How all careers end

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1. If If lawyers are disbarred and clergymen defrocked, doesn’t it follow that electricians can be delighted, musicians denoted, cowboys deranged, models deposed and dry cleaners depressed? Laundry workers could decrease, eventually becoming depressed and depleted! Even more, bedmakers will be debunked, baseball players will be debased, landscapers will be deflowered, bulldozer operators will be degraded, organ […]...
2. If lawyers are disbarred and clergymen defrocked If lawyers are disbarred and clergymen defrocked, doesn’t it follow that electricians can be delighted, musicians denoted, cowboys deranged, models deposed, tree surgeons debarked, and dry cleaners depressed?...
3. Значение идиомы holy cats [holy cats] or [holy cow] or [holy mackerel] or [holy Moses]{interj.}, {informal} – Used to express strong feeling ; used in speech or when writingconversation. “Holy cats! That’s good pie!” said Dick. “Holycow! They can’t do that!” Mary said when she saw the boys hurting amuch smaller boy....
4. An old occupation What happens when people of different occupations get old. – Old accountants never die, they just lose their balance. – Old actors never die, they just drop apart. – Old archers never die, they just bow and quiver. – Old architects never die, they just lose their structures. – Old bankers never die, they just […]...
5. Financial Careers – Финансовая карьера What am I going to do after school or university? Maybe I should consider a job in the financial world. There’s a surprisingly wide range to choose from — for example, I could raise money for charities or sell famous paintings or write about economics as a financial journalist or run my own company or. […]...
6. Перевод слова holy Holy – священный, святой Перевод слова Holy water – святая вода holy ground – освященная земля holy man – праведник, святой We don’t treat the items as Holy relics. Мы не считаем эти предметы священными реликвиями. They were joined together in Holy matrimony. Они были соединены священными узами брака. He sprinkled the coffin with Holy […]...
7. Значение идиомы acoustic perfume [acoustic perfume] {n.}, {slang} Sound for covering up unwanted noise, such as music over loudspeakers in a noisy construction area. Let’s get out of here – this acoustic perfume is too much for my ears....
8. Значение идиомы good grief! [good grief!] {interj.}, {informal} Wow! Indication of surprise, good or bad. “Good grief,” Joe cried out loud. “Is this all youwill pay me for my hard work?” What a figure Melanie has, goodgrief! I wonder if she would be willing to go out with me. Compare:GOODNESS GRACIOUS!, HEAVENLY DAYS!, HOLY CATS or HOLY COW or […]...
9. A horny young man went to a brothel A horny young man went to a brothel… The lady at the counter asked him what his choice would be. The man wanted to know what was available. Madam, “On the first floor, we have the ex-models… they are all slinky and sexy… On the second floor, we have our ex-actresses…they are all buxom and […]...
10. Перевод слова desert Desert – пустыня; заслуга, награда; оставлять, покидать Перевод слова The Sahara Desert – пустыня Сахара to recognize real desert – видеть подлинные достоинства to each according to his deserts – каждому по заслугам the streets were deserted – улицы были пустынны He has got his just Deserts. Он получил по заслугам. They were lost in […]...
11. A lawyer and two friends, a Rabbi and a Hindu holy man A lawyer and two friends, a Rabbi and a Hindu holy man, had car trouble in the countryside and asked to spend the night with a farmer. The farmer said, “There might be a problem. You see, I only have room for two to sleep, one of you must sleep in the barn.” “No problem,” […]...
12. Where to send him? A Jesuit, a Dominican and a Franciscan were walking along an old road, debating the greatness of their orders. Suddenly, an apparition of the Holy Family appeared in front of them, with Jesus in a manger and Mary and Joseph praying over him. The Franciscan fell on his face, over come with awe at the […]...
13. Barber gives free cuts A barber gave a haircut to a priest one day. The priest tried to pay for the haircut, but the barber refused, saying, “you do God’s work.” The next morning the barber found a dozen bibles at the door to his shop. A policeman came to the barber for a haircut, and again the barber […]...
14. A nun is walking down a deserted road when A nun is walking down a deserted road when a man grabs her and starts raping her. After the rapist is done, he says, “Hey Sister, what are you going to tell the other Sisters now?” “I’ll tell them the truth, that you grabbed me, threw me to the ground, and raped me twice….unless you’re […]...
15. Fishing on the lake A famous admiral and an equally famous general were fishing together when a sudden squall came up. When it died down both eminent warriors were struggling helplessly in the water. The admiral floundered his way back to the boat and pulled himself painfully in. Then he fished out the general, using an oar. Catching his […]...
16. The South Takes a Cue from Oakland Everyone is familiar with the plan to teach Ebonics in such leftist enclaves as California and Massachusetts. “Ebonics,” a neologism created by combining “Ebony” and “phonics,” is supposed to be the language of the untermenschen, the urban underclass. Here in the South, we have a similar movement, called “Bubbonics!” Created from mixing “Bubba” and “phonics,” […]...
17. The Discovery of America В топике Открытие Америки описывается, как в 1942 году Христофор Колумб открыл новый континент. Отправившись из Испании в далекое плавание в поисках Индии, Колумб, неожиданно для себя открыл Новый свет, названный впоследствии “Америкой”. Christopher Columbus discovered America in 1492. He was born in Italy. His father and both grandfathers were cloth makers. Columbus was a […]...
18. Special High Intensity Teaching Memo to all students: In order to assure the highest levels of quality work and productivity From students, it will be our policy to keep all students well taught through our program of SPECIAL HIGH INTENSITY TEACHING (S. H. I. T.). We are trying to give our students more S. H. I. T. than any […]...
19. Значение идиомы showgirl [showgirl] {n.} One who works as an entertainer in a bar ornightclub, musical show, etc. Several famous Hollywood starsactually started their careers as showgirls....
20. Two men and one woman Long, but pretty good: On a group of beautiful deserted islands in the middle of nowhere, the following people are suddenly stranded by, as you might expect, a shipwreck: 2 Italian men and 1 Italian woman 2 French men and 1 French woman 2 German men and 1 German woman 2 Greek men and 1 […]...
21. There were two people having sex in a car There were two people having sex in a car. They finished up and the guy thew the comdom out the window. His girlfriend got mad at him she wanted to go again. So he got out of the car and went to find the condom. He found that a little boy had found it and […]...
22. The clerk showed the man the store’s most expensive perfume The clerk showed the man the store’s most expensive perfume. “This is called ‘Perhaps’,” said the sales clerk. “It’s $285 per ounce.” “Listen,” the man shot back, “for $285 an ounce, I don’t want something called ‘Perhaps’; I want something called… “You Can Bet Your Sweet Ass You’ll Get Some!!”...
23. The wife coyly tried to explain her purchase of a new The wife coyly tried to explain her purchase of a new pair of expensive imported panties. “After all, dear,” she said to her husband, “you wouldn’t expect to find fine perfume in a cheap bottle, would you?” “No,” her husband replied. “Nor would I expect to find gift wrapping on a dead beaver.”...
24. Describing Pleasant Scents Kitty: Oh, Smell that. Isn’t that Delectable? Pepe: Yes, it’s Pleasant. Kitty: Pleasant? It’s Heavenly. It has a nice Fruity scent, not too sweet. Pepe: If you say so. I don’t want to buy anything that has a strong Perfume smell. I’m a guy. Kitty: I know, but you want To exude a Sexy scent […]...
25. Describing Pleasant Scents Kitty: Oh, Smell that. Isn’t that Delectable? Pepe: Yes, it’s Pleasant. Kitty: Pleasant? It’s Heavenly. It has a nice Fruity scent, not too sweet. Pepe: If you say so. I don’t want to buy anything that has a strong Perfume smell. I’m a guy. Kitty: I know, but you want To exude a Sexy scent […]...
26. Please show the I. D The following supposedly a true story. This guy walked into a little corner store with a shot gun and demanded all the cash from the cash drawer. After the cashier put the cash in a bag, the robber saw a bottle of scotch that he wanted behind the counter on the shelf. He told the […]...
27. Sending out many cards A guy walks into a post office one day to see a middle-aged, balding man standing at the counter methodically placing “Love” stamps on bright pink envelopes with hearts all over them. He then takes out a perfume bottle and starts spraying scent all over them. His curiosity getting the better of him, he goes […]...
28. Quotes from stupid 01 These are supposedly actual quotes taken from around the world. “The effects are fleeting and lingering…” – Overheard in a hallway “In Managua, people are cheering in the streets, which are deserted.” – CBS reporter during the solar eclipse “A trucker called to thank all of the courteous Seattle drivers he had run across.” – […]...
29. At the Art Exhibit I really wanted to see the new Exhibit at the art museum and invited Lucy to come along. We both like Contemporary art and this was an Exhibition for an artist that we’ve both liked, Ever since she was An up and coming artist 10 years ago. This was a Retrospective so there was going […]...
30. Значение идиомы in the middle of nowhere [in the middle of nowhere] {adv. phr.} In a deserted, farawayplace. When my car stopped on the highway in the middle of nowhere, it took forever to get help....
31. Get me something cheap After being away on business for a week before Christmas, Tom thought it would be nice to bring his wife a little gift. “How about some perfume?” he asked the cosmetics clerk. She showed him a bottle costing $50. “That’s a bit much,” said Tom, so she returned with a smaller bottle for $30. “Thats […]...
32. Donald MacDonald from the Isle of Skye Donald MacDonald from the Isle of Skye (or maybe it was Neil McNell from Barra, but anyway..) went to study at an English university and was living in the hall of residence with all the other students there. After he had been there a month, his mother came to visit him (no doubt carrying reinforcements […]...
33. Перевод слова quality Quality – качество Перевод слова To check a product for quality – проверять качество изделия to clothe with quality – придавать качество competitive quality – конкурентоспособное качество degraded audio quality – плохое качество звука Quality is our watchword. Наш девиз – качество. That was a Quality job you did. Вы выполнили работу качественно. He had […]...
34. College Dorm On the first day of college, the Dean addressed the students, pointing out some of the rules: “The female dormitory will be out-of-bounds for all male students, and the male dormitory to the female students. Anybody caught breaking this rule will be fined $20 the first time.” He continued, “Anybody caught breaking this rule the […]...
35. A guy walks into a post office A guy walks into a post office one day to see a middle-aged, balding man standing at the counter methodically placing “Love” stamps on bright pink envelopes with hearts all over them. He then takes out a perfume bottle and starts spraying scent all over them. His curiosity getting the better of him, he goes […]...
36. Preventing Binge Drinking Danielle: They’re At it again. Those college kids next door are having another Kegger. Nabil: That’s what we get for buying a house this close to a college. College students will have keggers and they’ll Binge drink. It’s a Rite of passage. Danielle: It’s dangerous to their health and a Menace to the neighborhood, and […]...
37. Phone songs All of the following songs may be played on a touch-tone phone. Commas are pauses, and hyphens are held notes. Mary Had A Little Lamb 3212333, 222, 399, 3212333322321 or 3212333, 222, 133, 3212333322321 Jingle Bells 333, 333, 39123, 666-663333322329, 333, 333, 39123, 666-6633, 399621 Frere Jacques 1231, 1231, 369, 369, 9*9631, 9*9631, 111, 111 […]...
38. Перевод слова refuse Refuse – отказывать, отвергать; отбросы, мусор Перевод слова Refuse consumer – машина для уничтожения мусора to collect refuse – вывозить мусор to refuse a gift – отклонить подарок to refuse an office – отказаться от назначения Brakes Refused to act. Тормоза отказали. The Stock Exchange has been described as the cloaca bearing with it all […]...
39. Значение идиомы wildcat strike [wildcat strike] {n.}, {informal} A strike not ordered by a laborunion; a strike spontaneously arranged by a group of workers. Thegarbage collectors have gone on a wildcat strike, but the union isgoing to stop it....
40. Значение идиомы hard way [hard way] {n.} The harder or more punishing of two or more ways tosolve a problem, do something, or learn something. – Used with “the”. The mayor refused the help of the crooks and won the election thehard way by going out to meet the people. The challenger found outthe hard way that the champion’s […]...