I get so drunk that I imagine things

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1. Drunk orders himself a beerA man walks into the front door of a bar. He is obviously drunk. he staggers up to the bar, seats himself on a stool, and with a belch, asks the bartender for a drink. The bartender politely informs the man that it appears that he has already had plenty to drink — he could ... Читать далее...
2. There was a drunk man walking down the street turningThere was a drunk man walking down the street turning his car keys back and forth. A policeman came up to him and asked, «Sir, what are you doing?» The drunk replied, «I am looking for my car, the last time I saw it, it was on the end of these keys.» The police officer ... Читать далее...
3. Перевод слова drunkDrunk — пьяный, опьяненный Перевод слова Blind drunk — мертвецки пьяный to get drunk — напиться, упиться drunk with success — опьяненный успехом Are you Drunk? Ты что, пьян? He was beastly Drunk. Он напился как скотина. We got Drunk on wine. Мы опьянели от вина. Интересные факты Слово также является 3-й формой неправильного глагола...
4. Arriving home very drunkA man is in a bar and falling off his stool every couple of minutes. He is obviously drunk. So the bartender says to another man in the bar: «Why don’t you be a good Samaritan and take him home.» The man takes the drunk out the door and to his car and he stumbles ... Читать далее...
5. Значение идиомы to death[to death] {adv. phr.}, {informal} To the limit; to the greatestdegree possible. — Used for emphasis with verbs such as «scare»,»frighten», «bore». Cowboy stories bore me to death, but I likemysteries. Sara is scared to death of snakes. John is tickledto death with his new bike....
6. A drunk leaves a bar and decides to take a shortcutA drunk leaves a bar and decides to take a shortcut through a graveyard. It is raining heavily and very dark. The drunk fails to see an open grave and falls into it. He tries to climb out of it, but it is too deep and the rain has turned the dirt to mud and ... Читать далее...
7. Three guys were talking one morning about how drunk they wereThree guys were talking one morning about how drunk they were at this party they were at the night before. 1st guy: Man, I was so drunk that last night I got home and blew chunks. 2nd guy: Oh yeah? Well, I was so drunk that on the way home I was pulled over and ... Читать далее...
8. There was a husband and his wife sitting next to a drunkThere was a husband and his wife sitting next to a drunk in a bar. Suddenly the drunk stands up and yells, «ATTENTION ALL» and farts loudly. The wife is extremely embarrassed, and the husband looks at the drunk and says» Excuse me, you just farted before my wife.» The drunks replies,» I’m sorry I ... Читать далее...
9. Things that are difficult to say when you are drunkTHINGS THAT ARE DIFFICULT TO SAY WHEN YOU’RE DRUNK: Indubitably Innovative Preliminary Proliferation Cinnamon THINGS THAT ARE VERY DIFFICULT TO SAY WHEN YOU’RE DRUNK: Specificity British Constitution Passive-aggressive disorder Loquacious Transubstantiate THINGS THAT ARE DOWNRIGHT IMPOSSIBLE TO SAY WHEN YOU’RE DRUNK: Thanks, but I don’t want to have sex Nope, no more booze for me ... Читать далее...
10. Значение идиомы punch-drunk[punch-drunk] {adj.} 1. Dazed or become dulled in the mind frombeing hit in the head. He was a punch-drunk boxer who made hisliving shining shoes. 2. In a foggy state of mind; groggy. Marywas so thrilled at winning the contest she acted punch-drunk. Markwas punch-drunk for a few minutes after he fell off his bicycle....
11. Your father is drunkTo The Tune Of Santa Claus Is Coming To Town Oh you better not shout, you better not cry, You better not pout, I’m tellin’ you why, Daddy’s home and I think he’s drunk. He’s walkin’ real slow, he slurs when he speaks, I don’t even think he’s shaved in two weeks, Daddy’s home and ... Читать далее...
12. Test for being drunkA police officer pulls over this guy who had been weaving in and out of the lanes. He goes up to the guy’s window and says, «Sir, I need you to blow into this breathalyzer tube.» The man says, «Sorry officer I can’t do that. I am an asthmatic. If I do that I’ll have ... Читать далее...
13. A drunk staggered into a cemetery andA drunk staggered into a cemetery and fell into a freshly dug grave. Pretty soon a second drunk staggered by. «Get me out of here», said the one in the grave, «I’m cold». The other one looked over the edge and said, «No wonder you’re cold, you poor guy. You don’t have any dirt on ... Читать далее...
14. A driver, obviously drunk, was heading the wrong wayA driver, obviously drunk, was heading the wrong way down a one-way street when a policeman pulled him over. «Didn’t you see the arrow, buddy?» he asked. «An arrow?» the confused driver said. «I didn’t even see the Indians...
15. Humor about Drunk Irishmen 2Casey McCarthy had just arrived in New York City and was amazed at the enormity of everything. Having drunk a pint or two on the flight over, he sorely needed to relieve himself. The first door he entered happened to be a large health club, and he asked the clerk if he might use the ... Читать далее...
16. I know you were drunk yesterdayA fellow decides to take off early from work and go drinking. He stays until the bar closes at three in the morning, at which time he is extremely drunk. After leaving the bar, he returns home on foot. When he enters his house, he doesn’t want to wake anyone, so he takes off his ... Читать далее...
17. I just trying to be helpfulA good samaritan was walking home late one night when he came upon this drunk on the sidewalk. Wanting to help, he asked the drunk «do you live here?» «Yep». «Would you like me to help you upstairs?» «Yep». When they got up on the second floor, the good person asked «Is this your floor?» ... Читать далее...
18. The 75 year old man and his young, knockout wifeThe 75 year old man and his young, knockout wife were shopping in an upscale jewelry boutique when the man’s oldest friend bumped into him. Eyeing the curvaceous blonde bending over the counter to try on a necklace, the friend asked «How in the hell did YOU land a wife like that?» The old man ... Читать далее...
19. Перевод идиомы up someone’s alley / down someone’s alley, значение выражения и пример использованияИдиома: up someone’s alley / down someone’s alley Идиома: up someone’s alley / down someone’s alley разг. Перевод: быть в кругу чьих-либо способностей, интересов Пример: He is very good at solving difficult math problems; this job is right up his alley. Он очень хорошо решает трудные математические задачи, эта работа как раз по его линии....
20. What is a breathanalyzer?«Shhaaayyy, buddy, what’s a ‘Breathalyzer’?» asked one drunk to his friend at the next barstool. «Well, I’d have to say it’s a bag that tells you when you’ve drunk way too much,» answered the equally wasted gent. «Ah hell, whaddya know? I’ve been married to one of those for years and years now!»...
21. A completely inebriated man was stumbling downA completely inebriated man was stumbling down the street with one foot on the curb and one foot in the gutter. A cop pulled up and said, «I’ve got to take you in, pal. You’re obviously drunk.» Our wasted friend asked, «Ociffer, are ya absolutely sure I’m drunk?» Yeah, buddy, I’m sure,» said the copper. ... Читать далее...
22. He is extremely drunkLate one Friday night the policeman spotted a man driving very erratically through the streets of Dublin. They pulled the man over and asked him if he had been drinking that evening. «Aye, so I have. ‘Tis Friday, you know, so me and the lads stopped by the pub where I had six or seven ... Читать далее...
23. Two drunks walk into a barTwo drunks walk into a bar. The first drunk looks at his buddy and says «I gotta go use the can.» So he wonders off to the bathroom and is gone for 5 … 10… 20 minutes. Well his friend gets pissed off and goes in to get him. He finds him in there and ... Читать далее...
24. Значение идиомы blind alley[blind alley] {n.} 1. A narrow street that has only one entrance and no exit. The blind alley ended in a brick wall. 2. A way of acting that leads to no good results. John did not take the job because it was a blind alley. Tom thought of a way to do the algebra ... Читать далее...
25. Значение идиомы down one’s alley[down one’s alley] or [up one’s alley] {adj. phr.}, {slang} Suited to your tastes and abilities; what you like or like to do. Baseball is right down Jim’s alley. Compare: CUP OF TEA....
26. As a sergeant in a parachute regimentAs a sergeant in a parachute regiment I took part in serveral night time excersises. Once, I was seated next to a Lieutenant fresh from Jump School. He was quiet sad looked a bit pale so I struck up a conversation. «Scared, Lieutenant?», I asked. He replied, «No, just a bit apperhensive.» I asked, «What’s ... Читать далее...
27. A Drunk ScottsmanThere was a scottsman and he was too drunk to walk home from the bar. He decides to lay down a park bench and sleep. Tomorrow he would walk home after he was sober. In the morning two little girls are walking by to go to school when they see he is wearing his kilt. ... Читать далее...
28. Driving home very drunkIt seems a gentleman had too much alcohol at a party, was heading home, and was pulled over by a state trooper. Upon being tested, the fellow couldn’t walk a straight line any more than he could drive one, so the trooper wrote out a ticket and had just given it to the driver before ... Читать далее...
29. At 3 am a desk clerk at a hotel gets a call from a drunk guyAt 3 am a desk clerk at a hotel gets a call from a drunk guy asking what time the bar opens. «It opens at noon,» answers the clerk. About an hour later he gets a call from the same guy, sounding even= drunker. «What time does the bar open?» he asks. «Same time as ... Читать далее...
30. Перевод слова protectionProtection — защита, охрана, предохранение Перевод слова Employment protection — охрана труда rust protection — защита от коррозии protection software — программное обеспечение защиты They banded themselves together for Protection. Они объединились для защиты. Workers were provided with gloves for Protection. Работникам были предоставлены защитные перчатки. The members of parliament are still debating the Data ... Читать далее...
31. Mary was having an affair during the day whileMary was having an affair during the day while her husband, John, was at work. One day she was in bed with her boyfriend, Ralph, and she heard her husband’s car pull in the driveway. She yelled at Ralph: «Hurry! Grab your clothes and jump out the window my husband is home early!» Ralph looked ... Читать далее...
32. A man had been drinking at the bar for hoursA man had been drinking at the bar for hours when he mentioned something about his girlfriend being out in the car. The bartender, concerned because it was so cold, went to check on her. When he looked inside the car, he saw the drunk’s buddy, Pete, and his girlfriend going at it in the ... Читать далее...
33. My girlfriend is out in the carA man had been drinking at the bar for hours when he mentioned something about his girlfriend being out in the car. The bartender, concerned because it was so cold, went to check on her. When he looked inside the car, he saw the man’s friend, Dave, and his girlfriend kissing one another. The bartender ... Читать далее...
34. Donald MacDonald from the Isle of SkyeDonald MacDonald from the Isle of Skye (or maybe it was Neil McNell from Barra, but anyway..) went to study at an English university and was living in the hall of residence with all the other students there. After he had been there a month, his mother came to visit him (no doubt carrying reinforcements ... Читать далее...
35. Catch a drunk driverTwo rednecks, Bubba and Earl, were driving down the road drinking a couple of bottles of Bud. The passenger, Bubba, said «Lookey thar up ahead, Earl, it’s a police roadblock!! We’re gonna get busted fer drinkin’ these here beers!!» «Don’t worry, Bubba,» Earl said. «We’ll just pull over and finish drinkin’ these beers then peel ... Читать далее...
36. Ru-RuTwo guys get stuck on a desert island. They are soon caught by the natives and brought to a village and put before the cheif. He says to the first guy,»As punishment for tresspassing I give you a choice, death or Ru Ru».Not wanting to die he picks Ru Ru. He is then beaten and ... Читать далее...
37. A woman goes into a bar with a little Chihuahua dogA woman goes into a bar with a little Chihuahua dog on a leash. She sits down at the bar next to a drunk. The drunk rolls around, leans over, and splat! He pukes all over the dog. The drunk looks down, sees the little dog struggling in the pool of vomit, and slurs, «I ... Читать далее...
38. Значение идиомы right down[right down] or [up one’s alley] {adv. phr.} In accordance withone’s specialty or predilection. This kind of preclassical music isright up Bill’s alley; after all, he wrote his Ph. D. on Bach....
39. Значение идиомы between life and death[between life and death] {adv. phr.} In danger of dying or being killed; with life or death possible. He held on to the mountain side between life and death while his friends went to get help. The little sick girl lay all night between life and death until her fever was gone....
40. Перевод слова imagineImagine — воображать, представлять, предполагать, выдумывать Перевод слова Try to imagine our position — представьте себе наше положение I imagine it will rain — думаю, что пойдет дождь to imagine things — выдумывать, вбивать себе в голову невесть что just imagine — подумать только Imagine life without hot water. Представьте себе жизнь без горячей воды. ... Читать далее...