Got something

Related topics:

1. A man went to the police station wishing to speakA man went to the police station wishing to speak with the burglar who had broken into his house the night before. «You’ll get your chance in court,» said the desk sergeant. «No, no, no!» said the man. «I want to know how he got into the house without waking my wife. I’ve been trying ... Читать далее...
2. Two mates are having a chat over a beerTwo mates are having a chat over a beer. «Do you like sheilas with bad body odour and bad breath?» one bloke asks his friend. «No way!» his mate replies. «Well,» says the first bloke, «do you like pussies you could hide a watermelon in?» «Fuck no!» his mate replies. «Well,» says the first bloke, ... Читать далее...
3. Mary went to Jill’s place to tell her about a horribleMary went to Jill’s place to tell her about a horrible experience she’d had the previous night with this bloke she brought home. «Well, what happened when you got there?» Jill asked «The bastard called me a slut!» Mary said. «And what did you do then?» Jill asked, shocked. «I told him to get the ... Читать далее...
4. While enjoying a drink with a mate one nightWhile enjoying a drink with a mate one night, this bloke decides to try his luck with an attractive young girl sitting alone by the bar. To his surprise, she asks him to join her for a drink and eventually asks him if he’d like to come back to her place. The pair jump into ... Читать далее...
5. A Burglar is in Big TroubleA burglar has just made it into the house he’s intending ransacking, and he’s looking around for stuff to steal. All of a sudden, a little voice pipes up, «I can see you, and so can Jesus!» Startled, the burglar looks around the room. No one there at all, so he goes back to his ... Читать далее...
6. Broken leg«How did it happen?» the doctor asked the middle-aged farmhand as he set the man’s broken leg. «Well, doc, 25 years ago…» «Never mind the past! Tell me how you broke your leg this morning.» «Like I was saying… 25 years ago, when I first started working on the farm, that night, right after I’d ... Читать далее...
7. A bloke wakes up in the middle of the nightA bloke wakes up in the middle of the night and rolls over and shoves an aspirin down his wife’s throat. All of a sudden she wakes up and yells, «What the fuck are you doing?» «Just giving you an aspirin for your headache.» The bloke answered. «But I ain’t got a headache,» she yelled ... Читать далее...
8. An old bloke in the Northern Territory was showingAn old bloke in the Northern Territory was showing some tourists how to top up a camel with water. «That way,» he said, «You get an extra day out of them between drinks.» As the camel bent down to drink, the bloke picked up two bricks and bashed them over the camel’s balls. The camel ... Читать далее...
9. It finally dawned«How did it happen?» the doctor asked the middle-aged farmhand as he set the man’s broken leg. «Well, doc, 25 years ago…» «Never mind the past. Tell me how you broke your leg this morning.» «Like I was saying…25 years ago, when I first started working on the farm, that night, right after I’d gone ... Читать далее...
10. Three guys were talking one morning about how drunk they wereThree guys were talking one morning about how drunk they were at this party they were at the night before. 1st guy: Man, I was so drunk that last night I got home and blew chunks. 2nd guy: Oh yeah? Well, I was so drunk that on the way home I was pulled over and ... Читать далее...
11. Three Irish women were discussing their respective matesCould this herald the return of our resident wise man, Cunning Lin Gus? Three Irish women were discussing their respective mates over tea. «I call my man ‘Eight,’ » said the first woman, «Because he’s got eight inches, and we do it eight times a day.» The second woman said in response, «I call my ... Читать далее...
12. There were these three blokes sitting on the high cliffsThere were these three blokes sitting on the high cliffs of a lonely beach, with a rope going down into the surf and a Chinaman frantically trying to climb up. While they were sitting there a Priest walks along, looks over and says, «God bless you children, that’s Christianity at work. May the lord bless ... Читать далее...
13. An old lady lived by herself in a small houseAn old lady lived by herself in a small house in a small town. One day she went to the local grocery store and while she was gone a criminal broke into her house, took her clothes off of the line, smashed the watermellons in her garden, shaved her cat and then left when he ... Читать далее...
14. Controlling your spouseThere were three guys talking in the pub. Two of them are talking about the amount of control they have over their wives, while the third remains quiet. After a while one of the first two turns to the third and says, «Well, what about you, what sort of control do you have over your ... Читать далее...
15. Expressing Bitter FeelingsLaurent: I’m Done with women! They’re Liars and Manipulators. Julie: Let me guess. You’ve had a bad Breakup? Laurent: It wasn’t just bad. It was Monumentally awful. I’m never going to date again. Julie: You’re just feeling Bitter right now, but you’ll Get over it. You won’t always feel so Jaded. Wait a second. Did ... Читать далее...
16. An army private went to see the Medical Captain for a newAn army private went to see the Medical Captain for a new pair of glasses. The Captain looked in his book of record and said, «But you just got a new pair last month!» «Yes sir, b.. b.. but I got them b..broken in an accident,» stammered the private. «Accident, what kind of an accident?» ... Читать далее...
17. Значение идиомы tooth[tooth] See: BY THE SKIN OF ONE’S TEETH, CUT TEETH or CUT EYETEETH, EYE FOR AN EYE AND A TOOTH FOR A TOOTH, FED TO THE GILLS or FED TO THETEETH, GET ONE’S TEETH INTO or SINK ONE’S TEETH INTO, KICK IN THEPANTS or KICK IN THE TEETH, PULL ONE’S TEETH, SET ONE’S TEETH ON ... Читать далее...
18. Значение идиомы break off[break off] {v.} 1. To stop suddenly. The speaker was interrupted so often that he broke off and sat down. When Bob came in, Jean broke off her talk with Linda and talked to Bob. 2. {informal} To end a friendship or love. I hear that Tom and Alice have broken off. She broke off ... Читать далее...
19. A yard saleA man was walking one day, when he came to this big house in a nice neighborhood. Suddenly he realized there was a couple making love out on the lawn. Then he noticed another couple over behind a tree. Then another couple behind some bushes by the house. He walked up to the door of ... Читать далее...
20. Перевод сленгового выражения bloke, значение и пример использованияСленговое выражение: bloke Сленговое выражение: bloke Перевод: парень, малый Пример: There’s some bloke asking for you. Тебя тут спрашивает какой-то малый....
21. Значение идиомы break into[break into] {v.} 1. To force an entrance into; make a rough or unlawful entrance into. Thieves broke into the store at night. 2. {informal} To succeed in beginning. He broke into television as an actor. 3. To interrupt. He broke into the discussion with a shout of warning. 4. To begin suddenly. He broke ... Читать далее...
22. Перевод слова pairPair — пара, парные предметы, чета Перевод слова A pair of candlesticks — пара подсвечников pair of gloves — пара перчаток pair of oars — лодка с двумя гребцами Just clear out, the Pair of you! А ну, убирайтесь, вы оба! The company is run by a Pair of brothers. Компанией управляют два брата. She ... Читать далее...
23. Jones is driving past the state mental hospitalJones is driving past the state mental hospital when his left rear tire suffers a flat. While Jones is changing the tire, another car goes by, running over the hub cap in which Jones was keeping the lug nuts. the nuts are all knocked into a nearby storm drain. Jones is at a loss for ... Читать далее...
24. A game of Animal FootballThe animals were bored. Finally, the lion had an idea. «I know a really exciting game that the humans play called football. I’ve seen it on T. V.» He proceeded to describe it to the rest of the animals and they all got excited about it so they decided to play. They went out to ... Читать далее...
25. Фразовый глагол break in (3) — перевод и значение, пример использованияФразовый глагол: break in (3) Перевод: вламываться, врываться, незаконно проникать Пример: The burglar broke in between midnight and 3 AM. Грабитель проник в дом между полуночью и 3 часами утра....
26. Значение идиомы pair up[pair up] {v.} 1. To make a pair of; match. When she finishedthe mending, she paired up the socks. 2. To form a pair; to be orbecome one of a pair. Not all the socks would pair up. Joepaired up with Charlie to work on the lesson....
27. A wife, arriving home from a shopping trip, was horrified toA wife, arriving home from a shopping trip, was horrified to find her husband in bed with a lovely young woman. Just as the wife was about to storm out of the house, her husband stopped her with these words: Before you leave, I want you to hear how this all came about. Driving along ... Читать далее...
28. Значение идиомы be nuts about[be nuts about] {v. phr.} To be enthusiastic or very keen about someone or something; be greatly infatuated with someone. Hermione is nuts about modern music. «I am nuts about you, Helen,» Jim said. «Please let’s get married!»...
29. Want some of this?Mongo’s old lady decided she wanted t do something special to please him on his birthday, so she bought a pair of crotchless panties. That night, as he came into the house, she lay sprawled on the couch spread-eagle. «Hi hon,» she purred sexily. «Y’all want some of this?» «Hell, no!» he hollered. «Look at ... Читать далее...
30. Значение идиомы cut teeth[cut teeth] {v. phr.} 1. To have teeth grow out through the gums. The baby was cross because he was cutting teeth. 2. or [cut eye teeth] {informal} To learn something very early in life; gain experience; start by learning or doing. — Used with a possessive, usually used with «on». The professional ball player ... Читать далее...
31. Having a Frightening ExperienceOliver: I had the most Hair-raising experience of my life this past weekend. Alena: What happened? Oliver: You know that George bought an old house, right? Well, he’s been telling us that it’s Haunted, so for a Lark, a few of us decided to spend the weekend there to see if we would have any ... Читать далее...
32. A cure for a headachePhil was at the bar one night, and complained about having a headache. «I’ve got a beaut cure for a headache,» said his mate Trev. «Whenever I have a headache I head home and I get my wife to give me a long, slow, wet blowjob. Never fails.» A week went by and they were ... Читать далее...
33. A fellow decides to take off early from workA fellow decides to take off early from work and go drinking. He stays until the bar closes at 2am, at which time he is extremely drunk. When he enters his house, he doesn’t want to wake anyone, so he takes off his shoes and starts tip-toeing up the stairs. Half-way up the stairs, he ... Читать далее...
34. Helping this countryOne night, Bill Clinton was awakened by George Washington’s ghost in the White House. Clinton saw him and asked, «George, what is the best thing I could do to help the country?» «Set an honest and honorable example, just as I did,» advised George. The next night, the ghost of Thomas Jefferson moved through the ... Читать далее...
35. Ghosts in a White HouseOne night Bill Clinton was awakened by George Washington’s ghost in the White House. «George, what is the best thing I could do to help the country?» Clinton asked. «Set an honest and honorable example, just as I did,» advised George. The next night the ghost of Thomas Jefferson moved through the dark bedroom. «Tom, ... Читать далее...
36. A fair offerOne day this fellow noticed that a new couple had moved into the house next door. He was also quick to notice that the woman liked to sunbathe in the back yard, usually in a skimpy bikini that showed off a magnificent pair of breasts. He made it a point to water and trim his ... Читать далее...
37. I know you were drunk yesterdayA fellow decides to take off early from work and go drinking. He stays until the bar closes at three in the morning, at which time he is extremely drunk. After leaving the bar, he returns home on foot. When he enters his house, he doesn’t want to wake anyone, so he takes off his ... Читать далее...
38. Seems that the traveling salesman was driving in the countrySeems that the traveling salesman was driving in the country and his car broke down. He hiked several miles to a farm house, and asked the farmer if there was a place he could stay over night. «Sure,» said the farmer, «my wife died several years ago, and my two daughters are 21 and 23 ... Читать далее...
39. Five fingersA beautiful young woman marries this seventy year old bloke for his money. On their wedding night she joyfully jumps into bed and he holds up five fingers. «Oh darling!» she squeals with delight, Does that mean five times?» «No», says the old fellow, «it means that you can pick one out.»...
40. Who Pays?David: Hey, Sally. Can I run something by you? Sally: Sure, what’s up? David: Well, A friend of a friend Wanted some help with her Taxes and we agreed that we would talk about it Over dinner. At the end of the night, when the Check came, she expected me to pay! It was really ... Читать далее...