A wise choice

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1. A farmer walked into an attorney officeA farmer walked into an attorney’s office wanting to file for a divorce. The attorney asked, «May I help you?» The farmer said, «Yea, I want to get one of those dayvorce’s.» The attorney said, «well do you have any grounds?» The farmer said, «Yea, I got about 140 acres.» The attorney said, » No, ... Читать далее...
2. The local courtroom was packed as testimony beganThe local courtroom was packed as testimony began in the sentencing hearing of a woman convicted of murdering her husband of 20 years by poisoning his coffee. The defense attorney knew he had his work cut out for him trying to make his client appear more sympathetic to the Judge, especially since she had been ... Читать далее...
3. Buying Car InsuranceAgent: Hello, Krashit Insurance. Jackie: Hi, I wanted to get a Quote for car insurance. Agent: Sure, I can help you with that. I Assume you want Liability insurance, but what other Coverage would you like to get? Jackie: Umm…I’m not sure. This is my first car. Agent: In that case, let me make a ... Читать далее...
4. The other day my house caught fireThe other day my house caught fire. The insurance agent said, «Shouldn’t be a problem. What kind of coverage do you have?» I said, «Fire and theft.» Insurance agent frowned. «Uh oh. Wrong kind. Should be fire OR theft.» Apparently, the only way I can make a claim with this coverage is if the house ... Читать далее...
5. Why lawyers should never ask a witness a questionWhy lawyers should never ask a witness a question if they aren’t prepared for the answer: In a trial, a Southern small town prosecuting attorney called his first witness to the stand — a grandmotherly, elderly woman. He approached her and asked, «Mrs.. Jones, do you know me?» She responded, «Why, yes I do know ... Читать далее...
6. Перевод слова agentAgent — агент, представитель Перевод слова Employment agent — агент по найму insurance agent — страховой агент enemy agent — вражеский лазутчик The actor’s Agent gets a 10 percent cut. Агент этого актера получает 10 процентов комиссии. She prospered as a real estate Agent. Она процветала в качестве агента по недвижимости. Every secret Agent has ... Читать далее...
7. Значение идиомы not to give quarter[not to give quarter] {v. phr.} 1. To be utterly unwilling to showmercy; not to allow a weaker or defeated party the chance to savethemselves through escape. The occupying foreign army gave noquarter — they took no prisoners, shot everyone, and made escapeimpossible. 2. To argue so forcefully during a negotiation or in acourt of ... Читать далее...
8. A city boy was visiting the country andA city boy was visiting the country and wanted to go hunting. The farmer lent the boy his gun, telling him not to kill any farm animals. The city boy headed off and soon after saw a goat. He managed to creep into range and finally shot it. Not knowing anything about animals, the boy ... Читать далее...
9. A tough case was being argued in courtA tough case was being argued in court. The defense attorney, feeling that he was in trouble, sent the judge a bottle of hundred-year old brandy. The defendant was fit to be tied. «The judge’ll kill me. Trying to bribe him! We’re dead!» «I don’t think so,» his attorney told him. «I sent it in ... Читать далее...
10. Assigning Blame in a Car AccidentTarik: Are you okay? Stacey: Yeah, I think so. I’m just a little Shaken up, but look at my car! Tarik: Mine is in pretty bad shape, too. Good thing, though, it wasn’t Totaled. Stacey: Okay, let’s exchange Insurance information, so we can both get out of here. Tarik: Right. I’ll Put in a claim ... Читать далее...
11. A blonde decided that she was tired of her empty lifeA blonde decided that she was tired of her empty life. She cut her hair and dyed it brown, and set off for a drive. She wanted to do random acts of kindness to see if it would change her life. While driving through the countryside, she came across a farmer who was trying to ... Читать далее...
12. John ConstableJohn Constable, one of the greatest landscape painters, was born in Sufford, on June 11, 1776. He was the son of a wealthy miller. He began to take interest in landscape painting while he was at grammar school. His father did not favour art as a profession. As a boy Constable worked almost secretly, painting ... Читать далее...
13. A life-long city man, tired of the rat raceA life-long city man, tired of the rat race, decided he was going to give up the city life, move to the country, and become a chicken farmer. He found a nice, used chicken farm, which he bought. Turns out that his next door neighbor was also a chicken farmer. The neighbor came for a ... Читать далее...
14. Trust a fellow officerA defense attorney was cross-examining a police officer during a felony trial — it went like this: Q: Officer, did you see my client fleeing the scene? A: No sir, but I subsequently observed a person matching the description of the offender running several blocks away. Q: Officer, who provided this description? A: The officer ... Читать далее...
15. Перевод слова farmerFarmer — фермер Перевод слова Cattle farmer — скотовод, владелец животноводческой фермы collective farmer — колхозник truck farmer — огородник They work for a Farmer. Они работают у фермера. The Farmer cut at the snake with a stick. Фермер ударил змею палкой. The Farmer hitched the cart to his best horse. Фермер впряг в телегу ... Читать далее...
16. A farmer had 3 beautiful daughters who wereA farmer had 3 beautiful daughters who were getting ready to go out on dates. The first beau came to the door and said, «I’m Eddie, I’m here to pick up Betty. We’re going for spaghetti, is she ready?» No. The second beau came to the door and said, «I’m Joe, I’m here to pick ... Читать далее...
17. Перевод слова insuranceInsurance — страхование Перевод слова Insurance against all risks — страхование от всех рисков insurance broker — страховой агент to cancel insurance — аннулировать страховой полис The Insurance business is built on trust. Страховочный бизнес основан на доверии. He is in Insurance. Он занимается страхованием. Our firm carries fire Insurance. У нашей фирмы есть страховой ... Читать далее...
18. Значение идиомы add insult to injury[add insult to injury] {v. phr.} 1. To hurt someone’s feelings after doing him harm. He added insult to injury when he called the man a rat after he had already beaten him up. 2. To make bad trouble worse. We started on a picnic, and first it rained, then to add insult to injury, ... Читать далее...
19. Перевод слова attorneyAttorney — поверенный, адвокат Перевод слова Attorney general — главный прокурор штата by attorney — по доверенности to obtain an attorney — получить адвоката You may need to retain an Attorney. Вам, возможно, потребуется нанять адвоката. Their brother was articled to an Attorney. Их брат стажировался у адвоката. I can give you the address of ... Читать далее...
20. Перевод слова defenseDefense — защита Перевод слова Defense mechanism — защитный механизм defense alliance — оборонительный альянс defense pact — договор о защите They mounted a good Defense. Они соорудили хорошую защиту. We need to improve our Defenses. Мы должны улучшить нашу оборону. The Defense called only one witness. Защита вызвала только одного свидетеля. Интересные факты Tower ... Читать далее...
21. Значение идиомы carry the day[carry the day] {v. phr.}, {informal} To win completely; to succeed in getting one’s aim accomplished. The defense attorney’s summary before the jury helped him carry the day....
22. Q & A Iraqi War JokesQ: What’s the national bird of Iraq? A: DUCK! — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — Q: What’s the fastest way to ... Читать далее...
23. Business InsuranceCarson: What happened here?! Samantha: As you can see, there was an accident. Early this morning, a man driving along this street Lost control of his car and ran into the front window of our store. Luckily, no one was hurt. Carson: What are we going to do? We can’t open for business with this ... Читать далее...
24. Back in the good ole days in TexasBack in the good ole days in Texas, when stage coaches and the like were popular, there were three people in a stage coach one day: a true red blooded born and raised Texas gentleman, a tenderfoot city slicker from back East, and a beautiful and well endowed Texas lady. The city slicker kept eyeing ... Читать далее...
25. A talking horseA travelling salesman stopped alongside a field on a country road to rest a few minutes. The man had just closed his eyes when a horse came to the fence and began to boast about his past. «Yes sir, I’m a fine horse. I’ve run in 25 races and won over??5 million. I keep my ... Читать далее...
26. Perot cornTwo farmers were talking at the general store. One farmer says to the other, «Did you hear about that new variety of corn called Perot corn?» The second farmer replies,»No I ain’t.» The first farmer says, «Yeah, it’s a big yielding variety. The stalk don’t grow too big, but the ears are tremendous!»...
27. Selling war insuranceAirman Jones was assigned to the induction center where he was to advise new recruits about their government benefits, especially their GI insurance. It wasn’t long before Captain Smith noticed that Airman Jones had almost a 100% record for insurance sales, which had never happened before. Rather than ask about this, the Captain stood in ... Читать далее...
28. Mike Mooney, a Yankee was driving through the southMike Mooney, a Yankee was driving through the south when he decided he wanted to buy a pig. He stopped at a pig farm and told the farmer he wanted to buy a 100 pound pig. The farmer nodded, walked out into the sty, bent over and picked up a pig by its tail with ... Читать далее...
29. You could Feed them a lot FasterThere was once a man from the city who was visiting a small farm, and during this visit he saw a farmer feeding pigs in a most extraordinary manner. The farmer would lift a pig up to a nearby apple tree, and the pig would eat the apples off the tree directly. The farmer would ... Читать далее...
30. A girl from Texas and a girl from New York were seatedA girl from Texas and a girl from New York were seated side by side on an airplane. The girl from Texas, being friendly and all, said: «So, where y’all from?» The New York girl said, «From a place where they know better than to use a preposition at the end of a sentence.» The ... Читать далее...
31. Travel with a horseAn out-of-towner drove his car into a ditch in a desolated area. Luckily, a local farmer came to help with his big strong horse named Buddy. He hitched Buddy up to the car and yelled, «Pull, Nellie, pull!» Buddy didn’t move. Then the farmer hollered, «Pull, Buster, pull!» Buddy didn’t respond. Once more the farmer ... Читать далее...
32. Good sales strategyAirman Jones was assigned to the induction center, where he advised new recruits about their government benefits, especially their GI insurance. It wasn’t long before Captain Smith noticed that Airman Jones was having a staggeringly high success-rate, selling insurance to nearly 100% of the recruits he advised. Rather than asking him about this, the Captain ... Читать далее...
33. Значение идиомы stake a claim[stake a claim] {v. phr.} 1. To claim ownership of land by drivingstakes to show boundaries. The gold hunters staked claims in theWest. 2. {informal} To claim a person or thing as your own by somesign. Usually used with «on». George staked a claim on Dianne bygiving her his class ring....
34. Значение идиомы shoot questions at[shoot questions at] {v. phr.} To interrogate rapidly andvigorously. The attorney for the prosecution shot one questionafter another at the nervous witness....
35. A perfect choiceA woman who had been married twice and divorced twice was fed up. Her first husband beat her, and her second husband ran away with another woman. Plus, she couldn’t find a new lover who could satisfy her sexually, so she put an ad in the classifieds: Wanted: A good looking, single guy who won’t ... Читать далее...
36. Значение идиомы zone defense[zone defense] {n.} A defense in a sport in which each player has to defend a certain area. Thecoach taught his team a zone defense because he thought his playersweren’t fast enough to defend against individual opponents....
37. Farmer Petrovich is whipping and slapping his sheepFarmer Petrovich is whipping and slapping his sheep when the local minister comes walking around the corner. The minister says, «My, Farmer Petrovich, you’re certainly giving that sheep a beating. You wouldn’t do that to your wife, would you?» The farmer says, «I would if she farted and jumped sideways every time I tried to ... Читать далее...
38. Reserving a Rental CarI will be in Chicago next week and needed a rental car. I called up Bargain Rental Cars and made a Reservation. After I got through the Phone tree, I spoke with a reservation Agent. Agent: Welcome to Bargain Rental Car. Jeff: I’d like to reserve a rental car. Agent: What city will you be ... Читать далее...
39. This guy was walking down a street in Texas and this hookerThis guy was walking down a street in Texas and this hooker says, «Say, wanna have a good time? We do things in a big way down here in Texas.» «Sure,» he says and they were off to the nearest motel. She takes off her clothes and he keeps staring at her. She says, «Is ... Читать далее...
40. A defending attorney was cross examining a coronerA defending attorney was cross examining a coroner. The attorney asks, «Before you signed the death certificate had you taken the man’s pulse?» The coroner says, «No.» The attorney then asks, «Did you listen for a heart beat?» «No.» «So when you signed the death certificate you had not taken any steps to make sure ... Читать далее...