An elderly couple, living apart

Related topics:

1. An elderly couple, still very loving after all these yearsAn elderly couple, still very loving after all these years, is shocked when the woman’s doctor says she has a heart condition that could kill her at any time. She is to avoid stress, eat right, and never, ever have sex again — the strain would be too much. The couple reluctantly try to live ... Читать далее...
2. Seems this elderly couple went to the clinicSeems this elderly couple went to the clinic and asked to be tested for HIV. When the counselor asked why they felt that they should be tested at their age, the old man said,»Well, we heard on TV that people should be tested after annual sex!»...
3. An elderly couple walk into a doctor officeAn elderly couple walk into a doctor’s office. The man tells the doctor, «Doctor, we want to have a baby.» The doctor replies,»At your age I don’t think it’s possible, but I’ll give you a jar, come back in a few days with a sperm sample.» So the couple comes back a few days later. ... Читать далее...
4. An elderly couple in a senior homeAn elderly couple in a senior’s home used to visit the recreation room everyday. While there, the old lady would sit quite contently holding the old guys’s penis. One day she goes down to the rec. room and is mortified to find her man with another women holding his penis. «What’s she got that I ... Читать далее...
5. The couple was dining out when the wife noticedThe couple was dining out when the wife noticed a familiar face at the bar. «Elliot,» she said, pointing «do you see that man downing bourbon at the bar?» The husband looked over and nodded. «Well,» the woman continued, «he’s been drinking like that for 10 years, ever since I jilted him!» The husband returned ... Читать далее...
6. An elderly man goes into a brothelAn elderly man goes into a brothel and tells the madam he would like a young girl for the night. Surprised, she looks at the ancient man and asks how old he is. «I’m 90 years old,» he says. «90!» replies the woman. «Don’t you realize you’ve had it?» «Oh, sorry,» says the old man, ... Читать далее...
7. After a couple of years a couple wanted to have childrenAfter a couple of years a couple wanted to have children, but nothing worked. So they went to a doctor, and got checked over. The doctor took time to reassure them. «Don’t worry,» he said, «Just take this sample bottle home and do the necessary, and bring it back tomorrow.» So he went home feeling ... Читать далее...
8. An elderly woman entered a large furniture storeAn elderly woman entered a large furniture store and was greeted by a much younger salesman. «Is there something in particular I can show you?» he asked. «Yes, I want to buy a sexual sofa.» «You mean a sectional sofa,» he suggested. «Sectional schmectional.» she bitterly retorted. «All I want is an occasional piece in ... Читать далее...
9. An elderly Yuppie boasted to his guests«Look at me.» an elderly Yuppie boasted to his guests at his birthday bash. «I’ve aged like a fine old carefully stored wine.» «I certainly have to agree with that.» piped-up his obviously long suffering wife. «Henry’s cork’s been stationary for years.»...
10. Перевод слова nonsenseNonsense — абсурд, глупости, чушь Перевод слова Nonsense! — вздор!, пустяки! to talk nonsense — говорить чепуху, городить вздор to cut the nonsense — пресекать вздор Her plan is rank Nonsense. Ее план — полная чушь. Stow that Nonsense! Брось эти глупости! You’re to stop that Nonsense, do you hear me? Прекрати нести эту чушь, ... Читать далее...
11. Перевод слова coupleCouple — пара, два, двое Перевод слова A couple of apples — два яблока in a couple of days — через два-три дня loving couple — любящая пара «Are they a Couple?»No, they are just good friends.» «Они пара?»Нет, они просто хорошие друзья.» They’re an odd Couple. Они странная парочка. We spent a Couple of ... Читать далее...
12. Living With a HoarderJulio: Mom, don’t you think it’s time To get rid of some of the stuff in this house? Mom: Why? This house is fine the way it is. Julio: There are parts of this house that are nearly Inaccessible. There are Stacks of magazines and bags and boxes everywhere. Mom: I need all that stuff. ... Читать далее...
13. Перевод слова livingLiving — жилой, живущий; средства к существованию Перевод слова Living languages — живые языки the greatest living poet — крупнейший из современных поэтов living conditions — жилищные условия to make an honest living — честным трудом зарабатывать на жизнь He made a Living wrangling horses. Он зарабатывал на жизнь выпасом лошадей. Father never talked about ... Читать далее...
14. Перевод слова living-roomLiving-room — гостиная, столовая, общая комната Перевод слова Living-room interview — интервью с имитацией домашних условий kitchen living room — кухня-столовая living room spaces — жилые помещения He squired them to the Living-room. Он проводил их в гостиную. When the Living-room door opened, he could hear the bath filling. Приоткрыв дверь гостиной, он услышал шум ... Читать далее...
15. A couple gets married, and thirty years later they’reA couple gets married, and thirty years later they’re in the same hotel, in the same room. She takes off all her clothes, lies back on the bed, and spreads her legs. Her husband starts to cry. She says, «What’s the matter?» He says, «Thirty years ago I couldn’t wait to eat it. Now it ... Читать далее...
16. An elderly patient needed a heart transplantAn elderly patient needed a heart transplant and discussed his options with his doctor. The doctor said, «We have 3 possible donors; the 1st is a young, healthy athlete who died in an automobile accident, the 2nd is a middle-aged businessman who never drank or smoked and who died flying his private jet. The 3rd ... Читать далее...
17. A couple married forty years were revisiting theA couple married forty years were revisiting the same places they went to on their honeymoon. Driving through the secluded countryside, they passed a ranch with a tall deer fence running along the road. The woman said, «Sweetheart, let’s do the same thing we did here forty years ago.» The guy stopped the car. His ... Читать далее...
18. Two elderly Southern women are sitting on the verandaTwo elderly Southern women are sitting on the veranda sipping lemonade and reminiscing about old times. One says to the other, «Darling, do you remember the minuet?» The other replies, «Sweetheart, I can’t even remember the ones I screwed!»...
19. Buying Car InsuranceAgent: Hello, Krashit Insurance. Jackie: Hi, I wanted to get a Quote for car insurance. Agent: Sure, I can help you with that. I Assume you want Liability insurance, but what other Coverage would you like to get? Jackie: Umm…I’m not sure. This is my first car. Agent: In that case, let me make a ... Читать далее...
20. There was an old married couple that had happilyThere was an old married couple that had happily lived together for nearly forty years. The only friction in their marriage was caused by the husband’s habit of breaking wind nearly every morning as he awoke. The noise would always wake up his wife and the smell would cause her eyes to water as she ... Читать далее...
21. A couple was delighted when finally their long wait to adoptA couple was delighted when finally their long wait to adopt a baby came to an end. The adoption center called and told them they had a wonderful Japanese baby boy, and the couple took him without hesitation. On the way home from the adoption center, they stopped by the local college so they each ... Читать далее...
22. Getting a Mortgage LoanKiko: Figuring out how to fill out this Mortgage loan application is like trying to read a foreign language. I don’t know what all these terms mean. Rafael: Let’s see if we can figure it out together. I think we want a Fixed-rate mortgage, not an Adjustable-rate mortgage. We want To lock in a good ... Читать далее...
23. A couple of geezers were sittingA couple of geezers were sitting on a bench outside the nursing home, having a little chat. «How are you, Tom?» asked Marvin. «I’m not feeling well today — utterly exhausted,» Tom replied. «I pulled a muscle and it’s killing me.» «That pulled muscle shouldn’t make you so tired, though.» «Well, it does if you ... Читать далее...
24. A couple, age 67, went to the doctors officeA couple, age 67, went to the doctor’s office. The doctor asked, «What can I do for you?» The man said, «Will you watch us have sexual intercourse?» The doctor looked puzzled, but agreed. When the couple finished, the doctor said, «There is nothing wrong with the way you have intercourse.» And he then charged ... Читать далее...
25. A young couple gets married, and the groomA young couple gets married, and the groom asks his bride if he can have a dresser drawer of his own that she will never open. The bride agrees. After 30 years of marriage, she notices that his drawer has been left ajar. She peeks in and sees 3 golf balls and $6,000. She confronts ... Читать далее...
26. This elderly woman passed a police van loading up the girlsThis elderly woman passed a police van loading up the girls from a local brothel, and as she passed by, she asked one girl what the lineup was for. the girl shrugged and said, jokingly, «cough drops» and snickered. Just then the cop approached the old gal and said, «What are you doing here, m’am?» ... Читать далее...
27. Значение идиомы make a living[make a living] {v. phr.} To earn one’s livelihood. If you’regood at your job, you can make a better living than if you don’t knowwhat you’re doing. It is easier to make a living in the UnitedStates than in many other countries....
28. Elderly romanceThere’s an elderly man and woman sitting in the sunroom of a retirement home. The old man says to the woman, «For five dollars, I’ll have sex with you on that rocking chair over there. For ten dollars, I’ll have sex with you on that couch. But for twenty dollars, I’ll take you to my ... Читать далее...
29. A couple have not been getting along for yearsA couple have not been getting along for years, so the husband thinks, «I’ll buy my wife a cemetery plot for her birthday.» Well, you can imagine her disappointment. The next year, her birthday rolls around again and this time he doesn’t get her anything. She says, «Why didn’t you get me a birthday present!?» ... Читать далее...
30. Three elderly men are at the doctor for a memory testThree elderly men are at the doctor for a memory test. The doctor says to the first man, «What is three times three?» «274,» was his reply. The doctor says to the second man, «It’s your turn. What is three times three?» «Tuesday,» replies the second man. The doctor says to the third man, «Okay, ... Читать далее...
31. Could be here soonerAn elderly couple were killed in an accident and found themselves being given a tour of heaven by Saint Peter. «Here is your oceanside condo, over there are the tennis courts, swimming pool, and two golf courses. If you need any refreshments, just stop by any of the many bars located throughout the area.» «Heck, ... Читать далее...
32. Значение идиомы knock the living daylights out of[knock the living daylights out of] {v. phr.}, {slang}, {informal}To render unconscious. The newsalmost knocked the living daylights out of me....
33. Three couples wanted to join a churchThree couples, an elderly couple, a middle aged couple and a young newlywed couple wanted to join a church. The pastor says, «We have special requirements for new parishioners. You must abstain from having sex for two weeks.» The couples agreed and came back at the end of two weeks. The pastor goes to the ... Читать далее...
34. Перевод идиомы every living soul, значение выражения и пример использованияИдиома: every living soul Перевод: все, каждый Пример: We gave a free newspaper to every living soul in the apartment building. Мы раздали бесплатные газеты всем в этом доме....
35. Значение идиомы stuff and nonsense[stuff and nonsense] {n.} Foolish or empty writing or talk;nonsense. Fred told a long story about his adventures in Africa, but it was all stuff and nonsense. Often used as an interjection. When Jane said she was too sick to go to school, her mother answered,»Stuff and nonsense! I know there’s a test today.»...
36. Перевод идиомы not a living soul, значение выражения и пример использованияИдиома: not a living soul Перевод: ни одна живая душа, никто Пример: There was not a living soul at the restaurant when I arrived early last night. Когда я вчера вечером пораньше пришел в ресторан, там не было ни души....
37. This fundamentalist Christian couple felt it important toThis fundamentalist Christian couple felt it important to own an equally fundamentally Christian pet. So, they went shopping. At a kennel specializing in this particular breed, they found a dog they liked quite a lot. When they asked the dog to fetch the Bible, he did it in a flash. When they instructed him to ... Читать далее...
38. Assigning Blame in a Car AccidentTarik: Are you okay? Stacey: Yeah, I think so. I’m just a little Shaken up, but look at my car! Tarik: Mine is in pretty bad shape, too. Good thing, though, it wasn’t Totaled. Stacey: Okay, let’s exchange Insurance information, so we can both get out of here. Tarik: Right. I’ll Put in a claim ... Читать далее...
39. Перевод идиомы make a living, значение выражения и пример использованияИдиома: make a living Перевод: зарабатывать на жизнь Пример: He cannot make a living by only doing a part-time job. Он не может зарабатывать себе на жизнь, работая на неполную ставку....
40. A college couple is under a tree on campus making outA college couple is under a tree on campus making out. After a while, the girl says, «I wish you had a flashlight.» He says, «Why’s that?» She says, «Because you’ve been eating grass for fifteen minutes.»...