Getting married

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1. Over the counter A middle aged man, about 5 foot 8 inches tall, walks into a Walmart and asks where the pharmacy counter is. He is directed to it. When he reaches it, he asks to see the pharmacist. The pharmacist comes and the man, looking around furtively, asks quietly, “Do you sell Viagra here?” The pharmacist answers […]...
2. Partial Dosage An elderly gentleman went to the local drug store and asked the pharmacist for Viagra. The pharmacist said “That’s no problem. How many do you want?” The man answered, “Just a few, maybe 4, but cut each one in 4 pieces.” The pharmacist said, “That won’t do you any good.” The elderly gentleman said, “That’s […]...
3. Consulting a Pharmacist Pharmacist: Can I help you? Sanaz: Yes, I had some questions for the Pharmacist. Pharmacist: I’m the pharmacist. How can I help you? Sanaz: Can I fill these Prescriptions here? Pharmacist: Yes, you can. Just give those to the Pharmacy technician and she’ll take care of you. Sanaz: The reason I ask is that I’m […]...
4. Rearranging Living Room Furniture Amy: I think Rearranging the furniture will make the Living room look more Spacious. Don’t you? Jacob: Uh, sure. Amy: Can you help me move this Couch against this wall? Jacob: Okay, but are you sure you want it over there? Because it’s really heavy and a pain to move. Amy: I’m sure. Let’s move […]...
5. A use for Viagra A man goes to visit his 85-year-old grandpa in the hospital. “How are you grandpa?” he asks. “Feeling fine,” says the old man. “What’s the food like?” “Terrific, wonderful menus.” “And the nursing?” “Just couldn’t be better. These young nurses really take care of you.” “What about sleeping? Do you sleep okay?” “No problem at […]...
6. This man got his prescription for Viagra This man got his prescription for Viagra, and goes home to get ready for when his wife gets home. He calls her on the phone, and says, “I’ll be home in an hour.” “Perfect,” she replies. The man thinks her agreement is because the Doctor told him to take his Viagra an hour before. He […]...
7. A customer walks into a pharmacy A customer walks into a pharmacy and asks assistant for an anal deodorant. The assistant explains that they don’t stock them. The man insists that he bought his last one from this store. The assistant passes man on to the pharmacist, who explains that store has never stocked such an item. The man explains he […]...
8. This redneck gets married, but on his wedding night This redneck gets married, but on his wedding night he doesn’t know what to do. He’s fumbling around for a while, but finally his wife gets fed up and says, “Jeb, ya big idiot! Yer s’pposed to take that thing you play with and put it where I pee!” …So he got his bowling bowl […]...
9. An old man of 70 married a young girl of 18 An old man of 70 married a young girl of 18. When they got into bed the night after the wedding, he held up three fingers. “Oh honey”, said the young nymph, “Does that mean we’re going to do it three times?” “No”, said the old man, “It means you can take your pick.”...
10. A Scottish private walks into the pharmacy A Scottish private walks into the pharmacy near his bases, pulls a beat-up, mutilated condom out of his pocket, and asks the pharmacist how much it would cost to repair the condom. The pharmacist replied that including replacing the band and spot welding the holes, it would cost 26 pence, but that for 29 pence, […]...
11. The people are waiting Upon returning to their car from a shopping tour, one of the young ladies realized that she had forgotten to stop at the pharmacy for her birth control pills. She rushed into the nearest pharmacy and gave her prescription to the pharmacist. “Please fill this immediately,” she asked. “I’ve got people waiting in my car!”...
12. This old man in his eighties got up and was putting on This old man in his eighties got up and was putting on his coat. His wife said, “Where are you going?” He said, “I’m going to the doctor.” And she said, “Why? Are you sick?” “No,” he said. “I’m going to get me some of those new Viagra pills.” So his wife got up out […]...
13. Jake is 85, and he gets married to a 16-year-old Jake is 85, and he gets married to a 16-year-old. He walks into the local bar when he gets back from his honeymoon, and all the guys want to hear about his wedding night. Jake says, “Well, when we got to the hotel, my youngest son carried me up the stairs, undressed me, and lifted […]...
14. A middle aged man and woman fall in love, and decide to get married A middle aged man and woman fall in love, and decide to get married. On their wedding night they settle into the bridal suite and the bride says to her new groom, “Please be gentle… I am still a virgin.” The startled groom says “How can that be? You’ve been married twice…” The bride responds… […]...
15. It just kills my appetite A woman asks her husband if he’d like some breakfast. “Would you like bacon and eggs, perhaps? A slice of toast? Grapefruit and coffee to follow?” she asks. He declines. “It’s this Viagra,” he says, “It’s really taken the edge off my appetite.” At lunchtime, she asks if he would like something. “A bowl of […]...
16. Значение идиомы variety store [variety store] {n.} A store that sells many different kinds ofthings, especially items that are fairly small and in everyday use. I went into a variety store and bought some paint. Five-and-tencent stores are a kind of variety store....
17. Prescription This woman walks into a pharmacy and asks the pharmacist for some arsenic. He asks “What for?” She says “I want to kill my husband”. He says “Sorry, I can’t do that.” She then reaches inter her handbag a pulls out a photo of her husband in bed with the pharmacist’s wife and hands it […]...
18. Перевод слова wedding Wedding – свадьба Перевод слова Church wedding – венчание members of the wedding – гости на свадьбе penny wedding – свадьба, устраиваемая гостями в складчину When is the Wedding to be? Когда будет свадьба? It’s a video of our Wedding. Это видео нашей свадьбы. He suddenly appeared at the Wedding. Он появился на свадьбе неожиданно....
19. A man walks into a pharmacy, buys a condom A man walks into a pharmacy, buys a condom, then walks out of the store laughing hysterically. The pharmacist thinks this is weird, but, hey, there’s no law preventing weird people from buying condoms. Maybe it’s a good thing. The next day, the man comes back to the store, purchases another condom, and once again […]...
20. Перевод слова memory Memory – память Перевод слова Chased on her memory – запечатлевшийся в ее памяти memory cleaning – очистка памяти irretention of memory – слабая память lapse of memory – провал памяти He has a long Memory. У него хорошая память. A word rings in my Memory. Мне все вспоминается одно слово. Alice’s Memory will live […]...
21. Having Doubts About Getting Married Charlotte: What are you doing in here? The entire Wedding party is looking for you. Chris: Yeah, I know. Charlotte: Well, what’s the matter? You’re not getting Cold feet, are you? Chris: That’s just it. I’m really having Doubts about getting married. What am I doing here? I think I’m about to make the biggest […]...
22. Диалог на английском языке с переводом “В аптеке (At the Pharmacy)” По-английски Перевод на русский Angela: Excuse me! Is there a pharmacy near here? Анжела: Простите! А здесь есть поблизости аптека? Passerby: Yes, there is. If you go down this street and then turn left, you’ll find one. Прохожий: Да. Если пройдете вниз по этой улице, а затем свернете налево, то там увидите ее. Angela: Thank […]...
23. Перевод слова medicine Medicine – медицина; лекарство, медикамент Перевод слова To study medicine – изучать медицину patent medicine – патентованное лекарство to take medicine – принимать лекарство folk medicine – народная медицина The Medicine had a bitter aftertaste. Лекарство имело горькое послевкусие. Has the Medicine acted? Лекарство уже подействовало? Take this Medicine after meals. Принимай это лекарство после […]...
24. A man comes to a doctor and A man comes to a doctor and, twitching his fingers and stuttering, finally manages to say, “Doctor, I have a sexual performance problem. Can you help me?” “Oh, that’s not a problem for us men anymore!” announces a proud physician, “They just came out with this new wonder drug, Viagra, that does the trick! You […]...
25. Sleeping on the job Things To Say If You Get Caught Sleeping At Your Desk 15. “They told me at the blood bank this might happen.” 14. “This is just a 15 minute power-nap like they raved about in the last time management course you sent me to.” 13. “Whew! Guess I left the top off the liquid paper” […]...
26. Перевод слова decision Decision – решение; решимость, твердость Перевод слова Official decision – официальное решение decision criterion – критерий выбора a man of decision – решительный человек Have you made a Decision? Вы приняли решение? I’ll stick with my Decision. Я буду действовать так, как считаю нужным. We made the Decision to accept their offer. Мы решили принять […]...
27. One day a lady went to the doctors office One day a lady went to the doctor’s office and told the doctor that her husband wasn’t interested in her any more he just wouldn’t have sex with her anymore. So the doctor went into the back of the shop and got a bottle of 100 pills. He told her that “if you give your […]...
28. Настоящее совершенное длительное время. Present Perfect Continuous Tense Способ образования Present Perfect Continuous Has / have + been + причастие настоящего времени Например: You Have been waiting here for two hours. Ты Ждешь здесь уже два часа. Have you Been waiting here for two hours? Ты Ждешь здесь уже два часа? You Have not been waiting here for two hours. Ты Не ждешь […]...
29. Delaying Making a Decision Thomas: You’ve Hemmed and hawed for weeks. It’s time to make a decision. Eugenia: I know, but I need To sleep on it. This is a very big decision. Thomas: You’ve Dragged your feet for far too long. Are you having Second thoughts? Eugenia: No, no second thoughts. I just want to be Absolutely sure […]...
30. Значение идиомы vicious circle [vicious circle] {n. phr.} A kind of circular or chain reaction inwhich one negative thing leads to another. Some people take so manydifferent kinds of medicine to cure an illness that they develop otherillnesses from the medicine and are thus caught in a vicious circle....
31. Understanding Addresses I was away from my office and needed to send some letters to clients. Unfortunately, I didn’t have their addresses, so I called the office secretary. Christina: Hi, Jacob. I need your help getting the Mailing addresses for a couple of clients. Jacob: Sure. Which ones? Christina: I need addresses for Jim Kelly and for […]...
32. Chain Letter Type III Hi there!! This chain letter has been in existence since 1897. This is absolutely incredible because there was no email then and probably not as many little 8 year olds writing chain letters. So this is how it works. Pass this on to 15,067 people in the next 7 minutes or something horrible will happen […]...
33. Перевод слова variety Variety – разнообразие, множество Перевод слова To deal in a variety of goods – иметь в продаже широкий ассортимент товаров variety of opinions – различные точки зрения variety of shapes – разнообразие форм Variety is the mother of enjoyment. Разнообразие – источник наслаждения. My life needs more Variety. Моей жизни нужно больше разнообразия. The lake […]...
34. One day there was an indian chief who was constipated One day there was an indian chief who was constipated. he sent one of his warriors to the witch doctor to get some medicine. The warrior says “Big Chief, no shit”. the doctor gave him 1 pill and told him that the chief should be fine tomorrow. The warrior went back to the chief and […]...
35. Math is turning bad “Psst, c’mere,” said the shifty-eyed man wearing a long black trenchcoat, as he beckoned me off the rainy street into a damp dark alley. I followed. “What are you selling?” I asked. “Geometrical algebra drugs.” “Huh!?” “Geometry drugs. Ya got your uppers, your downers, your sidewaysers, your inside-outers…” “Stop right there,” I interrupted. “I’ve never […]...
36. At the Pharmacy I went to the Drugstore down the street To fill a prescription at the Pharmacy. I have had some problems with my arm and the doctor prescribed for me a new Medication. I waited in line and when it was my turn, I handed the prescription to the Pharmacist. She told me to come back […]...
37. Перевод слова collective Collective – коллективный, совместный Перевод слова Collective behaviour – групповое поведение collective idea – собирательное понятие collective responsibility – коллективная ответственность It was a Collective decision. Это было общее решение. The incident became part of our Collective memory. Этот инцидент стал частью нашей коллективной памяти. We made a Collective decision to go on strike. Мы […]...
38. Planning a Wedding Seamus: What’s that? Cathy: It’s a planning book for our Wedding. Seamus: We aren’t getting married for a year and a half. Cathy: I know, but there are so many things to plan. We have to book the Hall far in advance, you know, and once we Set the date, we have to send out […]...
39. The Young Mans Big Mouth The Young Man’s Big Mouth A young man goes into a drug store to buy condoms. The pharmacist says the condoms come in packs of 3, 9 or 12 and asks which the young man wants. “Well,” he said, “I’ve been seeing this girl for a while and she’s really hot. I want the condoms […]...
40. Значение идиомы get something out of one’s system [get something out of one’s system] {v. phr.} 1. To eliminate somefood item or drug from one’s body. John will feel much better oncehe gets the addictive sleeping pills out of his system. 2. To freeoneself of yearning for something in order to liberate oneself from anunwanted preoccupation. Ted bought a new cabin cruiser that […]...