After spending a night at a hotel with a prostitute

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1. Next time you think your hotel bill is too high you might want to consider thisHusband and wife are traveling by car from Key West to Boston After almost twenty-four hours on the road, They’re too tired to continue, and they decide to stop for a rest. They stop at a nice hotel and take a room, but they only plan to sleep for four hours and then get back ... Читать далее...
2. A man was looking for a cheap prostitute in a brothelA man was looking for a cheap prostitute in a brothel. He went up to the pimp, and asked him what he had. The pimp showed him a blonde whore for $50, but she was far too expensive. The pimp then showed him a brunette for $10, but she was also too expensive. Finally the ... Читать далее...
3. The hotel Astor had hired a new bus driverThe hotel Astor had hired a new bus driver and instructed him to meet all incoming trains and announce at the depot in a very loud voice, «Free bus to the hotel Astor!» On the way to the station on his first trip her kept repeating to himself, «Free bus to the hotel Astor, Free ... Читать далее...
4. A guy approaches a prostitute on the street and asks herA guy approaches a prostitute on the street and asks her, «how much?» she replies, «$100 if I lay down and $75 if I stand up.» He asks what the difference is, and she tells him, «it’s my hairdresser’s fee!»...
5. Перевод слова hotelHotel — гостиница, отель Перевод слова Hotel room — комната в гостинице hotel service — гостиничное обслуживание full hotel service — с полным обслуживанием (уборкой, бельем и т. п.) hotel bill — счет за проживание в гостинице We registered at a Hotel. Мы зарегистрировались в гостинице. Turn left after the Hotel. После отеля поверните налево. ... Читать далее...
6. A man and his wife go to their honeymoon hotel for their 25th anniversaryA man and his wife go to their honeymoon hotel for their 25th anniversary. As the couple reflected on that magical evening 25 years ago, the wife asked the husband, «When you first saw my naked body in front of you, what was going through your mind?» The husband replied, «All I wanted to do ... Читать далее...
7. Prostitute walks into a bar and asks the barmanProstitute walks into a bar and asks the bar man for two Bacardi’s and coke. Bar man serves her and notices that she drinks one and empties the other one down her panties. Now this happened another three times and the bar man was getting rather curious. The bar man nicely questions her and asks ... Читать далее...
8. A couple on their honeymoon woke up after their big nightA couple on their honeymoon woke up after their big night. The bride rolled over and said, «That was nice but tell me, what did my pussy look like before you rooted it?» The husband replied «Like a beautiful rose with drops of dew on it.» «That’s nice honey» she replied, «What did it look ... Читать далее...
9. A Mistake in the Hotel BillHotel clerk: Here’s the Bill for your four-night stay. Would you like the Incidentals charged to your credit card? May: Incidentals? I think there’s some mistake. I didn’t order any Pay-per-view movies and I never ordered room service. And, I didn’t have any Spa services, either. Hotel clerk: Are you sure? We show three movies ... Читать далее...
10. Значение идиомы spending money[spending money] or [pocket money] {n.} Money that is given to aperson to spend. When the seniors went to New York City on a trip, each was given $10 in spending money. Father gave John a nickel inpocket money when he went to the store with Mother....
11. Ending Excessive SpendingRaphael: Sorry to be a Buzzkill, but this Gravy train we’ve been on is about to end. Kelly: What do you mean? Raphael: There have been a lot of complaints about our department’s Spending on Extraneous things, and to Quell the masses, the Department head is making some major changes. Kelly: Like what? Raphael: Like ... Читать далее...
12. A prostitute goes to the hospital to visit a colleagueA prostitute goes to the hospital to visit a colleague who is about to have a heart transplant. She’s worried about the friend so she asks the doctor: Girlfriend: I’m worried about my friend doc, what if her body rejects the organ? Doctor: Well she’s 36 years old and healthy. How long has she been ... Читать далее...
13. On the night of a Halloween costume party a couple were havingOn the night of a Halloween costume party a couple were having trouble picking suitable outfits. After a while the wife got mad and stormed out of the room. Fifteen minutes later she came back completely naked execpt for a lemon between her legs. The husband looked at her for a moment and then stormed ... Читать далее...
14. Two dwarfs pick up two hookers and take them to their hotel roomsTwo dwarfs pick up two hookers and take them to their hotel rooms. The first dwarf not only can’t get a hard-on, but all night he has to listen to the other dwarf and the other hooker grunting «One, two three, uhh…one, two three, uhh…» In the morning, the second dwarf says to the first ... Читать далее...
15. Late one night, a mugger wearing a ski mask jumpedLate one night, a mugger wearing a ski mask jumped into the path of a well-dressed man and stuck a gun in his ribs. «Give me your money», he demanded. Indignant, the affluent man replied, «Hey, watch it — I’m a United States Congressman!» «In that case,» replied the mugger, «give me MY money.»...
16. At night court, a man was brought in and setAt night court, a man was brought in and set before the judge. The judge said, «State your name, occupation, and the charge.» The defendant said, «I’m Sparks, I’m an electrician, charged with battery.» The judge winced and said, «Bailiff! Put this man in a dry cell!»...
17. Schick is walking down the boardwalk in Atlantic CitySchick is walking down the boardwalk in Atlantic City, runs into a hooker, and he says, «How much?» She says, «Twenty bucks.» He says, «All right.» They climb down under the boardwalk, and he bangs her. The next night, he runs into the same hooker, they go under the boardwalk, only this time while he’s ... Читать далее...
18. A man finds himself staying in a Vegas hotel roomA man finds himself staying in a Vegas hotel room while on a business trip. Not wishing to be alone, he calls an «escort» service for some company. Soon, a strikingly beautiful hooker arrives. Without preamble the hooker says, «I want to tell you right up front, my minimum fee is $500, and that’s for ... Читать далее...
19. A Jewish lady named Mrs. RosenbergA Jewish lady named Mrs. Rosenberg who many years ago was stranded late one night at a fashionable resort — one that did not admit Jews. The desk clerk looked down at his book and said, «Sorry, no room. The hotel is full.» The Jewish lady said, «But your sign says that you have vacancies.» ... Читать далее...
20. Jones is checking out of a hotel when suddenly he has toJones is checking out of a hotel when suddenly he has to take a shit real bad. The toilet in his room isn’t working, so he bolts down to use the lobby Men’s Room, but all of the stalls are occupied, so he runs back up to his room, and in desperation, he drops his ... Читать далее...
21. Berkowitz is having a drink at his hotelBerkowitz is having a drink at his hotel when he spots a beautiful young woman at the other end of the bar. «Bartender,» he says, «give that lady whatever she likes, and put it on my tab.» When the drink is delivered, the woman gives Berkowitz a warm smile. A moment later he’s at her ... Читать далее...
22. Перевод слова nightNight — ночь Перевод слова A blusterous windy night — штормовая ветреная ночь a clear night — ясная, звездная ночь the cope of night — покров ночи day and night — круглосуточно He’s on Night duty. Он на ночном дежурстве. It poured all Night. Ливень шел всю ночь. He yawned good Night. Он, зевая, произнес: ... Читать далее...
23. Перевод идиомы the small hours (of the night / morning) / the wee hours (of the night / morning), значение выражения и пример использованияИдиома: the small hours (of the night / morning) / the wee hours (of the night / morning) Перевод: рассвет или время перед рассветом; часы после полуночи Пример: My father likes to read the newspaper in the small hours of the night. Моему отцу нравится читать газеты по ночам....
24. Perfect customerA man wrote a letter to a small hotel in a midwest town he planned to visit on his vacation. He wrote, «I would very much like to bring my dog with me. He is well groomed and very well behaved. Would you be willing to permit me to keep him in my room with ... Читать далее...
25. One night, an 87-year-old womanOne night, an 87-year-old woman came home from Bingo to find her husband in bed with another woman. Angry, she became violent and ended up pushing him off the balcony of their apartment, killing him instantly. When brought before the court on charges of murder, she was asked if she had anything to say to ... Читать далее...
26. Диалог на английском языке с переводом «В гостинице» (At a Hotel)At a Hotel George: Good morning! Clerk: Good morning! What can I do for you? George: We need a double room and a single room for two nights. Clerk: Just a moment, please. Well, we have a double room with bath and a single room with shower. George: How much are these rooms? Clerk: The ... Читать далее...
27. Перевод слова walletWallet — бумажник, кошелек Перевод слова The fatness of your wallet — толщина вашего кошелька cardboard wallet — картонный футляр leather wallet — кожаный бумажник Someone snitched my Wallet! Кто-то стащил мой кошелек! Oh nuts! I forgot my Wallet. Вот черт! Я кошелек забыл. Don’t leave home without your Wallet. Не выходи из дома без ... Читать далее...
28. The most evil thing«Cash, check or charge?» I asked after folding items the woman wished to purchase. As she fumbled for her wallet I notice a remote control for a television set in her purse. «Do you always carry your TV remote?» I asked. «No,» she replied. «But my husband refused to come shopping with me, so I ... Читать далее...
29. Перевод слова politicianPolitician — политик Перевод слова Credible politician — серьезный политик a dexterous politician — искусный политик discerning politician — проницательный политик He has the right qualities to be a Politician. Он обладает всеми качествами, необходимыми для политика. The Politician was hooted down. Громкие крики заставили политика умолкнуть. A Politician seeks a lot of exposure. Политик ... Читать далее...
30. This woman has her bridge club every Thursday nightThis woman has her bridge club every Thursday night and after a peaceful game or two with the ladies, she goes home to fix her husband dinner when he gets home from work. Well, one Thursday, she’s playing a great game and she has an incredible hand when she notices the time. «Oh, no! I ... Читать далее...
31. Значение идиомы day and night[day and night] or [night and day] {adv.} 1. For days without stopping; continually. Syn.: AROUND THE CLOCK. Some filling stations on great highways are open day and night 365 days a year. The three men took turns driving the truck, and they drove night and day for three days. 2. Every day and every ... Читать далее...
32. Значение идиомы night owl[night owl] {n. phr.} One who sleeps during the day and stays up orworks during the night. Tom hardly ever sleeps at night; he prefersto work by lamp light and has become a regular night owl. Compare:GRAVEYARD SHIFT....
33. Saving and Spending MoneyIn my family, there are Penny-pinchers and Spendthrifts, and Everything in between. My brother Frank has the Reputation for being Stingy with money. He likes To save up and only Spend when he has to. I bet he has a lot Stashed away. He’s Careful with money but he does spend it when he thinks ... Читать далее...
34. One night, a police officer was stalking out a particularly rowdy barOne night, a police officer was stalking out a particularly rowdy bar for possible violations of the driving-under-the — influence laws. At closing time, he saw a fellow stumble out of the bar, trip on the curb, and try his keys on five different cars before he found his. Then, sat in the front seat ... Читать далее...
35. The Mother Superior in the convent school was chatting withThe Mother Superior in the convent school was chatting with her young charges and she asked them what they wanted to be when they grew up. A twelve-year-old said, «I want to be a prostitute.» The Mother Superior fainted dead away on the spot. When they revived her, she raised her head from the ground ... Читать далее...
36. An ant and an elephant share a night of romanceAn ant and an elephant share a night of romance. Next morning the ant wakes up and the elephant is dead. «Damn», says the ant, «one night of passion and I spend the rest of my life digging a grave!»...
37. Hotel ReservationsI just finished a huge project at work and I needed some Down time. I decided to take a short vacation. I liked the idea of a long weekend out of town. My friend Sara offered to let me Crash at her place in San Francisco, but I decided to stay at a hotel instead. ... Читать далее...
38. Little Gregory wakes up in the middle of the nightLittle Gregory wakes up in the middle of the night feeling alone and scared. He goes into his mother’s room for comfort and he sees his mom standing naked in front of the mirror. She is rubbing her chest and groaning, «I want a man, I want a man.» Shaking his head in bewilderment, Gregory ... Читать далее...
39. Late one night, little Johnny woke up to the some loud noisesLate one night, little Johnny woke up to the some loud noises coming from his parents’ bedroom. He got out of bed and walked down the hall towards his parents room. Before he made it to the end of the hall, the noises had ceased and the bathroom light had gone on. Little Johnny walked ... Читать далее...
40. Forty years later, they’re in the same hotel roomForty years later, they’re in the same hotel room they spent their honeymoon in. She takes off her clothes, lies down on the bed, spreads her legs… Her husband looks at her and he begins to weep uncontrollably. She says, «What’s the matter?» He says, «Forty years ago, I couldn’t wait to eat it, and ... Читать далее...