A psychiatrist met a friend and exclaimed

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1. A blonde is speaking to her psychiatristA blonde is speaking to her psychiatrist. «I’m on the road a lot, and my clients are complaining that they can never reach me.» Psychiatrist: «Don’t you have a phone in your car?» Blonde: «That was a little too expensive, so I did the next best thing. I put a mailbox in my car.» Psychiatrist: ... Читать далее...
2. A very homely young woman made an appointment with a psychiatristA very homely young woman made an appointment with a psychiatrist. She walked into his office and said, «Doctor, I’m so depressed and lonely. I don’t have any friends, no man will come near me, and everybody laughs at me. Can you help me accept my ugliness?» «I’m sure I can,» the psychiatrist replied. «Just ... Читать далее...
3. Psychiatrist: What is wrong with your brother?Psychiatrist: What is wrong with your brother? Sister: He thinks he’s a chicken. Psychiatrist: How long has be been acting like a chicken? Sister: Three years. We would have come in sooner, but we needed the eggs....
4. A man goes to a psychiatristA man goes to a psychiatrist. To start things off, the psychiatrist suggests they start with a Rorschach Test. He holds up the first picture and asks the man what he sees. «A man and a woman making love in a park,» the man replies. The psychiatrist holds up the second picture and asks the ... Читать далее...
5. A Jewish young man was seeing a psychiatristA Jewish young man was seeing a psychiatrist for an eating and sleeping disorder. «I am so obsessed with my mother… As soon as I go to sleep, I start dreaming, and everyone in my dream turns into my mother. I wake up in such a state, all I can do is go downstairs and ... Читать далее...
6. When Joe’s wife ran away with his car, his money andWhen Joe’s wife ran away with his car, his money and his best friend, he got so depressed that his doctor sent him to see a psychiatrist. Joe told the psychiatrist his troubles and said, «Life isn’t worth living. I think I’m gonna top myself.» «Don’t be stupid, Joe,» said the psychiatrist. «My wife ran ... Читать далее...
7. Значение идиомы a friend in need is a friend indeed[a friend in need is a friend indeed] A genuine friend on whom one can always depend. — A proverb; often shortened to «a friend in need…» When John’s house burned down, his neighbor Jim helped him and his family with shelter, food and clothing. John said, «Jim, a friend in need is a friend ... Читать далее...
8. Пословица / поговорка a friend in need is a friend indeed — перевод и значение, пример использованияПословица / поговорка: a friend in need is a friend indeed Перевод: друзья познаются в беде Пример: He was my best friend since childhood so naturally I helped him when he got into trouble. We both know that a friend in need is a friend indeed. Он был моим лучшим другом с детства, поэтому естественно, ... Читать далее...
9. A woman came to the psychiatrist worriedA woman came to the psychiatrist worried. «Doctor,» she said, «I can’t sleep at night. When I’m in the next room, I have this dreadful fear that I won’t hear the baby if he falls out of the crib at night. What should I do?» «Easy,» said the doctor. «Just take the carpet off the ... Читать далее...
10. This guy walks into a psychiatrist’s office with aThis guy walks into a psychiatrist’s office with a concerned look on his face. «Doc,» he says, «I’m worried. It’s that dream. I’m having it again.» «What dream?» asked the shrink, not really paying attention. «You know,» says the man, «the one where I’m into sadism and bestiality and necrophilia. Should I be worried or ... Читать далее...
11. A woman goes to a psychiatrist and saysA woman goes to a psychiatrist and says, «Doctor, you’ve got to do something about my husband — he thinks he’s a refrigerator!» «I wouldn’t worry too much about it,» the doctor replies. «Lots of people have harmless delusions. It will pass.» «But you don’t understand,» the woman insists. «He sleeps with his mouth open, ... Читать далее...
12. A profoundly ugly girl went to the psychiatristA profoundly ugly girl went to the psychiatrist. «My life is a mess, doctor,» she began, «I am so fucking hideous that no one will associate with me, touch me, or even talk to me. Can you help?» «Why, certainly! Helping people feel much better about themselves is my area of expertise. I can start ... Читать далее...
13. I often feel guiltySheri, the pert and pretty nurse took her troubles to a resident psychiatrist in the hospital where she worked. «Doctor, you must help me,» she pleaded. «It’s gotten so that every time I date one of the young doctors here, I end up dating him. And then afterward, I feel guilty and depressed for a ... Читать далее...
14. Stacey makes a new friend at school and invites herStacey makes a new friend at school and invites her home for the first time. Stacey excuses herself to fetch her Mom and introduce her new friend. As her friend is standing in the living room next to the fireplace, she picks up the attractive vase on the mantle. When Stacey returns with her mother, ... Читать далее...
15. A man walks into a friend and seesA man walks into a friend and sees that his friend’s car is total loss and covered with leaves, grass, branches, dirt and blood. He asks his friend, «What’s happened to your car?» «Well,» the friend responses, «I ran into a lawyer». «OK,» says the man, «that explains the blood… But what about the leaves, ... Читать далее...
16. My friend is dead!Two hunters are out in the woods when one of them collapses. He doesn’t seem to be breathing and his eyes are glazed. The other man pulls out his phone and calls emergency services. He gasps to the operator: “My friend is dead! What can I do?” The operator in a calm, soothing voice replies: ... Читать далее...
17. Друг познается в беде/ A Friend In Need Is A Friend IndeedНа английском языке Перевод на русский язык A Friend In Need Is A Friend Indeed Друг познается в беде Friends play a very important role in our lives. But not every person around us can be called a good friend. A friend in need is a friend indeed — we all know this saying and ... Читать далее...
18. A blond at a party was telling her friendA blond at a party was telling her friend that she was off men for life. «They lie, they cheat and they’re just no good. From now on when I want sex, I’m going to use my vibrator» «So, what when the batteries run out?» asked her friend «I’ll just fake an orgasm like always.»...
19. A man was complaining to a friendA man was complaining to a friend. «I had it all. Money, a beautiful house, a BIG car, the love of a beautiful woman, then, POW! it was all gone!» «What happened?» asked the friend. «My wife found out.»...
20. Мой друг/ My friendНа английском языке Перевод на русский язык My friend Мой друг My name is Sergey. I’m twelve years old. I’m in the sixth grade. I have a lot of friends but I want to tell about my best friend. His name is Alexander. He’s my school-mate. Sasha is cheerful, inquisitive and kind. He is very ... Читать далее...
21. A horrible tragedyA man in a bar sees a friend at a table, drinking by himself. Approaching the friend he comments, «You look terrible. What’s the problem?» «My mother died in June,» he said, «and left me $10,000.» «Gee, that’s tough,» he replied. «Then in July,» the friend continued, «My father died leaving me $50,000.» «Wow. Two ... Читать далее...
22. I didn’t get any money this timeA man in a bar sees a friend at a table, drinking by himself. Approaching the friend he comments, «You look terrible. What’s the problem?» «My mother died in August,» he said, «and left me $25,000.» «Gee, that’s tough,» he replied. «Then in September,» the friend continued, «My father died, leaving me $90,000.» «Wow. Two ... Читать далее...
23. Trust thy friendThe sailor came home from a secret two year mission only to find his wife with a new born baby. Furious, he was determined to track down the father to extract revenge. «Was it my friend Sam», he demanded. «No!» his weeping wife replied. «Was it my friend Jim then?» he asked. «NO!!!» she said ... Читать далее...
24. My FriendI have a very good friend. His (her) name is… Friends are very important in our life. I think one cannot live without friends. The most important thing for being good friends, to my mind, is to be ready to help one another in any situation, nevertheless how difficult it is, to support one another ... Читать далее...
25. Значение идиомы lady friend[lady friend] {n.} 1. A woman friend. His aunt stays with a ladyfriend in Florida during the winter. 2. A woman who is the lover of aman. — Used by people trying to appear more polite, but not often usedby careful speakers. The lawyer took his lady friend to dinner. Syn.: GIRLFRIEND....
26. My Best Friend (2)Every person needs a friend. Friends are very important in our life. My best friend’s name is Dasha. She is in my class. We have a lot in common. She likes sport and dancing. She if fond of music and films. We often spend time together: we walk after school, talk about different things, watch ... Читать далее...
27. Перевод слова friendFriend — друг, подруга Перевод слова Close friend — близкий друг to have a cosy chat with a friend — поговорить с другом по душам so-called friend — так называемый друг My Friend and I split up. Мой друг и я расстались. I’d like you to meet my Friend. Я бы хотел чтобы ты познакомился ... Читать далее...
28. Значение идиомы girl friend[girl friend] {n.}, {informal} 1. A female friend or companion. Jane is spending the night at her girlfriend’s house. 2. A boy’ssteady girl; the girl or woman partner in a love affair; girl;sweetheart. John is taking his girl friend to the dance. Contrast:BOYFRIEND....
29. Scared sleepingShakey went to a psychiatrist. «Doc,» he said, «I’ve got trouble. Every time I get into bed, I think there’s somebody under it. I get under the bed, I think there’s somebody on top of it. Top, under, top, under. «you gotta help me, I’m going crazy!» «Just put yourself in my hands for two ... Читать далее...
30. A woman and her friend are visiting the zooA woman and her friend are visiting the zoo. They are standing in front of the big silver back gorillas cage, when one woman makes a gesture that the gorilla interprets as an invitation. He grabs her yanks her over the fence and takes her to his nest in the pen. There he ravishhes her ... Читать далее...
31. Перевод слова reliableReliable — надежный, заслуживающий доверия Перевод слова A very reliable medicine — очень надежное лекарство, верное средство reliable assistants — сотрудники, на которых можно положиться reliable witness — надежный свидетель Miller was a quiet and Reliable man. Миллер был спокойным и надежным человеком. The results demonstrate convincingly that this method is safe and Reliable. Результаты ... Читать далее...
32. Having a Best FriendLucy: I’m so excited! My friend, Marlene, is coming to town for a visit. Buddy: Have I met Marlene? Lucy: No, I don’t think so. We Grew up together and we were always Joined at the hip. Buddy: When I was little, I had a friend like that. We were Blood brothers. Lucy: Yeah, Marlene ... Читать далее...
33. A blonde was complaining to her friend about constantly beingA blonde was complaining to her friend about constantly being called a dumb blonde. Her friend tells her «go do something to prove them wrong! Why don’t you learn all the state capitals or something?» The blonde thinks this is a great idea, and locks herself up for two weeks studying. The next party she ... Читать далее...
34. Значение идиомы come alive[come alive] or [come to life] {v.} 1. {informal} To become alert or attentive; wake up and look alive; become active. When Mr. Simmons mentioned money, the boys came alive. Bob pushed the starter button, and the engine came alive with a roar. 2. To look real; take on a bright, natural look. Under skillful ... Читать далее...
35. Как быть хорошим другом/ How To Be A Good FriendНа английском языке Перевод на русский язык How To Be A Good Friend Как быть хорошим другом Being a good friend is not always easy, but the friendship built over time is true and long-lasting. It is worth every bit of the effort. Over the years some people will join you, others will leave you. ... Читать далее...
36. Значение идиомы bosom friend[bosom friend] {n. phr.} A very close friend; an old buddy with whom one has a confidential relationship. Sue and Jane have been bosom friends since their college days....
37. Характер моего друга/ My Friend’s CharacterНа английском языке Перевод на русский язык My Friend’s Character Характер моего друга I suppose every person has the best friend and so do I. Susie and I met when we were at school and we became friends immediately. They say extremes meet but this is not about me and my friend. We are very ... Читать далее...
38. Перевод слова aliveAlive — живой, в живых Перевод слова To drop alive — ожить to keep hope alive — сохранять надежду look alive! — живей!, пошевеливайся! You are lucky to be Alive. Тебе повезло, что ты остался жив. We need to keep hope Alive. Мы должны сохранить надежду. Apparently he’s Alive and well and living in Brazil. ... Читать далее...
39. Course of actionOne Friday afternoon, two secretaries were hanging around the water cooler at the office. «Veronica, I just don’t know what to do,» Gloria said to her friend at work. «That good-looking Alex in accounting asked me out on a date for Saturday night. Should I go?» «Oh, my God!» her friend exclaimed. «He’ll wine you, ... Читать далее...
40. A guy was trying to console a friendA guy was trying to console a friend who’d just found his wife in bed with another man. «Get over it, buddy,» he said. «It’s not the end of the world.» «It’s all right for you to say,» answered his buddy. «But what if you came home one night and caught another man in bed ... Читать далее...