […]...
13. Reasons to allow drinking at work The below are valid reasons as to why drinking should be allowed at work. If you use them wisely, you may even be able to convince your boss into allowing alcohol. 1. It’s an incentive to show up. 2. It reduces stress. 3. It leads to more honest communications. 4. It reduces complaints about low […]...
14. Ought to be hung When the airline Captain announced they were flying over Salt Lake City, Utah, a woman told the man sitting beside her, “I understand this is the home of the Mormon religion where husbands believe it’s OK to have more than one wife.” That’s true,” he replied, “as a matter of fact I happen to be […]...
15. The guide to wife translations The wife says: You want The wife means: You want The wife says: We need The wife means: I want The wife says: It’s your decision The wife means: The correct decision should be obvious The wife says: Do what you want The wife means: You’ll pay for this later The wife says: We need […]...
16. A blonde walked into a doctor’s office with a hole in her hand A blonde walked into a doctor’s office with a hole in her hand. The doctor told her that he had to report all gunshot wounds, and this was an obvious gunshot wound, so would she please explain how it happened? The blonde said, “Well, to be honest with you, I was trying to commit suicide, […]...
17. Uh-Oh!! The husband finally wised up to the fact that his wife was less than faithful. He hired a private investigator to follow her and in less than a week, had all the information that he needed on the “other man”. The husband convinced himself that his would still be a loving and trustworthy marriage had […]...
18. Waiting for a Man or Woman to Call Lyla: Okay, here’s a Hypothetical. You ask a girl for her Number, but wait two weeks to call her. What gives? George: Well, that Depends. Why? Lyla: Well, I met this guy two weeks ago at a party. We spent the entire evening talking and I thought we really Hit it off. We had a […]...
19. Drinking: Alcoholism Getting the Facts For many people, the facts about alcoholism are not clear. What is alcoholism, exactly? How does it differ from alcohol abuse? When should a person seek help for a problem related to his or her drinking? This information will explain alcoholism and alcohol abuse, symptoms of each, when and where to seek […]...
20. True love Three men were drinking at a bar – a doctor, an attorney and a biker. As the doctor was drinking his white wine he said, “For her birthday, I’m going to buy my wife a fur coat and a diamond ring. This way, if she doesn’t like the fur coat she will still love me […]...
21. Значение идиомы matter-of-fact [matter-of-fact] {adj.} 1. Simply telling or showing the truth; notexplaining or telling more. The newspaper gave a matter-of-factaccount of the murder trial. 2. Showing little feeling or excitementor trouble; seeming not to care much. When Mary’s father died sheacted in a very matter-of-fact way. He was a very matter-of-factperson....
22. A man is driving down the road for a long period of time A man is driving down the road for a long period of time. During his travel, he sees a priest with a gas can hitch hiking, so he gladly picks him up he says,”Normally father, i dont pick up hitch hikers. You seem like a man of dignity so i thought id make an exception. […]...
23. Перевод идиомы as a matter of fact, значение выражения и пример использования Идиома: as a matter of fact Идиома: as a matter of fact разг. Перевод: на самом деле, фактически, собственно говоря Пример: As a matter of fact, we have been to the art gallery many times. На самом деле, мы много раз были в художественной галерее....
24. A really bad, terrible mistake Fred goes to a doctor and says, “Doc, I want to be castrated.” Doc says, “Look, I don’t know what kind of cult you’re into or what your motives are, but I’m not going to do that sort of operation.” Fred: “Doc, I just want to be castrated, and I’m a little embarrassed about talking […]...
25. Значение идиомы in fact [in fact] also [in point of fact] {adv. phr.} Really truthfully. – Often used for emphasis. No one believed it but, in fact, Mary didget an A on her book report. It was a very hot day; in fact, itwas 100 degrees. Compare: MATTER OF FACT....
26. Перевод слова mood Mood – настроение Перевод слова To wake up in a bla mood – проснуться в плохом настроении a buoyant mood – жизнерадостное расположение духа to lighten one’s mood – улучшать настроение Why had her Mood changed so dramatically? Почему ее настроение изменилось так резко? My boyfriend is still in a Mood. Мой парень все еще […]...
27. Значение идиомы think out [think out] {v.} 1. To find out or discover by thinking; study andunderstand. Andy thought out a way of climbing to the top of thepole. Compare FIGURE OUT, WORK OUT. 2. To think through to the end;to understand what would come at last. Bill wanted to quit school, but he thought out the matter and […]...
28. Wife-taming method Two married buddies are out drinking one night when one turns to the other and says, “You know, I don’t know what else to do. Whenever I go home after we’ve been out drinking, I turn the headlights off before I get to the driveway. I shut off the engine and coast into the garage. […]...
29. A snooker player Bill Webeniuk was famous for his drinking ability William Alexander “Bill” Werbeniuk (14 January 1947 – 20 January 2003) was a Canadian professional snooker and pool player. Recognisable for his girth, he was nicknamed “Big Bill”. William Werbeniuk was born on 14 January 1947 in Winnipeg. His paternal grandfather had immigrated to Canada from Ukraine; his father, according to Werbeniuk, “was one of […]...
30. Going crazy with confusion A psychiatrist visited a California mental institution and asked a patient, “How did you get here? What was the nature of your illness?” He got the following reply. “Well, it all started when I got married and I guess I should never have done it. I married a widow with a grown daughter who then […]...
31. Staying in a Vacation Rental George: I’m kind of nervous staying in a Vacation rental for the first time. Marnie: Don’t worry. Before I Booked this unit, I checked it out thoroughly. It’s Pet-friendly and Kid-friendly, and it Sleeps six, so it’ll be perfect for the whole family. George: But there won’t be the same Amenities or services as a […]...
32. The Death of a Pet Dad: Honey, I have some bad news for you. Fluffy has Gone to the other side. Sarah: You mean she’s out of her cage again? I’ll go and try to find her. Dad: No, you don’t understand. Fluffy Passed away in the night. Sarah: Oh, she Died! That’s too bad, but she was Getting up […]...
33. An old retired man goes to his wife one day An old retired man goes to his wife one day, and says to her, “I don’t know how to tell you this dear, but the stock market crashed, and I’m afraid we’re broke.” The wife says, “No, we’re not. Let’s go for a drive into town.” Husband replies, “Our savings are all gone and you […]...
34. Simple Curiosity My wife and I were watching some TV show the other nite where the wife hired a private detective to follow her husband and see if he were in fact “cheating” on her. I asked my wife if she would ever do that. She said, “Well not so much to find out who the other […]...
35. Seventy year old George went for his annual physical Seventy year old George went for his annual physical. All of his tests came back with great results. Dr. Smith said, “George everything looks great physically. How are you doing mentally, emotionally and are you at peace with your self and have a good relationship with God?” George replied, “God and me are tight. We […]...
36. There were two bulls, a young one named George and an old one named Sam There were two bulls, a young one named George and an old one named Sam. It was that time of year to satisfy the local female population, and young George was pretty excited. “Sam, Sam, can I go down to those heifers over there?” asked George. “George, relax. Here is how it works. We’ll wait […]...
37. Перевод слова minute Minute – минута; мелкий Перевод слова Minute hand – минутная стрелка in a minute – скоро, прямо сейчас to measure very minute changes of temperature – измерять малейшие изменения температуры minute particles of dust – мельчайшие частицы пыли I’ll be back in a Minute. Я вернусь через минуту. Hey, wait a Minute! Эй, подождите минутку! […]...
38. It’s a sin “I’ve had it with my wife.” said the one drinking buddy to the other. “I’m filing for an divorce.” “Sorry to hear that pal.” said his partner. “May I ask why?” “I found her supply of birth control pills.” said the first. “Listen Frank, with all due respect to your religion, I just can’t see […]...
39. Dealing with an Apartment Super George: Did you call the Super about fixing the leaky faucet? Louise: I called him on Monday, but I haven’t Heard back yet. George: Well, call him again. This window is stuck and it won’t close. Louise: I’ll call him, but I think he’s avoiding our calls. George: He’s the worst super we’ve ever had. […]...
40. Drinking too much A man sat down at a bar, looked into his shirt pocket, and ordered a double scotch. A few minutes later, the man again peeked into his pocket and ordered another double. This routine was followed for some time, until after looking into his pocket, he told the bartender that he’s had enough. The bartender […]...