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1. A marine general, an army general and a navy admiralA marine general, an army general and a navy admiral were discussing who had the toughest men. The army general says, «Alright, I’ll prove the army has the toughest men in the country. Private, get over here!» The private reports as ordered, «Yes sir?» The general says, «See that man over there? Kill him!» Without ... Читать далее...
2. Перевод слова marineMarine — морской Перевод слова Marine engineering — кораблестроение marine boiler — судовой котел marine cable — морской кабель He dishonored the uniform and did not deserve to be a Marine. Он опозорил честь мундира, и недостоин быть в рядах морской пехоты. Marine insurance is governed by a strict series of rules and regulations. Морское ... Читать далее...
3. What’s the definition of the perfect woman?Ok, I’m going to get a lot of hate mail for this one… What’s the definition of the perfect woman? She’s three feet tall, has a round hole for a mouth, and her head is flat so you can put a can on it. The sports model has pull back ears and her teeth fold ... Читать далее...
4. The wrong definitionWay down in the deep south, in an area known as the ‘Bible Belt,’ there lived a Baptist minister with a very large congregation. One morning, after a particularly moving sermon, he announced, «Friends I have been hearing very nasty rumors!» The crowd fell into an expectant silence. The Minister continued, «One of you, here ... Читать далее...
5. The young playboy took a blind date to an amusement parkThe young playboy took a blind date to an amusement park. They went for a ride on the Ferris wheel. The ride completed, she seemed rather bored. «What would you like to do next?» he asked. «I wanna be weighed,» she said. So the young man took her over to the weight guessed. «One-twelve,» said ... Читать далее...
6. The young playboy took a blind date to anThe young playboy took a blind date to an amusement park. They went for a ride on the Ferris wheel. The ride completed, she seemed rather bored. «What would you like to do next?» he asked. «I wanna be weighed,» she said. So the young man took her over to the weight guesser. «One-twelve,» said ... Читать далее...
7. Перевод слова uniformUniform — униформа; одноообразный, одинаковый Перевод слова Uniform life — однообразная жизнь a row of uniform houses — ряд совершенно одинаковых домов school uniform — школьная форма The Uniform fitted her perfectly. Униформа сидела на ней превосходно. Most soldiers are only boys in Uniform. Большинство солдат — всего лишь мальчишки в военной форме. Keep the ... Читать далее...
8. US Armed ForcesИз топика Вооруженные силы США вы узнаете о структуре американской армии, как государство обеспечивает своих военнослужащих, почему женщины стремятся наравне с мужчинами пройти военную службу и чем так привлекательна служба в армии для граждан США. The Armed Forces of the USA include the Army, Navy, Air Force, Marine Corps and Coast Guard. The regular components ... Читать далее...
9. Using the RestroomDenzel: Excuse me, where is the Restroom? Server: It’s down the hall, on your left. Denzel: Thanks. When I got into the bathroom, it was a Mess. I walked into a Stall and there was Toilet paper all over the floor. There were no Toilet seat covers and the Toilet wouldn’t Flush. Even the Toilet ... Читать далее...
10. Перевод слова bathroomBathroom — ванная комната, уборная Перевод слова Bathroom fitment — сантехника hog the bathroom — занять надолго ванную и никого туда не пускать bathroom pod — санкабина The Bathroom is occupied. Ванная занята. The Bathroom’s a bit chilly. В ванной комнате прохладно. The Bathroom is up the stairs. Ванная комната вверх по лестнице. Происхождение слова ... Читать далее...
11. A guy leaves his place at the bar to go have a pissA guy leaves his place at the bar to go have a piss. He comes back about 10 Minutes later, sits down at the bar, muttering & swearing very softly. The barkeep approaches the customer and asks what the problem is. «Oh some son-uv-a-bitch snuck up behind me while I was at the urinal and ... Читать далее...
12. During the Vietnam warDuring the Vietnam war, a Lieutenant asked a Marine why he was falling back during a really fierce battle. «Didn’t you hear me say that we’re outnumbered 4 to 1 ?» The Marine replied, «I got my four Sir.»...
13. You can come out nowJon was looking for a little «action». He picked up a sweet young thang at the bar and took her back to his hotel room. Little did he know she was damn near a nymphomaniac. After six times she was screaming for more. After the *eighth* time Jon told her that he needed to slip ... Читать далее...
14. Safe to appearDon was looking for a little «action.» He picked up a sweet young thang at the bar and took her back to his hotel room. Little did he know she was damn near a nymphomaniac. After six times, she was screaming for more. After the *eighth* time, Don told her that he needed to slip ... Читать далее...
15. A sailor and a marine are taking a pissA sailor and a marine are taking a piss at a public restroom. The marine finishes first and washes his hands. The sailor just walks to the exit. So the marine says to him: hey, in the marines they teach us to wash our hands after taking a piss. The sailor says: yeah well, in ... Читать далее...
16. A definition of GodA little boy was learning about God in his church, and he was talking to his mother about it. She, not wanting to place prejudice in the little boy’s mind, sat him and said: «God is not a man or a woman, and God is not black or white.» To which the child responded, «Well, ... Читать далее...
17. The definition of sexHillary and Chelsea were having a deep dish heart to heart talk about Chelsea’s college experiences. Hillary: So have you found dating to be fullflling experience? Chelsea: It’s okay..but i don’t like how the boys sometimes act like real sex hounds. Hillary: Well, uh, have you, uh, actually had sex? Chelsea: Well Mom, no, not ... Читать далее...
18. Definition of ProgrammerProgrammer: A person who passes as an exacting expert on the basis of being able to turn out, after innumberable poundings, an infinite series of incomprehensive answers calculated with micrometric precisions from vague assumptions based on debatable figures from inconclusive documents and carried out on instruments of problematical accuracy by persons of dubious reliability and ... Читать далее...
19. Значение идиомы head[head] See: ACID HEAD, BEAT INTO ONE’S HEAD, BEAT ONE’S HEADAGAINST A WALL, BIG HEAD, COUNT HEADS, EYES IN THE BACK OF ONE’S HEAD, FROM HEAD TO FOOT, GET THROUGH ONE’S HEAD, GOOD HEAD ON ONE’SSHOULDERS, GO TO ONE’S HEAD, HANG ONE’S HEAD, HAVE ONE’S HEAD IN THESAND, HAVE ROCKS IN ONE’S HEAD, HEAP COALS ... Читать далее...
20. Definition of Outdoor BarbecuingDefinition of Outdoor Barbecuing ——————————— It’s the only type of cooking a «real» man will do. When a man volunteers to do such cooking, the following chain of events is put into motion. (1) The woman goes to the store. (2) The woman fixes the salad, vegetables, and dessert. (3) The woman prepares the meat ... Читать далее...
21. The definition of a phallic symbolThis girl walks in to a doctors office and she asks «Whats a failic symbol? Doctor says «you’re kidding..» Girl says «no! I don’t know! Whats a failic symbol???» Doctor pulls his pants and underwear down and says «You see? This is a failic symbol!» Girl says «Oh! Its just like a penis, only smaller»...
22. Tribute to the MarinesA tribute to the United States Marine Corps and the reasons why they are superior to the many organizations of the world. . . * United States Marine Corps Birthday: 10 NOVEMBER 1775 * 1) Best haircut. Hands down. You can’t have a bad hair day with a high and tight. And you spend less ... Читать далее...
23. Excerpts from the rural lifeA farmer goes out one day and buys a brand new stud rooster for his chicken coop. The young rooster walks over to the old rooster and says «Ok, old fellow, time to retire.» The old rooster says «You can’t handle all these chickens….look at what it did to me!» The young rooster replies, «Now, ... Читать далее...
24. Recruiting any and all pilotsThe chief of staff of the US Air Force decided that he would personally intervene in the recruiting crisis affecting all of our armed services. He directed a nearby Air Force base that will be opened and that all eligible young men and women be invited. As he and his staff were standing near a ... Читать далее...
25. There is a guy from ARMY driving from West Point to the MeadowlandsThere’s a guy from ARMY driving from West Point to the Meadowlands, a guy from the NAVY was driving from Annapolis to the Meadowlands, and an Air Force guy who’s driving from McGwire in South Jerz to the Meadowlands just to watch the Jets. In the middle of the night with no other cars on ... Читать далее...
26. Перевод слова armyArmy — армия Перевод слова Army brass — командующий армией to organize an army — создать армию to raise an army — собрать армию I was an Army brat. Я была армия, брат. The Army was disranked. Армия была дезорганизована. The Army surged forward Армия рванулась вперед. Интересные факты In the Army Now — семнадцатый ... Читать далее...
27. Better than playing doctorLittle Johnny was sitting on the bench in the park. Suzie comes along chomping on her bubblegum. Suzie asked, «You wanna play doctor?» Johnny replied, «NO, that too old fashioned. Spit out you gum, I wanna play president.»...
28. Poor Rabbi!A young Jewish couple had only recently set up housekeeping when an unfortunate incident occurred. Early one morning, the wife, drowsy from bed, went to the toilet for the morning’s relief, and neglected to notice that the seat was up. When she sat, she kept going! She was just the right size and shape so ... Читать далее...
29. Wife-taming methodTwo married buddies are out drinking one night when one turns to the other and says, «You know, I don’t know what else to do. Whenever I go home after we’ve been out drinking, I turn the headlights off before I get to the driveway. I shut off the engine and coast into the garage. ... Читать далее...
30. Значение идиомы get it[get it] or [something in] or [into one’s head] {v. phr.} To becomepossessed of an idea; develop a fixed idea. Jack got it into hishead to become a marine and nothing we could say would make him changehis mind....
31. The Cesium song 11Cesium Glows (Tune, Love’s a Rose — Neil Young) Cesium glows, but you better not lick it, It’s fire grows when it’s on the tongue. Lips full of holes, you’ll know you’ve kissed it, Just take a bite if you want to die young. I want to see what’s never been seen, I want to ... Читать далее...
32. The new hooker had just finished her first trickThe new hooker had just finished her first trick. When she came back down to the street, the seasoned veterans all gathered around to hear the details. She said, «Well, he was a big, muscular and handsome marine.» «Well? What did he want to do?» they all asked. She said, «I told him that a ... Читать далее...
33. Giving Warnings and CautionsBrett: Hi, Mom. Come in. Welcome to my new place. My roommates aren’t here right now or I’d introduce you. Mom: Hi, dear. This is…uh…nice. Brett: It is, isn’t it? I know you were a little worried about me Moving out and into a house with five roommates. But as you can see, this is ... Читать далее...
34. Kiss meyeah!«Kiss me,» said the young lady urgently. «Please kiss me.» But the young man turned his head away, saying, «Of course not. How can I? I’m your own brother-in-law. Hell, we shouldn’t even be lying here making love.»...
35. Перевод слова definitionDefinition — определение; четкость, определенность Перевод слова Clear definition — ясное определение the definition of the term — определение термина bad definition — нечеткость изображения There is no generally accepted Definition of life. Нет единого общепринятого определения жизни. A week of fishing is my Definition of a vacation. Неделя рыбалки — это мое представление об ... Читать далее...
36. The Army Airborne major was used to harassmentThe Army Airborne major was used to harassment from Air Force fliers about crazy Army paratroopers jumping out of perfectly good aircraft. «Obviously the Air Force knows there’s no such thing as a ‘perfectly good aircraft,'» the irritated officer finally countered one afternoon, «because they pay you bastards four times as much to stay in ... Читать далее...
37. A husband emerged from the bathroom naked andA husband emerged from the bathroom naked and was climbing into bed when his wife complained, as usual, «I have a headache.» «Perfect» her husband said. «I was just in the bathroom powdering my penis with aspirin. You can take it orally or as a suppository,… it’s up to you!»...
38. Civil War Era humorCivil War Era Humor The following are supposedly true definitions, stories, and terms relating to the Civil War. BIGGEST MAN… The biggest man in the Union Army was Capt. David Van Buskirk of the 27th Indiana Regiment who stood 6 feet 11 inches and weighed 380 pounds. He was captured in 1862 and was sent ... Читать далее...
39. A man escapes from prisonA man escapes from prison where he has been for 15 years. He breaks into a house to look for money and guns and finds a young couple in bed. He orders the guy out of bed and ties him to a chair, while tying the girl to the bed he gets on top of ... Читать далее...
40. On their first night to be togetherOn their first night to be together, the newly wed couple go to change. The new bride comes out of the bathroom, all showered and wearing her beautiful robe. The proud husband says, «my dear, we are married now, you can open your robe.» The beautiful young woman opens her robe, and he is astonished. ... Читать далее...