I just ate those peanuts

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1. A bowl of chili A homeless man walks into a diner with enough change for a cup of coffee. Seated next to him at the counter, was a well-dressed man with a bowl of chili in front of him. A few minutes later, finishing his cup of coffee, the homeless man begins to notice that the stranger next to […]...
2. Peanuts Sitting at home one night with his wife, a man is casually tossing peanuts into the air and catching them in his mouth. As the couple take in the latest episode of their favorite program, the man loses concentration for a split second, and a peanut goes into his ear. He tries to get it […]...
3. Traditions A man and a woman got married, and he told her : ” since you are my wife you should respect my traditions and habits…and i have 3 traditions. So, first tradition: On wednesdays i play football with my friends…no matter what..whether it snows or it rains…i dont care..i play football!! -Is it clear for […]...
4. Перевод слова bowl Bowl – кубок, чаша Перевод слова A bowl of soup – чашка супа salad bowl – салатница sugar bowl – сахарница He upset a Bowl of soup. Он опрокинул миску с супом. Fill the Bowl with sugar. Наполни сахарницу. Mix all the ingredients thoroughly in a large Bowl. Тщательно перемешайте все ингредиенты в большой миске....
5. Перевод слова chocolate Chocolate – шоколад Перевод слова To binge on chocolate – объедаться шоколадом chocolate cake – шоколадный торт chocolate candy – шоколадная конфета I just can’t resist Chocolate. Я просто не могу устоять перед шоколадом. He has a weakness for Chocolate. У него слабость к шоколаду. Chocolate is poisonous to dogs. Шоколад очень вреден для собак. […]...
6. The Diet BREAKFAST 1/2 grapefruit 1 slice whole wheat toast 8 oz glass skim milk LUNCH 4 oz lean broiled chicken breast 1 cup steamed zucchini 1 Oreo cookie MID-AFTERNOON SNACK rest of the package of Oreo cookies 1 quart Rocky Road ice cream 1 jar hot fudge DINNER 2 loaves garlic bread 1 large pepperoni & […]...
7. There were two people having sex in a car There were two people having sex in a car. They finished up and the guy thew the comdom out the window. His girlfriend got mad at him she wanted to go again. So he got out of the car and went to find the condom. He found that a little boy had found it and […]...
8. Перевод слова aunt Aunt – тетя Перевод слова Great aunt – двоюродная бабка male aunt – шутл. дядя aunt in law – жена дяди; тетка Aunt Mary sends her love. Тетя Мэри передает привет. He has three Aunts and two uncles. У него три тетки и два дяди....
9. Значение идиомы Aunt Tom [Aunt Tom] {n.}, {slang}, {originally from Black English} A successful professional or business woman who, due to her success in a masculine profession, doesn’t care about the women’s liberation movement or the passing of the Equal Rights Amendment to the U. S. Constitution. Hermione is a regular Aunt Tom, she’ll never vote for the ERA....
10. Don’t Forget! An 80-year-old couple were having problems remembering things, so they decided to go to their doctor to get checked out to make sure nothing was wrong with them. When they arrived at the doctor’s, they explained to the doctor about the problems they were having with their memory. After checking the couple out, the doctor […]...
11. After spending a night at a hotel with a prostitute After spending a night at a hotel with a prostitute, the politician took $300 out of his wallet and placed it on the dressing table. “Thanks,” she said. “But I only charge $20.” “Twenty bucks for the entire night?” the amazed MP replied. “You can’t make a living on that.” “Oh, don’t worry,” the whore […]...
12. A use for Viagra A man goes to visit his 85-year-old grandpa in the hospital. “How are you grandpa?” he asks. “Feeling fine,” says the old man. “What’s the food like?” “Terrific, wonderful menus.” “And the nursing?” “Just couldn’t be better. These young nurses really take care of you.” “What about sleeping? Do you sleep okay?” “No problem at […]...
13. Перевод слова entire Entire – полный, целый Перевод слова The entire country – вся страна the entire world – целый мир, весь свет entire contract – неделимый договор Have you drunk the Entire bottle? Вы выпили всю бутылку? He willed his Entire estate to her. Он завещал ей все свое состояние. The war affected an Entire generation of […]...
14. Failed Government Projects Mariana: How long do you think it will be before the Stadium is finished? Klaus: Don’t hold your breath. The plan for the stadium is Fundamentally flawed, but the government Rammed it down the throats of the Voters. Mariana: Do you really think the project is Doomed? Klaus: Haven’t you heard the reports of corruption […]...
15. An old bloke in the Northern Territory was showing An old bloke in the Northern Territory was showing some tourists how to top up a camel with water. “That way,” he said, “You get an extra day out of them between drinks.” As the camel bent down to drink, the bloke picked up two bricks and bashed them over the camel’s balls. The camel […]...
16. A boy finished cutting the lawn of a priest A boy finished cutting the lawn of a priest…the grass was very thick and long, and it took the boy about 4 hours to cut. He approached the Father for payment and the priest paid him $1.00. The boy said “Thank you, virgin Father!” The priest replied, “What did you say?” The boy repeated, “Thank […]...
17. The Microsoft waiter Patron: Waiter! Waiter: Hi, my name is Bill, and I’ll be your Support Waiter. What seems to be the problem? Patron: There’s a fly in my soup! Waiter: Try again, maybe the fly won’t be there this time. Patron: No, it’s still there. Waiter: Maybe it’s the way you’re using the soup; try eating it […]...
18. Значение идиомы goldfish bowl [goldfish bowl] {n.}, {slang}, {informal} 1. A situation in whichit is not possible to keep things secret for any length of time. Washington Society is a goldfish bowl. 2. An apartment or place thatprovides no privacy for its occupant, e. g., an office that has toomany windows. Joe’s office is a goldfish bowl, that’s why […]...
19. CHOCOLATE CHOCOLATE By John Scalzi Chocolate is God’s way of reminding men how inadequate they are. I am vividly confronted with this fact every time my wife and I go out to a restaurant. When it gets to dessert, my wife usually orders the most chocolate-saturated dessert possible: It’s the one called “Unstoppable Double-Fudge Chocolate Mudslide […]...
20. The Bachelor Diet Monday Breakfast – Who can eat Breakfast on a Monday? Swallow some toothpaste while brushing your teeth Lunch – Send your secretary out for six “gutbombers” – those little hamburgers that used to cost a dime but now cost sixty five cents. Also order French fries, a bowl of chilli, a soft drink and have […]...
21. The bachelor’s diet Bachelor’s Diet MONDAY: BREAKFAST – Who can eat breakfast on a Monday? Swallow some toothpaste while brushing your teeth LUNCH – Send your secretary out for six “gutbombers” those little hamburgers that used to cost a dime but now cost sixty five cents. Also order French fries, a bowl of chili, a soft drink and […]...
22. Упаковка и единицы товара A bottle (of milk) – бутыль (молока) A glass (of water) – стакан (воды) A jug (of water) – кувшин (воды) A cup (of tea) – чашка (чая) A packet (of tea) – пачка (чая) A jar (of honey) – банка (меда) A loaf (of bread) – батон (хлеба) A slice (of bread) – ломоть […]...
23. How you made money A young man asked an old rich man how he made his money. The old guy fingered his worsted wool vest and said, “Well, son, it was 1932. The depth of the Great Depression. I was down to my last nickel. “I invested that nickel in an apple. I spent the entire day polishing the […]...
24. Перевод слова care Care – забота, попечение Перевод слова Care of public health – общественное здравоохранение in care – на воспитании parental care – родительская забота I don’t Care. Меня это не волнует. They shared the Care of the children. Они вместе заботились о детях. She was taken into Care as a baby. Ребенком ее взяли на воспитание....
25. Aunt Dora went to her doctor to see what could be done Aunt Dora went to her doctor to see what could be done about her constipation. “It’s terrible,” she said, “I haven’t moved my bowels in a week.” “I see. Have you done anything about it?” asked the doctor. “Naturally,” she replied, “I sit in the bathroom for a half-hour in the morning and again at […]...
26. Constipation problem Old Aunt Dora went to her doctor to see what could be done about her constipation. “It’s terrible,” she said, “I haven’t moved my bowels in a week.” “I see. Have you done anything about it?” asked the doctor. “Naturally,” she replied, “I sit in the bathroom for a half – hour in the morning […]...
27. A youngster devoted an entire rainy indoors afternoon to a A youngster devoted an entire rainy indoors afternoon to a drawing he was doing with varicolored crayons. His mother finally looked over his shoulder, and, puzzled, asked “Who’s that you’re drawing, son?” The son answered, “God.” “Don’t be silly,” reproved the mother. “Nobody knows what God looks like.” Not even pausing in his task, the […]...
28. Ordering Soups and Salads After a long tiring day at work, I stopped at a restaurant nearby for a quick meal. Server: Hi, I’m Ursula. Can I get you something to drink? Paulo: Yes, I’d like an iced tea and I’m also ready to order. I’ll just have a bowl of Soup and a Salad. Server: Sure, no problem. […]...
29. Indicator A businessman entered a tavern, sat down at the bar, and ordered a double scotch on the rocks. After he finished the drink, he peeked inside his shirt pocket, then he ordered another double scotch. After he finished that one, he again peeked inside his shirt pocket and ordered another double scotch. Finally, the bartender […]...
30. The golf course A man playing on a new golf course got confused as to what hole he was on. He saw a lady playing ahead of him. He walked up to her and asked if she knew what hole he was playing. She replied, “I’m on the 7th hole, and you’re a hole behind me, so you […]...
31. Перевод слова suck Suck – сосать, высасывать Перевод слова To suck lollipops – сосать леденцы to suck the juice from an orange – высасывать сок из апельсина the pump sucks – насос засасывает воздух I Sucked a cough drop. Я сосал таблетку от кашля. This pump never Sucks. Этот насос никогда не засасывает воздух. The fluid was Sucked […]...
32. Значение идиомы have in the palm of one’s hand [have in the palm of one’s hand] {v. phr.} To completely control;have a project finished, all wrapped up. Our boss felt that if hecould calm his critics he would soon have the entire factory in thepalm of his hand....
33. Darling, she whispered after they had finished making love “Darling,” she whispered after they had finished making love, “Will you still make love like that to me after we’re married?” He considered this for a moment, and then replied, “I think so. I’ve always been especially fond of married women.”...
34. Recipe for Banana Bread Ingredients: 2 Laughing Eyes 2 Loving Arms 2 Well Shaped Legs 2 Firm Milk Containers 1 Fur Lined Mixing Bowl 2 Large Nuts 1 Large Banana Method: 1. Look into Loving Eyes. 2. Fold in Loving Arms. 3. Spread Well Shaped Legs. 4. Squeeze and massage Milk Containers gently until Fur Lined Mixing Bowl is […]...
35. A man calls his mother in Florida A man calls his mother in Florida. “Mom, how are you?” “Not too good,”says the mother. “I’ve been very weak.” The son says, “Why are you so weak?” She says, “Because I haven’t eaten in 38 days.” The man says, “That’s terrible. Why haven’t you eaten in 38 days? The mother answers, “Because I didn’t […]...
36. A young man was staying on a farm with his uncle and aunt A young man was staying on a farm with his uncle and aunt for the summer. One morning the aunt and uncle walked in the kitchen and the young man was drinking an extremely large glass of milk. The young man said “I took the liberty of milking your cow this morning!” He then continues […]...
37. Little Mermaid Three fellows walking along the beach noticed a mermaid sitting on a rock swishing her tail in the foam. The first man waded out to her and said, Hello mermaid! Have you ever been kissed?” She replied, “no sir!” So he kissed her quite thoroughly and asked, “Did you like that?” “Oh, indeed I did, […]...
38. Change is always for the better – Перемены всегда к лучшему A change is an act or result of something becoming different. It can be also a fact of a situation, a place or an experience being different from what is usual and therefore likely to be interesting, enjoyable, etc. “Chocolat” is a film that is one of the brightest illustrations for an act of change. […]...
39. A carpet-layer had just finished installing carpet for a lady A carpet-layer had just finished installing carpet for a lady. He stepped out for a smoke, only to realize he’d lost his cigarettes. In the middle of the room, under the carpet, was a bump. “No sense pulling up the entire floor for one pack of smokes,” he said to himself. He proceeded to get […]...
40. The fruit cake recipie You’ll need the following: a cup of water, a cup of sugar, four large eggs, two cups of dried fruit, a teaspoon of baking soda, a teaspoon of salt, a cup of brown sugar, lemon juice, nuts, and a bottle of whisky. Sample the whisky to check for quality. Take a large bowl. Check the […]...