Dumb Intercourse II

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1. Dumb intercourse«Information. Can I help you?» «I’d like the number of the Theater Guild, please.» «One moment, please.» Pause. «I’m sorry sir, I have no listing for a Theodore Guild.» «No, no. It isn’t a person. It’s an organization. It’s Theater Guild.» «I told you, sir. I have no listing for a Theodore Guild.» «Not *Theodore*! ... Читать далее...
2. Перевод слова operatorOperator — оператор Перевод слова Crane operator — оператор подъемного крана, крановщик ham operator — радиолюбитель, оператор любительской радиостанции tour operator — тур-оператор The Operator put my call right through. Телефонистка сразу же соединила меня. Reagan was a shrewd political Operator. Рейган был искусным политиком. Operator, please connect me with extension 123. Оператор, пожалуйста, соедините ... Читать далее...
3. Emily Sue passed away and Bubba called 911Emily Sue passed away and Bubba called 911. The 911 operator told Bubba that she would send someone out right away. «Where do you live?» asked the operator. Bubba replied, «At the end of Eucalyptus Drive.» The operator asked, «Can you spell that for me?» There was a long pause and finally Bubba said, «How ... Читать далее...
4. Fun with telemarketersWhat to say to a telemarketer! One of the things that has always bugged me (and I’m sure it has most of you, too) is to sit down to dinner only to be interrupted by a phone call from a telemarketer. I decided, on one such occasion, to try to be as irritating to them ... Читать далее...
5. Перевод слова spellSpell — заклинание, чары; произносить или писать по буквам Перевод слова Magic spell — магическая формула under a spell — зачарованный, находящийся под обаянием to spell from death in battle — заговорить от смерти в бою How do you Spell your name? Как пишется ваша фамилия? What word do these letters Spell? Какое слово образуют ... Читать далее...
6. An old Jewish man is talking long-distance to CaliforniaAn old Jewish man is talking long-distance to California when all of a sudden he gets cut off. He hollers, «Operator, giff me beck the party!» She says, «I’m sorry sir, you’ll have to make the call all over again.» He says, «What do you want from my life? Giff me beck da party.» She ... Читать далее...
7. Making an Emergency Medical CallOperator: Emergency operator. State your emergency. Dirk: We need an Ambulance right away. Operator: What is your name? Dirk: Dirk. Dirk Omora. Operator: Can you tell me what happened? Dirk: There was a Car accident. Operator: Where are you? Dirk: I’m not sure. I was driving in my car when I saw the Pileup. I’m ... Читать далее...
8. Business InsuranceCarson: What happened here?! Samantha: As you can see, there was an accident. Early this morning, a man driving along this street Lost control of his car and ran into the front window of our store. Luckily, no one was hurt. Carson: What are we going to do? We can’t open for business with this ... Читать далее...
9. Перевод слова insuranceInsurance — страхование Перевод слова Insurance against all risks — страхование от всех рисков insurance broker — страховой агент to cancel insurance — аннулировать страховой полис The Insurance business is built on trust. Страховочный бизнес основан на доверии. He is in Insurance. Он занимается страхованием. Our firm carries fire Insurance. У нашей фирмы есть страховой ... Читать далее...
10. Перевод слова dumbDumb — немой, бессловесный, глупый Перевод слова Dumb crambo — шарада-пантомима deaf and dumb from birth — глухонемой от рождения dumb brutes — бессловесные твари dumb bunny — глупец, дурак He’s kinda Dumb, isn’t he? Он отчасти глуповат, не так ли? What a Dumb question. Что за тупой вопрос. I was struck Dumb with astonishment ... Читать далее...
11. Larry’s barn burned down, and Susan, his wife, calledLarry’s barn burned down, and Susan, his wife, called the insurance company… Susan: We had that barn insured for fifty thousand and I want my money. Agent: Whoa there just a minute, Susan; it doesn’t work quite like that. We will ascertain the value of the old barn and provide you with a new one ... Читать далее...
12. Two Italian construction workersTwo Italian construction workers were in the field on an extremely hot day working.. the one says to the other «hey how come we do all a da work and he gets all a da money?» pointing to the supervisor. The other says, «I don’t know, go ask him.» So Guido goes up to the ... Читать далее...
13. A man walks into a Chinese restaurant but is toldA man walks into a Chinese restaurant but is told by the Maitre’d that there will be at least a twenty minute wait. «Would you like to wait in the bar, Sir?», he says. The man goes into the bar and the bartender says, «What’ll it be?» The man replies, «Give me a Stoli with ... Читать далее...
14. Перевод слова connectConnect — связывать, соединять Перевод слова To connect the two banks of a river by a bridge — соединить берега реки мостом to connect a TV set to an antenna — подключить телевизор к антенне connect time — продолжительность (сеанса) связи Are you Connected with this firm? У вас есть связи с этой фирмой? The ... Читать далее...
15. Selling war insuranceAirman Jones was assigned to the induction center where he was to advise new recruits about their government benefits, especially their GI insurance. It wasn’t long before Captain Smith noticed that Airman Jones had almost a 100% record for insurance sales, which had never happened before. Rather than ask about this, the Captain stood in ... Читать далее...
16. Buying Car InsuranceAgent: Hello, Krashit Insurance. Jackie: Hi, I wanted to get a Quote for car insurance. Agent: Sure, I can help you with that. I Assume you want Liability insurance, but what other Coverage would you like to get? Jackie: Umm…I’m not sure. This is my first car. Agent: In that case, let me make a ... Читать далее...
17. Nicolas Cage on Turning Down ‘Dumb & Dumber,’ Winning Another Oscar and the Movie that Made Him Change His NameWhile promoting «Ghost Rider: Spirit of Vengence,» the actor discussed his former friendship with Jim Carrey, and why he hated making «Fast Times At Ridgemont High.» Nicolas Cage may be known for his tough-guy roles in action films like Face/Off, Gone in Sixty Seconds and National Treasure. But, if things had gone differently, he may ... Читать далее...
18. Good sales strategyAirman Jones was assigned to the induction center, where he advised new recruits about their government benefits, especially their GI insurance. It wasn’t long before Captain Smith noticed that Airman Jones was having a staggeringly high success-rate, selling insurance to nearly 100% of the recruits he advised. Rather than asking him about this, the Captain ... Читать далее...
19. Smart decisionTwo gas company servicemen, a senior training supervisor and a young trainee, were out checking meters in a suburban neighborhood. They parked their truck the end of the alley and worked their way to the other end. At the last house a woman looking out her kitchen window watched the two men as they checked ... Читать далее...
20. Перевод слова minuteMinute — минута; мелкий Перевод слова Minute hand — минутная стрелка in a minute — скоро, прямо сейчас to measure very minute changes of temperature — измерять малейшие изменения температуры minute particles of dust — мельчайшие частицы пыли I’ll be back in a Minute. Я вернусь через минуту. Hey, wait a Minute! Эй, подождите минутку! ... Читать далее...
21. My friend is dead!Two hunters are out in the woods when one of them collapses. He doesn’t seem to be breathing and his eyes are glazed. The other man pulls out his phone and calls emergency services. He gasps to the operator: “My friend is dead! What can I do?” The operator in a calm, soothing voice replies: ... Читать далее...
22. Assigning Blame in a Car AccidentTarik: Are you okay? Stacey: Yeah, I think so. I’m just a little Shaken up, but look at my car! Tarik: Mine is in pretty bad shape, too. Good thing, though, it wasn’t Totaled. Stacey: Okay, let’s exchange Insurance information, so we can both get out of here. Tarik: Right. I’ll Put in a claim ... Читать далее...
23. A woman goes into the local newspaper office to seeA woman goes into the local newspaper office to see that the obituary for her recently deceased husband is published. After the editor informs her that the fee for the obituary is 50 cents a word, she pauses, reflects and then says, «Well, then, let it read ‘Fred Brown died’.» Confounded at the woman’s thrift, ... Читать далее...
24. Attempts by the dumbSIX DIE TRYING TO SAVE CHICKEN — August 1, 1995 CAIRO, Egypt (AP) — Six people drowned yesterday while trying to rescue a chicken that had fallen into a well in southern Egypt. An 18-year-old farmer was the first to descend into the 60-foot well. He drowned, apparently after an undercurrent in the water pulled ... Читать далее...
25. Blondes dumb?!?!?After many hours of extremely acrobatic and exhausting sex with a blonde he had just picked up, a man goes into the kitchen for some food to replenish his justspent energy. He pours himself a glass of milk and right before drinking it, he realizes his manhood is still pretty hot, so he sticks it ... Читать далее...
26. A lesson in ebonicsA sixth grade class is doing some spelling drills. The teacher asks Tommy if he can spell ‘before.’ He stands up and says, «Before, B-E-P-H-O-R.» The teacher says, «No, that’s wrong. Can anyone else spell before?» Another little boy stands up and says, «Before, B-E-F-O-O-R.» Again the teacher says, «No, that’s wrong.» The teacher asks, ... Читать далее...
27. New LumberjackA lumberjack new to the job had trouble meeting his quota. He worked as hard as he could, but still he could only chop down two or three trees in a day. His supervisor noticed this, and asked what was wrong. Maybe his chainsaw was broken. The supervisor turned it on, but it was working ... Читать далее...
28. Ultra dumb people 01The incredibly dumb AT&T fired President John Walter after nine months, saying he lacked intellectual leadership». He received a $26 million severance package. Perhaps it’s not Walter who’s lacking intelligence. Police in Oakland, California spent two hours attempting to subdue a gunman who had barricaded himself inside his home. After firing ten tear gas canisters, ... Читать далее...
29. Humor about Dumb IrishmenThe local District Judge had given the defendant a lecture on the evils of drink. But in view of the fact that this was the first time the man had been drunk and incapable, the case was dismissed on payment of ten shillings costs. «Now don’t let me ever see your face again,» said the ... Читать далее...
30. Jokes about Dumb IrishmenThe blind farmer was often taken for a walk in the fields by a kind neighbor. However kindly the neighbor might have been, he was undoubtedly a coward. When a bull charged towards them one day, he abandoned the blind man. The bull, puzzled by a lack of fear, nudged the farmer in the back. ... Читать далее...
31. Ultra dumb people 02A man walked in to a Topeka, Kansas Kwik Shop, and asked for all the money in the cash drawer. Apparently, the take was too small, so he tied up the store clerk and worked the counter himself for three hours until police showed up and grabbed him. In Ohio, an unidentified man in his ... Читать далее...
32. Driving a Company CarMichael: Shall we? Robin: Oh, this is nice. Did you get a new car? Michael: No, this is a Company car. Getting to drive one is one of the Perks of my new job. Robin: Does your new position Call for a lot of driving? Michael: It does. As the Regional supervisor, I have To ... Читать далее...
33. Перевод слова informationInformation — информация Перевод слова Classified information — засекреченная информация Information — «Справочное бюро» information processing — обработка данных to disperse information — распространять информацию He is a mine of Information. Он ходячая энциклопедия. Information was sluicing in. Информация тем не менее просачивалась. How did you come at the Information? Как вы это узнали? Происхождение ... Читать далее...
34. Значение идиомы hook up[hook up] {v. phr.} To connect or fit together. The company senta man to hook up the telephone. They could not use the gas stovebecause it had not been hooked up....
35. EarLittle Johnny was in a spelling bee in class. He had to spell the word and use it in a sentence. The teacher asked him to please spell the word EAR. Little Johnny stood up and proudly said EAR E, A, R. Then to use it in a sentence he pretended to take a big ... Читать далее...
36. Фразовый глагол spell out — перевод и значение, пример использованияФразовый глагол: spell out Перевод: объяснить что-либо очень подробно, чтобы смысл стал абсолютно ясен Пример: He’s so stupid that you have to spell everything our for him. Он такой глупый, что ему все нужно разжевывать....
37. Getting Through on the PhoneI have been trying to get a meeting with the CEO of Medofact to talk about a Partnership between our company and theirs. But I’ve had a hard time trying to Get through on the phone. First, there was the phone tree. I had to go through three Menus before I got the Option to ... Читать далее...
38. Your hair smells niceA man walks up to a woman in his office and tells her that her hair smells nice. The woman immediately goes into her supervisor’s office and tells him that she wants to file a sexual harassment suit and explains why. The supervisor is puzzled by this time and says, «What’s wrong with the coworker ... Читать далее...
39. Democrats on the front porchThis little old lady calls 911. When the operator answers she yells, «Help, send the police to my house right away! There’s a damn Democrat on my front porch and he’s playing with himself.» «What?» the operator exclaimed. «I said there is a damn Democrat on my front porch playing with himself and he’s weird; ... Читать далее...
40. Значение идиомы big-time[big-time] {adj.} Belonging to the top group; of the leading class; important. Jean won a talent contest in her home town, and only a year later she began dancing on big-time television. Bob practices boxing in the gym every day; he wants to become a big time boxer. — Often used in the phrase «big-time ... Читать далее...