Главная ⇒ 📌Jokes ⇒ A tourist wanders into a back-alley antique shop

A tourist wanders into a back-alley antique shop

A tourist wanders into a back-alley antique shop in San Francisco’s Chinatown. Picking through the objects on display he discovers a detailed bronze sculpture of a rat. The sculpture is so interesting and unique that he picks it up and asks the shop owner the price.

«Twelve dollars for the rat, sir,» says the shop owner, «and an extra thousand for the story behind it.»

«At that price, you can keep the story, old man,» he replies, «but I’ll take the bronze rat.»

The transaction complete, the tourist leaves the store with the bronze rat under his arm. As he crosses the street in front of the store, two live rats emerge from a sewer drain and fall into step behind him.

Nervously looking over his shoulder, he begins to walk faster, but every time he passes another sewer, more rats come out and follow him. By the time he’s walked two blocks, at least a hundred rats are at his heels, and people begin to point and shout. He walks even faster, and soon breaks into a trot as multitudes of rats swarm from sewers, basements, vacant lots, and abandoned cars… following him.

Rats by the thousands are at his heels, and as he sees the waterfront at the bottom of the hill he panics and starts to run full tilt.

No matter how fast he runs, the rats keep up, squealing hideously now not just thousands but millions, so that by the time he comes racing to the water’s edge a trail of rats twelve blocks long is behind him.

Making a mighty leap, he jumps up onto a lamp post, grasping it with one arm, while he hurls the bronze rat into San Francisco Bay as far as he can throw it.

Pulling his legs up and clinging to the post, he watches in amazement as the seething tide of rats surges over the breakwater into the sea, where they drown.

Shaken and mumbling, he makes his way back to the antique shop.

«Ah sir, you’ve come back for the story,» says the owner.

«No,» says the tourist, «I was just hoping you had a bronze sculpture of a lawyer «



Run into примеры.
Social networks перевод текста.

Related topics:

  1. Перевод слова touristTourist — турист Перевод слова Tourist-class passenger — пассажир туристического класса tourist season — туристический сезон tourist visa — туристическая виза The museums attract a lot of Tourists. Музеи привлекают множество туристов. The Tourist had a foreign accent. Турист говорил с иностранным акцентом. We specialize in catering for Tourist bus tours. Мы специализируемся на обслуживании ... Читать далее...
  2. A tourist from Albegestan goes on his first overseas tripA tourist from Albegestan goes on his first overseas trip. Upon arriving, he is visibly puzzled filling his visa application. The border official look s over his shoulder, and sees the tourist trying to write ‘Twice a week’ into the small space labeled ‘SEX’. The official explains: «No, no, no. That is not what we ... Читать далее...
  3. Значение идиомы close up shop[close up shop] {v. phr.} 1. To shut a store at the end of a day’s business, also, to end a business. The grocer closes up shop at 5 o’clock. After 15 years in business at the same spot, the garage closed up shop. 2. {informal} To stop some activity; finish what you are doing. ... Читать далее...
  4. A dog walks into a butcher shopA dog walks into a butcher shop with a purse strapped around his neck. He walks up to the meat case and calmly sits there until it’s his turn to be waited on. A man, who was already in the butcher shop, finished his purchase and noticed the dog. The butcher leaned over the counter ... Читать далее...
  5. Перевод идиомы close up shop / shut up shop, значение выражения и пример использованияИдиома: close up shop / shut up shop Перевод: закрывать лавочку, свернуть дело (временно или навсегда) Пример: I can’t make any money in this town. The time has come to close up shop and move to another town. У меня не получается ничего заработать в этом городке. Пришло время закрываться и переезжать в другой городок....
  6. An American tourist is visiting ChinaAn American tourist is visiting China. After visiting all the tourist attractions he decides to inquire about the people and askes his guide: «How large is the population here?» «Around 1.5 billion» — the guide answers American, After a short pause: «So, what else do you do here?»...
  7. What is your nameWalking through Chinatown, a tourist is fascinated with all the Chinese restaurants, shops, signs and banners. He turns a corner and sees a building with the sign, «Hans Olaffsen’s Laundry.» «Hans Olaffsen?», he muses. «How in hell does that fit in here?» So he walks into the shop and sees an old Chinese gentleman behind ... Читать далее...
  8. A man walks into a jewellers shopA man walks into a jewellers shop, unzips his trousers and places his tool upon the counter. The lady serving says: «I’m sorry Sir, this is a clock shop not a cock shop.» «Well, put two hands and a face on this.» replies the man....
  9. Перевод слова shopShop — магазин, лавка, буфет; ходить по магазинам Перевод слова Close up a shop — закрыть магазин coffee shop hours — время работы кафе to keep a shop — иметь магазин She works in a Shop. Она работает в магазине. It’s not available in the Shops. Этого нет в магазинах. Many people now Shop online. ... Читать далее...
  10. A tourist, visiting a small town in IsraelA tourist, visiting a small town in Israel, came upon a statue dedicated to «The Unknown Soldier». At the base of the statue, a sign was displayed: «Here lies Seymour Ruthenberg». The tourist inquired of one of the locals how was it possible an unknown had a name. The resident replied, «As a soldier, that ... Читать далее...
  11. Asking About Business HoursStore owner: Hello. Karin: Hello, is this Joe’s Shoe Repair? Store owner: Yes, how can I help you? Karin: I’m calling to find out your Business hours. Store owner: We’re open 24/7. Karin: Really? You’re open 24 hours a day, Seven days a week? Store owner: Yes, we are, More often than not. Of course ... Читать далее...
  12. There was a little old man who had a bit of a speech impedimentThere was a little old man who had a bit of a speech impediment. One day he went shopping, his first stop was at a hardware store. He went up to the shop assistant and asked «Could I have a fucket please?» The assistant asked»Pardon sir?». «Can I have a fucket please?» Replied the man. ... Читать далее...
  13. The Barber ShopThis guy sticks his head into a barber shop and asks, «How long before I can get a haircut?» The barber looks around the shop and says, «About 2 hours.» The guy leaves. A few days later the same guy sticks his head in the door and asks, «How long before I can get a ... Читать далее...
  14. Значение идиомы closed shop[closed shop] {n. phr.} 1. A plant or factory that employs only union workers. Our firm has been fighting the closed shop policy for many years now. 2. A profession or line of work dominated by followers of a certain mode of thinking and behaving that does not tolerate differing views or ideas. Certain groups ... Читать далее...
  15. A woman walks into a shop that sells very expensive Persian rugsA woman walks into a shop that sells very expensive Persian rugs. She looks around and spots the perfect rug and walks over to inspect it. As she bends to feel the texture of the rug she farts loudly. Very embarrassed, she looks around nervously to see if anyone has noticed her little accident and ... Читать далее...
  16. A man and his date walk into a very posh Rodeo DriveA man and his date walk into a very posh Rodeo Drive furrier after having eaten a very expensive lunch at one of Beverly Hills most exclusive restaurants. «Show the lady your finest mink!» the fellow exclaims. So the owner of the shop goes in back and comes out with an absolutely gorgeous full-length coat. ... Читать далее...
  17. Перевод слова ownerOwner — владелец, собственник Перевод слова Joint owner — совладелец right owner — законный владелец the owner of a car — владелец автомобиля I met the Owner of the local hotel. Я встретил владельца местного отеля. The Owner’s mark was on all the sheep. Клеймо владельца стояло на всех овцах. The Owner is having to ... Читать далее...
  18. A manager of a restaurant had called its ownerA manager of a restaurant had called its owner to ask about whether or not she should hire a new waitress. «She can speak twelve different languages, which will be good for foreign visitors,» said the manager. «All right, so hire her,» the owner replied.»But, sir…» «I knew there would be a but. What’s wrong ... Читать далее...
  19. Значение идиомы open shop[open shop] {n. phr.} A factory or firm that employs both union andnon-union labor. The firm refuses to adopt an open shop policy. Contrast: CLOSED SHOP....
  20. Cronin goes to a barber shop to get his hair cutCronin goes to a barber shop to get his hair cut. The barber cuts his hair, and after he gets done, as Cronin gets up and is taking out his money, the barber goes over and takes a leak in the corner of the barber shop. The barber finishes and comes back. As Cronin hands ... Читать далее...
  21. Значение идиомы talk shop[talk shop] {v. phr.}, {informal} To talk about things in your workor trade. Two chemists were talking shop, and I hardly understood aword they said....
  22. A tourist from the United States of AmericaA tourist from the United States of America is at a resturant in Havana. He tells the waiter that the USA is the best country in the world because of the freedoms it has. He says, «Take Freedom of Speech for example. I could stand in front of the White House in Washington D. C. ... Читать далее...
  23. Фразовый глагол shop around — перевод и значение, пример использованияФразовый глагол: shop around Перевод: прицениваться, ходить по магазинам и сравнивать цены, качество, и т. п. Пример: It’s always wise to shop around before buying anything. Всегда целесообразно прицениться перед тем, как что-либо покупать....
  24. Bargaining With Store OwnersConnie: You speak McQuillanese. Ask the store owner the price of this Vase. Ivan: All right. He says it’s $60. Connie: That’s actually a great price, but let’s see if I can Talk him down a little. You should never accept the Starting price and the prices in these stores are all Negotiable. Ask him ... Читать далее...
  25. A German tourist walks into a McDonald’s in New York CityA German tourist walks into a McDonald’s in New York City and orders a beer. (In Germany and many parts of Europe, McDonald’s actually does serve beer.) The local guy in the line behind him immediately gives him the jab: «They don’t serve BEER here, you MORON!» The German fellow felt pretty stupid, but suddenly ... Читать далее...
  26. Перевод идиомы up someone’s alley / down someone’s alley, значение выражения и пример использованияИдиома: up someone’s alley / down someone’s alley Идиома: up someone’s alley / down someone’s alley разг. Перевод: быть в кругу чьих-либо способностей, интересов Пример: He is very good at solving difficult math problems; this job is right up his alley. Он очень хорошо решает трудные математические задачи, эта работа как раз по его линии....
  27. Перевод идиомы talk shop, значение выражения и пример использованияИдиома: talk shop Перевод: говорить о работе Пример: Everybody at the company gathering decided that they would not talk shop during the dinner. На собрании компании все решили, что во время ужина не будут говорить о работе....
  28. Значение идиомы bull in a china shop[bull in a china shop] {n. phr.} A rough or clumsy person who says or does something to anger others or upset plans; a tactless person. We were talking politely and carefully with the teacher about a class party, but John came in like a bull in a china shop and his rough talk made ... Читать далее...
  29. Two blondes are passing by a fruit shop whenTwo blondes are passing by a fruit shop when the grocer calls to them, «Bananas! 50 cents each or three for a dollar!» The girls stop and look at each other. «Well I suppose we could always eat the third one!»...
  30. A bar nameA guy walks into a store and says to the managaer «why doesn’t your store have a name», the store manager says «I haven’t thought of one yet but I think u can help me, what’s your girlfriend’s name.» The guy says «Jenny» then the store owner says «What’s do you like most about Jenny» ... Читать далее...
  31. One man came to gun shopOne man (lets call him Johnny) came to gun shop. J(ohnny):I want a pistol S(alesman):Choose from this wall (points at wall full of pistols) J: (points at biggest pistol) I want this, S: An.44 Magnum? And for what purpose? J: For shooting cans. S: (points on smaller handgun) For shooting cans is the best this ... Читать далее...
  32. Our next targetsNow that Uday & Qusay have been eliminated, a lot of the lesser-known Hussein family members are coming to the attention of American authorities. Among the brothers: —————— Sooflay…………………..the restauranteur Guday……………………. the half-Australian brother Huray……………………. the sports fanatic Bejay……………………..the gay brother Kuntay & Kintay…………….the twins from the African mother Sayhay…………………….the baseball player Ojay………………………the stalker / ... Читать далее...
  33. A woman was thinking about finding a petA woman was thinking about finding a pet to help keep her company at home. She decided she would like to find a beautiful parrot; it wouldn’t be as much work as say a dog, and it would be fun to hear it speak. She went to a pet shop and immediately spotted a large ... Читать далее...
  34. Магазин/ ShopНа английском языке Перевод на русский язык Shop Магазин Modern cities are full of various shops. There are clothes shops, antique shops, bookstores, beauty shops, pharmacies, gift shops, supermarkets, newspaper stands, stationery shops, etc. When I want to buy food and beverages, I go to the nearest supermarket. There is also one hypermarket not far ... Читать далее...
  35. Finding a BargainManuel: Wow, I’ve never seen so many shopping bags in my life. I can guess where you’ve been. Georgia: I did Go overboard a bit today. I went to the Outlet mall and I found some real Bargains. Nearly everything was Discounted. I was in shopping Heaven! Manuel: I can see that. Georgia: My favorite ... Читать далее...
  36. Finding a BargainManuel: Wow, I’ve never seen so many shopping bags in my life. I can guess where you’ve been. Georgia: I did Go overboard a bit today. I went to the Outlet mall and I found some real Bargains. Nearly everything was Discounted. I was in shopping Heaven! Manuel: I can see that. Georgia: My favorite ... Читать далее...
  37. A cowboy walked into a barber shopA cowboy walked into a barber shop, sat on the barber’s chair and said, «I’ll have a shave and a shoe shine.» The barber began to lather his face while a woman with the biggest, firmest, most beautiful breasts that he had ever seen knelt down and began to shine his shoes. The cowboy said, ... Читать далее...
  38. Значение идиомы shop around for[shop around for] {v. phr.} To make the rounds of variouscommercial establishments in order to find the most economical answerfor one’s needs. We’ve been shopping around for a largercondominium that is affordable, and near the university....
  39. A man enters a barber shop for a shaveA man enters a barber shop for a shave. While the barber is foaming him up, he mentions the problems he has getting a close shave around the cheeks. «I have just the thing,» says the barber taking a small wooden ball from a nearby drawer. «Just place this between your cheek and gum.» The ... Читать далее...
  40. Bargaining with a SellerIt was Saturday afternoon and I was shopping in the Garment district in downtown L. A. If you want to find good Deals on clothes, shoes, and Accessories, this is the place to come. To get the best deal, though, you have to be ready to bargain. I walked by a Stall and saw a ... Читать далее...

A tourist wanders into a back-alley antique shop