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Collection 13

We know that you would give your life for us. Promise!

When you pass away and people ask me what the cause of your death was, I’ll say it was your stupidity.

Well, I’ll see you in my dreams — if I eat too much.

Hey, I remember you when you had only one stomach.

Anyone who told you to be yourself couldn’t have given you worse advice.

Let’s play horse. I’ll be the front end and you be yourself.

I’ll never forget the first time we met — although, I’ll keep trying.

You are not the worst person in the world, but until one worse comes along, you’ll do.

If I were as ugly as you are, I wouldn’t say hello, I’d say boo!

I feel sorry for you because you are so homely, but I feel even sorrier for other people because they have to look at you.

Yours is a prima facie case of ugliness. And your body is ugly, too.

I know one should judge a man by what he really is instead of by appearances, but you are REALLY ugly.



Диалог на собеседовании на английском с переводом.
Holidays and celebrations unite everybody for example.

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  1. Collection 05Yours was an unnatural birth; you came from a human being. You have nothing to fear from my base instincts; its my finer ones that tell me to kill you. It’s your life — but I wish you’d let us have it. Hey, act your age — senile! I’ve had many cases of love that ... Читать далее...
  2. Collection 01If you were orphaned when you were a child, I feel sorry for you, but not for your parents. If you don’t want to give people a bad name, you will have your children illegitimately. Is your name Laryngitis? You’re a pain in the neck. Is your name Dan Druff? You get into people’s hair. ... Читать далее...
  3. Collection 16At least you are not obnoxious like so many other people — you are obnoxious in a different and worse way! You have a lot of well-wishers. They would all like to throw you down one. You remind me of Moses. Every time you open your mouth, the bull rushes. They say that travel broadens ... Читать далее...
  4. Collection 10Why don’t you go to the library and brush up on your ignorance? I hear you changed your mind! What did you do with the diaper? You have an inferiority complex — and it’s fully justified. You are not as bad as people say — you are worse! Do you have to leave so soon? ... Читать далее...
  5. Collection 09ClassYou must have gotten up on the wrong side of the cage this morning. I would ask you how old you are, but I know you can’t count that high. In the next life, you’ll blaze a way for us. You are master in your own house — the doghouse! When you die, I’d like ... Читать далее...
  6. A profoundly ugly girl went to the psychiatristA profoundly ugly girl went to the psychiatrist. «My life is a mess, doctor,» she began, «I am so fucking hideous that no one will associate with me, touch me, or even talk to me. Can you help?» «Why, certainly! Helping people feel much better about themselves is my area of expertise. I can start ... Читать далее...
  7. Collection 14I’ve hated your looks from the stare they gave me. Don’t you need a license to be that ugly? Moonlight becomes you — total darkness even more! Someone took a photo of you once, but it didn’t turn out. You could be seen too clearly. So you finally managed to get the last laugh [word]; ... Читать далее...
  8. Going to a SpaJan: This is the life! Spending the day at a Spa is my idea of Paradise. Tim: Yeah, it’s great. Jan: Aren’t you enjoying yourself? Tim: The Massage was okay, but why do I have to get a Facial and a Body wrap? I’m a guy! Jan: Men need Rejuvenating, too. These are all Holistic ... Читать далее...
  9. Collection 15If you were a swine, you would be what you are now! You say that you are always bright and early. Well, OK!! We know you are early. A half-wit gave you a piece of his mind, and you held on to it. You’re nobody’s fool. Let’s see if we can get someone to adopt ... Читать далее...
  10. Перевод слова uglyUgly — уродливый, безобразный, противный Перевод слова Ugly clothes — некрасивая одежда ugly building — уродливое здание ugly habits — скверные привычки He has an Ugly disposition. У него отвратительный характер. Jealousy is an Ugly emotion. Ревность — это неприятное чувство. The prince was transformed into an Ugly animal. Принц был превращен в ужасного дикого ... Читать далее...
  11. Значение идиомы for better or worse[for better or worse] or [for better or for worse] {adv. phr.} 1.With good or bad effect, depending on how one looks at the matter. The historian did justice, for better or worse, to the careers ofseveral famous men. 2. Under any eventuality; forever; always. Alex and Masha decided to leave Moscow and come to ... Читать далее...
  12. Best kind of sexA man went to a sex doctor and told him of his extremely active sex life. He said He had a wife, several mistresses, masturbated, and had wet dreams all the time. The doctor asked which he liked best. He Replied, » Wet Dreams, you meet a much higher class of people in them.»...
  13. Collection 03Would you like to replace my business partner who died this morning? I’ll arrange it with the undertaker. People say that you are outspoken, but not by anyone that I know of. Your conversation is like the waves of the sea. It makes me sick! We can always tell when you are lying. Your lips ... Читать далее...
  14. Collection 08For two cents, I’d give you a piece of my mind — and all of yours. You are the only person I’ve ever met whose mind is filthy and sterile at the same time! You have no trouble making ends meet. Your foot is always in your mouth! I heard you went to see the ... Читать далее...
  15. Значение идиомы between life and death[between life and death] {adv. phr.} In danger of dying or being killed; with life or death possible. He held on to the mountain side between life and death while his friends went to get help. The little sick girl lay all night between life and death until her fever was gone....
  16. Chain Letter Type IVAs if you care, here is a poem that I wrote. Send it to every one of your friends. Friends — A friend is someone who is always at your side, — A friend is someone who likes you even though you smell like a wet dog, — A friend is someone who likes you ... Читать далее...
  17. Collection 02Even your best friend cheats on you and lies to you, and that’s the best friend you can get. I don’t think you are a fool. But then, what’s my own humble opinion against thousands of others? Nobody says that you are dumb. They just say you were sixteen years old before you learned how ... Читать далее...
  18. Some time ago Mr. Clinton was hosting a state dinnerSome time ago Mr. Clinton was hosting a state dinner when at the last minute his regular cook took ill and they had to get a replacement at short notice. The fellow arrived and turned out to be a very grubby looking man named Jon. The President voiced his concerns to his chief of staff ... Читать далее...
  19. Volunteer WorkSome people say that it’s Civic duty to «give back» to your community. That’s true but for me, I want to do some Volunteer work so that I can feel useful. I’ve been working at the same job for years and it’s not at all Rewarding. Yes, I Make good money, but I never feel ... Читать далее...
  20. Collection 12What’s the latest dope — besides you? I heard that they tried to take an X-ray picture of your jaw, but all they got was a moving picture. You don’t believe in being artificial. You want people to hate you for yourself. When people cut their fingers you cry over it just so that you ... Читать далее...
  21. Перевод слова promisePromise — обещание, обещать, подавать надежды Перевод слова To accomplish a promise — выполнить обещание to act up to a promise — сдержать обещание to go back on a promise — отказаться от обещания to break a promise — нарушить обещание I hate to break my Promise. Я ненавижу нарушать обещания. She gave me her ... Читать далее...
  22. Значение идиомы pass on[pass on] {v.} 1. To give an opinion about; judge; settle. Thecollege passed on his application and found him acceptable. Thecommittee recommended three people for the job and the presidentpassed on them. 2. To give away As he grew up, he passed on his clothes to his younger brother. Compare: HAND DOWN. 3. To die. ... Читать далее...
  23. A degree at Life UniversityA new two year degree is being offered at LIFE UNIVERSITY that many of you should be interested in: BECOMING A REAL MAN. That’s right, in just six quarters you, too, can be a real man, as well as earn an AA degree (AA Real Men). Please take a moment to look over the program ... Читать далее...
  24. Collection 07I hear you are a real humanitarian. You have kept three or four detectives working regularly. I hear you are connected to the Police Department — by a pair of handcuffs. Hello — tall, dark and obnoxious! You remind me of the ocean — you make me sick. You should have been born in the ... Читать далее...
  25. New Year’s ResolutionThis is the time of year when people make their New Year’s resolutions. At the beginning of a new year, people Take stock of their lives and decide to make some changes. A lot of people want To get into shape. They Vow to go to the Health club And Work out everyday. Many people ... Читать далее...
  26. Значение идиомы hand down[hand down] {v.} To arrange to give or leave after, death. Joewill have his father’s gold watch because it is handed down in thefamily. In old times, property was usually handed down to theoldest son at his father’s death. Compare: PASS ON....
  27. Hamlet’s soliloquyTo be, or not to be — that is the question: Whether ’tis nobler in the mind to suffer The slings and arrows of outrageous fortune, Or to take arms against a sea of troubles, And by opposing end them. To die, to sleep — No more, and by a sleep to say we end ... Читать далее...
  28. Значение идиомы go from bad to worse[go from bad to worse] {adv. phr.} To change from a bad position orcondition to a worse one; become worse. Dick’s typing went from badto worse when he was tired. Jack’s conduct in school has gone frombad to worse. Compare: OUT OF THE PRYING PAN INTO THE FIRE....
  29. A construction worker was whistlingA construction worker was whistling and verbally harassing a young girl as she walked by the construction site. She completely ignored him, and just kept on walking. Annoyed the worker yelled «Well you’re an ugly bitch anyway!» The girl turned around and replied «It must be terrible when even an ugly bitch won’t give you ... Читать далее...
  30. Перевод слова worseWorse — худший, хуже Перевод слова Much worse — намного хуже not a penny the worse — нисколько не хуже to take a turn for the worse — измениться к худшему Worse cannot happen. Ничего худшего не может случиться. He became a lot Worse. Ему стало намного хуже. If she’s Worse in the morning, I’ll ... Читать далее...
  31. Значение идиомы pass out[pass out] {v.}, {informal} 1. To lose consciousness; faint. Shewent back to work while she was still sick, and finally she justpassed out. Compare: GIVE OUT. 2. or {slang} [pass out cold] Todrop into a drunken stupor; become unconscious from drink. Afterthree drinks, the man passed out. 3. To die. Life came and wentweakly in ... Читать далее...
  32. Collection 04I heard you got a brain transplant and the brain rejected you! I think you should live for the moment. But after that, I doubt I’ll think so. Man alive! But I wish you weren’t. I believe in respect for the dead; in fact, I could only respect you if you WERE dead. Is your ... Читать далее...
  33. Значение идиомы pass over[pass over] or [pass by] {v.} To give no attention to; not notice;ignore, I can pass over the disorderliness of the troops, but theirdisobedience is serious. In choosing men to be given a salaryraise, the foreman passed Mr. Hart by. She was unattractive, thekind of a girl that everybody would pass by....
  34. Значение идиомы life[life] See: BETWEEN LIFE AND DEATH, BIG AS LIFE, CAT HAS NINELIVES, CHARMED LIFE, COME ALIVE OT COME TO LIFE, FACTS OF LIFE, FORDEAR LIFE, FOR THE LIFE OF ONE, LEAD A DOG’S LIFE, NIGHT LIFE, NOT ONYOUR LIFE OR ONE’S LIFE, TAKE ONE’S LIFE IN ONE’S HANDS, TIME OF ONE’SLIFE, YOU BET or YOU ... Читать далее...
  35. Keeping a high profile in an officeNever write a note or memo if you can phone or visit instead; everyone wants to talk whenever you’re ready. Don’t sit down to talk. The acoustics are better the higher you are, and remember that most people are a bit deaf so speak up louder! Try to talk with _at least_ three people between ... Читать далее...
  36. Значение идиомы ugly duckling[ugly duckling] {n.} An ugly or plain child who grows up to bepretty and attractive. Mary was the ugly duckling in her family, until she grew up....
  37. There are four basic types of chain letters: IThere are four basic types of chain letters: ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Chain Letter Type I Hello, and thank you for reading this letter. You see, there is a starving little boy in Baklaliviatatlaglooshen who as no arms, no legs, no parents, and no pecker. This little boy’s life could be saved, because for every time you pass ... Читать далее...
  38. Ru-RuTwo guys get stuck on a desert island. They are soon caught by the natives and brought to a village and put before the cheif. He says to the first guy,»As punishment for tresspassing I give you a choice, death or Ru Ru».Not wanting to die he picks Ru Ru. He is then beaten and ... Читать далее...
  39. Значение идиомы for the worse[for the worse] {adj. phr.} or {adv. phr.} For something that isworse or not as good, with a worse result. He bought a new car butit turned out to be for the worse. The sick man’s conditionchanged for the worse. Compare: TAKE A TURN. Contrast: FOR THEBETTER....
  40. Military work rules1. Sickness: No excuses will be acceptable. We will no longer accept the Medical Officer’s statement as proof of illness as we believe that if you are able to go on sick parade, you are able to come to work. 2. Leave of Absence for an Operation: We are no longer allowing this practice. We ... Читать далее...

Collection 13