From one of Tom Clancy books

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1. Disprove this! A case for the Third Universal Cardinal Rule of Thumb: Never be absolute, unless absolutely necessary: A linguistics professor was lecturing to his class one day. “In English,” he said, “A double negative forms a positive. In some languages, though, such as Russian, a double negative is still a negative. However, there is no language […]...
2. Перевод слова negative Negative – отрицательный, негативный Перевод слова Negative answer – отрицательный ответ negative sign – знак минус negative evidence – отсутствие положительных доказательств negative influence – дурное влияние The feedback about the new product was all Negative. Отзыв о новом продукте был целиком негативный. The pregnancy test was Negative. Тест на беременность был отрицательным. A Negative […]...
3. Test for being drunk A police officer pulls over this guy who had been weaving in and out of the lanes. He goes up to the guy’s window and says, “Sir, I need you to blow into this breathalyzer tube.” The man says, “Sorry officer I can’t do that. I am an asthmatic. If I do that I’ll have […]...
4. A policeman pulls over a driver for swerving in and out A policeman pulls over a driver for swerving in and out of lanes on the highway. He tells the guy to blow a breath into a breathalyzer. “I can’t do that, officer.” “Why not?” “Because I’m an asthmatic. I could get an asthma attack if I blow into that tube.” “Okay, we’ll just get a […]...
5. Duties will be the same As a result of an internal investigation, one of the Duty Officer’s stunning, blonde staffers was transferred to an obscure base in Utah. The woman reported to her new Commanding Officer and handed him her orders. He glanced at them and said, “Well Private, your duties here will be pretty much the same as your […]...
6. Значение идиомы crew cut [crew cut] or [crew haircut] {n.} A boy’s or man’s hair style, cut so that the hair stands up in short, stiff bristle. Many boys like to get crew cuts during the summer to keep cooler....
7. The company sergent is briefing the recruits The company sergent is briefing the recruits: “For the next ten weeks the commanding officer will be your father, and I will be your mother. Incidentally we are not married, so you know what that makes you…”...
8. Fucking onion – boy, I need some onion – sorry, mam, we don’t have onion at the moment – I don’t care, I need some onion – but mam, we don’t have onion in the market right now – you don’t understand me, I need some onion – well, mam, lets check your english. How many letters […]...
9. NOTIFICATION TO ALL STAFF REGARDING LANGUAGE It has been brought to our attention that some individuals have been using foul language during the execution of their duties. Due to complaints from managers who are more easily offended, this type of language will no longer be tolerated. We do realise, however, the importance of staff being able to properly express their feelings […]...
10. Перевод слова crew Crew – судовая команда, экипаж Перевод слова Disreputable crew – дурная компания footplate crew – паровозная бригада trouble crew – аварийная команда How many go to a Crew with you, captain? Из скольких человек состоит ваша команда, капитан? The Crew was ordered to man the lifeboats. Команде было приказано занять места в шлюпках. One of […]...
11. Military work rules 1. Sickness: No excuses will be acceptable. We will no longer accept the Medical Officer’s statement as proof of illness as we believe that if you are able to go on sick parade, you are able to come to work. 2. Leave of Absence for an Operation: We are no longer allowing this practice. We […]...
12. Перевод слова attitude Attitude – позиция, отношение Перевод слова Attitude of mind – склад ума conscientious attitude – сознательное отношение lukewarm attitude – равнодушное отноше You need to change your bad Attitude. Вы должны изменить свое плохое отношение. His Attitude towards women really scares me. Его отношение к женщинам меня действительно пугает. His Attitude was forbidding. Он держал […]...
13. During an Army war game During an Army war game, a commanding officer’s jeep got stuck in the mud. The C. O. saw some men lounging around nearby and asked them to help him get unstuck. “Sorry sir,” said one of the loafers, “but we’ve been classified dead and the umpire said we couldn’t contribute in any way.” The C. […]...
14. Значение идиомы absent without leave [absent without leave ] {adj.} Absent without permission; used mostly in the military. Jack left Fort Sheridan without asking his commanding officer, and was punished for going AWOL....
15. Перевод слова positive Positive – положительный, несомненный Перевод слова Positive proof – несомненное доказательство positive influence – позитивное, положительное влияние positive reaction to a suggestion – положительная реакция на предложение Two Positive charges repel each other. Два положительных заряда отталкиваются друг от друга. ‘Think Positive!’ she advised herself. ‘Думай о хорошем!’ посоветовала она сама себе. The candidate projected […]...
16. Книги/ Books На английском языке Перевод на русский язык Books Книги Books play a very important role in my life. I think that modern life is impossible without reading. The more I read, the more knowledge and experience I get. I can’t say that all books are useful. Some are boring and pointless. I like both fiction […]...
17. A hearty breakfast A man goes into a greasy spoon-type cafe and he says, “I would like one of your special full English breakfasts”. “No problem.” Comes the greasy little fat girls reply from behind the counter. “But I want it MY way.” says the man. “What do you mean your way?” comes the reply. The man says, […]...
18. Перевод слова officer Officer – офицер, чиновник, должностное лицо Перевод слова Assistant officer – помощник должностного лица customs officer – таможенный чиновник non-combatant officer – офицер запаса flying control officer – диспетчер полетов The police Officer was directing traffic. Полицейский регулировал движение транспорта. No Officer was touched. Ни один офицер не был ранен. He is an Officer of […]...
19. Don’t say this to a cop The top 20 things not to say to a cop when he pulls you over. 20. I can’t reach my license unless you hold my beer. 19. Sorry officer, I didn’t realize my radar detector wasn’t plugged in. 18. Aren’t you the guy from the villiage people? 17. Hey, you must have been doing 125 […]...
20. A man is driving down the road for a long period of time A man is driving down the road for a long period of time. During his travel, he sees a priest with a gas can hitch hiking, so he gladly picks him up he says,”Normally father, i dont pick up hitch hikers. You seem like a man of dignity so i thought id make an exception. […]...
21. A blonde walks into the police department looking for a job A blonde walks into the police department looking for a job. The officer wants to ask her a few questions…. Officer: What’s 2+2? Blonde: Ummmmm… 4! Officer: What’s the square root of 100? Blonde: Ummmm… 10! Officer: Good! Now, who killed Abraham Lincoln? Blonde: Ummmm… I dunno. Officer: Well, you can go home and think […]...
22. Traditions A man and a woman got married, and he told her : ” since you are my wife you should respect my traditions and habits…and i have 3 traditions. So, first tradition: On wednesdays i play football with my friends…no matter what..whether it snows or it rains…i dont care..i play football!! -Is it clear for […]...
23. Time for the wedding A police officer stopped a motorist who was speeding down Main Street. “But officer,” the man began, “I can explain.” “Just be quiet,” snapped the officer. “I’m going to let you cool your heels in jail until the chief gets back.” “But, officer, I just wanted to say,” “And I said to keep quiet! You’re […]...
24. Too much speeding A police officer in a small town stopped a motorist who was speeding down Main Street. “But, officer,” the man began, “I can explain” “Just be quiet,” snapped the officer. “I’m going to let you cool your heels in jail until the chief gets back.” “But, officer, I just wanted to say” “And I said […]...
25. Chief is at a wedding A police officer in a small town stopped a motorist who was speeding down Main Street. “But officer,” the man began, “I can explain.” “Just be quiet,” snapped the officer. “I’m going to let you cool your heels in jail until the chief gets back.” “But, officer, I just wanted to say,” “And I said […]...
26. Bank Teller Bank Teller A middle aged man walks into the bank and says to the young teller, “I want to open a fucking checking account”. “Please sir”, she replies, “we can’t have language like that in here.” “Why the Fuck not?” he asked. “Sir,” Came her retort, “I must ask you to refrain from swearing.” “I […]...
27. During the World War II During the World War II, an American warship was attacked by the Japanese. A torpedo was heading towards the ship and a hit seemed inevitable. So the captain told the navigator to go down to the crew quarters and tell a joke or something – at least they would die laughing. The navigator went down […]...
28. Tarantino This guy comes into a bar walks to the bartender and says” Bartender, I got a bet for you. I’ll bet you $300 that I can piss into that glass over there and not spill a drop.” The bartender looks at the glass. It’s 3 meters away. He says……”You’re telling me you’ll bet me $300 […]...
29. Touring Washington A blonde was visiting Washington, DC for the first time. She wanted to see the Capitol building. Unfortunately, she couldn’t find it, so she asked a police officer for directions, “Excuse me, officer, how do I get to the Capitol building?” The officer replied, “Wait here at this bus stop for the number 54 bus. […]...
30. Collection 05 Yours was an unnatural birth; you came from a human being. You have nothing to fear from my base instincts; its my finer ones that tell me to kill you. It’s your life – but I wish you’d let us have it. Hey, act your age – senile! I’ve had many cases of love that […]...
31. Значение идиомы short [short] See: CAUGHT SHORT, FALL SHORT, FOR SHORT, IN BRIEF or INSHORT, IN SHORT ORDER, IN SHORT SUPPLY, MAKE SHORT WORK OF, RUN SHORT, SELL SHORT, THE LONG AND THE SHORT....
32. Equal positive integers Theorem: All positive integers are equal. Proof: Sufficient to show that for any two positive integers, A and B, A = B. Further, it is sufficient to show that for all N > 0, if A and B (positive integers) satisfy (MAX(A, B) = N) then A = B. Proceed by induction. If N = […]...
33. Reading Comic Books Lee: What are you reading? Stan: It’s a Graphic novel. Lee: Graphic novel? You mean a Comic book? I thought you were too old for that sort of thing. Stan: For your information, this is a graphic novel and it’s a Literary art form. Graphic novels are written for Mature audiences, not kids. Lee: Really? […]...
34. New FAA inspections With the number of airline disasters lately, the FAA now sends an inspector to the North Pole to check out Santa Claus’s sleigh before allowing him to fly on Christmas eve. The inspector arrives and checks the reindeer and they look good, he checks the harness and it looks okay, he checks the sleigh and […]...
35. Guitar Q: How do you make him stop playing? A: Put notes on it! Q: What did the guitar say to the guitarist? A: Pick on someone your own size! Q: What’s the definition of a minor second? A: Two lead guitarists playing in unison. Q: What do you call two guitarists playing in unison? A: […]...
36. Перевод слова check Check – проверять, сверять Перевод слова To check for errors – корректировать, исправлять to check an instrument – выверять прибор check ballot – проверочное голосование Hey, Check out that car! Эй, зацени, ту машину! Does his story Check out? Его рассказ подтверждается? Check your spelling and grammar. Проверьте орфографию и грамматику. Примеры из жизни На […]...
37. The fucking lights Tith the sun beginning to rise, the cabin of the jetliner was suddenly illuminated. “Who turned on the fucking lights?” a male passenger, who had been surly since boarding, snarled at a stewardess. The girl had had enough of this particular character. “These are the breakfast lights, sir,” she answered with forced sweetness. “The fucking […]...
38. Marriage quotes 11 My other wife is beautiful. My wife doesn’t care what I do away from home, as long as I don’t enjoy it. My wife has a split personality, and I hate both of them. My wife ran off with my best friend last week. I miss him! My wife says if I go fishing one […]...
39. Перевод слова hate Hate – ненавидеть, ненависть Перевод слова Steadfast hate – стойкая ненависть to hate hypocrisy – ненавидеть лицемерие hate each other cordially – ненавидеть друг друга лютой ненавистью He Hates his job. Он ненавидит свою работу. I Hate bargaining. Терпеть не могу торговаться. I’d Hate you to go. Я так не хочу, чтобы ты уходил. Интересные […]...
40. Red shirt Long ago, when sailing ships ruled the waves, a captain and his crew were in danger of being boarded by a pirate ship. As the crew became frantic, the captain bellowed to his First Mate, “Bring me my red shirt!” The First Mate quickly retrieved the captain’s red shirt, which the captain put on and […]...