Buckwheat Lets the Cat Outta the Bag

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1. While attending a spelling session in school one dayWhile attending a spelling session in school one day, The teacher asked if anyone could spell the word DUMB? Darla raises her hand and says «I can, I can» The teacher replies, «OK, go ahead Darla…» Darla replies…»D-U-M-B» The teacher replies, «very good», and «can you use that word in a sentence?» Darla replies, «Sure, ... Читать далее...
2. Перевод сленгового выражения outta here, значение и пример использованияСленговое выражение: outta here Перевод: фраза, означающая, что кто-либо уходит Пример: I’m outta here! See you next week! Я ухожу! Увидимся на следующей неделе!...
3. Why’d the monkey fall outta the tree?Why’d the monkey fall outta the tree? ’cause he was dead… Why’d the other monkey fall outta the tree? ’cause he was dead too… Why’d the third monkey fall outta the tree? Peer pressure…...
4. Beautiful — in a sentenceThe teacher says, «Children, today I will ask each of you to come to the front of the class and use a word in a sentence. Today’s word is «beautiful». Little Sally, would you please come up here and use «beautiful» in a sentence?» Little Sally walked to the front of the room, thought for ... Читать далее...
5. EarLittle Johnny was in a spelling bee in class. He had to spell the word and use it in a sentence. The teacher asked him to please spell the word EAR. Little Johnny stood up and proudly said EAR E, A, R. Then to use it in a sentence he pretended to take a big ... Читать далее...
6. A word playA teacher asked her students to use the word «fascinate» in a sentence. Mary said, «My family went to the New York City Zoo, and we saw all the animals. It was fascinating.» The teacher said, «That was good, but I wanted the word «‘fascinate.'» Sally raised her hand. She said, «My family went to ... Читать далее...
7. A first-grade teacher was overseeing her students asA first-grade teacher was overseeing her students as they experimented with their desk computers. One boy sat staring at the screen, unsure how to get the computer going. The teacher walked over and read what was on his screen. In her most reassuring voice, she said, «The computer wants to know what your name is,» ... Читать далее...
8. Question answer 01Where do religious school children practice sports? In the prayground! How did the basketball court get wet? The players dribbled all over it! Why did the chicken get sent off? For persistent fowl play! Why were the two managers sitting around sketching crockery before the start of the game? It was a cup draw! Where ... Читать далее...
9. Fucking onion— boy, I need some onion — sorry, mam, we don’t have onion at the moment — I don’t care, I need some onion — but mam, we don’t have onion in the market right now — you don’t understand me, I need some onion — well, mam, lets check your english. How many letters ... Читать далее...
10. HomecomingFall is once again Upon us, and that means that Homecoming celebrations are Just around the corner. Homecoming is an American tradition each September and October for high schools and colleges where they celebrate their School spirit with a football game and other celebrations. I remember the homecoming events when I was in school. First, ... Читать далее...
11. The homework scheduleHere is an explanation of the school homework policy for the average student. Students should not spend more than ninety minutes per night. This time should be budgeted in the following manner if the student desires to achieve moderate to good grades in his/her classes. 15 minutes looking for assignment. 11 minutes calling a friend ... Читать далее...
12. The real treasureAn 8 year old boy walks home from school each day past an 8 year old girls house. One day as he is passing by, carrying a football, he can’t resist taunting the girl. He holds up the football and says, «See this football? Football is a boys game, and only boys can have a ... Читать далее...
13. One day a teacher was teaching religionOne day a teacher was teaching religion, when she asked the class «What part of your body do you think goes up to heaven first?» Two children rose their hand. One was little Johnny. Hesitant to pick on him she chose little Mary. «I think your heart goes first because, that’s were your emotions of ... Читать далее...
14. Count till fiftyThe teacher walked into the classroom to find words like «cunt» and «cock» scrawled all over the blackboard. «Children,» she said, addressing the classroom, «you are much too young to use vile language like that. Now we’re all going to close our eyes and count up to fifty. Then, while our eyes are closed, I ... Читать далее...
15. Missed the word«Dad,» said the boy, «we had a spelling contest in school today, and I missed on the very first word.» «That’s too bad Son.» consoled the Father, «What was the word?» «Posse.»...
16. A little boy was excited about his first day at schoolA little boy was excited about his first day at school. So excited in fact, that only a few minutes after class started, he realized that he desperately needed to go to the bathroom. So he raised his hand politely to ask if he could be excused. Of course the teacher said yes, but asked ... Читать далее...
17. Значение идиомы word for word[word for word] {adv. phr.} In exactly the same words. Marycopied Sally’s composition word for word. Joan repeated theconversation word for word. She learned the poem many years agobut she recited it word for word....
18. Перевод слова footballFootball — футбол Перевод слова To play football — играть в футбол football match — футбольный матч football cup — розыгрыш кубка по футболу My son’s wild about Football. Мой сын просто без ума от футбола. The boys wanted to play Football. Ребята хотели играть в футбол. Dan’s crazy about Football. Дэн помешан на футболе. ... Читать далее...
19. Little Tommy is at the zoo on a school visitLittle Tommy is at the zoo on a school visit and he spots a deer. Being a city kid he’s never seen one before and so he asks his teacher, «What’s that, Miss?» Miss decides to play a word game with him and says, «That’s what your Daddy calls Mummy, Tommy.» Tommy thinks for a ... Читать далее...
20. Question answer 06What lights up a football stadium? A football match! If you have a referee in football, what do you have in bowls? Cornflakes! Why aren’t football stadiums built in outer space? Because there is no atmosphere! Where do spiders play their FA Cup final? Webley stadium! When fish play football, who is the captain? The ... Читать далее...
21. Strict schoolIt was the first day of school, and the elementary school teacher was establishing the fact that she’d take no nonsense from the kiddies this year. While taking the roll, she was told by one boy «My name is Johnny Fuckhauer». So she said «There’ll be none of that kind of thing this year, Johnny; ... Читать далее...
22. Drawing GodA kindergarten teacher was observing her classroom of children while they were drawing. She walked around to look at the artwork. As she got to one little girl who was working diligently, she asked what the drawing was. The girl replied, «I’m drawing God.» The teacher paused and said, «But no one knows what God ... Читать далее...
23. Animal stutteringLittle Johnny is sitting in a biology class, and the teacher says that an interesting phenomenon of nature is that only humans stutter, no other animal in the world does this. Johnny’s hand shoots up. «Not correct, Miss!» he says. «Please explain, Johnny,» replies the teacher. «Well, Miss, the other day I was playing with ... Читать далее...
24. Значение идиомы word[word] See: ACTIONS SPEAK LOUDER THAN WORDS, AS GOOD AS ONE’S WORD, BY WORD OF MOUTH, EAT ONE’S WORDS, FROM THE WORD «GO», GET A WORD IN, GET THE MESSAGE or GET THE WORD, HANG ON THE WORDS OF, IN BRIEF or INA WORD, IN SO MANY WORDS, LAST WORD, MAN OF FEW WORDS, MAN ... Читать далее...
25. Question answer 04What did the footballer say when he accidentally burped during a game? Sorry, it was a freak hic! Why are football grounds odd? Because you can sit in the stands but can’t stand in the sits! What do you get if you drop a piano on a team’s defence? A flat back four! Why did ... Читать далее...
26. Little Johnny was in class againLittle Johnny was in class again. Teacher asked everyone «Can anyone tell me a sentence with the word definitely in it?» Meg puts up her hand.»The sky is definitely blue.» «Thats not bad, Meg,» says the teacher, «but the sky can be grey or red.» Young Sally tried :»The grass is definitely green.» «Good try ... Читать далее...
27. Little Johnny walks into his primary schoolLittle Johnny walks into his primary school classroom one morning to be confronted by his teacher. Teacher «Ahh, Good Morning Johnny, and where were you yesterday?» Johnny «I’m sorry Miss, but my Grandad got burnt yesterday.» Teacher, «Was he burned very bad?» Johnny, «Yes Mam, they don’t fuck around at these crematoriums you know....
28. A little boy did not go to school one dayA little boy did not go to school one day. The next day when the teacher asked him why, he said «Our cow was on heat, so I had to take her to the Bull». «How disgusting» said the teacher «I am sure your father could have done that» «No ma’m, he couldn’t have» said ... Читать далее...
29. American and British schools — Американские и Британские школыIn America, all children from six to sixteen go to school. They spend six years in «elementary» school, and four or six years in «secondary» or «high» school. School education is free. At the end of every school year, the children take a test. If a child does well, he goes into next class («grade»). ... Читать далее...
30. One Sunday morning the pastor noticed little JohnnyOne Sunday morning the pastor noticed little Johnny was standing staring up at the large plaque that hung in the foyer of the church. The young man of seven had been staring at the plaque for some time, so the pastor walked up and stood beside him and gazing up at the plaque he said ... Читать далее...
31. Mrs. PrussyThe little darlings were all in their seats on the first day of school and their new teacher introduced herself. She wrote on the board that her name is Ms. Prussy and the day passed without any further incidents. The next morning after greeting the class she asked if anyone remembered her name and little ... Читать далее...
32. The Teacher tells the class they are going to play a gameThe Teacher tells the class they are going to play a game, she will describe an object and the students will tell her what she had described. Teacher: «The first object is Red, Round, and has a stem.» Timmy: » I know what it is, it’s an apple.» Teacher: «That’s right, I like the way ... Читать далее...
33. Значение идиомы spell out[spell out] {v.} 1. To say or read aloud the letters ot a word, oneby one; spell. John could not understand the word the teacher wassaying, so she spelled it out on the blackboard. 2. To read slowly, have trouble in understanding. The little boy spelled out theprinted words. 3. {informal} To explain something in ... Читать далее...
34. During WW II an American soldierDuring WW II an American soldier had been on the front lines in Europe for three months, when he was finally given a week of R&R. He caught a supply boat to a supply base in the south of England, then caught a train to London. The train was extremely crowded and he could not ... Читать далее...
35. A guy was sitting in a bar when a strangerA guy was sitting in a bar when a stranger walked up to him and asked, «If you woke up in the woods and scratched your butt and felt vasoline, would you tell anyone?» «Hell no!» the guy said. The stranger then asked, «If you felt further into your crack and pulled out a used ... Читать далее...
36. A boy comes home from school and tells his motherA boy comes home from school and tells his mother that he got a part in the school play. «What part?» the mother asked. «I play a Jewish husband,» the boy replied. «Go back to school and tell your teacher that you want a speaking role!»...
37. Значение идиомы stand out[stand out] {v.} 1. To go farther out than a nearby surface;protect. A mole stood out on her cheek. Compare: STICK OUT. 2.To be more noticeable in some way than those around you; be higher, bigger, or better. Fred was very tall and stood out in the crowd. John stood out as a track star....
38. Everything we needA young teacher was trying to teach her six-year-old charges about sharing. In the midst of doing so, she said that no one had everything they wanted. At this point, a young arm was energetically pumping at the back of the class. She tried to ignore him, but little Johnny started saying, «oh miss, oh ... Читать далее...
39. Picking a FightI was sitting at my local bar waiting for my friends to arrive to watch the game. Two guys sitting a few seats away kept giving me strange looks, and one of them said, “What are you looking at?” I looked around to make sure that he was speaking to me, and before I could ... Читать далее...
40. Question answer 07How do you stop squirrels playing football in the garden? Hide the ball, it drives them nuts! What’s tennis players favourite city? Volley wood! How does a physicist exercise? By pumping ion! Why does someone who runs marathons make a good student? Because education pays off in the long run! What is a runner’s favourite ... Читать далее...