A promise to keep

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1. A buxom blonde wore, at a charity ball, an enormous diamondA buxom blonde wore, at a charity ball, an enormous diamond. «It happens to be the third most famous diamond in the whole world,» she boasted. «The first is the Hope Diamond, then comes the Kohinoor, and then comes this one, which is called Lipshitz.» «What a diamond!» «How lucky you are!» «Wait, wait, nothing ... Читать далее...
2. Three guys were sitting in a bar talkingThree guys were sitting in a bar talking. One was a Doctor, one was a Lawyer, and one was a Biker. After a sip of his martini, the doctor said; «You know, tomorrow is my anniversary. I got my wife a diamond ring and a new Mercedez. I figure that if she doesn’t like the ... Читать далее...
3. Перевод слова diamondDiamond — алмаз, бриллиант Перевод слова Diamond of the first water — бриллиант чистой воды cut diamond — отшлифованный алмаз, бриллиант industrial diamond — промышленный алмаз That’s a whopper of a Diamond ring. Какое громадное бриллиантовое кольцо! There is a microscopic crack in the Diamond. В алмазе есть микроскопические трещины. The ruby was surrounded by ... Читать далее...
4. Marriage quotes 01Marriage is not a word. It is a sentence — a life sentence. Marriage is very much like a violin; after the sweet music is over, the strings are attached. Marriage is love. Love is blind. Therefore, marriage is an institution for the blind. Marriage is an institution in which a man loses his Bachelor’s ... Читать далее...
5. Sweet, Sweet Road RageAn elderly lady was stopped to pull into a parking space when a young man in his new red Mercedes went around her and parked in the space she was waiting for. The little old lady was so upset that she went up to the man and said, «I was going to park there!» The ... Читать далее...
6. A reason for break-up«What’s this I hear about you breaking off your engagement Pam?» said her closest friend. «Well,» Pam confirmed, «although his diamond was of pretty good quality, his mounting left a lot to be desired.»...
7. A work of artA tiny but dignified old lady was among a group looking at an art exhibition in a newly opened gallery. Suddenly one contemporary painting caught her eye. «What on earth,» she inquired of the artist standing nearby, «is that?» He smiled condescendingly. «That, my dear lady, is supposed to be a mother and her child.» ... Читать далее...
8. And I will do anything for loveThe beautiful secretary of the president of a bank goes on a sight-seeing tour with a very rich African king who was a very important client. The client out of the blue asks her to marry him. Naturally, the secretary is quite taken aback. However, she remembers what her boss told her, …don’t reject the ... Читать далее...
9. Marriage quotes 08Many a wife thinks her husband is the world’s greatest lover. But she can never catch him at it. Marriage is a matter of give and take, but so far I haven’t been able to find anybody who’ll take what I have to give. — Cass Daley Marriage is a mutual relationship if both parties ... Читать далее...
10. Sending a 3,106 carat diamond by Parcel Post!The Cullinan Diamond is the largest rough diamond ever found — at 3,106.75 carats. It was found in South Africa in 1905 and had to be transported from South Africa to England to be presented to King Edward VII. Transporting such a valuable diamond was a huge security risk. So how did they do it? ... Читать далее...
11. Cowboy Joe was telling his fellow cowboys back on the ranchCowboy Joe was telling his fellow cowboys back on the ranch about his first visit to a big-city church. «When I got there, they had me park my old truck in the corral,» Joe began. «You mean the parking lot,» interrupted Charlie, a more worldly fellow. «I walked up the trail to the door,» Joe ... Читать далее...
12. An old lady owned two monkeysAn old lady owned two monkeys. One day they both died, so she took them to the taxodermist. «So you want them mounted?» asked the taxidermist. To which she replied: «No. Holding hands will do just fine.»...
13. It was the age when knighthood was in flowerIt was the age when knighthood was in flower. A young lady was pounding away at a piece of iron with a sledgehammer. Another young lady saw her and asked, «What are you doing?» The first one answered, «I’m making socks and sweater for some soldier boy!»...
14. Перевод слова tinyTiny — крошечный Перевод слова Tiny parasitic insects — маленькие насекомые-паразиты tiny spark — искорка tiny brook — ручеек tiny tot with yellow hair — малыш с золотистыми волосами The plate had a Tiny chip in the edge. На ободке тарелки была крошечная щербинка. The computer chips were Tiny. Компьютерные микросхемы были крошечные. It was ... Читать далее...
15. True loveThree men were drinking at a bar — a doctor, an attorney and a biker. As the doctor was drinking his white wine he said, «For her birthday, I’m going to buy my wife a fur coat and a diamond ring. This way, if she doesn’t like the fur coat she will still love me ... Читать далее...
16. The young couple was engaged in a most affectionateThe young couple was engaged in a most affectionate embrace when there came the sound of a key in the front door. The young lady broke away at once, eyes wide with alarm. «Heavens,» she cried, «it’s my husband! Quick, jump out the window.» The young man, equally alarmed, made a quick step toward the ... Читать далее...
17. Taking the final examTwo college basketball players were taking an important final exam. If they failed, they would be on academic probation and not allowed to play in the big game the following week. The exam was fill-in-the-blank. The last question read, «Old MacDonald had a ________.» Bubba was stumped. He had no idea what to answer. But ... Читать далее...
18. Перевод слова ladyLady — леди, женщина Перевод слова Great lady — знатная дама you’ve dropped your gloves, lady! — женщина, вы обронили перчатки! foxy lady — соблазнительная женщина your good lady — ваша супруга Shall we rejoin the Ladies? Не вернуться ли нам к дамам? She’s swell, a real Lady. Она одевается стильно, как настоящая леди. Don’t ... Читать далее...
19. Pecuniary reasonsA few moments after the daughter announced her engagement, her Father asked, «Does this fellow have any money?» The daughter shook her head sadly. «Oh Daddy! You men are all alike.» sighing deeply, she replied, «That’s exactly what he asked me about you.»...
20. A guy bought his wife a beautiful diamond ring forA guy bought his wife a beautiful diamond ring for Christmas. A friend of his said, «I thought she wanted one of those sporty 4-Wheel drive vehicles.» «She did,» he replied. «But where in the hell was I gonna find a fake Jeep?»...
21. Abe LincolnAn older man wearing a stovepipe hat, a waistcoat and a phoney beard sat down at a bar and ordered a drink. As the bartender set it down, he asked, «Going to a party?» «Yeah,» the man answered, «I’m supposed to come dressed as my love life.» «But you look like Abe Lincoln,» protested the ... Читать далее...
22. A young lady walks into a doctors officeA young lady walks into a doctors office. «Doctor I’m suffering from a terrible discharge» The Doctor lays her down lifts up her dress and has a good probe around and says «how does that feel?» Young lady, «Oooh doctor that feels lovely….. …but the discharge is from my ear!!»...
23. Excerpts from the rural lifeA farmer goes out one day and buys a brand new stud rooster for his chicken coop. The young rooster walks over to the old rooster and says «Ok, old fellow, time to retire.» The old rooster says «You can’t handle all these chickens….look at what it did to me!» The young rooster replies, «Now, ... Читать далее...
24. This fellow was screwing his best friend’s wife when heThis fellow was screwing his best friend’s wife when he suddenly stopped and sat on the edge of the bed, holding his head in his hands. «What the hell is your problem?» the lady asked. «I feel like a regular son of a bitch, getting my best friends pussy,» the man moaned. The lady reached ... Читать далее...
25. Значение идиомы you don’t say[you don’t say] {interj.}, {informal} — Used to show surprise atwhat is said. Your ring is a real diamond? You don’t say! «Billand Jean are going to get married.» «You don’t say!» Syn.: DO TELL....
26. A man and his date walk into a very posh Rodeo DriveA man and his date walk into a very posh Rodeo Drive furrier after having eaten a very expensive lunch at one of Beverly Hills most exclusive restaurants. «Show the lady your finest mink!» the fellow exclaims. So the owner of the shop goes in back and comes out with an absolutely gorgeous full-length coat. ... Читать далее...
27. A Marriage Proposal II have been trying to Get up the nerve to ask my girlfriend to Marry me. We have been dating for almost a year and I think she’s The one. I went shopping for Engagement Rings and really hated the experience. I wasn’t sure what kind of ring she’d like and it took me a ... Читать далее...
28. A policeman was patrolling near midnightA policeman was patrolling near midnight at a local parking spot overlooking a golf course. He drove by a car and saw a couple inside with the dome light on. Inside there was a young man in the driver’s seat reading a computer magazine and a young lady in the back seat calmly knitting. He ... Читать далее...
29. Gift for a birthdayA fellow was very much in love with a beautiful girl. One day she told him that the next day was her birthday. He told her he would send her a bouquet of roses… one for each year of her life. That evening he called the local florist and ordered twenty-one roses with instructions that ... Читать далее...
30. Fulfilling a promiseA woman recently lost her husband. She had him cremated and brought his ashes home. Picking up the urn that he was in, she poured him out on the counter. Then she started talking to him, and tracing her fingers in the ashes, she said, «You know that fur coat you promised me Irving?» She ... Читать далее...
31. Перевод слова youngYoung — молодой, юный Перевод слова Robust young man — здоровый крепкий юноша young fellow — молодой человек young idea — свежая идея A Young cat is a kitten. Маленькую кошку называют котенком. He looks Young for his age. Он выглядит молодо для своего возраста. The lioness fought to protect her Young. Львица дралась, чтобы ... Читать далее...
32. Пословица / поговорка diamond cuts diamond — перевод и значение, пример использованияПословица / поговорка: diamond cuts diamond Перевод: один другому не уступит Эквивалент в русском языке: нашла коса на камень Пример: Even though the two friends in fact shared each other’s opinion, they wouldn’t admit it. Diamond cuts diamond. Хотя эти два друга и придерживались одного и того же мнения, они бы ни за что не ... Читать далее...
33. A little boy and his dad are standing in lineA little boy and his dad are standing in line at the grocery store behind a big fat lady. The little boy says, «hey dad, look how fat that lady is!» «Shhhh, quiet son, she’ll hear you.» «But dad, look how big and fat that lady is!» «Shhhhhh, don’t say that son, it’s not nice!» ... Читать далее...
34. Перевод слова fellowFellow — человек, парень, тип; товарищ, собрат Перевод слова A fellow can’t work all day long — не может же человек работать весь день jolly fellow — веселый малый fellows at school — товарищи по школе Oh, isn’t he a duck of a Fellow? Не правда ли, он просто прелесть? A tight Fellow! Хороший парень! ... Читать далее...
35. The young lady entered the doctor’s office carrying an infantThe young lady entered the doctor’s office carrying an infant. «Doctor,» she explained, «the baby seems to be ailing. Instead of gaining weight, he lost three ounces this week.» The medic examined the child and then started to squeeze the girl’s breasts. He then unbuttoned her blouse, removed the bra and began powerfully sucking on ... Читать далее...
36. A little old lady buys a pair of parrotsA little old lady buys a pair of parrots, but cannot identify their sexes. She calls the shop, and the man there advises her to watch them carefully and all would become clear in time. She spends weeks staring at the cage and eventually catches them doing what comes naturally. To make sure she doesn’t ... Читать далее...
37. Значение идиомы throw one’s hat in the ring[throw one’s hat in the ring] or [toss one’s hat in the ring] {v. phr.}, {informal} To announce that you are going to try to be electedto an official position; become a candidate for office. Bill tossedhis hat in the ring for class president. The senator threw his hatin the ring for re-election....
38. A real bastardA little boy is standing at the side of a river, weeping. His tears are streaming down his cheeks. An elderly lady passes by and feels pity for him. «What is the matter, young boy? Why are you crying?» «It’s mean!», the boy sniffed, «My daddy drowned all four little kittens we had yesterday!» «That’s ... Читать далее...
39. Star of the SouthThe Star of the South, also known as Estrela do Sul, is a diamond found in Brazil in July 1853. The diamond is cut into a cushion shape and weighs 128.48 carats (25.696 g). The Star of the South is graded as a type IIa diamond, with a colour grading of fancy light pinkish-brown and ... Читать далее...
40. This young lady, a flighty young thingThis young lady, a flighty young thing, got a job cleaning the bank windows in the evening after the bank closed for business. Anyway, she was up this ladder, cleaning good and proper and as she was in the habit of wearing no knickers, every young man who would come along would stop and stare ... Читать далее...