From the life of the insane

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1. Перевод слова insaneInsane — безумный, душевнобольной Перевод слова Insane person — психически ненормальное лицо he went insane — он лишился рассудка to rule insane — признать невменяемым She was Insane with jealousy. Она обезумела от ревности. She likes to drive at Insane speeds. Она любит погонять на безумной скорости. The doctors certified him Insane. Врачи признали его ... Читать далее...
2. Перевод слова asylumAsylum — убежище, защита Перевод слова Orphan asylum — сиротский приют asylum for the poor — богадельня mental asylum — психиатрическая клиника asylum state — государство, предоставляющее убежище He has been granted Asylum in France. Он получил убежище во Франции. He was committed to a lunatic Asylum Он был помещен в психиатрическую больницу. Интересные факты ... Читать далее...
3. Перевод идиомы drive someone crazy / drive someone mad / drive someone insane / drive someone nuts, значение выражения и пример использованияИдиома: drive someone crazy / drive someone mad / drive someone insane / drive someone nuts Перевод: сводить с ума; сильно злить, раздражать Пример: The sound of the wind howling drove me crazy. Завывание ветра сводило меня с ума. John’s girlfriend keeps driving him insane because she always asks him questions when he gets home ... Читать далее...
4. Death row sing alongThere was an inmate on death row, and he was scheduled to be put to death by firing squad the next morning. Throughout the day, the prison guards were being very nice to him. But when they asked him if he wanted something specific for his last meal, he didn’t want anything special. When they ... Читать далее...
5. What Not to Name Your DogEverybody has a dog called Rover or Spot. I call my dog «Sex». When I went to city hall to buy a licence I told the clerk I wanted a licence for Sex. He said «I’d like one too.» But then I said «This is a dog.» He said he didn’t care what she looked ... Читать далее...
6. A man was walking in the street when he heard a voiceA man was walking in the street when he heard a voice: «Stop! Stand still! If you take one more step, a brick will fall down on your head and kill you.» The man stopped and a big brick fell right in front of him. The man was astonished. He went on, and after awhile ... Читать далее...
7. Launch the missilesIt’s Friday night and President Bill is working late in the White House. Suddenly the big, red telephone on his desk rings. [President Bill] Hello! Hello! [Voice on the line] President Bill! We have a report that Boris Yeltsin just ordered the launch of all Russian missiles in a full-scale nuclear attack against the United ... Читать далее...
8. Top 12 Insane Stories From «Wrestler’s Court»Wrestler’s Court is a type of «kangaroo» court that was brought into the WWE by Zeb Colter as a way for two guys to settle any beefs that they may have with each other before things come to blows or get out of hand. It’s meant as a fun way for all the guys to ... Читать далее...
9. Collection 14I’ve hated your looks from the stare they gave me. Don’t you need a license to be that ugly? Moonlight becomes you — total darkness even more! Someone took a photo of you once, but it didn’t turn out. You could be seen too clearly. So you finally managed to get the last laugh [word]; ... Читать далее...
10. Types of ViewsAndrea: Help me decide on which type of hotel room To book. George: I want the one with a bed. Andrea: Very funny. We have a choice of different views, and each one is a different price. For instance, a room with a City view is $175 a night and a Panoramic view is $275 ... Читать далее...
11. Now he’s in troubleA police officer had just pulled a car over. When he walked up to the car a man rolled down the window and said, «what’s the problem officer?» To which the policeman responded, «I stopped you for running that red light behind you.» Just then the man’s wife leaned forward from the driver’s seat and ... Читать далее...
12. Значение идиомы at the top of one’s voice[at the top of one’s voice] or [at the top of one’s lungs] {adv. phr.} As loud as you can; with the greatest possible sound; very loudly. He was singing at the top of his voice. He shouted at the top of his lungs....
13. A famous hypnotist was performing in a large auditoriumA famous hypnotist was performing in a large auditorium full of students one night. He began to speak in a soft and steady voice over the loud-speaker system. «Listen to the sound of my voice…», he kept repeating, «the sound of my voice… every word is a command… the sound of my voice…» Pretty soon, ... Читать далее...
14. Little Gregory wakes up in the middle of the nightLittle Gregory wakes up in the middle of the night feeling alone and scared. He goes into his mother’s room for comfort and he sees his mom standing naked in front of the mirror. She is rubbing her chest and groaning, «I want a man, I want a man.» Shaking his head in bewilderment, Gregory ... Читать далее...
15. Recommending Someone for a JobHarry: I’ve Put in a good word for you with my boss. He said To stop by the store at 4:00 today and he’ll Interview you for the job. Judy: Okay, I think I can make it around 4:00. Harry: Not around 4:00. You need to be there at 4:00 Sharp, got that? I’m Sticking ... Читать далее...
16. The man at the bar, deep in private thoughts of his ownThe man at the bar, deep in private thoughts of his own, turned to a woman just passing and said, «Pardon me, miss, do you happen to have the time?» In a strident voice she responded, «How dare you make such a proposition to me?» The man snapped to attention in surprise and was uncomfortable ... Читать далее...
17. Interviewing crazyA man who had been in a mental home for some years finally seemed to have improved to the point where it was thought he might be released. The head of the institution, in a fit of commendable caution, decided, however, to interview him first. «Tell me,» said he, «if we release you, as we ... Читать далее...
18. Перевод слова voiceVoice — голос, способность петь; выражать Перевод слова The compass of a voice — диапазон голоса in a decided voice — твердым голосом to voice a desire — выражать пожелание I know this Voice! Я узнаю этот голос! Sh! Keep your Voice down! Тсс! Говорите потише! His Voice deepened. Его голос стал более глубоким....
19. An 18th-century vagabond in EnglandAn 18th-century vagabond in England, exhausted and famished, came to a roadside Inn with a sign reading: «George and the Dragon.» He knocked. The Innkeeper’s wife stuck her head out a window. «Could ye spare some victuals?» The woman glanced at his shabby, dirty clothes. «No!» she shouted. «Could I have a pint of ale?» ... Читать далее...
20. One summer evening during a violent thunderstormOne summer evening during a violent thunderstorm a mother was tucking her small boy into bed. She was about to turn off the light when he asked with a tremor in his voice, «Mommy, will you sleep with me tonight?» The mother smiled and gave him a reassuring hug. «I can’t dear,» she said. «I ... Читать далее...
21. George Costanza’s Tips for Working Hard VIAppear to Work Late. Always leave the office late, especially when the boss is still around. You could read magazines and storybooks that you always wanted to read but have no time until late before leaving. Make sure you walk past the boss’ room on your way out. Send important emails at unearthly hours (e. ... Читать далее...
22. Music is my lifeI love music, I think people can not live without it. The first thing I do in the morning I switch on my tape — recorder. We can hear music everywhere: in the streets, in the shops, on TV, over the radio, in the cars, in the parks, everywhere. I think it’s really doesn’t matter ... Читать далее...
23. Jokes About The Irishmen«Hey,» said a new arrival in the pub, «I’ve got some great Irish jokes.» «Before you start,» said the big bloke in the corner, «, I’m Irish.» «Don’t worry,» said the newcomer, «I’ll tell them slowly.» Two Irishmen were sitting in a four engined plane flying back from a shopping trip to Paris when the ... Читать далее...
24. They are stopped by the policeJohn & Jessica were on their way home from the bar one night and John got pulled over by the police. The officer told John that he was stopped because his tail light was burned out. John said, «I’m very sorry officer, I didn’t realize it was out, I’ll get it fixed right away.» Just ... Читать далее...
25. A man with a wooden eye was sitting at a barA man with a wooden eye was sitting at a bar one night. He glanced across the room and noticed a very attractive woman with just one flaw, she had a very large nose. He was very self concious about his eye but got up the nerve to ask her for a dance. «Would you ... Читать далее...
26. This rich couple were going out for the eveningThis rich couple were going out for the evening when the woman of the house decided to give the butler the rest of the night off. She said they would be home very late and he should just enjoy his night. Well, as it turned out the wife wasn’t having a good time at the ... Читать далее...
27. Humor about Drunk Irishmen 2Casey McCarthy had just arrived in New York City and was amazed at the enormity of everything. Having drunk a pint or two on the flight over, he sorely needed to relieve himself. The first door he entered happened to be a large health club, and he asked the clerk if he might use the ... Читать далее...
28. Who keeps saying those thingsA man walked in to a bar after a long day at work. As he began to drink his beer, he heard a voice say seductively «You’ve got great hair!» The man looked around but couldn’t see where the voice was coming from, so he went back to his beer. A minute later, he heard ... Читать далее...
29. A Jewish lady named Mrs. RosenbergA Jewish lady named Mrs. Rosenberg who many years ago was stranded late one night at a fashionable resort — one that did not admit Jews. The desk clerk looked down at his book and said, «Sorry, no room. The hotel is full.» The Jewish lady said, «But your sign says that you have vacancies.» ... Читать далее...
30. Ice fishingThis guy goes ice fishing, takes out an auger and starts drilling. LOUD VOICE FROM ABOVE: There’s no fish there. Guy goes to another spot and drills. LOUD VOICE FROM ABOVE: There’s no fish there, either. Guy tries a third spot. LOUD VOICE FROM ABOVE: Nope. Not there either. Guy, getting a little nervous: «Are ... Читать далее...
31. After putting her children to bed, a motherAfter putting her children to bed, a mother changed into old slacks and a droopy blouse and proceeded to wash her hair. As she heard the children getting more and more rambunctious, her patience grew thin. At last she threw a towel around her head and stormed into their room, putting them back to bed ... Читать далее...
32. This 60 year old woman was walking along 5th AvenueThis 60 year old woman was walking along 5th Avenue when she heard a voice from above «You will live to be 100.» She looked around and didn’t see anyone. Again she heard «You will live to be 100.» Boy, she thought to herself, that was the voice of God. I’ve got 40 more years ... Читать далее...
33. A state trooper pulled a car overA state trooper pulled a car over and told the man driving that he was going 50 mph in a 40 mph zone. «I was only going 40!» the driver protested. «Not according to my radar,» the trooper said. «Yes, I was!» the man shouted back. «No you weren’t!» the trooper said. With that, the ... Читать далее...
34. An elderly couple, still very loving after all these yearsAn elderly couple, still very loving after all these years, is shocked when the woman’s doctor says she has a heart condition that could kill her at any time. She is to avoid stress, eat right, and never, ever have sex again — the strain would be too much. The couple reluctantly try to live ... Читать далее...
35. A blonde decided that she was tired of her empty lifeA blonde decided that she was tired of her empty life. She cut her hair and dyed it brown, and set off for a drive. She wanted to do random acts of kindness to see if it would change her life. While driving through the countryside, she came across a farmer who was trying to ... Читать далее...
36. Landing at a hidden military baseYou’ve all heard of the Air Force’s ultra-high-security, super-secret base in Nevada, known simply as «Area 51?» Well, late one afternoon, the Air Force folks out at Area 51 were very surprised to see a Cessna landing at their «secret» base. They immediately impounded the aircraft and hauled the pilot into an interrogation room. The ... Читать далее...
37. A woman came to the psychiatrist worriedA woman came to the psychiatrist worried. «Doctor,» she said, «I can’t sleep at night. When I’m in the next room, I have this dreadful fear that I won’t hear the baby if he falls out of the crib at night. What should I do?» «Easy,» said the doctor. «Just take the carpet off the ... Читать далее...
38. A Good ListenerWoman: Hi, Long time no see. How have you been? Man: Oh, I’ve been fine, but I’m having some trouble with my son. Woman: Tell me all about it. Man: Oh, he’s 14 and in the past few months, he’s become quieter and a bit Secretive. He locks himself in his room and I think ... Читать далее...
39. Перевод идиомы night owl, значение выражения и пример использованияИдиома: night owl Перевод: сова; человек, которому нравится поздно ложиться Пример: My friend is a night owl and stays up late every night. Мой друг — сова, и каждую ночь он сидит допоздна....
40. Good fortuneA man walks along a lonely beach. Suddenly he hears a deep voice: DIG! He looks around: nobody’s there. I am having hallucinations, he thinks. Then he hears the voice again: I SAID, DIG! So he starts to dig in the sand with his bare hands, and after some inches, he finds a small chest ... Читать далее...