How all careers end

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1. If lawyers are disbarred and clergymen defrockedIf lawyers are disbarred and clergymen defrocked, doesn’t it follow that electricians can be delighted, musicians denoted, cowboys deranged, models deposed, tree surgeons debarked, and dry cleaners depressed?...
2. IfIf lawyers are disbarred and clergymen defrocked, doesn’t it follow that electricians can be delighted, musicians denoted, cowboys deranged, models deposed and dry cleaners depressed? Laundry workers could decrease, eventually becoming depressed and depleted! Even more, bedmakers will be debunked, baseball players will be debased, landscapers will be deflowered, bulldozer operators will be degraded, organ ... Читать далее...
3. Перевод слова pianoPiano — фортепьяно, пианино Перевод слова Piano pedal — педаль фортепиано piano player — пианист piano quartet — фортепьянный квартет He sang and she accompanied him on the Piano. Он пел, а она аккомпанировала ему на фортепьяно. The Piano is out of tune. Пианино расстроено. My kid sister plays Piano. Моя маленькая сестренка играет на ... Читать далее...
4. Перевод слова easternEastern — восточный Перевод слова Far Eastern — дальневосточный eastern countries — страны Востока Eastern Europe — Восточная Европа She specializes in Near Eastern history. Она специализируется в ближневосточной истории. The plane flew along the Eastern coastline. Самолет летел вдоль Восточного побережья. She aimed at a point in the Eastern sky. Она нацелилась на точку ... Читать далее...
5. Lawyers as lab ratsThe National Institute of Health (NIH) announced last week that they were going to start using lawyers instead of rats in their experiments. Naturally, the American Bar Association was outraged and filed suit. Yet, the NIH presented some very good reasons for the switch. 1. The lab assistants were becoming very attached to their little ... Читать далее...
6. El delicatassenTower: «Eastern 702, cleared for takeoff, contact Departure on 124.7» Eastern 702: «Tower, Eastern 702 switching to Departure… by the way, as we lifted off we saw some kind of dead animal on the far end of the runway.» Tower: «Continental 635, cleared for takeoff, contact Departure on 124.7… did you copy the report from ... Читать далее...
7. An old occupationWhat happens when people of different occupations get old. — Old accountants never die, they just lose their balance. — Old actors never die, they just drop apart. — Old archers never die, they just bow and quiver. — Old architects never die, they just lose their structures. — Old bankers never die, they just ... Читать далее...
8. Financial Careers — Финансовая карьераWhat am I going to do after school or university? Maybe I should consider a job in the financial world. There’s a surprisingly wide range to choose from — for example, I could raise money for charities or sell famous paintings or write about economics as a financial journalist or run my own company or. ... Читать далее...
9. Question and answerQ: How can you tell if a lawyer is well hung? A: You can’t get a finger between the rope and his neck! Q: If you are stranded on a desert island with Adolph Hitler, Atilla the Hun, and a lawyer, and you have a gun with only two bullets, what do you do? A: ... Читать далее...
10. How to hunt elephants — Lawyers styleHow to hunt elephants — Lawyer’s style Lawyers don’t hunt elephants, but they do follow the herds around arguing about who owns the droppings. Software lawyers will claim that they own an entire herd based on the look and feel of one dropping. Sent by Alex...
11. A horny young man went to a brothelA horny young man went to a brothel… The lady at the counter asked him what his choice would be. The man wanted to know what was available. Madam, «On the first floor, we have the ex-models… they are all slinky and sexy… On the second floor, we have our ex-actresses…they are all buxom and ... Читать далее...
12. Значение идиомы moonshine[moonshine] {n.} Illegally distilled alcoholic beverage made athome, mostly on a farm. Grandpa is at it again in the barn, makingmoonshine out of plums....
13. History of lawyersWhy God Created Lawyers Satan was complaining bitterly to God, «You made the world so that it was not fair, and you made it so that most people would have to struggle every day, fight against their innate wishes and desires, and deal with all sorts of losses, grief, disasters, and catastrophes. Yet people worship ... Читать далее...
14. I wrote it!There was this guy walking down the road when he noticed a night club ahead. He went in, went up to the bar and asked for a drink. The bar owner, who was tending bar, said, «I’ve never seen you in her before.» The guy says, «Yes, I’m not from around here. I’m just passing ... Читать далее...
15. Holiday Party Festivity LevelsLevel I: Your guests are conversing quietly, nibbling at their hors d’oerves, and sipping their drinks. Later, some of the gather by the piano to sing carols while others admire the ornaments on your tree. Level II: Your guests are talking loudly, wolfing hors d’oerves, and drinking from the bottles. Some people gather by the ... Читать далее...
16. Being Physically StrongTakeshi: What do you want me to do with this Piano? Paula: I want you to move it from the living room to the family room. You’re As strong as an ox and that’s why I called you for help. Takeshi: Lucky me. I don’t think I can move that piano by myself, though. Paula: ... Читать далее...
17. Two drunks sitting at the rural area bar, lamentingTwo drunks sitting at the rural area bar, lamenting their lack of a sex life. One looks out the window, and across the road is a sheep stuck half way thru a fence, with its butt facing the tavern. One drunk says he sure wishes that sheep were Marilyn Monroe. The other says, «I just ... Читать далее...
18. Значение идиомы give up for[give up for] {v. phr.} To abandon hope for someone orsomething. After Larry had not returned to base camp for threenights, his fellow mountain climbers gave him up for dead....
19. Two drunks walk into a barTwo drunks walk into a bar. The first drunk looks at his buddy and says «I gotta go use the can.» So he wonders off to the bathroom and is gone for 5 … 10… 20 minutes. Well his friend gets pissed off and goes in to get him. He finds him in there and ... Читать далее...
20. Значение идиомы push on[push on] {v. phr.} To press forward; proceed forward laboriously. The exhausted mountain climbers pushed on, despite the roughweather, as the peak was already in sight....
21. There was a husband and his wife sitting next to a drunkThere was a husband and his wife sitting next to a drunk in a bar. Suddenly the drunk stands up and yells, «ATTENTION ALL» and farts loudly. The wife is extremely embarrassed, and the husband looks at the drunk and says» Excuse me, you just farted before my wife.» The drunks replies,» I’m sorry I ... Читать далее...
22. Значение идиомы hover over[hover over] {v. phr.} 1. To remain close or above. The rescuehelicopter was carefully hovering above the stranded rock climbers. 2. To watch over; supervise. «Mother!» Phillip cried, «if you don’tstop hovering over me, I’ll go bananas!»...
23. Значение идиомы social climber[social climber] {n.} A person who tries to mix with rich orwell-known people and be accepted by them as friends and equals. People do not like Mrs. Brown very well; she is known as a socialclimber. Social climbers are usually soon known and they are notaccepted by those they run after....
24. Rating Christmas partiesIf you threw a party, the worst thing you could have done was throw the kind of party where your guests, the next day, call you up to say they had a nice time. Now you’ll be expected to throw another great party next year. What you should have done was throw the kind of ... Читать далее...
25. Перевод идиомы behind the scenes, значение выражения и пример использованияИдиома: behind the scenes Перевод: за кулисами, тайно Пример: The diplomats worked behind the scenes to try and solve the crisis. Дипломаты работали за кулисами, пытаясь разрешить этот кризис....
26. Humor about St. Patrick’s DayPaddy was tooling along the road one fine day when the local policeman, a friend of his, pulled him over. «What’s wrong, Seamus?» Paddy asked. «Well didn’t ya know, Paddy, that your wife fell out of the car about five miles back?» said Seamus. «Ah, praise the Almighty!» Paddy replied with relief. «I thought I’d ... Читать далее...
27. Значение идиомы showgirl[showgirl] {n.} One who works as an entertainer in a bar ornightclub, musical show, etc. Several famous Hollywood starsactually started their careers as showgirls....
28. Значение идиомы canned heat[canned heat] {n.} Chemicals in a can which burn with a hot, smokeless flame. Some people use canned heat to keep food warm. The mountain climbers used canned heat for cooking....
29. On a very cold nightOn a very cold night, a young man dropped into the local brothel and the madam said, «You’ll have to wait.» «But there’s lots of girls that aren’t busy right now.» «Yes, but several of the rooms are closed for repairs.» «Listen, I’m pretty desperate. I don’t need a room.» So she takes his money ... Читать далее...
30. Discovering too late that aDiscovering too late that a watermelon spiked with vodka had accidentally been served to a luncheon meeting of local ministers, the restaurant’s owner waited nervously for the clerics’ reaction. «Quick, man,» he whispered to the waiter, «what did they say?» «Nothing,» replied the waiter. «They were all too busy slipping the seeds into their pockets.»...
31. PianoQ: What do you get when you drop a piano down a mine shaft? A: A flat minor. Q: What do you get if you run over an army officer with a steam roller? A: A flat major. Q: What do you say to an army officer as you’re about to run him or her ... Читать далее...
32. What dreams meanAfter she woke up, a woman told her husband, «I just dreamed that you gave me a pearl necklace for Valentine’s day. What do you think it means?» «You’ll know tonight.» he said. That evening, the man came home with a package and gave it to his wife. Delighted, she opened it — to find ... Читать далее...
33. Lawyers arrive in JapanSource: Sunday Daily Breeze Take heart, America. Three monkey wrenches have been thrown into Japan’s well-oiled economic machine. It’s only a mater of time before that powerful engine of productivity begins to sputter and fail. What could cause such a sharp turnaround? High interest rates? Increased unemployment? Lower productivity? No, it’s something much more economically ... Читать далее...
34. Too good to be trueA man walked into a bar with his alligator and asked the bartender «Do you serve lawyers here?» «Sure do,» replied the bartender. «Good,» said the customer, «Give me a beer, and I’ll have a lawyer for my gator.»...
35. Значение идиомы baby grand[baby grand] {n.} A small grand piano no longer than three feet, maximally four feet. This apartment can’t take a regular grand piano, so we’ll have to buy a baby grand....
36. Lawyers on a juryA trial had been scheduled in a small town, but the court clerk had forgotten to call in a jury panel. Rather than adjourning what he thought was an exceptionally simple case, the judge ordered his bailiff to go through the courthouse and round up enough people to form a jury. The bailiff returned with ... Читать далее...
37. Перевод слова corruptCorrupt — испорченный, порочный, коррумпированный Перевод слова Corrupt air — испорченный воздух corrupt judge — продажный судья corrupt desires — гнусные помыслы They say power Corrupts. Говорят, власть развращает. The file has been Corrupted and no longer works properly. Файл поврежден и не работает должным образом. The Corrupt lawyer was disbarred. Коррумпированный адвокат был лишен ... Читать далее...
38. Where lawers come fromAn anxious woman goes to her doctor. «Doctor,» she asks nervously, «can you get pregnant from anal intercourse?» «Certainly,» replies the doctor, «Where do you think lawyers come from?»...
39. A bowl of chiliA homeless man walks into a diner with enough change for a cup of coffee. Seated next to him at the counter, was a well-dressed man with a bowl of chili in front of him. A few minutes later, finishing his cup of coffee, the homeless man begins to notice that the stranger next to ... Читать далее...
40. The Council of EuropeТопик Совет Европы рассказывает о международной организации, содействующей сотрудничеству между ее членами, странами Европы, в области стандартов права, прав человека, демократического развития, законности и культурного взаимодействия. Будучи основанным в 1949 году, Совет Европы является старейшей в Европе международной организацией. В его состав входят 47 государств, в которых проживают более 800 млн. человек. Совет Европы является ... Читать далее...