Chemist’s last words

Related topics:

1. Seems this elderly couple went to the clinic Seems this elderly couple went to the clinic and asked to be tested for HIV. When the counselor asked why they felt that they should be tested at their age, the old man said,”Well, we heard on TV that people should be tested after annual sex!”...
2. Перевод слова protection Protection – защита, охрана, предохранение Перевод слова Employment protection – охрана труда rust protection – защита от коррозии protection software – программное обеспечение защиты They banded themselves together for Protection. Они объединились для защиты. Workers were provided with gloves for Protection. Работникам были предоставлены защитные перчатки. The members of parliament are still debating the Data […]...
3. The Mohel This woman is visiting in Israel and notices that her little travel alarm needs a battery. She looks for a watch repair shop and while she doesn’t read Hebrew she finally sees a shop with clocks and watches in the window. She goes in and hands the man her clock. The man says, “Madam, I […]...
4. Перевод слова alarm Alarm – тревога, сигнал тревоги; будильник Перевод слова To activate alarm – включить сигнал тревоги to set an alarm – дать сигнал тревоги to give the alarm – поднять тревогу false alarm – ложная тревога Did you set the Alarm? Ты завела будильник? The fire Alarm was reset. Пожарная сигнализация была сброшена. There is no […]...
5. Obamacare The phone rings and the lady of the house answers, “Hello?” “Mrs. Sanders, please.” “Speaking.” “Mrs. Sanders, this is Dr. Jones at St. Agnes Laboratory. When your husband’s doctor sent his biopsy to the lab last week, a biopsy from another Mr. Sanders arrived as well. We are now uncertain which one belongs to your […]...
6. You want children Are You Ready for Children? Mess Test: Smear peanut butter on the sofa and curtains. Now rub your hands in the wet flowerbed and rub on the walls. Cover the stains with crayons. Place a fish stick behind the couch and leave it there all summer. Toy Test: Obtain a 55-gallon box of Lego’s. (If […]...
7. Перевод слова constant Constant – неизменный, постоянный, беспрерывный Перевод слова Constant chatter – беспрерывная болтовня constant current – постоянный ток constant fever – неспадающий жар She experienced Constant pain. Она постоянно испытывала боль. He kept the car’s speed Constant. Он ехал с постоянной скоростью. Languages are in a Constant state of flux. Языки находятся в состоянии постоянного изменения. […]...
8. A few words of wisdom “I have a great diet. You’re allowed to eat anything you want, but you must eat it with naked fat people.” – Ed Bluestone “Have you ever noticed? Anybody going slower than you is an idiot, and anyone going faster than you is a moron.” – George Carlin “You have to stay in shape. My […]...
9. Four nuns arrived at the gates of heaven Four nuns arrived at the gates of heaven. St. Peter makes the inspection. The first one says:”I have to confess, I held mans penis in one hand.” St. Peter says:”You see the bowl of holy water, wash your hand and go in.” The second says:”I have to confess, I held mans penis in both hands.” […]...
10. St Peter is standing at the pearly gates one day An Australian joke… St Peter is standing at the pearly gates one day when a pair of Abo’s stroll up. “Your names aren’t on today’s list… let me go and ask the Boss” he says. In God’s office he tells the Big Man all about the two Abo’s, and God tells Peter to go and […]...
11. The young couple was engaged in a most affectionate The young couple was engaged in a most affectionate embrace when there came the sound of a key in the front door. The young lady broke away at once, eyes wide with alarm. “Heavens,” she cried, “it’s my husband! Quick, jump out the window.” The young man, equally alarmed, made a quick step toward the […]...
12. Значение идиомы make one’s mouth water [make one’s mouth water] {v. phr.} 1. To look or smell very good;make you want very much to eat or drink something you see or smell. The pies in the store window made Dan’s mouth water. The pictureof the ice cream soda made his mouth water. 2. To be attractive; makeyou want to have something […]...
13. A lawyer and the pope were both killed in an accident A lawyer and the pope were both killed in an accident. The two were in line to see St. Peter at the Pearly Gates. St. Peter asked the lawyer his name and looked it up in his book. He then asked the Pope for his name, and looked it up in his book also. “Now, […]...
14. You’re in the Desert 16 Ways of Knowing You’re in the Desert You no longer associate bridges (or rivers) with water. You can say 110 degrees without fainting. You eat hot chilies to cool your mouth off. You can make instant sun tea. You learn that a seat belt makes a pretty good branding iron. The temperature drops below […]...
15. A woman had some problems, so she went to her doctor A woman had some problems, so she went to her doctor of twenty years. They had the following conversation: Dr.: Take the red pill after breakfast with one glass of water. Woman: Ok. Dr: Take the blue pill after lunch with two glasses of water. Woman: Ok. Dr.: Take the yellow pill after dinner with […]...
16. Accountant in Heaven An accountant dies and goes to Heaven. He reaches the pearly gates and is amazed to see a happy crowd all waving banners and chanting his name. After a few minutes St. Peter comes running across and says, “I’m sorry I wasn’t here to greet you personally. God is looking forward to meeting such a […]...
17. Перевод слова test Test – тест, испытание, проверка Перевод слова Nuclear tests – ядерные испытания strength test – испытание на прочность test in arithmetic – контрольная работа по арифметике a severe test of character – серьезное испытание характера He was put to Test. Его подвергли испытанию. How difficult was the Test? Насколько сложным был тест? He tubed every […]...
18. Значение идиомы money to burn [money to burn] {n. phr.}, {informal} Very much money, more than isneeded. Dick’s uncle died and left him money to burn. When Joeis twenty-one he will have money to burn. Jean is looking for ahusband with money to burn. Compare: MADE OF MONEY....
19. Значение идиомы safety in numbers [safety in numbers] {n. phr.} Protection against trouble by beingin a group. Peter said, “Stay in a group; there is safety innumbers.”...
20. State of Kentucky 12th Grade Reading Test State of Kentucky 12th Grade Reading Test TEST #1 TEST #2 TEST #3 TEST #4 MR Ducks MR Snakes MR Farmers MR Mice MR Knot MR Knot MR Knot MR Knot SAR SAR SAR SAR CM Wangs CM BDI’s CMMT Pockets CMEDBD Feet LIB LIB LIB LIB MR Ducks MR Snakes MR Farmers MR Mice...
21. Qualifying for Heaven Recently a teacher, a garbage collector, and a lawyer wound up together at the Pearly Gates. St. Peter informed them that in order to get into Heaven, they would each have to answer one question. St. Peter addressed the teacher and asked, “What was the name of the ship that crashed into the iceberg? They […]...
22. A teacher, a garbage collector, and a lawyer wound up together at the Pearly Gates Recently a teacher, a garbage collector, and a lawyer wound up together at the Pearly Gates. St. Peter informed them that in order to get into Heaven, they would each have to answer one question. St. Peter addressed the teacher and asked, “What was the name of the ship that crashed into the iceberg? They […]...
23. Calling in Sick to Work I was Fed up with work and wanted the day off. I decided To call in sick. I wasn’t prepared, though, to be Peppered with questions. Peter: Hello, this is Peter. Is this Magda? Magda: Yes. This is Magda. Peter: Hi, Magda. I won’t be Coming in today. I’m Not feeling well. I think I’ve […]...
24. The Cesium song 05 Cesium (Burning in the Dead of Night) (Tune, Blackbird) Cesium burning in the dead of night. Take your sky blue lines and start to shine. All my life, I was only waiting for the moment you were mine. Cesium burning on a lake of ice. Lift your glorious flame up to the skies. All your […]...
25. Перевод слова burn Burn – гореть, сжигать, обжигать Перевод слова Burn ointment – мазь от ожогов to burn bridges behind one – сжигать за собой мосты to burn with hatred – гореть ненавистью I Burnt the toast. У меня тост подгорел. He has money to Burn. У него денег столько что ими камин топить можно. His rudeness made […]...
26. Lady Di is welcomed at the Pearly Gates by St. Peter Lady Di is welcomed at the Pearly Gates by St. Peter. Peter asks: “Oh dear, what happened to you?” Di answers: “I died in a car crash, but wait till you see my friend, he looks much worse”. Half an hour later Dodi shows up and St. Peter says: “My God, you look terrible.” Dodi […]...
27. The last words A teacher was asking her class what their fathers did. When she asked little Johnny, he said, “My father’s dead, Miss.” “Oh, I am sorry, Johnny. In that case, what did he do before he died?” “He went blue, held his chest and moaned aaaaarrrrrrggg, and collapsed.”...
28. New Words Each year, the Washington Post’s “Style Invitational” asks readers to take any word from the dictionary, alter it by adding, subtracting, or changing one letter, and supply a new definition. Here are the 2001 winners: Intaxication: Euphoria at getting a tax refund, which lasts until you realize it was your money to start with. Reintarnation: […]...
29. Marrying and divorcing in Heaven It seems that a devout, good couple was about to get married, but a tragic car accident ended their lives. When they got to heaven, they asked St. Peter if he could arrange for them to get married, saying that it was what they had hoped for in life, and they still desired wedded union. […]...
30. Dealing with a lawyer A new York Divorce Lawyer died and arrived at the pearly gates. Saint Peter asks him “What have you done to merit entrance into Heaven?” The Lawyer thought a moment, then said, “A week ago, I gave a quarter to a homeless person on the street.” Saint Peter asked Gabriel to check this out in […]...
31. Перевод слова wrong Wrong – неправильный, ошибочный, ложный Перевод слова In with the wrong crowd – в плохой компании the wrong way about – задом наперед to go the wrong way – идти не тем путем My watch is Wrong. Мои часы идут неправильно. I’m afraid you’re Wrong. Боюсь, вы ошибаетесь. They gave me the Wrong size. Они […]...
32. Перевод слова hijack Hijack – нападать с целью грабежа, отнимать Перевод слова To hijack goods from a truck – похитить товары из грузовика hijack alarm – противоугонная сигнализация aircraft hijack protection – защита воздушного судна от угона They Hijack an airliner. Они угнали пассажирский самолет. In a loud voice, tell him that this is a Hijack and that […]...
33. The modest man is in the hospital for a series of test The modest man is in the hospital for a series of test. One of the last test has left his system upset. Upon making several false alarms to the bathroom he decided the latest was another. He completely filled his bed up with human waste and was embarrased beyond anything he could possibly face. Losing […]...
34. Play on the words “Welcome to Entropy Burgers – may I take your order?” “I put in disorder a long time ago. The service here is getting worse all the time.” “My experience Gibbs me reason to believe you.” “I know the waitress who asked that, too. Her name’s Ellen Omega. She really made me thermally dynamic. So, I […]...
35. St. Peter meets Mother Theresa at the Gates Of Heaven St. Peter meets Mother Theresa at the Gates Of Heaven and says, “You were a good woman. I’m giving you a nice halo.” Mother Theresa is walking around Heaven when she sees Princess Di, and the Princess has a much bigger halo. Mother Theresa goes back to St. Peter and says, “St. Peter, I spent […]...
36. Clinton died and was standing at hte Pearly Gates Clinton died and was standing at hte Pearly Gates. After knocking at the gates, St. Peter appeared. “Who goes there?” inquired St. Peter. “‘It’s me, Bill Clinton.” “And what do you want?” asked St. Peter. “Lemme in!” replied Clinton. “Soooo,” pondered Peter. “What bad things did you do on earth?” Clinton thought a bit and […]...
37. Значение идиомы water [water] See: BLOOD IS THICKER THAN WATER, COME HELL OR HIGH WATER, DEEP WATER, FISH OUT OF WATER, GO THROUGH HELL AND HIGH WATER, HEADABOVE WATER, HOLD WATER, HELL AND HIGH WATER, HOT WATER, LIKE WATER, LIKE WATER OFF A DUCK’S BACK, MAKE ONE’S MOUTH WATER, OF THE FIRSTWATER, POUR OIL ON TROUBLED WATERS, THROW […]...
38. Chemistry song 07 Test Tubes Bubbling (to the tune of “Chestnuts Roasting On An Open Fire”) Test tubes bubbling in a water bath Strong smells nipping at ypur nose . Tiny molecules with their atoms all aglow Will find it hard to be inert tonight. They know that Chlorine’s on its way He’s loaded lots of little electrons […]...
39. Police chief hates you Ten Signs The Police Chief Hates You 10. He sends you on drug raids….alone. 9. He refers to you as “Our Little Mascot.” 8. The job description in your contract includes “crash test dummy” and “pepper-spray test subject.” 7. Instead of a gun, you were issued a water pistol. 6. He always tells you that […]...
40. It finally happened A man died and went to Heaven. After reaching the gates to Heaven the man was talking with Saint Peter and he asked, “I know I was good during my life, and I really appreciate being brought to Heaven, but I’m really curious… What does Hell look like?” So Saint Peter thought about it a […]...