A Manager of a retail clothing store is reviewing

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1. The bank manager was in the final stages of hiring The bank manager was in the final stages of hiring a cashierand was down to two final applicants – one of which would get the job. The first one interviewed was from a small college in upstate New York. A nice young man, but a bit timid. Then he called for the second man, “Jim […]...
2. Перевод слова retail Retail – розничный, розничная продажа Перевод слова Retail trade – розничная торговля retail price – розничная цена to sell by retail – продавать в розницу This book Retails at $10 overseas. Розничная цена этой книги за границей – 10 долларов. Retail sales fell in November by 5%. Розничные продажи в ноябре упали на 5%. The […]...
3. A man goes to his bank manager and says A man goes to his bank manager and says “I’d like to start a small business how do I go about it?” The bank manager leans back and clasps his hands together on his gut and replies “Buy a big one and wait”...
4. I am looking for a job as a consultant Job Applicant: “I’m looking for a job as a consultant.” Employer: “I’m sorry, we already have enough cosultants.” Applicant: “That’s ok, with my experience, I can be an advisor.” Employer: “More than we can use already.” Applicant: As he is getting desperate, “I’m not proud, I can do paperwork, I’ll be a clerk, If you […]...
5. Перевод слова manager Manager – управляющий, руководитель, менеджер Перевод слова Manager of distribution – менеджер отдела сбыта branch manager – заведующий отделением, заведующий филиалом campaign manager – руководитель избирательной кампании He was appointed Manager. Его назначили управляющим. He will make a good Manager. Он станет хорошим управляющим. I demand to see the Manager. Я хочу видеть менеджера. Происхождение […]...
6. A manager of a restaurant had called its owner A manager of a restaurant had called its owner to ask about whether or not she should hire a new waitress. “She can speak twelve different languages, which will be good for foreign visitors,” said the manager. “All right, so hire her,” the owner replied.”But, sir…” “I knew there would be a but. What’s wrong […]...
7. Next time you think your hotel bill is too high you might want to consider this Husband and wife are traveling by car from Key West to Boston After almost twenty-four hours on the road, They’re too tired to continue, and they decide to stop for a rest. They stop at a nice hotel and take a room, but they only plan to sleep for four hours and then get back […]...
8. Notice To make things easier for all of us, please notice this Important Notice About Notices. You may have noticed the increased number of notices for you to notice. We notice that some of our notices have been noticed. On the other hand, some of our notices have not been noticed. This is very noticeable. It […]...
9. Reviewing Job Applications Missy: Okay, let’s sort this Stack of applications into three Piles: good Candidates, those Worth a second look, and definite “no’s.” Jonathan: Well, that didn’t take long. With this poor economy, I thought we’d get An embarrassment of riches, but these applications are pretty Pathetic. I only see two of these people as employee Material. […]...
10. Перевод слова wage Wage – заработная плата; проводить, осуществлять Перевод слова To wage a campaign – проводить кампанию to wage a contest – состязаться, соревноваться wage scale – шкала заработной платы; расценки dismissal wage – выходное пособие He earned a substantial Wage. Он получал приличную зарплату. The Wages of sin is death. Расплата за грехи – смерть. Napoleon […]...
11. A British Army colonel was reviewing the troops in colonial India A British Army colonel was reviewing the troops in colonial India. One man he passed sported an enormous erection. “Sergeant-Major!” the colonel shouted.”Give this man 30 days compassionate home leave.” “Yessir,” the Sgt. Major replied. A few months later the same thing occurred with the same man. “Sergeant-Major! Give this man another 30 days compassionate […]...
12. Моя будущая профессия – менеджер/ My Future Profession Is A Manager На английском языке Перевод на русский язык My Future Profession Is A Manager Моя будущая профессия – менеджер As the school comes to an end, we need to think about our future career. There are certainly many interesting and worthy professions in the modern world, but I think that people should choose what’s best for […]...
13. The manager of a large city zoo was drafting a letter to order The manager of a large city zoo was drafting a letter to order a pair of animals. He sat at his computer and typed the following sentence: “I would like to place an order for two mongooses, to be delivered at your earliest convenience.” He stared at the screen, focusing on that odd word mongooses. […]...
14. A middle manager is called into his bosses office A middle manager is called into his bosses office on a Monday morning. He is told he has to get rid of one employee in his department by the next Monday. “Downsizing.” He’s really upset. Everyone in his department does a good job and it doesn’t seem fair. So for the next 2 days he […]...
15. Applying for Unemployment Benefits Agency Employee: Hello, state Unemployment agency. George: Hello, I’d like to apply for Unemployment benefits. Agency Employee: Okay, give me your address and I’ll send you an application. George: How much can I get? Agency Employee: That depends. Your benefits are Calculated based on your Quarterly earnings. You were Laid off from your job? George: […]...
16. A rather novel way to A policeman cruising past a pub after closing time notices two motor bikes still parked out the front. He goes round the back of the pub only to find two bikies, one with his fingers up the bum of the other. “So what’s going on here?” he asks. The bikie replies “My mate here has […]...
17. Перевод слова application Application – просьба, заявление Перевод слова Written application – письменное заявление to send in an application – подать заявление to withdraw an application – забирать прошение Please fill out this Application. Пожалуйста, заполните данное приложение. My Application was lost in the post. Мое заявление было потеряно на почте. He sent in his job Application late. […]...
18. A blind man walks into a drug store with his seeing eye dog A blind man walks into a drug store with his seeing eye dog. He takes the dogs leash & starts swinging it around & around his head. The druggist says “May I help you?” The blind man replies “No thank you, I’m just looking around.”...
19. A lady was in a hardware store looking at A lady was in a hardware store looking at a fishing poles. She asked the store manager how much it was he said ‘I am blind drop it on the ground and i’ll tell ya. She dropped it on the ground.’Aahh that’s 10.00.’ She bent down and let a big fart that everyone heard. But, […]...
20. Father of my children A guy is in line at the local Wal-Mart when he notices that a rather hot blond behind him has just smiled “Hello” to him. He is rather taken aback that such a looker would be waving to him… and although familiar he can’t place where he might know her from… so he says…”Sorry….do you […]...
21. A guy walks into a bar and sits down next to A guy walks into a bar and sits down next to an extremely gorgeous woman. The first thing he notices about her though, are her pants. They were skin-tight, high-waisted and had no obvious mechanism (zipper, buttons or velcro) for opening them. After several minutes of puzzling over how she got the pants up over […]...
22. Little Johnny is coming home from the store Little Johnny’s is coming home from the store swinging the loaf of bread in one hand and the other hand in his pants pocket. Along come Priest Joe and he thinks to himself, “This is a good opportunity to say something from the bible to Little Johnny.” He walks up to Little Johnny and says, […]...
23. A businessman boards a flight 66.A businessman boards a flight and is lucky enough to be seated next to an absolutely gorgeous woman. They exchange brief hellos and he notices that she is reading a manual about sexual statistics. He asks her about it and she replies, “This is a very interesting book about sexual statistics. It identifies that American […]...
24. A truck driver breaks down and A truck driver breaks down and shortly another trucker stops to give him hand. He notices that the first driver has a big red spot painted on his dash and asks him what it’s for. He replies “Oh that’s a conversation piece for when I pick up female hitchhikers. I get lots of pussy that […]...
25. There was a boy who worked in the produce section of the market There was a boy who worked in the produce section of the market. One day, a man came in and asked to buy half a head of lettuce. The boy told him that they only sold whole heads of lettuce, but the man replied that he did not need a whole head, but only a […]...
26. A duck walks into a general store A duck walks into a general store and asks the manager,”Got any fresh fruit?” “No.” “Got any fresh vegetables?” “No. We have only canned and dry goods.” The next day, the duck returns. “Got any fresh fruit?” “No.” “Got any fresh vegetables?” “No. I told you yesterday, we have only canned and dry goods. If […]...
27. Giving Someone Your Recommendation Jimmy: My cousin Sal said that he Put in an application for a job here. Suzanne: Yeah, that’s right. Jimmy: Well? Suzanne: Well, what? Jimmy: Are you going To hire him? Suzanne: I’m not sure. He doesn’t have any experience and he didn’t provide any References. Jimmy: I can Vouch for him. Sal is Solid. […]...
28. Volunteer Work Some people say that it’s Civic duty to “give back” to your community. That’s true but for me, I want to do some Volunteer work so that I can feel useful. I’ve been working at the same job for years and it’s not at all Rewarding. Yes, I Make good money, but I never feel […]...
29. A woman walks into a pet store A woman walks into a pet store wanting to buy a pet for her husband, but she finds all the pets are so so expensive. The woman says to the clerk at the counter, “I’m looking to buy a pet for my husband but I’m on a very short budget!.” “No worries,” replies the clerk. […]...
30. A change of style Two men were changing in the locker room after a game of tennis. One notices the other one is putting on pair of stockings and suspenders. He says “When did you start wearing them?” To which the other man replies “Since my wife found a pair on the back seat of the car.”...
31. A priest is walking down the street one day when A priest is walking down the street one day when he notices a very small boy trying to press a doorbell on a house across the street. However, the boy is very small and the doorbell is too high for him to reach. After watching the boys efforts for some time, the priest moves closer […]...
32. Do you have an email address? An unemployed man is desperate to support his family of a wife and three kids. He applies for a janitor’s job at a large firm and easily passes an aptitude test. The human resources manager tells him, “You will be hired at minimum wage of $5.35 an hour. Let me have your e-mail address so […]...
33. Unique job interviews Job Interview Quotations Vice Presidents and personnel directors of the one hundred largest corporations were asked to describe their most unusual experience interviewing prospective employees. A job applicant challenged the interviewer to an arm wrestle. Interviewee wore a Walkman, explaining that she could listen to the interviewer and the music at the same time. Candidate […]...
34. The Presidential watches A man goes to a jewelry store looking to buy a watch. He looks at a watch called “the George Bush Watch” and asks the sales clerk why there are no hands. The sales clerk says – “you are suppose to read his lips”. He then looks at a watch called the “Ross Perot Watch” […]...
35. Hillary goes to heaven Hillary Clinton died and, Lord knows why, went to heaven. St. Peter approached her and says “Hillary, I know you’re ‘somebody’ down on Earth, but up here, you’re just another person. And, I’m swamped right now, so have a seat and I’ll get back with you as soon as I can.” So Hillary sits down […]...
36. A Pollock walks over the Red Light District in Amsterdam A Pollock walks over the Red Light District in Amsterdam when suddenly he notices a fine looking hooker looking at him. He stops, bangs on the window and says,”So, what does this cost??!!”. And the hooker replies,”25 dollars!!”. And the Pollock said,”Hmm, that’s not a lot of money for insulated windows!!”....
37. A state-of-the-art watch A cowboy walks into a bar and takes a seat next to a very attractive woman. He gives her a quick glance then causally looks at his watch for a moment. The woman notices this and asks, “Is your date running late?” “No”, he replies,”I just got this state-of the-art watch, and I was just […]...
38. Bank Teller Bank Teller A middle aged man walks into the bank and says to the young teller, “I want to open a fucking checking account”. “Please sir”, she replies, “we can’t have language like that in here.” “Why the Fuck not?” he asked. “Sir,” Came her retort, “I must ask you to refrain from swearing.” “I […]...
39. Traditions A man and a woman got married, and he told her : ” since you are my wife you should respect my traditions and habits…and i have 3 traditions. So, first tradition: On wednesdays i play football with my friends…no matter what..whether it snows or it rains…i dont care..i play football!! -Is it clear for […]...
40. An old man goes into the Social Security Office An old man goes into the Social Security Office and fills out an application. Too old to have a birth certificate, he is asked to prove he is old enough. He opens his shirt and shows them the gray hair on his chest and they accept that as proof. He goes home to his wife, […]...